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Ice Cream

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michaellaw86

I have tried submitting this but it got rejected so i was wondering if anyone sees any problem or issue that needs to be fixed... i have checked threadless and didn't find anything even close to this and i assure you this is an original idea. I might work on the hand thoughrnrnPlease help any an all comments would be awesome I would really like to see this design get printed.

michaellaw86

I have made one other adjustment to this and that is to make the pink scoop on top have her hand waving and out to the left and i gave her pupils. The only thing is i like this better cuz it doesn't make sense for the red scoop to get angry over the other just being happy. Any thoughts?

brittney.jh

I really really like the idea. Very cool! Make the pink ice-cream cone (by the angry one) have an O shaped mouth and have one of her eyes squinting. Maybe have the red and brown one on an angle. And the brown one could be showing both his eyes.

The finger feels there might be no bone to it. And I personally feel the blue one does not need arms.

Like this: Sorry if this link doesn't work

Please comment on and rate my design

Gracemad

the hand doesnt go! try to remove it :) .. rest is very fun!

silverhare
silverhare profile pic Alumni

I agree on trying it without the hand to see how it looks. The other issue I see with this one is that it doesn't read terribly well from a distance. All the different scoops (except the blue one) kind of blur together into one splotchy blob. Here are some things you could try if they suit your fancy: a) Move the white scoop to an off-center position. Right now he really arrests your attention and you have to purposefully move your eyes off him to find and enjoy the other scoops. b)make their hands like drips. Looking around the image requires a few brain-jumps, because when you look at red scoop or grinning pink scoop they appear to have cute little kirby-type wings. Then you look at the kissy scoops and scaredy scoop, and you see that they can develop long wiggly anthro arms. Then you realize that pink is giving bunny ears, and blue does not in fact have a hand resting on pink's head - he's relaxin' on his. In my opinion, that's a lot of processing that gets in the way of the humor. (Good humor! Ha!) c) right now the top three scoops generally read as behind instead of on top. It's not a big deal, but something to look at. d) Make the lines on the waffle cone look more organic. Right now our brain tells us that they are the pattern on the cone because that's what we've been taught to see when we see crisscrosses like that, but they don't really follow the organic curve of the cone. You might also (or instead) try them in a color other than black. I am by no means suggesting that you try all these things. It's just potential issues I see. Naturally, everything I said here is also just my opinion.

Rick Henkel

If you keep the hand, the index finger needs more of a knuckle to it. Also, why not build up and very the lines in the hand instead of a consistent weight throughout. And the point of the cone should have a line thickness that matches the rest of the cone. I might play with a version of the art where you use lines to separate the scoops more.

Fun idea!

Rick Henkel

p.s. - thanks for your comments on my scary bovine design!

michaellaw86

Thanks for the help guys. i was so excited about the idea i guess i didn't properly take a look at it. I will consider each suggestion when remaking it.

-Unless i can fix it i might just remove the arms from the blue scoop. -I think it is a good idea to try moving the top 3 scoops so they look like they are more on top than behind. -I will try to fix the hand. I was thinking earlier when it got rejected to try to fix the lines. i honestly didn't see the problem with the finger so i will fix that too. -Also will show how it looks without the hand all together. -It will take a while to perfect but i can try to make scoops appear more round and give the brown scoop on the left 2 eyes. im thinking one eye smaller than the other to show the angle more.

  • ty everyone.
ratskyz

the idea is very cool but like was mentioned i would remove the hand

XYZchromosome

I love the idea id buy it myself
good luck with the editing

michaellaw86

Thanks again everyone.

michaellaw86

First i just wanna say i worked with the hand but after awhile it looked better without it. Worked some stuff out. Changed the face of the top pink scoop, the red scoop and the brown scoop on the left. Add a little something to give it that melting effect and made it look more like they are on top of each other. What do you think? I have worked on the cone as well but i have been thinking about replacing it maybe with a cup or bowl. Any thoughts?

pd23

this is awesome

with few amedments can be printed :)

  • the black stroke on the cone must go away to my opinion.
  • the colors of the flavors are cool but you need to be more alive
  • if you add more details in the eyes and faces
  • nuts / syrops and other top addings are optional but might give an awesome detail to the design
  • add some textured at the end

:) made so many comments because i belive it rocks and can be even better

Mikrobi

I think this is amazing, but the black outline of the cone should be changed

emilymariearellano

Love this! ButI agree, the outline of the cone is a bit too thick, and uneven, tone it down some and I think it will be perfect!

michaellaw86

Thanks everyone. i will take all of your suggestions into great consideration again thank you. :)

Explodeo

cool illustration. Only amendment I would make would be to the thickness of the black outline around the cone, just seem a little fat. other than that just submit.

thanks for the feedback.

flakdamage

I would add some lenses to the top figures glasses. Maybe dark green and some glint coming off of them. Maybe thin the black line on the cone. Thank you for the feedback on my submission.

bebluesky

haha....very funny~! I love their face. I think the bottom of the ice cream is a bit too sharp.

