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Jess Hanebury's Mother Fuckin Cheese Shoppe and other not real places.

Partly because of Alex's MSCE project and partly because of a huge stack of forgotten sketchbooks I just found, I started a new project called Logos for No One. It's exactly what it sounds like, and you can see some examples/follow it here. The most recent one is a logo for Jess's maybe-real-but-mostly-we-just-wish-it-was-real, Mother Fuckin Cheese Shop.



The short of this is that I'd love to hear any and all names you've ever thought of or can think of now for places or things (seriously, anything) that aren't real. Next on the list is Christian's suggestion: Hail Seitan Vegan Restaurant.


Also, I just realized that just about everyone here has no idea who I am. So, I'm Jillian. And I work at Threadless. And that is all.

Watch this
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campkatie
campkatie profile pic Alumni

ahhahah that's great

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni

Thanks, friends! Just gotta figure out which one to start in on next. Christ Gang keeps making me laugh.

EZFL
EZFL profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

Crabby Joe's Bait Shop & Eatery

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni
redhandedjillian said:

I just wanted you guys to know I didn't forget about this. Here is a gif I made to make up for it.

Possibly the best thing ever.

campkatie
campkatie profile pic Alumni

totes pregos! abortion drive-thru

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
campkatie said:

totes pregos! abortion drive-thru

I'm going to get fired for loving this.

campkatie
campkatie profile pic Alumni

haha, I'm just going to hell

taz-pie

BAHAHAHA totes pregos

taz-pie

You guys must have SUCH fun at work! :D

Omair
redhandedjillian said:

I just wanted you guys to know I didn't forget about this. Here is a gif I made to make up for it.

Think of all the stuff you can do while literally wearing jeff's face. So many cool jeff things like:

-Cut the Grass -... -Smoke the Grass -etc.

Omair

Damn you comment formatting. You win this time, computers...

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
taz-pie said:

You guys must have SUCH fun at work! :D

Taz-- Whenever I see a thread saying WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY DESIGN and the most recent comment is from you, I open it immediately and sit down with some popcorn because I appreciate your no-bullshit-ness, despite sometimes wanting to hug the other person and share my popcorn with them because they will never know how exasperating it is to try and answer such a broad, gaping question as WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY DESIGN. That being said, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not-- but yes. We do have lots of fun at work :)

pyr4lis
pyr4lis profile pic Alumni

I'd like to suggest Betsy's Badass Bike Shop!

mike bautista
mike bautista profile pic Alumni

Christ Gang B|

I keep thinking totes are a part of totes pregos services. like maybe it's a trade-in deal or something.

mike bautista
mike bautista profile pic Alumni

"I really want a tote, but all I have to trade is this unborn baby."

taz-pie
redhandedjillian said:
taz-pie said:

You guys must have SUCH fun at work! :D

Taz-- Whenever I see a thread saying WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY DESIGN and the most recent comment is from you, I open it immediately and sit down with some popcorn because I appreciate your no-bullshit-ness, despite sometimes wanting to hug the other person and share my popcorn with them because they will never know how exasperating it is to try and answer such a broad, gaping question as WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY DESIGN. That being said, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not-- but yes. We do have lots of fun at work :)

no lies. i seriously have dreamt that i was banned from threadless for being mean to the talentless noobs! i had that dream the other day and woke up like noooooooooooooo. anyway. i won't stop being honest. someobody's gotta tell them they aren't a special snowflake, haha! :P

gosh i wish i could come work for threadless. just for a day.

jesshanebury
jesshanebury profile pic Staff
iPear said:

I kind of want to write yelp reviews for these the next time I'm bored.

YES!!!! yelp reviews for these in the threaddies!

[+duracell-]

We need a street address for this MF Cheese Shop to make it legit. Else, yelp might question my credibility and filter out some of my other reviews.

taz-pie

please please please do totes pregos

VVVarun

The "Paint some pants on" shoppe- walk in naked, walk out exploited

Abstract Matter

No dad, that's not how they do pants!

VVVarun

So that's why I got fired last week

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni

This week's logo update brought to you by my brilliant, 4 year old niece. This was her idea, not mine.

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
taz-pie said:

please please please do totes pregos

Still trying to find a tasteful way to do this. It's possible. I'm sure of it.

campkatie
campkatie profile pic Alumni

you can do it!!!!!

karaed
karaed profile pic Staff

Why does it have to be tasteful?

