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Newbie asks for critique

Hi guys, this is my very first design. Please tell me what do you think about it.Thanks! :)


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Sam MacGregor

I think the presentation is very well done, but I think the idea could use a few more elements. I would singe the guys hands, maybe give him a facial expression as well. Plus I would fill the scene with some more human like figure gathered around with facial expressions of "What the hell this guys is doing?"

Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 profile pic Alumni

My first thought: why is the mannequin building a fire? Second thought: what's it using for an oil drum? Everything in the scene has to make sense somehow, and the concept should be unambiguous.

mniejszaztym

well, the idea was that the wooden mannequin tries to get warm (and this oil drum was supposed to look like one that homeless people use to get warm, in movies mostly, i guess), so that he will soon burn himself, since he's made of wood. risky thing. but apparently it didn't come out very well. thank you for your opinions :)

justang8

Right. maybe give a facial expression would be good. :)

Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 profile pic Alumni

Artists' mannequins are usually fairly small, so the oil drum should be something similar sized: e.g. a film canister, a mug, or a coffee can. That way it makes sense internally. You could also add some sense of coldness to the background (e.g. a drafting table and other art supplies covered in snow), to reinforce the reason the dummy is warming itself.

mniejszaztym

Thank you sooo much! These ideas are really great, I will surely use them :)

HandsomeJake

Perhaps your idea might come across better if the figure was already catching fire (smoldering hands or something).

0ana

Creative and original, but agree with the others, something's missing. If the dummy has a tattoo, why not some facial expression too? Some more interaction between the dummy and the fire would be nice, like HandsomeJake said; on the other hand I think making the dummy sleep near the fire could be more dramatic.

mute553

i honestly don't understand the concept but the design looks a little plain may you should but some buildings in the background like an alley for example. btw i have a design thats up for scoring its called mike isn't a fruit tell me what you think. let me know when you submit this design to cuz i like it.

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