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Need feedback on declined design, please help :)

The title is "It'll be over soon"
They said on the email that I should work on Text and Drill's position.
Here's the original design.



So I just rework on it.



What do you guy think?
:)

Watch this
NCowick

First off welcome to threadless. Doesn't sound like you have, but don't let any declines get you down. It happens.

I like the fact that you finished of the drill instead of having it cut off like you did in the original version. I also think your font choice, and text placement have improved. I'm still not sure about the wording though. I think it needs to be more humorous, or needs some sort of pun to it. Sorry that's not much help really.

FoodStampDavis
FoodStampDavis profile pic Alumni

Solid improvements. Well done.

frauleinkatrina
frauleinkatrina profile pic Alumni

I agree with NCowick, it's definitely been improved, but it's not really funny. Figure out different things that the other teeth could say, maybe run them by people here first and see if anyone has thoughts or suggestions.

citydolphin

Thanks, I'll try to come up with something on wording. :)

cjudd

You know what time it must be? Tooth hurtey (2:30)

astro-vela

Definite improvement, but the "supportive" teeth look kind of...angry? I think they need somewhat more sympathetic facial expressions, if that makes sense.

astro-vela

Definite improvement, but the "supportive" teeth look kind of...angry? I think they need somewhat more sympathetic facial expressions, if that makes sense.

FightingFit

Just some feedback on the original. I think the decline probably referred to the text sitting too high and it leaving an odd unbalanced space to the left of the drill. I'd agree with the wording needing some work too though. Hope you keep at it and threadless though.

FightingFit

Just some feedback on the original. I think the decline probably referred to the text sitting too high and it leaving an odd unbalanced space to the left of the drill. I'd agree with the wording needing some work too though. Hope you keep at it and threadless though.

RushXII

The design is nice, simple and clean in the rework. :) I would agree to maybe explore into different things the teeth can say as to lighten the mood more.

Also maybe placing it somewhere not centered on the shirt may give it more dynamism.

citydolphin

Thanks for the comment. :) I'm still working on it.

taz-pie

i can see you have worked hard on this but... who would want a dentist tshirt, other than a dentist? have a look at these:

1

2

3

4

5

they are all tooth related, but clever or funny in some way. you know what i mean? what i am saying is there are some teeth and a drill, but no BIG IDEA, and it is not pretty ot look at. just my worthless 5cents.

citydolphin

Thanks for the input Taz-pie. This idea came up after I went to a dentist last week. I went there and sit in a waiting room and all I can do is waiting. Then they called my name and I went to room with a chair, you know the one with super bright light point directly at your face. I went there and wait. When the doctor checking my teeth and do his job, I can't do anything but open my mouth and wait. All these time I kept thinking to myself that it'll be over soon. And that the idea when I'm making this one. You maybe right, it might not good enough to be printed. I will work on this a bit more before move on to a new one. :) Ps sorry for my poor grammar, haven't use it for a while.

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