I'm just a guy.
Sometimes I'm a guy and some pizza, but most of the time I'm just a guy.
When I was a young child and people used to ask me "what will you become when you grow up?" I always confidently replied: "A duck!". Now I'm all grown up , and- you guessed it- I'm no duck, Not even close. My webbings are too small , and my lips are way too soft to be considered a beak or a bill of any kind. You'd expect the moral of this silly story to be "Never wish for something you can't get", but it really is "Never ask a child anything before he gets a chance to develop a useful vocabulary."
P.S - the guy in the photos? My younger, cooler brother.