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New design! Come critique please!

Here is the new design I've been stirring up in my head. It's supposed to be waves inside a circle of rope with water spilling out. I was inspired by that famous japanese painting of the big waves and boats. This is the first sketch of it :)


I personally have problems with the moon, but I also don't like the empty space there. I'm also not sure if the spilling water is adding or distracting. I think it makes it more interesting that just a circle, but maybe it can be changed. Let me know what you think!!


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alphagrit

Actually I think the moon fits because it has a similar style to the waves. If you don't like it, maybe replace it with a cloud?

I really like the dripping water though

alphagrit

Actually I think the moon fits because it has a similar style to the waves. If you don't like it, maybe replace it with a cloud?

I really like the dripping water though

alphagrit

Um, i don't know why that posted twice... Sorry

Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 profile pic Alumni

I feel like it needs some more elements (context) to be a stand-alone piece. Right now it feels a bit hollow. e.g. a person o a raft would give this some adventure, while adding some sea creatures falling through could give make this a conservation theme.

octootco

I like the raft idea! Thank you Bio.

Sir Paint-a-Lot

Yeah I agree it's a great image but it needs some kind of subject to give it a meaning of sorts, just a small ship could be interesting, also I would reduce the spilling water a bit but that might just be me

moosabman
moosabman profile pic Alumni

I like

The water, the moon and the raft Idea

GOGOGO

octootco

Added a ship battling the waves and cleaned up the spilling water. The very top wave will be cleaned up. What do you all think??

freshworldwizzy

I really love this and I the way you create the focus in the ship with the in wave inside. For the moon I think you should use a full moon. I think ships, waves and full moons go.

Jackalopeology

Yes it is much much better now. To be honest, I could not even tell what it was before I read what you said it was. Give or take a moon.

Sir Paint-a-Lot

Wow that was fast it looks awesome! I know this is picky but I think the lines on the ship look too thin compared to everything else, I don't know if it's possible to thicken them a bit or add a slight outline

octootco

Thanks for pointing that out! I'll thicken them up and I'm sure it'll look better. I didn't even notice that. I have a half colored version I'm working on that I'll post soon.

evyc

OoooHHHhhhh. I like the changes a lot.

Claire Pepper

The color is boring. And the water is a bit "ligneous", not "aqueous". The ship is good.

octootco

Most current changes. Added color however I am having issues resolving the sky. Since the waters look rough I really want to convey a stormy sky, but it's just not working. I haven't found the right color combination yet. Advice is wanted, GO!

parallelish
parallelish profile pic Alumni

pretty cool, feel like it needs an anchor somewhere 8)

octootco

I feel like the clouds are the main issue here. They don't convey storm to me. Should I make them bigger, take them out? replace it with the moon idea?

jorgepizarro

I like the clouds idea but I think they need to be bigger and "fatter", like invading all the atmosphere of the drawing...

NOTBlowingSmoke

^^ agreed. make the clouds fatter.

LOVE THIS, btw.

DaveL78

this is a fresh piece ...i think the clouds need to be more stormy ..so u get those crazy waves you have in your work...

octootco

Awesome. Fatter clouds they shall be!

Funky Turtle
alphagrit said:

Actually I think the moon fits because it has a similar style to the waves. If you don't like it, maybe replace it with a cloud?

I really like the dripping water though

I also agree with the moon style as it fits this very cool and unique style of yours. As for the water I say keep it. I know this is a draft idea but maybe showing the water more a softer look with flow swishing out from the bottom. Overall love your idea and hope you develop it and can't wait to see the finished design! Great work!

Funky Turtle

My apologies should of noticed you already have! =) and looking at it now pretty friggin cool! Awesome work love the style octootco!

octootco

Shirt mock up!! Tell me what you think please! I fixed the clouds to make them look more stormy.

Dreamspace

I love the way this has come through.I am not sure about the clouds they dont seem to be like clouds like the way you have done the waves. I am just thinking if you should put a moon at the back of the boat.

octootco

I've thought about adding a moon back there, but I think it would throw off my light source D: And what do you mean by the clouds comment?

Dreamspace

The clouds doesnt look like clouds rather it appears as stones or something imho

octootco

Ohhh should I make them lighter then? Storm clouds are grey? Grey blue maybe?

ladrones
ladrones profile pic Alumni

yeah its really dark, also consider messing with your rope more, on the bottom where you have water spilling through its pretty cool but at the top, where you can see the illustration through the negative space it looks kinda unfinished, or not thought out.

good progression though, its also super big for a circle design

octootco

Yeah I was noticing it gets really dark when I place the layer as multiply to make it look like it's on the shirt. So lighten up the colors to compensate. And as for the rope, I tried to make the elements of the illustration sort of flow out of what would be the twists of the rope, to make it all look more connected. However I do see the unfinished quality it has right now. Should I just fill in more of the negative space, extend the clouds out of the rope?

And do you think it should be smaller? I think tiny center chest placed designs are such a drag.

ladrones
ladrones profile pic Alumni

not tiny, but urs is fukkin huge!

NOTBlowingSmoke

firstly, whatever you do don't put it on a white shirt. pick a tee color slightly darker or lighter than a color in your design.

i agree that the clouds need work. they are too round, and do look like rocks or something. they need to be more elongated, sort of like this.

to solve the problem of the unfinished look at the top you could have the clouds coming out of the design the way the water is at the bottom. maybe?

Ro1979

Make more swirling lines trough the clouds like you did on the right side of your drawing. do not encirkel parts of the clouds like you did on the left...that's what makes them look like rocks. And the color a darker gey maybe ?

Kniveout
Dreamspace said:

The clouds doesnt look like clouds rather it appears as stones or something imho

\m/

octootco

** So it appears I accidently saved over the editable full size file with one that is flat and extremely tiny. THIS WAS FUN BUT I GUESS I'M ON TO THE NEXT! haha oops :P

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