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Rejected advances

Well.
I gathered all my courage, dutch and otherwise, yesterday and told the boy I've been fancying I really liked him, how about going out sometime? And he said no.


It was really the most sweet refusal ever, but I still feel like shit. Very, very unattractive, embarrassed and over-emotional about it all shit.


It seems most unfair that whenever I develop a fierce crush on somebody they like me, but not in that way, and if someone crushes on me I just don't feel the same. Such a waste of potential tenderness.

Watch this
chelly

if he were me i would have said yes and then did that thing where i walk down the street dancing so you knew how happy i was w/ life because of you

spacesick
spacesick profile pic Alumni

:( that sucks

want me to kick his ass for you?

jackanapes

Dr. Phil is the one I want.

The Wee Straggler

Well boo to him then. Good for you for sticking your neck out though, that's always hard to do.

icebar

veeruska don't fret about it.
it's really not a big deal; it's only one person and there will be more.
if he doesn't like you then you wouldn't have gone well together anyway!
good for you for talking to him!

icebar

aw look it's icebar, wee straggler and veeruska together again!

but i have to go now ;)

The Wee Straggler

Yeah. What are you still doing here? Don't make me get the switch.

marblecargirl

He must be a 'mo then. That's the only explanation.

lemonalle

just about every time i've ever told a guy i liked him, it hasn't turned out well. it's awesome that you got the nerve up to ask... and someone even better will come along. that's how it always seems to work out.

veeruska

ooh, chelly, that really is the most cavalier comforting comment EVER!

The thing is that he was very nice and sweet about it all, can't blame him, when there's just no spark what can you do etc.
This would be so much easier if he'd have been a rude twat. I could feel righteous fury. But no, he was sweet and considerate.

icebar

it sounds like a good experience in a way. i can see why you liked him if he was nice about it.

oh right i'm supposed to be gone. whoops

jenraskopf

If it makes you feel better, I had a crush on the same boy from 2nd grade up until junior year, and I finally managed the courage to ask him to prom, and he not only said no, but waited to hear from someone else before he responded, as I later found out. But you never know when happiness is just around the corner.

jackanapes

I never stick my neck out. I don't really have it in me. It takes weeks of flirtatious build up for me to gain the confidence.

veeruska

What switch?

squintygirl

I wish I had your courage when I was your age.

The Wee Straggler

Oh. I didn't mean you Veera, but you know, whatever you're into.

ladykat
ladykat profile pic Alumni

That sucks, but like others said, it's awesome you actually made a move.

Besides, in the long run that's better... because now it'll be easier for you to move on.

veeruska

I thought we had flirtatious build up.
Jen, I was afraid something like that might happen - that I'd spend years secretly crushing, never saying anything. In a way it's better now as I can try to move on. I'm still devastated though.

veeruska

I still don't understand the switch reference. Light switch? No?

jenraskopf

Switch probably for beating the silly boy into his senses.
And anyway, I moved on and I'm glad I at least had the courage to try, rather than never know.

spacesick
spacesick profile pic Alumni

(oh man! here's my chance! I've been waiting for it for ever and now's the moment of truth!)

jen, will you do me the great honor of

The Wee Straggler

Yeah, switch as in a twig used to deliver corporal punishment. As it turns out I'm actually an 80 year old man.

spacesick
spacesick profile pic Alumni

moving your car out of the driveway? I need to get out and it's blocking me

veeruska

Yea, if nothing is never said nothing can ever happen. Sighs.

icebar

haha switch

jenraskopf

You have the keys. Move it yourself. And get me a beer!

veeruska

Aah, discipline builds character, turning boys to men and all that?

The Wee Straggler

Yeah. That's the problem. He's just not man enough for you. Remember that.

veeruska

Thank you. I feel slightly better, strangely.

icebar

lawn? yawn.

jstumpenhorst
jstumpenhorst profile pic Alumni

awww. i'm sorry veeruska!

RobinHood

Ah joh, dan verdiende hij je niet :)

veeruska

Nederlander? I'm sorry, I don't speak dutch.

J-Ray

An old girlfriend used to say... "If you're not rejected at least once a week, you're not trying hard enough."

RobinHood

Oops! I figured since your name was Veera and you said something about Dutch, you were Dutch. Sorry.

veeruska

No, it was 'dutch courage' meaning beer, or getting drunk. Is Veera a dutch name too?

icebar

veeruska where are you from again? i'm sorry

veeruska

Finland, Helsinki. But Veera is also a very common name in Russia. Beepa.

RobinHood

Veera could be a Dutch name, although it's usually spelled as Vera.

veeruska

Vera with one e is a very international name. Everyone usually spells my name like that. I don't bother correcting them so much anymore as they always remember it's "Verra" which is worse.

13strong

Veera - focus on feeling good about asking him - so many people can't do that, and it took me a long time to learn that you have to be utterly fearless about these things.

It's weird: my friend just got back from Morocco (Morroco? Dammit...) and she and her friend had hung out with a couple of Moroccan (Morrocan? Dammit...) guys.

She said the thing that these guys found most shocking and surprising about women in the UK is that they often ask men out, rather than the other way around. Apparently that is completely unheard of over there.

Then again, this is also a place where my friend had rocks thrown at her for rejecting some guy's advances. And another guy shouted out to her "Hey, would you like to make babies?!"

So celebrate your right and freedom to come on to men! And to pursue them relentlessly until they give it up! Yeah!

Manos
Manos profile pic Alumni

Sounds like the refusal I received from a girl in high school a long looooong time ago.

littlem

Happy Birthday!!!

:D

littlem

oh, and regarding this original blog, things will click for you someday soon, i feel it. don't fret!

chelly

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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