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Snake maze

So this is just a rough sketch of an idea to gauge if anyone would be interested in this concept as a shirt. Please share your thoughts, and any suggestions you might have for style/color whatever, and I'll try to do the same for you. Thanks! :)

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8bitcat

So this is just a rough sketch of an idea to gauge if anyone would be interested in this concept as a shirt. Please share your thoughts, and any suggestions you might have for style/color whatever, and I'll try to do the same for you. Thanks! :)

happyrobot

an oversized screen print will look best for this.

Ike Lawliet

I think the mouse should be a lot larger, or it may be difficult to see on a shirt. Maybe also a bright color to show it well. Otherwise, great start!

If you don't mind, would you leave a comment and vote on my Panda?

8bitcat

Alright, a basic color version on olive. I think the snake needs texture/detail but I'm afraid of it getting to busy...any suggestions? Thanks!

The68thDimension

heheh I like this...can we see it on a tee? I think it would actually look quite effective in its simplicity, but I'm finding it hard to gauge just as an illustration.
why is the snake unhappy? he's got the mouse trapped!

Taterzan

A pattern on the body would make this much too busy, for sure! Also, I have to agree about the snakes face. He looks a little depressed. Cheer up, guy! Dinner's on the way!

8bitcat

Thanks guys, I have a tee-version coming up. My initial thought with the snake frowning is that he has a long maze ahead of him before he can eat...but I can certainly cheer him up.

Roomic_Cube

i like it, i dont think it needs a pattern i think it looks better simple and stylised the way it is, make the snake a lil more happy and you're flying

sheaman

I like the idea. The only thing I'd say could be better is the snakes face. I wouldn't add any texture or pattern to the snake. Keep up the good work! I'm excited to see it on a tee template.

A comment and score would be awesome:)

8bitcat

Thanks everyone for your help so far! As requested, here it is on a t-shirt and with new and improved happy snake. I also tweaked the mouse just a bit, there's a close-up if you're interested.

Anything else to change?

trevornicholls

now this is what i call a loose loose situation haha if nit ever finds its way out it gets eaten love it

i love the simplicity and graphic qualities of the image so i think i would leave that alone, but i think the color scheme needs some work, i know the colours make sense, and terms of mouse/ snake , but i would personally never where a shirt in those colors.i might use a red or yellow or something bright for the snake and put it on a different colored shirt i dont mind the gray of the mouse but you could play with that too, im sure you'd get come wicked results

also, have a look at my latest creation :) id appreciate any suggestions you got :) critique

Pakpandir

cool idea! I really like the simpleness especially on the mouse. Its very cute. I think your idea is really great! But i do think because you've taken a very simple approach, you should design your snake lines and make it more like a maze. Just my thoughts! Thanks for your comments

8bitcat

Thanks for your suggestions guys. I guess I have the basic concept but just need to give it that extra oomph...I'll work on it!

greenttentacle

Great design.

I saw something from someone else subbed recently with a similar feel, but it lacked "finish".

I think if you add more snake-like scales details to this, it could really work. I think it needs a way out for the mouse and some dead-ends, with cheese or something else, much like the mazes (puzzle books) we did as kids.

Would be a fab design for the Childhood competition! :)

Maybe you could have a look at mine too? It's for the Threadless Loves competition, Childhood. Design 1: Puddles Thanks!

Phinx

maybe add like a slight impression of scales on the snake and or maybe a darkshade on the side but I like the concept it's pretty unique.

Check out my IAMROBOT plz.

mtcassette

I liked on your sketch where you had scales.
Go with it!

Hagnii

I think the illustration would really pop with a yellow snake. Great job, though. Keep it up.

dryoats

more detail, the snake loses his "snakiness" going from the sketched version to the V3 look.

8bitcat

Alrighty. So, based on comments I completely re-drew this so that it is smaller and fits on the shirt differently. I also tried to make it more "snake-like" by making the snake overall more "wiggly", lol. I've also added a hand-drawn scale pattern, which is more pronounced in some places. Finally I have changed the colors, putting this on a kelly green. It's also on gold as seen in the close up box.

Personally I think it's loads better, and I particularly like the new color scheme. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

greenttentacle

Hmm, i disagree with obviously everyone else. The previous version in it's largeness what was gave this design OOMF/ SHABANG/ AWESOMENESS. Now it's kinda bland.

I love the texture of the snake, but DO change it back to the older design.

I still think puzzle book maze sections could really REALLY work well.

Can you take a look at my new version of Spotted (or "Untitled" currently!!)? I need some Dr Seuss colour ideas.

Thanks!! :)

8bitcat

I think the texture is needed because it gives it extra polish, and I was afraid the texture might be too overwhelming at the large size... I'm also not really looking forward to redrawing all those scales. But I suppose I should give it a shot :)

Hmm. Another important part is the positioning. I feel the first one gave the punchline away early...should I just flip it so that the mouse is in the top left corner and the snake head at the bottom, or re-draw it so the mouse is in the middle like this version? I think the first lines need to be re-worked regardless, they seem too stiff to me now.