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
karaed said:

Why does it have to be tasteful?

good point. ONWARD!

fightstacy
fightstacy profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

Gimme that Dismembers only Threadless, ...PLEADSE!

taz-pie

cat house is FABULOUS

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
iPear said:

Imagine a record store that only sold dad music. It would be called Carl's Records, because all dads are named Carl.

alexmdc
alexmdc profile pic Staff
2 designs submitted - Score now!

hahaha awesome!

taz-pie

i fcuking love carl's records. what a dad.

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni

My name is Carl for sure. Love the design.

Twiggyhall

This blog is a happy-maker :)

squintygirl

Carl's Records made me realol. The coffee I was drinking took a detour out of my nose and is now all over my desk. Thanks, internet!

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
squintygirl said:

Carl's Records made me realol. The coffee I was drinking took a detour out of my nose and is now all over my desk. Thanks, internet!

"You're welcome." -internet

but seriously thank you.

FoodStampDavis
FoodStampDavis profile pic Alumni

If Carl's Records doesn't get printed:

A) There's no fucking justice. Life is a withered husk of a bad joke and I will start acting accordingly.

B) Make it available SOMEWHERE so I can have it on my body.

Omair

SCOREDOWN! That's a home run to the superbowel!

FoodStampDavis
FoodStampDavis profile pic Alumni

Carl's also reminds me of a dream a friend and I have to own a dive bar and have a "Sad Dad's Karaoke Night." Just a bunch of divorced dad's trying to show they're still "with it." They're up there singing Foreigner and Cheap Trick in their tucked-in polo shirts and jean shorts, eyes closed, wedding ring tan line still on their fingers. Fuckin' sad dads are the best.

Omair

That's a pretty promising venture, dude! Thursdays can be dad trivia nights hosted by an Alan Thicke lookalike.

What if every hip city had an area for dad activities? Like Dadhouse casino and Delicatessen, Power Tools Museum or something.

There should be dad group for sad dads to socialize with other dads. They could meetup and go wine tasting or something. They could go shopping together for those Sandals with the straps on the back that every dad wears. Each dad wears a red visor cap, and it's like Sisterhood of Yaya or one of those other old lady movies about camaraderie. They could also go to the Casino/Deli and learn about the history of Power Tools together.

FoodStampDavis
FoodStampDavis profile pic Alumni

My god... a Dadstopia! Okay, let's build it. You and me. We'll make so much dadcash.

We just can't let anyone else steal the idea. NOBODY ELSE READ THIS!

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni
iPear said:

They could go shopping together for those Sandals with the straps on the back that every dad wears.

I hate to rain on your parade but my dad refuses to wear any other footwear besides boots with a reinforced toe. Sandals, obviously, are OUT.

fightstacy
fightstacy profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

The dads that I work with all pay money toward a dad pad in the city, ..its full of vidya games, cool audio, large tvs and la-z-barcaloungers. ..kinda like a timeshare for naughty dads.

merkinspurlock
merkinspurlock profile pic Alumni

From now on I'm only subbing dad-related shirts. Dad Pad is next.

fightstacy
fightstacy profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

It almost makes me want to fart a baby through a girl so I can be part of this bad dad valhalla

Omair
foodstampdavis said:

My god... a Dadstopia! Okay, let's build it. You and me. We'll make so much dadcash.

We just can't let anyone else steal the idea. NOBODY ELSE READ THIS!

Until the sun stops shining down on our bald dad heads (because it has exploded), and until the coarsest whiskers of our dad staches wither away, we will never forget the one thing; For love, never for money. We build the Papas Republic of Dadstopia on this moral pillar.

For we must be sturdy like the fabric of our Wrangler brand Jean shorts. We must be flexible like the standard variety garden hose. We must be righteous like the Toolman Taylor.

redhandedjillian said:

I hate to rain on your parade but my dad refuses to wear any other footwear besides boots with a reinforced toe. Sandals, obviously, are OUT.

You can still have a parade in the rain. It's called using umbrellas. B|

Besides, dad's come in all sorts of flavors. Some are the boots types, some are sandals with socks types, some are loafers with faded jeans types. We can coexist (imagine that one bumper sticker where the letters are replaced with religious symbols, like the snake eating it's own tail, and the upside down star made out of fire, and the blood pendant of the Broodking Sarnac)

Omair

oh dang, formatting ;|

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