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I WON THE MONOPOLY GAME AT MCDONALD'S

BROS, A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WENT OVER TO KENNY'S TO DRINK SOME PBRS. STANDARD PROCEDURE... WE DRINK A SIX PACK EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND THEN GO TO THE LOCAL BAR AFTER THAT FOR THE FUCKIN' WEDNESDAY NIGHT DRINK SPECIALS. IT'S WIN WIN.


ANYWAY, WHEN I WAS AT KENNY'S, I WENT TO CHUCK AN EMPTY CAN IN THE TRASH AND I NOTICED ALL THESE EMPTY MCDONALD'S FRIES THINGS IN THERE. I TURNED TO KENNY AND I WAS ALL, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, BRO? DON'T YOU PLAY THE MOTHERFUCKIN' MONOPOLY GAME? YOU WIN FREE PRIZES AND SHIT."


SEE, KENNY JUST EATS THE FUCKIN' FRIES AND DOESN'T PEEL OFF THE GAME PIECES. ANYWAY, THERE WERE THREE FRIES THINGS IN THERE SO I GRABBED 'EM ALL AND PULLED OFF THE PIECES. KENNY JUST SAT THERE DRINKIN' HIS PBR, BUT THEN I WALKED UP TO HIM AND I WAS ALL, "BRO, YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST FUCKIN' MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE." THEN I SHOWED HIM A WINNING GAME PIECE FOR A FREE FUCKIN' MEDIUM FRIES. KENNY SPIT HALF HIS BEER OUT WHEN HE SAW IT AND TRIED TO WRESTLE THE GAME PIECE FROM ME. HE WAS ALL, " THAT'S MINE, FIRESTORM!" AND I WAS ALL, " FUCK YOU, BRO! YOU THREW IT AWAY."


ANYWAY, A COUPLE DAYS LATER, I WENT TO MCDONALDS AFTER WORK. PARKED MY CAR AND WENT INSIDE. I SLAMMED THE GAME PIECE ON THE COUNTER AND I WAS ALL, "READ IT AND WEEP, BRO." THE DUDE BEHIND THE COUNTER LOOKED AT THE PIECE AND WAS ALL, "SORRY, SIR. THE MONOPOLY GAME IS OVER." I WAS ALL, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BRO? I WON FREE FUCKIN' FRENCH FRIES." THEN HE WAS ALL, "YOUR GAME PIECE IS EXPIRED. NOW, IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY MONOPOLY HERE AT MCDONALD'S YOU NEED TO PLAY BY THE RULES. SO YOU CAN EITHER PURCHASE THE MEDIUM FRIES, OR TAKE A RIDE ON THE READING."


THAT'S WHEN I LEAPED OVER THE COUNTER, GRABBED THE DUDE BY THE NECK AND MARCHED HIM OVER TO THE DEEP FRIER. I PUSHED HIS HEAD DOWN JUST INCHES AWAY FROM THE BOILING OIL AND I WAS ALL, "GIVE ME THE FUCKIN' FRIES, BRO." TWO WORKERS QUICKLY RAN OVER AND FILLED UP A BIG PAPER BAG WITH FRIES AND HANDED IT TO ME. THE WHOLE PLACE WAS SILENT. AS I LEAPED BACK OVER THE COUNTER, I STUFFED SOME FRIES IM MY MOUTH, POINTED AT THE PETRIFIED MANAGER AND I WAS ALL, "DO NOT PASS GO, BRO."


ON THE WAY OUT TO THE PARKING LOT, SOME CHICK WHO WORKED AT MCDONALD'S RAN OUT AFTER ME. SHE WAS ALL, "YOU WERE AMAZING IN THERE. MY MANAGER IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE." FLASH FORWARD FIVE MINUTES LATER AND I'M DRIVIN' MY TRANS-AM HOME, SHOVIN' FRENCH FRIES IN MY FACE AND GETTIN' A KNOBJOB AT THE SAME TIME. THE MONOPOLY GAME AT MCDONALD'S IS SOLID, BROS! SOLID.

Watch this
Musarter

SWEET MEMOIR DUDE.

slaterock

are we in store for another Dick Firestorm design soon?

reags

, I STUFFED SOME FRIES IM MY MOUTH, POINTED AT THE PETRIFIED MANAGER AND I WAS ALL, "DO NOT PASS GO, BRO."

Got the lols on this one!

outline

tl:dr

ChrisDB

TRANS-AM! BOOM!

aled

SOLID!

V1ctorya

Wonderful! ha

Dinosaurs

haha, awesome

shirtflirt

I wanted to laugh but nothing funny happened this time. Maybe next time?

bcrider

Bahahahahahahaa

bcrider

tl;ra;li

Too long, read anyway, loved it.

biotwist
2 designs submitted - Score now!

we all need more dick in our lives

HorsefaceDee

biotwist on Dec 06 '10 at 6:20pm we all need more dick in our lives

That's what she said!!!!

myteemo

that's a lot of words i don't want to read. But something tells me congrats are in order.

Congrats!

evolveORdie

LIKE TOTALLY EPIC! KNOBJOB DESERVED, MY FRIEND, DESERVED INDEED.

rbthatcher

BAG-O-FRIES!!!!!!!

rhythmdev9

KENNY'S LOSS, DICK'S GAIN!

snaggle tooth

KENNY LOGGINS BRO? I THOUGHT YOU WERE CORE BRO!?

snaggle tooth

LOL'ed @ "DO NOT PASS GO, BRO."

badbasilisk

I HAVE TO VISIT MCDONALDS RIGHT NOW!

glaze

Mr. Firestorm

Drinking the PBR's eh? My dad said they called them PBR sandwiches in Nam. Best damn cheap American beer made period. There is reason why they show Clint Eastwood drinking them in Gran Tarino.

professorE

professorE on Sep 23 '10 at 1:15pm <big>TF'NL; DF'NR!!!

Actually, I did read it. </big>

staffell

Google chrome's new netbook comes without a caps lock key to 'improve comments across the internet' apparently, so dick, best not buy one of those, because you'll be ruined

Mr..Grieves

You're a god among designers bro. I have your Hot Chicks on Wolves shirt and it gets me the ladies all the time. I want your other shirts too but they're sold out. Fuck me bro.

SJ27

Heehee, did you just ask Dick Firestorm to fuck you?

Boycey

I always want to read these but I can't concentrate on all the caps.

I'll just guess he went to McDonalds and the did a solid one.

LooseEnds

sounds like the perfect day

skindapple

you rock bro!

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