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ITS UP!! Help please :)

well.. one of them..


Alone in Space



Thanks for the helps guys!!


Can you guys help me out? would love some help on improving them..
or maybe its already been done before??


Shame boat


Untitled


Thanks for helping..

Watch this
chuck p comics
chuck p comics profile pic Alumni

these are great concepts but need work on execution ...for the first one, the people and the words need detail and cleaning up. second one, you don't need the triangle with the galaxy, especially that the galaxy is in the line art of the astronaut...but keep workin on it and great job

Day V

I agree with Chuck, both have a great concept – both can be improved.

The half tones on the shame boat are not really helping, they don’t give perspective or plasticity here and they don’t tell me where the light actually comes from. Especially on the sail it is really distracting. Maybe you can also make the boat more boat-like, because to me, it looks more like a cherry and a white triangle.

The second design: that triangle has no function there, and again it is rather distracting from the story your design is telling. I think you should put the triangle and galaxy thing away and have just the social networking guy on a plain dark background. Also try to rework the pants (torso, head, arms, hands, all look fine, but something is wrong with his chrm balls)

…great work so far Ricky, keep working on it! and don't forget that you need a good title for the second one!

thepapercut

As others have said; both are nice, but they both could be spruced up a bit. I'd remove the halftones from shame boat and move down the hand a bit to so it doesn't melt into the line work of the boat. The untitled one is the one I like more, but the triangle is a needles container that doesn't help the design any, I'd just have the galaxy background diffuse out as the astronaut floats in the center.

taz-pie

i actually quite like the triangle. otherwise it is just an astronaut in space (like the vagillion other designs out there)

airdeh

I agree with Taz, I like the triangle as well. Even though it doesn't add any function to the design, it looks interesting visually. The 2nd piece looks nicer and more complete than the first, which needs work like what everyone else has already said. I would tighten up the lines and add a bit more detail on the the sail & boat on that one. Maybe also only use one color for the waves. The white is a little distracting to me.

hm087ster

All for the 2nd design. Is that triangle a window in a spaceship?

rickyarianto

Thanks guys! really appreciate the critiques..

hm087ster said:

All for the 2nd design. Is that triangle a window in a spaceship?

not really.. just triangle..

made some other version for the astronaut but not sure which one works best...

hm087ster

No. 2 (organic bubble) but not sure whether it should have half tone effect.

FoodStampDavis
FoodStampDavis profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

I like the triangle on black.

conflicting feedback

ivanrodero

The triangle looks nicer.

whoisandrea

Just my little 2 cents worth but I think the wording is a bit awkward? Maybe "boat of shame" instead of "shame boat" take away the 'the' in the astronaut one so it becomes "Alone in Space". But it's a cool idea and it has potential to do well! (: Good luck

hellofromthemoon
hellofromthemoon profile pic Alumni

I like both versions on the black, the triangle or the halftone. I agree though that the text should be "alone in space" instead of "alone in the space."

Day V

right, alone in space sounds better. I’m still not a fan of the triangle, not only because I don’t like how it looks but also because I think it doesn’t support the story you design is telling. Maybe you can try to make the half tone effect in the other version finer so the galaxy is smoothly fading into dark? idk

huntia2713

I have to dissagree with day V. The triangle kind of makes it different from the rest. I agree with the majority that the second design is pretty good, just keep it the way it is :p. For the first one, i think the half tone isn't the best, a darker shade would look better for the dark half tones, and the lighter ones you should just get rid of overall. This is just my personal opinion, along with everybody else. If you think this is good and you don't want to change it, submit!

jamesnotjim

I think you need to mock up the triangle one to see how it fits on the tee that way you'll know if it's working. I think the design can work on either black or white tee. I'm not too sure about the first design it needs a lot of work keep going :)

PIJ69

Hello,

I feel the Astronaut design is great! I'm leaning more towards the bubble on a black background though; I feel it complements the vastness of space since the bubble doesn't necessarily "lock" the design into a shape. Also, the reflection from the helmet could include the reflection of the phone screen in addition to the great detail it already has! I think it would be a cool follow-through of the idea you have going on.

I hope it helps! It was tough deciding on one design btw.

airdeh

Shirt mock ups please! (Still liking the triangle one ;))

rickyarianto

Okay.. will upload it soon.. :) thanks for helping guys!

goliath72
goliath72 profile pic Alumni
1 design submitted -

agreed for the first and second !

chuck p comics said:

these are great concepts but need work on execution ...for the first one, the people and the words need detail and cleaning up. second one, you don't need the triangle with the galaxy, especially that the galaxy is in the line art of the astronaut...but keep workin on it and great job

Kudaman
rickyarianto said:

Love this version the most :)

and also the reflection of the phone on helmet as PIJ69 said. great stuff!

briligg

I am also pro-triangle, maybe on black. Would it be worth changing the astronaut's twitter name to MajorTom?

Underdawg
Underdawg profile pic Alumni

Triangle or not, the design on black is definitely the way to go. Nice work!

ourgraphicfaith

Keep the triangle and on black. FTW!

JZ_1211

My two cents: The classic comic book half tones you are using are too distracting. The astronaut on with the triangle on the black background looks sweet but I think the line art for him shouldn't be used as a mask because he starts to blend in with the background a bit

Day V

whats the deal with triangles anyway? is it anything more than a trend? with the astronaut, it’s not carrying any message. BTW, the reflection on the helmet is really nice, also the legs look fine now :)

Thomas Orrow
Thomas Orrow profile pic Alumni

The space design seems slightly hackneyed or clichéd to me. Although Threadless does often print tees with similar motifs. I guess it's a fineline or a balancing act between hackneyed and being recognised or popular.

That is just my own personal opinion. Good luck!

rickyarianto

Thanks for the critiques and comments...

I made "some" mockups.. lol.. but not sure is the design too big??

Day V

Nice! I like no.3 and no.5 the best (black ones) And yep, I think the prints are too big. Get that right and - if you ask me - youre ready to submit an awesome design ;)

Matias Corado

3rd one in black. For me size is ok.

chuck p comics
chuck p comics profile pic Alumni

that last one on the bottom is best!

littlem
chuck p comics said:

that last one on the bottom is best!

yup

cmasse

Very nice! You got my 5.

Chevinster

I don't understand the idea of strangle so i think 3rd black tee would looks good but i feel u can work on astronaut a bit (may be some shading{he's bit too bright comparing with the design })

caspertheghost

this design looks so nice... and so much hard work on those changes from critiques. props and high vote given =]

rickyarianto

Thanks Chevinster and Casper... yes, there are so many critiques and helps.. really appreciate them.. :)

Underdawg
Underdawg profile pic Alumni

Design really came together. Great job!

rickyarianto

Last day bump again!! :D

rickyarianto
Underdawg said:

Design really came together. Great job!

Thanks Joseph! Nice work with his royal freshness! ;)

markjosephbtan said:

Very nice! $5

Thanks Mark! I love your Lion King submission!! gave it a 5 too!

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