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I need criticism and suggestions

my submission "The mummy jumper" was declined.
I would describe this character, he's a mummy, the mummy awakened from death and jumping. bit creepy but he was friendly. I sent this design to the theme MONSTER
but rejected.
please help me find what I need to fix, which is one of the design me.
I am grateful for your comments and!

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Poeha profile pic Alumni

I don't think people are able to give good criticism without seeing the mummy :)

Mantichore profile pic Alumni

There you go: You can try to give it more shadow/higlights to create more depth in your design Also i doesn't look very "Monster"-y to me, give her tentacles, or wings or a huge mouth, something scary/ugly/weird. And if it's a mummy that awakened from death, why not add a tomb, or a sarcophagus to create a more interesting scene.

Ryder profile pic Alumni

yeah i can't tell what it is really... looks like some sort of Sailor Moon thing... and that eyeball is really throwing me off, i keep thinking it's "her" nose and she's looking to the side....I don't get the sense of this character being a mummy at all. it looks more like a ballerina or something, especially with those little bows on the shoes...

i don't think you have a strong enough concept here.


thanks to manthicore thanks to Ryder Revolution


Can't really tell it's a mummy. Looks like a chic just outta the gym. It definitely does not give off a monster vibe too. The way you described the character doesn't really say anything interesting to me at all. Sorry. Maybe you can give an idea of more of what you had in mind for this design? If you're going with a mummy as your monster, you should have the wrappings be a bit more irregular instead of just horizontal lines. Also, a couple loose wrappings. A bit of the tomb.


thanks i will be trying again


just try something else entirely.

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