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Bread Jump

  • by txz6
  • posted Feb 11, 2012
  • 72 Comments

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txz6

The Design shows a bread jumping happily out of a toaster, with a new tan.

TheBro

I like the pastel colors but maybe make the toast darker, and well, toastier. Also make it look more like he is in motion. I really like the concept just add some darkness and motion attributes, check out mine? http://www.threadless.com/critique/99508/RainbowTie

Jordan_Bender
Jordan_Bender profile pic Alumni
5 designs submitted - Score now!

I like the idea of it. I agree with the above. Maybe make him a little darker, and maybe show some "untoasted" bread sort of laying casual on the side, waiting? Cute though.

Mine? link text

ifni

Hey thanks for the feedback you gave me on my design.

On yours, i suggest you redo the depth lines on the toaster lever and slots - they don't seem to be on the right line with each other. I like the isometric view but i think you have a few small perspective issues.

Other than that, it's a fun concept it just needs a little tweaking :)

Matthew Watters

Love it! Wouldn't change a thing. Strike that... I might create more of a contrast with the bread crust. Maybe some sesame seeds or something of that nature. Really that's just nitpicking so I'd submit this for sure. Good luck and thanks for your critique!

Javman

yay!!!! maybe he should have a tan!!!! (or a tan line)

I Have a design up for voting, please check it out! It's Zelda Inspired! Don't mess with the chickens

elodyg

i agree with the others, more of a tan and maybe an untanned one waiting in line for contrast to get the concept across. very cute though, i like it!

Parthor

I like it as it is. Love the colors. But is the bread guys right arm attached at it's back?

agehawk

I agree with the others also on the most part. Definitely fix the arm. You could fix the toaster slots, but not necessarily the lever. It sort of looks cool being a little off like that. It is a cartoon after all. Really nicely done apart from those minor points. I like the look on the toast's face. :)

TheGloriousEnd

I'd have to agree about making the toast a bit darker. and maybe the t-shirt a shade lighter? Really nice concept though! With a little work I'm sure I'll get through.,

Christian223

I think the top right corner of the toaster is too pointy, and it distracts from the main subject, make it more curved.

Maybe make the eye lines of the bread thicker? they seem too thin compared to the line weight of the rest.

Also try adding some texture to the bread, like little dots.

Nice concept!.

doctorcd5

Ya I love it, only I think the bread could use a bit more color if thats what you were going for, he looks a little pale currently, but overall great idea. If you'd like to look at mine

hdroser1014

i agree about the tan lines and another piece of bread waiting--i really like it!

izzyrb

Thanks for commenting my design! I think you should add some toasty like marks to the bread but other than that it's great!

txz6

Hi: Based on your comments, I have worked on my design and made some changes, which are: Added speed and motion lines, added sesame seeds, fixed left arm, worked on toaster leaver and made bread darker with a more contrasting tan line around the face.

Please let me know your opinion on these changes and on the design to see if it is going on the right direction. All comments are welcome and appretiated.

Thank You

kristdreams

this is looking good.. i think its ready...

if you have time please comment on mine..

Don't Blink

erlangga0

Add some highlights. I love your idea.

agehawk

I'd say this is good to go. You've fixed up the points people suggested quite well.

I still think that face is real funny too. :)

Still-Life78

Like the first version best (But with the arm fix... simple and clean

saxyttugal

Cute! The only thing I might add is a couple of white lines at an angle (//) on the toaster to add some shine

BRB

coryduran

I'm liking this version a lot. Saxy might be onto something with the shine, but I think it looks really good as it is, and that might be doing too much. Sweet desigh man.

Parthor

Arges with above.

Parthor

Arges=agree

hdroser1014

Super cute! i think it's good to go :)

mtaylor2118

Love it! very cute, and I think it looks ready.

mtaylor2118

Love it! very cute, and I think it looks ready.

Christian223

Some grain or dots on the face of the bread would make it look better imo, coming along nice!.

m.camy

i like the simplicity, it's nicely done. i think it's ready!

doctorcd5

I like this a lot more! Nice definition on the crust and darker colors make it wonderful!

drabjohn
drabjohn profile pic Alumni

Funny concept. I don't think the tiny motion lines are necessary. They disrupt the clean simplicity of the overall design. The shirt placement is quite large. It may read as more comical were it less "in your face". Lastly, because the design is so simple and clean, little differences become noticeable; such as the eyes being different shapes and not centered over the mouth. I would tighten things up a little before final submission.

Matthew Watters

Oh man.... I really think that made a difference. Great job buddy!

Jordan_Bender
Jordan_Bender profile pic Alumni
5 designs submitted - Score now!

Looks a lot better. I agree I don't think lines are needed. Looks good on brown. :)

MURDER v2

JLK

Fun and cute! Maybe add some highlights or shading to toaster but even if not, still good to go! Love it.

irish_king_donut

Great concept. I would buy it as is. Simple yet energetic.

kahly

add shading and good to go

alsatiandarn

Thanks for your feedback on my design. I think yours is great the way it is, nice job!

mortotem

this design looks ready for submission! i'd buy this shirt for my girlfriend.

mackthreads

hi it looks Cute & eye catching i would suggest u can add some text or a single letter with some effect... like i dnt know could be Popup Toast!...or anything:)

& Guys... Plz also put ur valuable commnets on my design.. need ur help a lot! Angel Fallen.. thanks:)

Transluceo

very cute - would be perfect for my niece... I agree with adding shine to the toaster and maybe reducing the size down just a tad.

villegasj027

I like the conceptual illustration of bread jumping out of the toaster for hot, cool

ifni

That perspective looks much better - looks finished to me :)

viograpiks

i think this is ready.. good job!

If you have time, please critique my design Giraffiti

valentina34

id buy it if you have time could you please critique mine

txz6

Thank you all for your usefull comments, I have decided to go for it with this version, wish me luck, and I would appretiate if you would score my T. Again thank you all very much

txz6

Here is the link where you can score th design

txz6
txz6

Sorry, the link is not ready yet, I will let you know

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