Could you clarify what you mean by puzzle book maze sections? Because of the nature of the design I can't give the mouse a safe exit, it's all one continuous unbroken line. Thanks for following up on your critique, much appreciated!

frauleinkatrina

I think it's a little more dynamic to have the mouse and snake head at different corners looking at each other, like version three. Just cut it down so it fits on the shirt like it does here, and keep the new texture and color scheme. Other than that, I really really love this and can't wait to give you 5 when you submit :)

Check mine out?

greenttentacle

Some examples of kids puzzle book mazes are HERE. Basically i think you should have larger paces in the "dead-end" parts of the snake (i.e the holes between the snakes weaving body are where the mouse finds his way out) and then in those parts where there are dead-ends maybe have a small wedge of cheese or a mouse trap or a cat, etc, to add some interest overall.

As for drawing individual scales - it may be tedious, but the details really do tend to help....

Berbs42

I really liked the size of v3 but this one works too!! Though I really prefer the colors from v3 over v4, and the snake head from v4 is SUPERB!! I also think greenttentacle's ideas for stuff at the dead ends is great, but it would have to be really subtle coloring so that they aren't the first things you see; the mouse should continue to pop like it already does!! And the scales... fantastic!
And lastly, thank you for your input on my critique! It's now up for voting!!

greenttentacle

How are you going on this 8bitcat?

8bitcat

Sorry I haven't updated this, been busy with other things. I really appreciate everyone's input though, thanks!

You guys are right about the size/placement. In this version the design is just plopped on there as opposed to looking like it was actually made for a shirt. My plan is to keep the style from this version but make it bigger like the previous ones.

Greenttentacle- I'm also trying to work with your idea of giving the mouse an exit, and the extra elements, because it adds another twist to it. Thanks for your followup, you've really encouraged me to get this thing right :)

8bitcat

This version is an intermediate step to see what people think of the placement and size. I wanted your opinions before I draw all those scales again. So, thoughts?

Oh and look close at the maze, I added one of greententacle's ideas...I like it, it's an extra twist! I'm working on your other suggestions as well, thanks for waiting.

Ars Fera

I loved the texture in the previous version!

Other than that, the placement is great! I like it on the orange shirt because you can't even see the mouse on the other one.. and try it on kelly green like I see it on the design tab!
And if you're not busy, I would sure appreciate a comment and score for my second sub ever!!

fhigi25

i really love this and a"maze"d, i'm a very complex guy, but i love simple designs like this that's huge on shirts. im going towards the orange tee and green, like Ars Fera observed, the mouse is invisible on light gray.

if you have time. please comment and score my designs:

Chaos
On The Brink of Collapse
Hot!

thanks in advance, i appreciate it!

8bitcat

Oh I meant to mention, pretend the guy is in a green shirt. And the final version will have scales! But thanks for your comments on the placement, glad to hear you like it :)

MetalCioffi

maybe the slightest hint of a shadow underneath? also, to be honest, the placement of the snake's head and the mouse was a little better in version 3. really like the scales you had on the previous version, glad to hear they are coming back. both the green shirt and the light orange shirt are pretty nice.

if you don't mind... i'd like a critique myself.

8bitcat

Other option would be the gold shirt. I think this is finished, I'm planning to submit unless people see any final changes. Thanks for your help everyone!

Reggebah

Submit!

frauleinkatrina

I miss the mouse sitting up a little, but I would still very happily give this a 5 and buy it when it prints!

digsy

got to say i kinda liked the mouse who was sitting up a bit more - he had more character.
the texture on the snake is nice now, although you might hate me for saying i'd like to see more colours in it.
what about him having his mouth open aswell ... the head kinda looks a bit weird at the moment.
this is a great concept otherwise, really looking forward to seeing it subbed.

please vote and comment on vincent.
I also have a guess the score comp going on this design with a GUARANTEED PRIZE of a $25 GC

archimer

I've got to agree with Digsy on the mouse thing! The mouse sitting up may break the idea of an overhead perspective a little bit, but I think that on a tee like this, it is very excusable. The overhead view of the mouse feels kind of static; almost as if the poor thing has resigned himself to his snakey fate! :( If this hasn't been submitted yet, I'd love to see a version of this with the mouse from Version 4!

The colors you've chosen appear to have just the right amount of contrast, and that little "smile" on the snake's face is an excellent detail. This shirt is beautiful both at distance and in detail. I would love to see it get printed! :)

Thanks a lot for critiquing my work! Your observations have been very helpful to me!

8bitcat

Haha I thought this mouse made more sense, but I didn't know you guys would miss the old one so much :) I'll switch them out and then be good to go? It's a little detail, but I think you all are right, thanks!

D-Alien

great work! I'd love to see this design just a bit more volumetric. a shadow from the snake over the ground maybe... overall just a bit more realistic. just a suggestion though.
please crit mine:
Funny Rodeo v3

malcolmeb

this is so cool. shadowing would make it insane too

fasterflame21

I agree with Digsy on the mouse, and with malcolmeb on the shadows. Just a touch of depth, and it's good. If you wouldn't mind, look at my design

Lucanio

I like the mouse from v4 better

Hagnii

I freakin' love it. The colors are excellent.

I say sub!

EricDiaz

looks great! Though i saw a snake/mouse maze design up for scoring not too long ago. This is definitely different enough, just reminded me of it.

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