The Official Slogan Club!
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In honor of the month of Valentines, I am pleased and super-giddy to announce "THE 1ST OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS SLOGAN CONTEST!" That's right, club faithful! For the next month, any slogan you would like submitted into this contest MUST be stated as so in the main blog (highlighting or italics would be a plus). Don't worry about people voting your slogan down in the chance it might increase their winning percentages, because Nintechno and I will be picking the contest winner independently from what the official scoring is, so it's all about the idea and NOT how many people like it!
The 1st contest will be any and all slogans pertaining to the theme of "Video Games (extra lives, hit points, high scores, etc...)"
Prizes for the contest winner (besides being forever immortalized in the Slogan Club Hall of Fame) will be forthcoming. Good luck, as we can't wait for you guys to WOW! us (as in dazzling slogans, not "Worlds of Warcraft, elf nerd).
Number of current Club members who have had their slogans magically turn into shirt form on Threadless: 4
Number of weeks without a new Threadless type tee making the cut: 7!
Number of Slogan Club Bretheren: 61
Average Age of Slogan Club Member: 22.84
Membership cards are going to be available within the next few weeks, so keep your eyes peeled!
Yes, it is indeed FRICKINAWESOME and Nintechno AKA He Who Now Plays With Power...Slogan Power!, welcoming you to the Official Slogan Club Treehouse Headquarters, where all matters that pertain to our love affair of witty word clusters will be discussed, dissected, ranted and/or raved about! Anything goes pertaining to the art of the slogan, with anyone who has at least five slogans and offically decrees their intent to join the Slogan Club will find FRICKINAWESOME's favorite slogans of yours at the top o' the blog, as well as a month's supply of bingo boards and a special preview of the upcoming Cornacopia of Fruitopia!
There will be a featured sloganeer of Nintechno's choosing every week, highlighting any individuals who really step up their brain games and show outstanding advancements in the field of slogan shirt-larity!
This week's brainiac is: MadIron! To celebrate, randomly approach sexy strangers on the street and command them to kiss you for becoming the new slogan champ of the week. If they don't slap/mace you in the face or plant a firm knee to the junk area, consider yourself coming out a winner!
In honor of a smattering of our Club members contributing to the fan-made Joy of Text 2 design competition (or JOT2 as many have seen in the sub designs), we urge you to vote on both Mela De Gypsie's entry as well as schleb's. In context to this slogan blog, these submissions have as much to do with words as drawings, and we wish good luck to all involved in this wordy art competition:
Topics will be highlighted as well every week, so make sure to look at the question at hand and post your opinion along with your regular comments to other fellow sloganeers.
This Week's Topic: What is your process for thinking up the slogans you put up for Threadless voting as make their way from your brain to the digital page?
Remember, this is a friendly, nurturing environment for people who are serious about making funtastic and goofy slogans, so if you think someone's slogans should be be ashamed of themselves, do so constructively. Now, go to it gang!
"Don't look at me, I'm just the narrator" - Swintproof (AKA OG Slo Ho)
"Noses: Ripe for the Picking" - stevethegrrrrrrrreat!
"I have every medical disorder...except hypochondria." - lincolnish, who kinda reminds me of President Top Hat.
"Some people are wise, some people are otherwise." - kaylaFOZB Bear. (wakka wakka!)
"Poetic drummers are into cymbalism."- BaconJesus AKA the tasty treat left after the crucifixtion!
"vishnu went broke on mittens"- chelly, a gal who is 2.3789379 billion times warmer than her name suggests.
"A life sentence is alot of writing"
"I believe in death after life"- The_Calamity_of_Humanity, a poet who never even knew this.
"being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing"
"You can't hear me right now, i'm doing a soliloquy"- Torakamizake, who makes one hell of a mozzerilla stick!
"Hello. [return greeting to initiate conversation]"- Drpangloss03, the doc to go to for all your pubic hair transplant needs.
"Custody Battles Need More Light Sabers."
"Babies are suspiciously adorable."
"Lying Is One of the Eight Deadly Sins."- snacktivity, the Threadless 16-year-old slogan prodigy.
"non·sense [non-sens] –noun: 1. Trv qoxla jijy progsfd."
"Dead musicians decompose."- Mr. Wander, the unfortunate sacrificial lamb in the Reservoir Dogs's playbook.
"I used to skinny dip. Now I chunky dunk."- kinky juice, whose Rebellious Raspberry! (TM) fruit drink is a valubale source for your daily ultra-sexiness.
"Vegan: Indian word for a lousy hunter."- YtFeLMi, aN InCrdblY sWet idVdUal.
"Track: when it's perfectly normal to run around in circles"- dragana44, a foxy winged beast who singes our bodies with flames but in such an adorable way you just can't stay mad at her!
