I feel like shit...

Things are just not going my way lately,

*Problems at work ( company shake down, with new bosses and new stupid rules )

*My kids growing up and not wanting to see my on the weekends anymore ( that hurts the most ) haven't spoke to my daughter in months ( short story I tried to help her, she is mad at me )

*Money is so tight this days ( was planning a vacation but it might not happen )

*The girl I like lives too far and I can hardly see her from time to time...

*Threadless ( well, you know; I won't bitch about that anymore )

*My mom is getting sick/old and am not in a position to help her :-( breaks my heart to see her on her way to work when I know she shouldn't be working anymore

  • I tried to keep busy doing the things I like but I just feel so empty inside

*Life it suck, sometimes it is so hard to keep going......

Watch this
Theo86 profile pic Alumni

keep going man!!! stay STRONG :) when things get tough there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.


i feel you Nestor.. You should just hold on man!

rodrigobhz profile pic Alumni

Chin up, dude. Those problems just make you stronger and stronger. And you know, we all love you :)


since you are a writer...enjoy this...from Anne Lamont's "Bird by Bird"...words to live by.

i"It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what's keeping things running right. We're bugs struggling in the river, brightly visible to the trout below. With that fact in mind, people like me make up all these rules to give us the illusion that we are in charge. I need to say to myself, they're not needed, hon. Just take in the buggy pleasures. Be kind to the others, grab the fleck of riverweed, notice how beautifully your bug legs scull."


Ha. Nice chart, Dan.

I'm sorry that things aren't going your way right now, Nestor, but you seem a positive sort of chap so I am sure things will be looking up soon.

aled profile pic Alumni

That's pretty amazing. I might have to put that on my wall.

aled profile pic Alumni

Also - I hope things get better for you soon, Nestor.

d3d profile pic Alumni

sorry to hear all that man. fingers crossed everything improves soon.

d3d profile pic Alumni

that chart is the Dalai Lama's philosophy isn't it? i'm sure i've heard him quote that.


we can relate to all that stuff man.hope it gets better for you

soloyo profile pic Alumni

Taht chart... my father used to lived by the principle... I won't go into details but let me assure you it didn't make his family ( us ) any good.

L-M-N-O-P profile pic Alumni

I'm being serious with this, so please don't take it that I'm joshin' you or something: sometimes the best medicine is to just breathe. I talk to a lady in the supplements section of the store I work at, and she said we all hold our breath when things start to get stressful or difficult. I've found with me this is true also: I took a step back and found that I get stressed over the tiniest thing, so when something big happens (like all of what you discussed), I'm close to mental/physical breakdown. I didn't think that breathing would actually help: how could something so trivial help at all? But I tried it, and I must tell you it makes a world of difference. Whenever I get stressed or upset or don't feel like getting up in the morning, I stop what I'm doing, close my eyes and just breathe (long breaths: in the nose, out the mouth) (don't close your eyes if your driving or operating machinery, though: that could be bad). I would encourage you to just try that. It sends oxygen and bloodflow to your brain, clearing your mind. All this may sound stupid, but it couldn't hurt.

The other thing I'd suggest is taking a step outside the situation (view the situation from the standpoint of an outsider). If you focus only on the situation in a negative light, you're bound to never get out of a slump (I've done it: I know it sucks to feel depressed). Looking at it from a different perspective could make all the difference. I don't want to make things worse by saying any of what I'm about to, but take it with a grain of salt: it's all meant to try to help you. From my standpoint, here's what I see:

  • I know that your family probably loves you very much; that's the thing with family: even though they may treat you like shit or act like they don't want to see you, deep down they still love you. I spent many years of my life trying to deny this fact, and it was a very dark time in my life. The best I can say is keep on keepin' on: it'll look up.

