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My first critique submission. :D
Please don't be harsh on your comments.
Suggestions are very much appreciated.
One more thing, any ideas for a title for this design?
i like the idea. i dont know if u need the origami text. i dnt really have any good title idea. maybe origami thru the ages
check out mine
Hey! Thanks for the idea. I like your suggestion for the title. :D
Uhm.. I tried to put it on a shirt without the 'origami' title as elf09 suggested. What else should I change/add/remove? :D
Thanks again :D
I like the idea, i feel that it could be executed a little bit better,keep it up
I like it a lot as a concept, but honestly I would have used the paper airplane for elementary and the crane for high school, just according to difficulty level and what I remember doing.
Maybe try that out, but definitely keep working on it. You've got a solid idea!
I would love to have some help too, if you have a chance =)
@Dodonius: Thanks! What do you think I can do to make it look better? :D
@AveriaRose: I'll take that idea into consideration. Thanks for that! :D
awesome idea :D
i agree with AveriaRose. the crane would be better as high school, airplane for elementary. :)
if you have a minute, critique mine? thanks. :)
Does it look better? :D
any more suggestions? :D
hmmm .bettter than v2
Changed the color of the shirt and added some shadows. :D
What do you think? Suggestions anyone? :D
Can you try another typography? One no handwriting you have alredy the manual labor with the origami.
And maybe can you try to do the ball of paper more real?Like the origami figures?
Why do you choose green for the t-shirt? Have you try grey maybe? To me it's calling for a darl t-shirt :P
I like the idea a lot! ^^
and the crumpled paper looks to toony, if i may say, its pretty good but just improve it a little :D
I like it ! maybe cut back on the shadows a tad. good concept!
the typograpy isn't quite right.
anyways... check mine out :D
i think you can reduce the shadows
Thanks guys! :D
Changed color and lettering :D Also removed shadows. :D
What do you think? :D Suggestions anyone?
***don't know how to make the crumpled paper look more realistic.. help?
lol! great idea!
i think you should clean it up...there are places where the white is overlapping the lineart.
Please help me out and rate mine:)
@JTNC: Thanks! :D that does help a lot :D
@ibeenthere: Thank you! :D Yeah, I'll clean it up :D
Changed it back to its original color. I think it makes it have more contrast compared to gray. What do you think?
Also made lines thinner and cleaned it up :D
What else could I do? :D
This is a cool idea, but I'm not sure if the font really works yet. Also the crumpled paper doesn't quite seem to match the other two items. I think if you were to change the paper's look, maybe crumple some paper up and look at it, you may find that you like the design a little more. But overall i like where its going.
oooooo i like that the font looks like folded paper. I agree the balled up piece of paper still does not look like the other graphics, so I'd fix that and think about varying the width of your lines to give the whole thing more depth.
@Aimzz2kill: Thanks for that! :D Yeah, I still have to fix the crumpled paper ball :D Any ideas on how to do it? :D
@PrinciplesOf: I tried doing that. Haha. It didn't work that well. :D I'll Try doing it again :D
it is a funny idea
for my personal taste, i would like to make the border edge thicker in order to get the cartoon feel
check mine if you get time
Dreams are made winding through her hair
All is full of love
Love it! SO much better now, I think. I think the font looks great, but I agree about the paper. The lines would be straighter with sharper corners, not so squiggly.
Keep working on it, I think it's a great idea!
And, yay! My sub just went up for scoring! When you get a chance, check it out =)
brilliant idea :D The font didn't quite grab me though, maybe try something sleaker? I like the colours. as for improving the crumpled ball, have you tried just actually crumpling up some paper and using that as a reference photo? Kinda like the jagged lines though, they kinda add to the frustration i associate with it : )
Please check out my design if you have time :D
Made lines thicker :D Tried making the crumpled paper ball too :D
comments anyone? :D
I'm not sure about this. I think the concept is fantastic but it should have characters holding these pieces of paper. The text is a bit too much.
Now you do me!
Love the idea.
I'd put the paper side by side with small text underneath. The text is overtaking the design and tee.
smaller text and the lines are too bold for me...
my design is out for scoring, please vote and comment.
Sport Solar System
removed text.. added some detail on the paper :D
comments? suggestions? :D
comments please? :D
HAHA nice... I love the concept. I think you nailed the idea, but you can't have those stripes on the first one and not on any others. Just remove'em, and you might have a sub. Also, you might wanna' put other examples.
... but who plays for the violin?
i dont really like how they are just place in a triangle formation in the center, vary the positioning and try to add some significance to where they go.
it would also look better if the grades weren't all just placed on flat folds of the paper.
Just my nit picky opinions, please rate and comment on my new submission too, i could really use the help, and i appreciate it.
I really like the concept. hehe, it's great.
some lines for shading and it's done.
(needs a bit of volume)
I'm up for scoring, can you help me out and leave a comment
I think you should put shadows.
Vote for my Italian Love
Let the shadows in and maybe remove the color lines on the flyer. And try to add something that connects theese three, the logo is not enought. It lacks flow.
Please vote for my squirrel Thanks :)
Some shading and shadows would make it much better!
If you have time, could you critique mine?