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Requesting Critique

I'm a freshman Art student intent on entering the Graphic Design program at the college I'm attending. This design is an element in my first design final, for which we had to create a composition of two repeating elements that coalesced into a narrative about a dream we've had. As a child, after my daycare center had been besieged by a swarm of bees, I had a reoccurring dream in which a bee perched on my hand would transform my flesh into a hive in sporadic burst of progress. This is the first time I've considered promoting myself, and I'm very nervous about what work ends up coinciding with my identity as an artist. Specifically look for feed back on craft and color theory.

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TheArtistDude

Is this the design you were trying to upload?

GAZPACHO

Can't see the picture :/

GAZPACHO

As to the bee on hand design, there isn't depth to the hand. Try adding some shadows to give more depth to the picture. Try adding shadows throughout because the bee also seems a little flat.

lxromero
lxromero profile pic Staff

some texture would be nice too, specially on certain parts of the bee (the fuzz). the lines on that middle nail seem to be a little arbitrary. Dont be afraid to promote yourself, its half of the craft.

radiomode
radiomode profile pic Alumni
2 designs submitted - Score now!

These are my critiques: 1. While the hexagon has 3d depth to it, the hand falls flat without shadowing making it looks 2d. They do not look cohesive. 2. Using multiple colored outline is something I would avoid because they also do not look cohesive 3. Hand outline looks jagged and lacks of curve 4. Color choice is pretty dull

DanteSmith

Thanks for the feedback.

  1. Imply depth on the hand and bee.
  2. Imply texture in areas like the fur.
  3. Color continuity in the line work.
  4. I can maybe saturate the colors, or choose an alternate color scheme.
  5. The lines on the middle are kind of arbitrary, We had to incorporate hidden elements that coincide with the details of our dream; the lines are an allusion to Sheltering Arms Child Care Center that I added kind of last minute.

I know this submission is essentially just my re-purposing of a design final, but I will give the feedback serious consideration, and post the progress in this thread hopefully by the end of next week.

opifan64
opifan64 profile pic Alumni

For me the coloring looks too flat and digital. I'd like to see something that warmed it up and made it look more organic and interesting. Did this quickly (hope you don't mind) just to show you what I mean. Feel free to ignore my critique though, just my personal taste.

DanteSmith

Wow, thanks for the visual, I really appreciate the time. Thank you!

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