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Art Of Origami

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dudoy323

Hi Guys!

My first critique submission. :D

Please don't be harsh on your comments.

Suggestions are very much appreciated.

One more thing, any ideas for a title for this design?

Thanks :D

dudoy323

Hey! Thanks for the idea. I like your suggestion for the title. :D

dudoy323

Uhm.. I tried to put it on a shirt without the 'origami' title as elf09 suggested. What else should I change/add/remove? :D

Thanks again :D

Dodonius

I like the idea, i feel that it could be executed a little bit better,keep it up

AveriaRose

I like it a lot as a concept, but honestly I would have used the paper airplane for elementary and the crane for high school, just according to difficulty level and what I remember doing. Maybe try that out, but definitely keep working on it. You've got a solid idea! I would love to have some help too, if you have a chance =) When_Dairy_Goes_Bad You_suck_You_blow

dudoy323

@Dodonius: Thanks! What do you think I can do to make it look better? :D

dudoy323

@AveriaRose: I'll take that idea into consideration. Thanks for that! :D

LaBellaVita1

awesome idea :D i agree with AveriaRose. the crane would be better as high school, airplane for elementary. :)

if you have a minute, critique mine? thanks. :)

dudoy323

Does it look better? :D

any more suggestions? :D

MDeepG

hmmm .bettter than v2

dudoy323

Changed the color of the shirt and added some shadows. :D

What do you think? Suggestions anyone? :D

Thanks :D

Ada Diez

Can you try another typography? One no handwriting you have alredy the manual labor with the origami.

And maybe can you try to do the ball of paper more real?Like the origami figures?

Why do you choose green for the t-shirt? Have you try grey maybe? To me it's calling for a darl t-shirt :P

I like the idea a lot! ^^

angelowillo

and the crumpled paper looks to toony, if i may say, its pretty good but just improve it a little :D

Aimzz2kill

I like it ! maybe cut back on the shadows a tad. good concept!

HeeBee GeeBee

the typograpy isn't quite right.

fatoldpal

i think you can reduce the shadows

dudoy323

Thanks guys! :D

dudoy323

Changed color and lettering :D Also removed shadows. :D

What do you think? :D Suggestions anyone?

***don't know how to make the crumpled paper look more realistic.. help?

Thanks! :D

JTNC

i think it would look cooler with thinner lines, and i like the hand written style text you had before. :\ sorry if that doesn't help.

ibeenthere

lol! great idea! i think you should clean it up...there are places where the white is overlapping the lineart. Please help me out and rate mine:) Owl Commando

dudoy323

@JTNC: Thanks! :D that does help a lot :D

@ibeenthere: Thank you! :D Yeah, I'll clean it up :D

dudoy323

Changed it back to its original color. I think it makes it have more contrast compared to gray. What do you think?

Also made lines thinner and cleaned it up :D

What else could I do? :D

Thanks!! :D

Principles Of

This is a cool idea, but I'm not sure if the font really works yet. Also the crumpled paper doesn't quite seem to match the other two items. I think if you were to change the paper's look, maybe crumple some paper up and look at it, you may find that you like the design a little more. But overall i like where its going.

dudoy323

Thanks! :D

Aimzz2kill

oooooo i like that the font looks like folded paper. I agree the balled up piece of paper still does not look like the other graphics, so I'd fix that and think about varying the width of your lines to give the whole thing more depth.

dudoy323

@Aimzz2kill: Thanks for that! :D Yeah, I still have to fix the crumpled paper ball :D Any ideas on how to do it? :D

@PrinciplesOf: I tried doing that. Haha. It didn't work that well. :D I'll Try doing it again :D

AveriaRose

Love it! SO much better now, I think. I think the font looks great, but I agree about the paper. The lines would be straighter with sharper corners, not so squiggly. Keep working on it, I think it's a great idea! And, yay! My sub just went up for scoring! When you get a chance, check it out =) When_Dairy_Goes_Bad

waylayd

brilliant idea :D The font didn't quite grab me though, maybe try something sleaker? I like the colours. as for improving the crumpled ball, have you tried just actually crumpling up some paper and using that as a reference photo? Kinda like the jagged lines though, they kinda add to the frustration i associate with it : )

Please check out my design if you have time :D

airhead

dudoy323

Made lines thicker :D Tried making the crumpled paper ball too :D

comments? suggestions?

Thanks! :D

dudoy323

comments anyone? :D

liadsandmann

I'm not sure about this. I think the concept is fantastic but it should have characters holding these pieces of paper. The text is a bit too much. Now you do me!

Red Rafael

Love the idea.

I'd put the paper side by side with small text underneath. The text is overtaking the design and tee.

dudoy323

removed text.. added some detail on the paper :D

comments? suggestions? :D

thanks! :D

dudoy323

comments please? :D

thanks! :D

Jeiji

HAHA nice... I love the concept. I think you nailed the idea, but you can't have those stripes on the first one and not on any others. Just remove'em, and you might have a sub. Also, you might wanna' put other examples. ... but who plays for the violin?

blapo

I really like the concept. hehe, it's great.

some lines for shading and it's done. (needs a bit of volume)

crit mine?

krearchiv

Let the shadows in and maybe remove the color lines on the flyer. And try to add something that connects theese three, the logo is not enought. It lacks flow.

Please vote for my squirrel Thanks :)

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