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WIP: A shirt with samurai violins fighting each other. Need feedback! (1st Update)

Update! So I took heed of ya'lls advice and I:



  • Lightened up the background to give it more detail and help it fade out more

  • Darkened the coloring on the violins to help separate them from the background more

  • Shrunk the music notes down, repositioned them "into" the sun and removed the dark borders around them.

  • Modified the broken violin's right hand to (hopefully) be less confusing but still dramatic.


I still need to complete the shadows but I gotta admit I'm having a hard time. Am I overthinking them and just some minor shading will do? Any ideas?


1st WIP:


Original:

Watch this
smkvr

It looks a bit rough to me but that's probably what you were going for stylistically? The notes especially, and the shadows.

SaltySteveD

The notes are meant to spoof the SFX lettering one would find in, say, a Japanese manga.

As for the shadows; yeah, I'm working on that. Which is why I'm here. :P

alternik

Loved the idea!! was about to post the same comments as smkvr, the shadows and the notes look out of place, disturbing the composition and distracting from the main idea. I'd tone them down. The 2 colors of the violins and the sun could be more contrasting. The hand of the broken violin, overlapping with the sword look confusing if zoomed out, I'd separate them. Good luck!

unaifg

^ this!!!

If you make the colors more contrasting all the piece will look a lot better!!

SaltySteveD

Bump! Updated the design but it still needs work. Better? Not better but on the right track?

Manupix

I'd never guess one violin killed the other without your description :(

The killer violin looks static, and the way he holds the bow doesn't make it look like a sword.

weirdofared

I really like the concept. This one probably needs more "movement" for it to work. Maybe add legs? shrugs

soloyo-collabs
4 designs submitted - Score now!
weirdofared said:

I really like the concept. This one probably needs more "movement" for it to work. Maybe add legs? shrugs

yeah they just seem to be standing in place right now

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