Born in the 70's, dressed like a twat, never had cool trainers , looked stupid in a cap - My mum got my jeans from a kid up the street and its not fuckin funny i was 8 and he was 3, managed to get myself mates despite my fashion and just as i got em all to stop laughing, some kid comes along and he starts breakdancing and it all went wobbly from there
Back to the future 20 odd years, brandy n coke not a fan of the beers. Now ive learned how to dance its not one of my fears, infact im more worried about my bank arrears. Working out as a top hair dresser, get to hear all the girls confessions, he's been coming home in a right state, she showed his dwarf porn to her mate. Getting sent a valentines card from a client who said i make her nipples hard, took her out to a cheap hotel, clicked my fingers and her knickers fell. Laid her out on the pristine sheets, she said you cant shag me iive not shaved for a week, i said ey, pass the bag of tricks, revved the clippers up you better cover your clit. In the morning she leaves with a bang, sticky hand print like the red hand gang, she just came on and the blood got spiller, cleaner thinks im a serial killer. She goes downstairs and she gets in a cab, text message tells me im a disgrace, talk to the driver all the way home, pubic hair like a beard stuck to her face. My mates think im crazy , but they find it funny, i aint got no car man i aint got no money, but i still play the guitar better than you strum it - and i dont give a FUCK what you think.
AND IT ALL WENT WOBBLY FROM THERE