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the what if blog

choice of apocalypse: zombies or killer robots or natural disaster?
would you rather transition slowly to a creature of the night or slip into dementia at the same rate?
worst case scenario post death: waking up a robot or waking up on a space ship?


and others, go...

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rossmat8

Do the zombies turn you into a zombie or just kill you?

rossmat8

Ok then robots

Dinosaurs

lol of course they turn you.

KILLER ROBOT apocalpyse. they wouldn't half ass it and death would at their metal hands/claws would be a worthy death. being swept under currents or into the sky, or turning into mindless zombie guys would be a shitty death for sure. well. i suppose if the point is to live then i want one of the shitty things to happen cuz i want to live in not-total destruction because i want to be able to live in supermarkets and walmarts.

I would want to become a creature of the night, whether it be a vampire or a werewolf or whatever. not only cuz the change of pace would be refreshing but because slipping into dementia is probably way worse for your family members to watch.

waking up on a space ship is the worst of the two because where are you going?

rossmat8

Yeah I didn't answer the other two, but creature of the night and robot because nothing is scarier than a robot that knows it used to be human.

Would you rather have to eat the same food for a year, or never be allowed to eat your favorite food again?

courtney pie

I think the same, overall killer robots would be ideal. If it's zombies, a scratch can turn you (of course) unlike the killer robots. If it's natural disaster we're all effed.

It depends on the kind of vampire, werewolf. Shape shifter would be cool.

I think I'd be ok with being on the space ship. Cause I'd be alive.

d3d

all of those options sound awesome to me. i think i'd rather fight post apocalyptic zombies than robots though. depends how good and how tough the robots are. i'd rather be a creature of the night than demented. i think there's an equal chance of becoming either, but night creatures at least remember their adventures and have a will of their own, i assume. i'd rather wake up a robot than on a space ship i think. although maybe if the spaceship was heading somewhere awesome and needed me for breeding purposes i'd regret having a wangless robot chassis.

courtney pie

What is the food? Is it good food or a bad food?

toopersent

1) Robots. A quick death, probably like your neck being snapped or laser eye beam to the face.

2) Creature of the night. Dementia sounds terrible.

3) Waking up a robot. That would suck, especially if I was one of the robots that snapped my neck in #1. A space ship could take me to some wonderous new place. So what if there is a little anal probing?

toopersent

For the food thing, Ross, great question. I'd rather never eat my favorite food ever again. There a plenty of close seconds.

courtney pie

I forgot to say no to dementia

Robot would be okay but I don't like the idea of not needing food, I love food.

d3d

that's a loser attitude tooper. who wishes for a quick death? i'm going down fighting like a motherfucker, and cautiously optimistic that i'll survive and eradicate the zombie menace. i don't like food that much so i wouldn't miss it. i don't want to end up eating dog food like Mad Max, but i'm not too fussy.

courtney pie

If I survive the first wave, then I'm good to go on all accounts. But I feel that I'd have better odds with the robots. Even if I believe in zombies.

Also, I'd eat the same food for a year. Because I've done that before. Kung pow chicken is nomz.

Dinosaurs

Would you rather purchase a gun just in case a nightmare scenario like these play out or NOT have a gun just in case you breed and don't want murderer/murdered kids?

d3d

better odds against robots? really? what if they're solid titanium and can fly and shoot lasers and needles and uzis and shit? there's no easy kill with a robot. you can't just smash it's head with a hammer and be done. i'd rather face 100 zombies than one terminator.

Dinosaurs

i feel like we should all draw what robots we think we'd be up against

courtney pie

There are currently 5 shotguns in my room. They aren't mine, they're my uncles, and he hasn't taken them out yet. That said. I would consider buying a gun, because if I did breed (doubtful), I would have them safely tucked away and teach safety.

Yea, because if a robot scratches you you won't turn into a robot. If a zombie scratches you, you turn and/or your survivor buddies will kill you in a heartbeat. If you don't manage to hide it long enough for you to turn and kill them.

courtney pie

I'm thinking terminator robots. Plus, there's the whole hiding factor. Food is an issue either way.

Killer aliens with acid for blood or killer aliens on a hunting field trip?

courtney pie

Traditional slow zombies or crazed marathon runner zombies?

courtney pie

Anne Rice vampire or True Blood vampire?

Dinosaurs

hunting field trip aliens - inexperience is in our favor.

slow zombies! wtf are you thinking?

true blood! if i'm gonna bite people i wanna be able to bite werewolves and fairies too

courtney pie

I'm just sayin! I would hope for slow moving. Be toast if they were fast.

True Blood all the way.

While I am an Alien gal, I would prefer the hunting field trippers. Quick death, no gestating aliens in my body.

d3d

i'd take predators over aliens. aliens are just too fast and good at climbing and shit. regular slow zombies would be easy once you established a decent treehouse.

