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The Ecumenic Danceoff

Okay so I decided to try and make something for the Moby promotion, and this is what I came up with... I wish last night was like this!



Decided to keep it as simple as i could, so I stuck with CMYK. No gold foil, no simulated process, no glow. No special effects, not even of any kind!



Also, just for the record, I\'m not trying t make a grand theological statement. But even clergy needs to kick it every now and then!



SO. I decided to put this up for critique first, so tell me what you think! Thanks!

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Truotsalainen

Okay so I decided to try and make something for the Moby promotion, and this is what I came up with... I wish last night was like this!

Decided to keep it as simple as i could, so I stuck with CMYK. No gold foil, no simulated process, no glow. No special effects, not even of any kind!

Also, just for the record, I\'m not trying t make a grand theological statement. But even clergy needs to kick it every now and then!

SO. I decided to put this up for critique first, so tell me what you think! Thanks!

zahadka

This is stylin'.

I R SL8ER

Not likeing it, sorry

slevine1022

i like it, but the rabbi doesn't look like he's wearing any pants. or shoes.

Winter the artist
Winter the artist profile pic Alumni

you need to put more detail in the people and the lights look too stiff..try adding halftones

musicman1891

i like it but the colouring on the nun needs work. i'm not diggin the yellow

Truotsalainen

Thanks for the feedback guys,

I can definitely try switching the colours around and try to refine the rabbi's outfit a little bit...

Not really sure what you mean by "try adding halftones"... I was trying to keep it real simple since I'm not a photoshop wizard (and I don't have illustrator, heh) so I decided to go for more of a "colour study"... That's why I didn't mess around with real detailed stuff like facial features. But as said, if you have anything specific in mind that you think would improve this, I'm willing to experiment!

I'll also put it on a white bacground for you guys to see what it'd look like with the outlines, just for comparison... Maybe that'll make it look a bit more detailed.

Truotsalainen

Okay so I did a new draft of this but when I try to upload it the picture is all stretched and ugly... It's 800x640 though so it should upload fine... If anyone has any clue as to how to fix that I'd appreciate some advice... Haha.

Truotsalainen

All righty we're back in business!

So, I changed the colours around a bit, gave the rabbi some pants and changed the background colour to white for comparison. The outlines of my original drawing pop out now, which I thought looked nice. What do you guys think of the new colours and such?

I'm going to try to figure out how to do halftones and do a bit of shading, but I'm writing a research paper and preparing for finals at the same time so I'm not sure if that'll actually happen... Hehe.

So, any comments are welcome! Please be as specific as possible as to what you like/don't like, so that I can try and fix those problems. Thanks!

Truotsalainen

Looks so much better if I do say so myself! Adding halftones was a great idea, thanks for that!

I also kinda like the dark grey background because you can still see the outlines but the figures still pop almost as well as with the black background. What do you guys think?

Also, any other ideas are still welcome! There's still 6 days until I have to submit this.

lantos

this is so sweet. I loves it.

Retroludo
Retroludo profile pic Alumni

Thanks very much for the solid comments they'll help a lot. I would like to see the monk have an eye on the left side, I understand there's a shadow but I'm not quite sure that works. It took me a moment to realize he was holding prayer beads, you might want to add a few more beads, it looks a tad incomplete. I like the placement a lot. I think you can get away with extending the yellow and pink lights all the way to the edges of the shirt if you want but they also look fine where they are although the yellow edge ends a bit abruptly for me. I like the design and I think you've put a lot of work in it. Good luck with the deadline.

Truotsalainen

Thanks for the comments!

Yeah I was thinking about the monk's eye, I think I'll try it out. I'll see what I can do about the beads; I don't want to have too many either... It's a fine line! Hehe. I might try to make the angle at which the yellow light ends a bit steeper, that sounds like a good idea.

Also, now that the facial features were mentioned, what do you think about the rabbi's face? Is it clear what I'm going for or should I try to refine it a bit?

lippy2000

not bad but i feel like there is a conflict of detail.you have really tight lines in the background and then the people seem really unfinished and thick. maybe a compromise somewhere. just a thought. but interesting

Truotsalainen

Thanks for your comment! The lines in the bacground are just to create a halftone, and I did try to use lines for the halftones in the figures but it didn't look good. I wanted to make the lines not stand out that much (as they're supposed to be lights and not physical objects) and I thought a different halftone pattern might do the trick. So yeah, the separation is actually on purpose! Hehe. I'll try to see if I can find another way of doing the same thing that's not quite as diverse from the foreground.

Also, the characters are blocky on purpose. I wasn't really going for a realistic approach but more of a color/shape thing.

Also, if you think it'd help, I could of course try and add a light halftone to the figures. I shall investigate this further. Stay tuned... Hehe.

Le Dobermann

maybe you should add background ? Try placement starting from the shoulder

Truotsalainen

I tried a bunch of different placements, but this is really the only one that made sense to me.... I can try it out again and then post a bunch of different placements/shirt colors if I find anything that I like...

As to the background, I really don't know what I would add. I don't want to make it super complicated. I guess I could try to add a couple of dancers in the distance to try and create some depth, but other than that I'm totally out of ideas. :/

minkler

i think the figures look good in the solid rather than a halftone, but maybe the lines just need to be thinner? or the shadows in halftone? just so it's a little more subtle...

Truotsalainen

Hmm well I personally prefer the figures as they are now... But I can definitely try to make some shadows, that didn't even cross my mind until now!

Truotsalainen

Oh and the shadows are in fact in halftone, but for some reason my computer started freaking out so some of the haltones turned out darker than the others, which doesn't really make much sense... Haha.

icon_metaphor

I know you want everything to be "disco" in the design, but I think having the people in bright colors takes away from it. I think it would look so much cooler if all the figures were in traditional clothing, with maybe one piece of clothing a bright color for each person -- like the nun's rosary beads or something.

Truotsalainen

Thanks for the comment. I'm unfortunately really busy with schoolwork at the moment, so I'm not optimistic about getting a new draft with any major changes out before thursday. I came up with this design for the Moby Promotion so I want to try my luck nevertheless. I will definitely consider your suggestion in the likely case that this doesn't get printed. :)

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