EddaThorusRex

I really like this. I agree with the comments that the black outline on the cone is a little thick, you can create the same impact without it. Also thought it might be funny if the brown one was about to fall out, giving him a reason to be scared. It might be interesting to see if you could make the black elements like the sunglasses and eyebrows and stuff made out of chocolate sauce, but you'd have to be pretty clever with it, so i'm not sure it'll work but I like the idea of it.

Good work though! It's a funny design and it's really close to submission!

Thanks for commenting on my design!

http://www.threadless.com/critique/106748/Vintage_Grapes

pixel-monkey

Great concept! Close but needs just a smidge more work like some of the things mentioned above. I think this could be a great tee though! Thanks for looking at my design!

leiojpc

I Like it, cool draw! I just would place it smaller on the tee... and try it that way with thick and thin outline on the cone and choose then!

shahidfwbd

Look good. Again make it smaller.

jesus_o

What about if the ass of the ice cream with the scared face was bitten/licked? I agree the outline of the cone is too thick and sharp at the bottom.

XYZchromosome

this is awesome but the black stroke on the cone is just bothering me

michaellaw86

Note taken on the cone outline. Also good idea on the bottom of it not being too sharp. I will fix it and possibly try something different with the cone like the cones you can have standing up on its own.

I can make it smaller on the tee, so i will fix that as well

beast56 - i like your idea bout the diff tee colours so i might just put them out there as options with charcoal as the main.

pd23 - all very nice points i will see what i can do and what works for me.

EddaThorusRex - that is a brilliant idea. with the brown one falling off. i love it and if i can make it work i will go with that Not sure about the chocolate sauce eyebrows. i did try adding sprinkles and maybe some texture to make it look less like just a solid colour, but it got too busy.

Thank you all for your comments. i really appreciate it :)

IllusiaX

Very cool. Great artwork and concept. I love how expressive the ice cream scoops are. I think you're ready to submit this.

Thanks for your comments on scare bear.

Rigg221

Maybe adding a soft highlight to the cone will give it a little more pop instead of the white lines that way it matches the ice cream colors. I like thinking of my ice cream this way lol Awsome idea!

sensimica

very nice and funny idea! i especially like their expressions, except the scared creme one and the angry red one.just not cute enough. be careful with the drops too..the pink drip that goes on the cone is too much of a straight line in my opinion.it should be more curvy, more organic. i know people have said this before, but i m gonna repeat it..lose the thick stroke from the cone.and if you could create another texture for it i think the design would be even greater.maybe use smaller squares.good job anyway! Could you score my design please?

bcarri2014

I love the concept. It's a pretty neat design, although you should lose the thick stroke from the cone. It looks awkward.

If you have time, can you check out my design? A Pepper That Happens to be a Doctor

AlonsoR

Looks good. I agree on the thick lines for the cone, besides that I would try making the lines a dark color similar to the shirt but not quite pure black.

Keep it up!

AlonsoR

Looks good. I agree on the thick lines for the cone, besides that I would try making the lines a dark color similar to the shirt but not quite pure black.

Keep it up!

mmoco

I didn't read all the comments. But in my opinion the the fat line on the cone is too much. Maybe personalize the different flavors better and keep the stroke value constant. And I think you should pick up livid basic colors, like yellow, green, red, blue, white, even if sounds like a olympic games logo ahah. And maybe this design fits better on a white t.shirt. good luck :)

By the way, could you take a look on this: Think with your Head

ehtongue

Very funny idea! In my opinion you need to work on your colours in order to look more ice-creamed, maybe if you dont use black for the outlines but a dark colour for each flavor, for example, if you use a dark blue as the outline instead of black.

And totally the cone needs more work, or even use another element.

I really like the concept! :D

AriesNamarie

Get rid of the dark outline and I think you're in business!

Woodrine

I think your design is too flat, it gives more volume.

If you have time please check out my design: Let's dance!

Thundermonkey

As others have said I'd rework the cone and make the colours of the ice cream much bolder I like the idea of making the outline of each ice cream a bolder version of the same colour. Nice idea though.

michaellaw86

So i worked on the eyes. Was going for a more cartoony look. Also wanna know how it looks with the option of adding toppings to the pink and light brown scoops. I have worked on the shades for the blue scoop, the brown scoop, and the cone.

michaellaw86

I'm not the best at shading but i have been working on something for the scoops to give it more depth. MY only problem is working with colour. I figure i could use black or the tee colour and change the opacity so it can act as a shadow, but i'm sure if that is allowed.... does that count as an extra colour?

michaellaw86

also trying to add some texture and or some shading to the cone.

bebluesky

Wow, I like it~!! the top part looks very good , and I think you should change the bottom, just that bar of the ice cream, maybe you should change the black color to chocolate color, the lines are too plain. anyway, i like this! Thank you for your critiques on my drawing~

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