"I have dreams where I'm being pinched"
"Window shoppers are buy-curious"- chemi hydro AKA He Who Inhales Gas Fumes Vigourously With Every Fill-Up.
"Oh, you mean THAT elephant. Yeah, I mostly ignore him."- Polyester Jones, a beloved dealer of only the finest in polyester gown and evening wear: "Suits That Look Just Like the Real Deal!!! (Good for One Wear Only)"
"i'm not jealous. i'm just pissed that you have what I want."- negala, king of a fantasy land named after him, overflowing with meat-eating pet rocks, unicorns and Thundercats.
"There's nothing in my pocket. I'm just happy to see you."- Tongue, who has a wierd habit of placing his in your cheek.
"Movies - Ruining the book since 1920"
"Math jokes are equal to or greater than regular jokes"- ZombieToArt, ...is what FreddyToCrapFlicks is.
" Pain has a very distinct taste. To learn more, eat a bee."
"995 words short of a picture."
"It was a dark and stormy night. The author got scared and left."- LarLar, who recently made a joint venture with a certain fast-food outlet to create the hunger-debunking Hardy's HarHar LarLar Burger.
"Remember when stuff was interesting?"- lemonalle, an immortal soul that heaven and hell have been playing a ping-pong match with since the dawn of time.
"question marks: killing your sentences with uncertainty"
"barcodes: zebras in corporate disguise"- backtozero, a man who wants to re-correct his wrongs by traveling back in time to Zero BC to Save Mr. Christ, but doesn't realize this act of pure kindness will self-destruct an entire religion.
"Money does not grow on trees, it's just made out of it." StopPickingOnMe, a person who in every sport plays defensive.
"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more."
"Atheism, a non-prophet organization"- thebabe 2, a heart-breaking sequel detailing Babe Ruth coming back from the dead to take on the Curse of the Bambino once and for all, but sadly finds out that the curse was conquered by the Red Sox a few years back, and that he used up his celebrity haunting Earth pass for nothing.
"Reach for the stars. Find a better cliche while you're up there."- alacyt, named after the scientific element of the same name; when mixed with oxygen fills whoever breathes it with the uncontrollable urge to do the MC Hammer baggy pants dance for hours on end.
"A surrealist yells "Theater!" at a crowded fire"
"If you play with yourself, how do you know when you've won?"- skafiend007, an international secret agent who must keep strict cover from his fellow bandmates in England's favorite non-threatening punk band The Not-Give-a-Shits, but must also keep his crazy anti-rules and establishment side secret....gasp...from himself as well.
"Nouns Do Verbs"- sectionbb, article 6, line 2, word 8, letter 3 was one of the fifteen clues Nicholas Cage had to decipher in the mildly entertaining tomfoolery of National Treasure, which featured sectionbb in his debut performance as the 3D map!
"I use big words in substitution for semantically equivalent words"
"1. Find genie lamp 2. Wish for more genie lamps 3. Profit"- MadIron, who has made a revolutionary invention of the same name; whenever a stay-at-home wife uses the MadIron and rests her weary arms for more than five seconds at a time, the MadIron will hilariously berate her in a harsh male voice to "put down the television soap magazines and get back to ironing my suit for the big dinner with the boss tonight!" as well as thirty others of everyone's favorite verbal lashings!
"Wood Chuck VS Fuzzy Wuzzy...Which Rhyme Will Annoy Us More?" -TheDaneTrain, a transportation system that, like the comedian it is named after, noisely jolts you around on a tour of the most played-out joints in town, just before dropping you off at a destination you never wanted to go to. Zing.
"Jumping off a cliff is only a bad idea if you want to live."
and (besides the "Haiku" slogan which has already won)
"Shadow puppets are not gang signs"- martiandrivein, who owns an alien go-go drive-in fast food palace in Montana, where humans trap those pesky space invaders off-guard and subject them to anal probings and confusion rays just to show them what irony feels like.
"Don't try this on TV."- Uneyed, besting One-Eyed Willie in the contest to see who rolls more pirate-style by losing both eyes instead of just uno.
"This shirt hides my cold, robot interior."- evade, created Ev Ade in honor of my real name, an ubercool refreshing juice that is so full of itself you don't need more than a thimble filled to the brim to be properly quenched.
"Spanish: It's like they have a different word for everything."- EZ SKANKIN, who invented a pop tent that when unfurled and erected, turns anyone who enters it into a skankin' ska fiend. Sold at only the finest thrift shoppes and Hot Topics.
"I would say Bless You when you sneeze but i am an Atheist. Jerk."- bidtoyougoodnite , agirlwhotypesasfastasthe"micromachines"guytalks.
