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WIP / Oops..

WIP / Oops..



For the last few days I've been working on this (painful) design.
Before submitting it, I'd like to know what you think about it. Suggestions etc. are welcome :)


And another thing I could use your help with: a title!
Usually don't have trouble finding something I like, but I just can't come up with something more fitting than just 'Oops'. Any thoughts?


Thanks in advance,


Kim

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Wharton
Wharton profile pic Alumni

Aha! The WIP blog.

You've got a great illustration style going on. Like a Dutch Mrs Randyotter3000.

I think there could be a bit more mayhem going on. Perhaps the egg could be standing and looking embarrassed like it peed itself. Perhaps a horrified baby tomato looks at a big fat melon has crushed another tomato. I think there could be some more fun things happening in this scene.

Nice work!

nickv47
nickv47 profile pic Alumni

very nice work. i like the softness of your style. looks great to me!

cococosy

@Wharton Just looked at Randyotter3000's subs & prints. That's a huge compliment! Thank you. Guess you're right about the mayhem.. Had some trouble with creating more chaos. Tried things like a crushed bleeding tomato, broccoli with a broken branch and such. Anyways, your suggestions got me thinking :)

cococosy

@nickv47

thank you! It needs a little more work but still has to be soft, hehe :)

NCowick

I like it. Fun concept and characters. I agree with wharton. I also have a suggestion, but I sometimes overcomplicate a scene which would be better left simple. So in other words this suggestion may be completely worth you ignoring ;) What if off to the side, or in the background there was a second bag, still filled with groceries either looking shocked, or pointing and laughing at the scene before him? Just a thought. <del></del> Title could be something along the lines of "Bottom Dropped Out", or "Bottomed Out"?

cococosy

@NCowick Hey.. you're absolutely not over complicating things. Critiques like these are very helpful, thank you! The idea actually started out with one bag ripping it's behind and the other ones laughing: just like it happens n real life when the dryer shrunk someones pants.. ;)

I like Bottomed out as a title. Will keep it in mind!

spacesick
spacesick profile pic Alumni

super cute

Haragos
Haragos profile pic Alumni

Maybe the top part of the bag should be the opening and the bottom look more like a rip. I agree with the chaos.. make major damage to each of them.

Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 profile pic Alumni

yeah, i agree with some suggestion of a rip or tear to show that these characters fell out of the bag (if that's what you're implying). You want to make it completely clear, visually, why these characters are so unhappy.

skindapple

yep, super sweet soft style, keep that up for sure! definitely add more chaos and the bag is kind of unclear... great idea and work so far though!

Thomas Orrow
Thomas Orrow profile pic Alumni

My first impression was that it's super cute and likeable. I guess a little bit after I'm looking at it and thinking the scene doesn't quite add up-gravity wise, no rip on the bag etc.

Maybe it would be fun if he was crying. I have a bit of a penchant for tears on subs as it looks quite comical. Just my personal opinion though. Other people like rainbows, symbols, toilet jokes and silhouettes of kids on their tees.

Thomas Orrow
Thomas Orrow profile pic Alumni

I also meant to say that it's very clean-which is great, but it's too ambient. An ambient style like this would be cool for another concept.

agrimony
agrimony profile pic Alumni

looks good to me :)

d3d
d3d profile pic Alumni

cute. you should marry pilihp.

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

Looks like the potato is arse-fucking the carrot.

Bramish
Bramish profile pic Alumni

The times I've heard that

Thomas Orrow
Thomas Orrow profile pic Alumni

Yeah, I did wonder about that-it's like potato buggery..... although weirdly enough it still looks cute.

Maybe it's all good to go.....who knows. You might want to think it over and sub, as is or perhaps do a few alternate versions.

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

My serious critique would be to use some shading and add some shadows to everything - I think it really lacks depth currently.

spacesick
spacesick profile pic Alumni

maybe a crease on the inside corner of the bag could make it look more three-dimensional and help better show what's going on?

soloyo
soloyo profile pic Alumni

a rip on the bag is the way to go, might even look as if the bag couldn't hold it and poop all the vegetables on the floor.

BlindedByFate

Part of me thinks there should be a whole carton of eggs and maybe a dint can, and maybe some spilled milk but that may make it look to busy. Hope this helps some.

cococosy

Thanks everyone! Your comments are really helpful. It needs more drama, and the action itself needs to be clearer: a rip in the bag!

Going to use red instead of green (max. colors used ;) ). Currently drawing a tomato crushed by a cauliflower.

@d3d Piliph who?

@Thomas_Orrow Haha! Tears are definitely something to consider :D I guess I would cry too if my clumsiness would cause disaster.

@staffell Oh god.. I hoped no-one would notice. Although it wasn't meant to be that.. Keep it? Also understand your shadow critique. I never really work that much with shadow, most of the times with a darker or brighter (out)line to create some contrast. Maybe because I usually draw for letterpress purposes = mono or duo color. Nevertheless something to try :)

@Bramish I'm not sure how often you hear people talk about pervert potatoes, I sure as hell don't. ;)

@spacesick yes, good idea :)

@soloyo Hahaha! This was one of the initial ideas! Couldn't figure out what should leak/drop out of it's butt without it being too gross and sending the wrong message..

@blindedbyfate yeah, this helps :) thought about spilt milk but would probably be too much. More eggs is a good idea..

cococosy

Working on: tomato crushed by cauliflower, potatoe gets dirty (not molesting the carrot anymore), sad witloof, traumatized little tomatoes..

In the mean time, the Sesame Street challenge is finally -open- for scoring. Submitted this..