Ellsswhere
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couldnt disagree more, zombies of course, it would be a true test of survival if you could stay alive in a town full of the undead.

robots are too intelligent and would just blow up your damn house

on a side note though about the zombies, i think it has to be a virus that changes you so if you get fucked up but dont die thats when you turn into a zombie, not like the 28 days later zombies that bite someone and they immediately change, i never thought that made sense because they have no food if you change that quick

d3d

they don't need food. they're dead, they're not at risk of starving to death. the virus compels them to feed in order to spread itself.

pijaczaj

I thing one day we all be robots. It will be our immortality. We will learn to read our brain and than copy data to computer, to virtual world and to robots. I cannot wait 8)

Morkki

Zombie apocalypse fo sho. I want to see how many undead I can slay, bringing down robots is no fun.

I could be a creature of the night except I don't want to be a sparkly teen melodrama vampire. Fuck that shit! Whoever had the idea that immortal badass bloodsuckers would CARE about relationships needs a kick in the genitalia. I would be a Lost Boys vampire with the most awesome mullet in town. Although I don't want to live forever, that would be just boring. Also with werewolves there's the thing where you turn into a human without pants, awkwardtimes!

Isn't it only scientologists who wake up in a spaceship after death? The worst scenario would be to wake up as a brain in a jar.

Ellsswhere
3 designs submitted - Score now!

so then how long do zombies 'exist' in the state they are in until they 'die' again, without water a body will die in 3 days so the virus wouldn't have a suitable host, that would be a pretty short wait if you ask me

Ellsswhere
3 designs submitted - Score now!

i always just figured a zombie 'fed' to sustain its hosts body so it could survive itself, of course infecting and reproducing was a goal as well

Morkki

I don't think virus zombies aren't really dead in the first place anyway. Zombies that actually rise from the dead would last a few weeks tops, depending on conditions, before their muscles decay to nothing.

d3d

a zombie body lasts as long as it takes a corpse to disintegrate, depending strictly on environmental factors because no living thing including bacteria will eat infected flesh. bodies normally decompose as quickly as they do because bacteria eat them.
it could be a couple of years in a humid jungle, longer in a dry desert, or infinitely at the poles.

iPear

a monster coming through the toilet and eating my butt.

Ellsswhere
3 designs submitted - Score now!

it only ate your butt because it thought your butt was attacking its home

Morkki

hypnosnails

nasmo

Am I going to be the only one voting for natural disaster? See, it's not something that actively wants me dead. I just have to get out of the way of the tsunamis/meteors/firestorms, work on my scavenging skills, and I'm good to go.

Plus, it wouldn't be something we brought upon ourselves, like with robots. Being destroyed by one's own creation is just dripping with irony, and ironic apocalypses are the worst. I'd much rather my civilization be a victim of bad luck than serve as a cautionary tale.

courtney pie

In Night of the Living Dead, they ellude to a crashed satellite causing the dead to become undead.

In 28 Days/Weeks - they were infected with rage.

I do consider it a zombie movie, even if they're not traditional ones.

Idk that I have faith in myself to survive the first wave of zombie outbreak.. :( but I'm sure killer robots would whack me too.

jeffreyg
jeffreyg profile pic Staff

zombies because aaron and i would ripshit and survive

Ellsswhere
3 designs submitted - Score now!

im with you there nasmo... however it wouldnt be bad luck, its a natural cycle, its going to happen sooner or later

thats why i am building an ark in my backyard, but im leaving out most animals and using that space for hot ladies and video games

courtney pie

Also, I think it depends on the virus and what it does to 'reanimate the dead' or whatever...

Natural disaster would be hard because after everything settles, you have to fight people for supplies and things turn ugly :/

courtney pie

buys video game to secure spot

Ellsswhere
3 designs submitted - Score now!

dont worry courtney i already reserved your boarding pass, you can print it up at your local kinkos

just hope its not a zombie apocalypse during a natural disaster brought on by evil robots, the living dead floating around in the water just waiting to bite your face off with robots scanning the horizon for signs of life!

courtney pie

whew!

oh jeez! that'd be horrible. even more so if the killer robots were the ground army for an invading alien fleet.

d3d

how about a monkey apocalypse like in the upcoming Rise of The Planet of The Apes? i'm not sure i could kill monkeys. maybe if there was craploads of them to spare and they were really aggressive. i'd prefer to befriend them and be an honourary monkey though.

d3d

i'd take werewolf. i can relate to that lifestyle. vampires are all sneaky and manipulative and deliberate and self serving. they're the assholes of the supernatural fraternity. werewolves are just animals who wake up with regrets.

jet approves
  1. killer robots -- there's gotta be a way to get them with giant magnets or something
  2. creature of the night for sure
  3. robot. i'd be fucking awesome.
courtney pie

I would be most scared of monkeys. They are insane and mob you.

I like how you plotted that all out Khol. Remind me to be your neighbor when it hits the fan. We can protect each other.

If it were an Anne Rice vampire though? Then no thanks, that was too depressing. But if they're sexy then ok!

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