"I heart attacks"
"Death, it's what ends life."- The Sam, a siamese twin conjoined with his brother The I Am.
"FREE TIBET! When you purchase Mongolia at the regular price."
"If you can read this, I lost my tie. (written vertically)"- Aristarchus, named after an obscure Greek God that prevented static cling during black toga affairs.
"Sarcasm - When Complaining Just Isn't Enough"- kidaro, one of the top New New-age performers in the world, with such synthy hits as "You're Getting Sleeeeeeeeeeeeepppppyyyyy" and "Wooziness is a State of Mind."
"Isn't catching tigers by the toe kind of dangerous for kids?"- The Crackers, a man who goes by the most common last name in the downtown section of Honkytown, where it never gets dark outside.
"A warning to mathematicians: don't drink and derive"
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I just hate plants"- ButtercupPez, a new Bryer's Ice Cream favorite which gives you a year's amount of trans-fatty acids in one convenient teaspoon!
"Vietnamese 101: Phuc Dat"- MeLa_de_Gypsie, a woman who can not only see through time with her patented Kristal-Filled Crystal Ball ("up to fifty times more crunktastic than the average crystal ball" TM), but can also describe when and where you will stub your toe, and on what type of object, for the rest of your life.
"Does the sun get cold at night?"- badger0191, who holds in his possession 191 more stinking badgers than we friggin need! (UHF joke)
"Time Traveling Since 2029"- d3monicferret, the damned little hobgoblin that gets into our treasured "e" supply and and changes them into numbers during his highly drugged-out, old-school-Bart-Simpson state.
"Tarzan was a swinger."- canadianbeaver, a pet that I hear Avril Lavigne has one of, which she keeps on her person at all times.
"I'll just sit here quietly until my t-shirt slogan breaks the ice"
"You say tomato, I say Lycopersicon esculentum."- juliejeremiah, a woman who actually felt her porn name was less slutty than her given one, thus had her ID changed from "Sunshine Pussywrinkles" to what you see here.
"Danger is my maiden name."- schleb, named after the final replacement of "The Threes Stooges", who unfortunatly died from a freak unicycle anvil accident during his first scene.
"Ask me about my fear of questions"- Fermata, whose name ryhmes with Rigotta, Ramada and Akira Kurosawa.
"Inertia Makes My Head Spin"- rt3, who suggests getting your kicks on route 66 is for suckers when you could see a circus of flea on route 3.
"100% of people polled said they would take a poll"- little g, the newest member of the Whiffleball Bat Beat-Down Rap Crew, which consists of little g, MC Squared and Ex-Con Junctivitis.
"Beethoven was a bad listener."- El_Dictador_Cubano, the pride of the Cuban Wrestling Federation, whose signature move "Castration of American Sniper Power Thrust" is imitated by thousands of people a day, coinciding with thousands of daily funerals.
"If you want to date me, the odds are good but the goods are odd."
"S.A.D - Dyslexics against smoking"- TimScribble, a man who is sketchy at best to try and pin down.
"I think circles are pointless."
"Never play a game of leapfrog with a unicorn."- AWorldApart, in a galaxy close, close right over here....
"If I told you I liked your wallet would you give it to me?"- stillme, a women who took her name from one of the most beloved religious patrons of early rapper's delight, St. Ill Me.
"I Don't Believe In Athiests."- J_Ray, the international Monopoly Money Millionaire, who combines the charm & suave-icity of one-hit-wonder Sugar Ray, as well as the ability to draw people into his ideas like the hook of the letter "J".
"I'm a noun!"- sharlajay, jay-sharla. Now that you're both well aquainted, tell the other person a little about yourself.
"kill me slowly by rejecting all my ideas"
"i have nothing insulting to say about your mother"- edpricetx, the famous game show shock-host, ranting and raving through such favorites as "Dollars For Dickheads" and "Push a Button, Win a Cookie!"
"Too much pi leads to a large circumference"
"Prison walls aren't built to scale"- jl_london, a French designer of limited edition, ruby-encrusted hand-crafted jock strap apparel.
"Honk if you love geeses"- maloo, Mr. Magoo's sister, a woman with eagle-eyed 20/20 vision but walks into walls and falls off of bridges because she idolizes and imitates her older brother.
"In a perfect world, we would all have ray guns."- Meat_Helmut, the X-treme props comic who routinely skydives with a wild boar strapped to his back, attempting to land in the Chernobyl nuclear reactor core. While on fire with a tack in each shoe.
"Never trust anyone whose socks match."- SemantiTheft, an amateur crook who once attempted to steal her own diamond ring, but got caught in the act and spent several years in the slammer.
and the slogan train keeps a'rollin...