  • You've got a job: so many people in this country are out of work or struggling to find their next meal. I've talked to people who once had everything, but then the economy went to shit and they lost everything. I view my job every day as a chance to show my boss I deserve it, and with that goal, my work performance has improved, my co-workers get along with me better, and I enjoy work twice as much. I by no means love work all the time, but it helps to try to view it with optimism.

  • You've got a great personality/brains. You're one of the smartest/cleverest people here on the forums, so there's no doubt that you're at least 10X as awesome in real life. You're always very respectful, and even when you're in a 'bad' mood, you still retain almost complete control with your words. I struggle with that all the time, so it follows I respect you for that.

-You provide people with the spoiler alert each Friday: I don't know about you, but even this small act brightens up my day each week. It may seem like a simple thing, but as soon as each Friday rolls around, I'm eager and waiting for the next spoiler alert to come along. It's one of the highlights of my week. I know you go through a lot of work to put it together, and I (along with many here on Threadless) are more than grateful for the spoiler blogs to give us something fun to talk about/bash on/discuss. Don't ever think that your work goes unnoticed: it doesn't.

I won't force you to read any more of my blitherings, but know that I am a strong advocate against any kind of sorrow (I still struggle with depression every day), and if I can help in any way, I feel it's my duty to at least try. I don't know if any of the above words will help you in any way, but I hope they do. A good way to keep in a good mood (as a parting word) is to surround yourself with people you know like you/look up to you/respect you. Positive affirmation is key in getting me in a better state of mind, and it might do you some good too. It's worth a shot.

I hope that bloggers don't bash my rant TOO hard: I'm only trying to help you out. You're a cool guy, Nestor. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. God bless, and keep your chin up. This too shall pass. :)

GRANDR profile pic Alumni

Hold on, with the time... things will get better

Kookaberry profile pic Alumni

I don't know your particular kid situation, but part of the problem may be the fact that you don't live with their mother. A few years after my parents' divorce, I just got tired of hauling my shit back and forth. So I told my dad I was going to live with my mom full time while I was in high school/college. It wasn't anything personal in this case; my mom lived on the bus line and so I didn't have to pay for parking to go to school. In retrospect, it probably hurt my dad's feelings a bit, but kids are just inherently self-centered. At the time, it wouldn't have even dawned on me that my dad would want to see more of me. I always figured my parents took advantage of the time I was not at their houses to do stuff. Turns out they always missed my sis and I when we were gone. Who knew?


-You provide people with the spoiler alert each Friday: I don't know about you, but even this small act brightens up my day each week. It may seem like a simple thing, but as soon as each Friday rolls around, I'm eager and waiting for the next spoiler alert to come along. It's one of the highlights of my week. I know you go through a lot of work to put it together, and I (along with many here on Threadless) are more than grateful for the spoiler blogs to give us something fun to talk about/bash on/discuss. Don't ever think that your work goes unnoticed: it doesn't.

This, in spades. You're a good guy, things will work out soon.

Kookaberry profile pic Alumni

Also, crappy things seem to happen in groups. I know it's cliche, but this too shall pass. All of it.

pyr4lis profile pic Alumni

Sorry you're going through a rough patch! Hopefully it won't last. I can sympathize with some of it.

I don't know what happened with your daughter but having been in a similar situation with my dad back when I was in Middle/High School. He'd occasionally do stuff to try to help.. but what he thought was helping was not what I thought was help. The whole thing seemed at the time to my girly teenage brain as a bit "too little too late". But I didn't stop loving him. I just wanted nothing to do with him then. I was bitter. But we still talk once in awhile. Whatever the situation is she will get over it. The best thing I can think of is to just be there for her and not "help" unless she asks.. Unless she was doing something bad that required intervention then thats a whole other story.