Any thoughts?

cococosy

Ok, next version.. no shadows (yet)

cococosy

ok,and now in the right size..

cococosy

Thank you @IamCid, compliment on color use is always nice. :)

loorrrd

Love your colour palette! Love your style, simply cute. Maybe you could add the "back" part of the paper bag?

On the onion, try to darken the inside part where he got 'busted' so as to make it look like something really fell. Not really sure of this.

Can't say much for now. I feel like there's still something missing but I can't figure it out yet. I'll wait for the next update :)

cococosy

Good critique! I'm trying to make a back for the bag as we speak. Struggling a little, since I want it too be subtle.. and the fact you see an onion instead of garlic says enough :)

Thinking about doing something with some shadow, or something vague in the background.. let me know if you figured it out, hehe.

Wharton
Wharton profile pic Alumni

Looking good Miss Cosy. Definitely more mayhem going on.

It took me a little while to figure out the cauliflower (I thought something was exploding, sorry). Perhaps you could try a halftone shadow to add some depth. I think eggs are great characters, to use, I really like the cracked one. Perhaps you could have a carton of milk and something is 'crying over spilt milk'. Some 'x' out eyes could be good to infer dead characters. The style is great, I think you're on to a winner!

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

That is clearly a garlic, not an onion. Wtf...

Also, the egg on the right looks like he's wearing the cauliflower for a hat, and what on earth is that thing in the middle with the two red things on it? (tomato?) looks like an embryo or something.

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

My final critique would be that the tear in the bag looks unnatural. Perspectively, the tear shouldn't just go straight down like that, but at an angle...if you know what I mean?

Thomas Orrow
Thomas Orrow profile pic Alumni

Yeah, cute garlic.

I like the potato, eggs, garlic and mushroom. The other stuff on the right hand side-I have no idea what that is???

A white artichoke and two cherries and an exploding foetus, anyway not sure about that side, but the rest is looking awesome.

I also agree with loorrrd about the inside rip thing. You could show the inside of the bag quite easily.

Good luck!

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

Oh, is that an artichoke?

loorrrd

oh yeah. I meant garlic! I SAW GARLIC!!!!

BlindedByFate

The things I'm liking so far is the garlic, the egg, and the mushroom. The rip looks kinda big to me, I feel like if it was that wide at the start of the rip the bag would be ripped in half (if that makes much sense). I also think you have too many vegetables need to mix it up some and that should help. Also one more thing I notice was the bags eyes it looks like he's looking up when I feel he should be looking down. Hope this help some. Keep up the good work! :)

cococosy

Hi all, thanks for the (very) useful comments, again :)

this is the result:

What do you think?

A few interpretations of certain veggies made me laugh so hard! That's one of the things that makes a WIP post helpful. Oh and.. in 2nd picture.. the white/yellow stuff with the two red things on top: it's witloof & two tomatoes. ;) as you can see, they didn't make the cut.

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

Looking better now, though I'm not a fan of the huge puddle of milk, sorry! :)

cococosy

No need to say sorry! I'm just glad you speak your mind.

I made the puddle this way so it would -sort of- have the feeling the bag pissed itself, haha :)

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

:) I'm glad you are an artist that can take criticism - too many can't.

loorrrd

Love how the milk bottle looks!

Some things you can add (You don't need to btw, just suggestions)

  1. A baguette, maybe have him cut into two or he got stabbed by a bread knife.
  2. A chocolate chip cookie so terrified that the chocolate chips fell out of his body. (haha, not exactly the greatest idea.)
  3. A peeled off banana.
staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

I think those things just complicate it to be honest^

I'm pretty sure the design is just about a load of groceries that have fallen out the arse-end of a paper bag, and so adding any of the things you've listed just complicates the concept.

a wild thing
a wild thing profile pic Alumni

also not a fan of the milk. it's so bright that is distracts from the awesomely drawn out food characters. i also think the perspective of it is a bit off. maybe instead of milk, you give the items shadows to help ground them? and maybe one more color, something that pops, like red? like a smushed tomato? love the concept, love the style! keep at it!

cococosy

This version has a little less milk. Not sure if I'm liking it better then the last version..

cococosy

@a_wild_thing hi, didn't see your comment before posting the 2nd milk-version! I'm going to add the finishing touches when the design itself it's finished. Like ehm.. don't know how to translate this correctly.. movement in the milk, where the veggies touch it. Thanks for the compliment; your criqitue is also much appreciated :)

staffell
staffell profile pic Alumni

Ripples :)

Wharton
Wharton profile pic Alumni

Hello Miss Cosy. I really like the way this is going. I think perhaps there are too few characters, but thats just a personal taste. The milk bottle rim seems a bit odd to me there should be more rim and less milk. Otherwise this is looking prachtig!

I think you could spend forever in a WIP blog, and while there are some good suggestions its up to you in the end. Good luck!

cococosy

@staffell & loorrrd

Loorrrd, I like your suggestions but.. adding more didn't create the chaos I wanted, it was just too much (the version w/o milk) :)

Staffell, About the criticism.. I saw some whining about critique here & there on the forum, but it's mostly coming from people that aren't even a little bit good or are way in over their head playing the artist. ;) I'm still learning and designs like these take SO much time to make.. another one's view is so helpful!

cococosy

@wharton prachtig :'D haaa! Dankjewel, meneer Wharton.

Yup.. it's coming to something more final now. This WIP thing is awesome: I've learned so much. Not everything is useful, but a lot of it, is. Think it's just little changes here & there now.

The milk bottle rim, is based on a more classic glass milk bottle :) do you mean there's too much milk below the bag?

Wharton
Wharton profile pic Alumni

What I mean about the rim is that the milk should only be on the bottom edge of the rim. From this angle the you would see almost all of the bottle rim and only a little milk flowing over the rim. Does that make sense?

U bent welkom

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