But yeah.. things get rough.. and then they get better. I just try to not worry. The flow chart while being cheesy is definitely something to keep in mind. I try not to worry about what I can't control.. and if I can control it there's no reason to worry. :D

Chin up and take a deep breathe (another bit of great advice) and it'll get better! You're a nice guy and you're always brightening our days with your spoiler alert.. the good karma will come around to you eventually.


sending good thoughts your way. i hope things improve soon, in all categories up there.

the only thing you can do with your children is to show them that you love them and are always thinking of them, even if they are going through different stages in life. i'm pretty sure your daughter will, one day, realize that you tried to help her because you love her. we can only hope that she'll realize.

soloyo profile pic Alumni

Thanks so much boys and girls for all your kind words, I know that time will make things better ( and LMNOP, thanks breathing did help me make it thru the day ) but today it was just one of those days...difficult even to get out of bed. The thing with my daughter, well I know it has a lot to do with her age 19 years old, I guess I should have seen it coming but I miss her a lot, she is a good girl, just too much like her old man I guess. Thanks for taking the time to read and write a response, sorry about my sad blog but I have not been feeling so happy for a while now, I guess today sadness just kind of took over me in a big way.


we all have our shit days, dude. no need for you to apologize!

rossmat8 profile pic Alumni

Just keep doing stuff that makes you happy. As cliche as it sounds, the more you start to focus on other people, the less you do for yourself. If you can get away with taking a day off from work, take one off and go see your daughter. I don't know anything about the situation, but I'm sure whatever you are arguing about shouldn't be serious enough to keep you from being able to see one another.



I love you, man. Take comfort knowing that things have to balance out. Everything may be shit now -- but that just means the cosmos owes you something totally awesome later.

FRICKINAWESOME profile pic Alumni

Dude, SO sorry to hear about all your troubles! We love you here and many others love you over there in the real world of Chi-town. I'm sure your kids will want to hang with you again and will appreciate you again completely a little later in life, they're just going through their independant, "whatever our parents do is lame" phases which will surely pass. You are an amazing individual and so full of slogan/collab talent I can't stand it! And as many have mentioned, thanks for the continued Spoiler Alert every week, we all appreciate it and feel the human touch and love you devote to it each week...a scoreboard of names robotically announcing next week's printed people will never be able to replace what you do!

speakerine profile pic Alumni

Oh.. I send you all my support.. Thanks for ALL what you do for our community, you're awesome. Good luck for all

soloyo profile pic Alumni

Ross, I have tried that approach but it did not work, all I can do now is wait for time to take its course, like I said; I know she is just going thru a phase but it still hurts like hell. I keep hoping things will turn around but it is just taking too long...

CazKing profile pic Alumni

aw Nestor if I wasn't on the other side of the world I would give you a big hug! I only know you thru threadless and what I do know is that you are a lovely guy and I really hope things pick up for you soon.

sending positive energy your way! x


I'm really sorry to hear about all your problems Nestor, I hope things start looking up soon. You're such a lovely guy.

reags profile pic Alumni

You're awesome Nestor, hang in there bro - you WILL see a brighter day!

Santo76 profile pic Alumni

Damn... it's so sad to hear that from such an awesome person like you.

Amigo, sabes que puedes contar conmigo para lo que sea... a pesar de la distancia se lo buena persona que eres, y si en algún momento necesitas alguien con quién charlar... sabes donde encontrarme.


soloyo profile pic Alumni

Thanks guys, Santo muchas gracias a veces ayuda mucho el conversar

Yaah, love that movie, but Dad gets kills at the end :-(

YaaH profile pic Alumni

But the most beautyful thing remain forever. This is what I mean. Just keep doing the good thing. The result will be always nice ;D


I feel like shit...

...warm and squishy?


aww Nestor :(

Keep your head up babe. You're too good of a person to have to feel this way. I can tell you that things with your kids will get better. Please come out with me tonight or next weekend. Get your mind off of things. Love you boo.

Retroludo profile pic Alumni

Sorry to hear things aren't headed in the direction you'd like them to go, I hope they won't stay like that for long. You always are so gracious about supporting others so you should know we support you in kind.

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