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Critique Please? Working on a shirt submission.

Hello, all. My first submission didn't work out as I'd hoped, so I'm trying to come up with new ideas. Best thing I currently have is this image. It's proved to be extremely popular as a print, so I'm hoping it will be equally popular as a (potential) shirt.


I did two variations on this design-- one that kept the all-black lines of the original painting, and one where I colored the lines around the rocket glow to make it a little more vibrant. I honestly can't decide which of them I like best or which would be better as a shirt.


Thoughts? The line color is my main question but I'd appreciate any ideas on the design in general.


Watch this
littlem

i like both. i almost prefer the more muted toned one.

but, i would suggest somehow fading the colors into the background color of the tee, if possible. instead of encapsulating the design in an oval. you know?

littlem

actually, maybe i like the more vibrant one, though, WITHOUT the bold line in front of the glow in front of his face. he's so cute!

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni

I like the bottom, with less black, more vibrant version. I also like the layout and think the illustration is great too. In my opinion the concept is not super strong but the art may make up for it.

Awesome first sub and welcome to the community.

littlem

i've had too much coffee again. i do like the second one best. haha

celestezul

Hey! Awesome design! I think the best is the one without the black lines (the second one) I'd absolutely rate you 5 :)

bzyglowi

Wow, I didn't expect such a quick response. :)

Thanks for the info. I'm leaning towards the bottom one as well.

I did actually have a more varied edge on the background, sort of a paint-brush effect, but I was having a hard time making it look clean and deliberate, so I went with the oval. I'll keep working on it and maybe come up with a better way to handle the edges of the design.

As far as concept goes... it's true it's not terribly strong. This one is probably more in the "fun and random" category than anything else.

TheRain-a-corn

Like everyone else I have to say I like the bottom one! ;] I think overall its a great design but I would try to have I dont know a stronger concept.

lovelivinglife

really cool... definitely like the bottom one better.

late-bloomer

i like the bottom one more. you need to work on the concept more, you now, you need to tell us a story, it cant't be just a flying turtle, it has to provoke a reaction in the viewer. for instance what would you name the design? or why is he flying? is he trying to get somewhere special? why? i think these are some questions you need to think about if you want this design to work.

littlem

i dunno about anyone else, but sometimes, i think "it can just be a flying turtle"

THERE! i said it!

bzyglowi

The title of the original painting is "Song of the Space Turtle." Unfortunately, despite a number of efforts, and several other paintings starring Space Turtle, I haven't come up with much of a story for him. (And this is odd, because usually I'm pretty good at backstory and world-building.) I know he fights a giant space octopus, and that's about it. He's remained really popular despite this, though.

Anyway, I will work on tweaking the bottom design and try to post the next version soon. :)

thomas callahan

Yeah, definitely eliminate the circle and fade the colors into the bg color of the tee. I like the second one better, and maybe you should change the color of all the black lines to match the colors more? maybe make the lines around the clouds purple and just eliminate the lines around the moon all together :D

thomas callahan
littlem said:

i dunno about anyone else, but sometimes, i think "it can just be a flying turtle"

THERE! i said it!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni

I was not saying you can't just have a flying turtle. I was saying it might do better, in scoring, with more concept. While this is a fine, even an exceptional illustration, the only things that print here with little concept have knock your nutz off art or have something truly unique about them.

evyc

I love the bottom one. Looks cleaner and more professional. Super cute design. TURTLE.

kerb23

bottom

late-bloomer

i was just speaking from my own point of view. it can be just a flying turtle, but when i'm voting i'm far more likely to give you a higher mark if the concept speaks to me somehow. and i do think that that is how a lot of people score designs here, or at least i hope so :)

evyc

Sometimes an illustration is so awesome, there doesn't need to be a concept.

bzyglowi

Okay! Here's the updated image. I got rid of the rest of the lines and changed the edges so it's a much softer shape. I think there still needs to be a little tweaking done but it's looking better. What do you guys think?

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni

Looks even better. Only thing I would do is smooth the transition, from round to straight, on the bottom left to look more like the top right transition. I also might not make the edges, on the background, so sharp. Looking great.

bzyglowi

Thanks! Yes, looking at it in small scale I noticed that the bottom left curve is not as neat as I would like it. I can also work on fuzzing the edges a little more. Glad you like it.

ImAGoldenGod

I love this entirely too much. I think it does have a concept and a story. The poor little guy was insanely bored with his slow pace and so, laboring through countless nights along the shore (he looks like a sea turtle) with no sleep, he was able to create this awesome jet pack. Now that he's defied nature and is able to rocket like no sea turtle has before, he is now an inspiration too all slow moving sea life.

That's what I got from it at least =) I too agree that your updates look a lot better. In terms of the designs shape...check out this guy Robson Borges He's pretty much the master of blending shirt with design. Maybe there's not a definite shape around yours but more cloud shapes using the shirt color?

bzyglowi

Definitely some good ideas there. His designs are a lot more complicated than this one so it's easier to work with the negative space, but maybe I'll try some stippled designs to work with the clouds. Food for thought, anyway. :) Thanks for the link!

MRRhoades

I love the design! Looks great, I don't know how you are planning on printing, but i would suggest to take the purple sky out, make it completely transparent. So all you have are the clouds, the turtle, firery stuff, and the moon. And if this color scheme is your favorite you can simply throw it on a purple shirt for the same effect--then if you print on other colored shirts it would have a completely new feel and make each new colored shirt more original. Just an idea :) Great work!

Tag Apparel

I totally dig the update, love the design. The dark lines looked to harsh for me. I totally agree with MRRhoades regarding the removing the purple and making it a transparent design with the character, the clouds, and the moon. You are opening up more possibility for the "buyer" if you make your design versatile with different color backgrounds. I would totally buy this, but I could totally see more appeal if it was on a black or dark blue shirt. One's eye is drawn to the turtle when there is less color in the negative space. **Just a side note.. I kind of want to see the turtle as a pig.. and play of the 'When pig's fly!" saying. lol Awesome job!

Crosk

Superb design, the bottom illustration of the two is far better than the top.

Sam MacGregor

The first thought that came to mind, when I saw your initial design is that I was looking through a telescope up toward the sky and saw this flying turtle. I really like the latest iteration of your design. I think it would be great, if you could provide us with an image of how you see your design on the t-shirt. Given your latest graphic, I see it located on the bottom right of a t-shirt, with the turtle flying up toward the moon on the left. Awesome work!

littlem

nice improvements, though i'd still love to see it all blended better into the color of the tee! ;)

and, yes, i'd also love to see a placement mock-up! getting close!

bzyglowi

Hey guys. Haven't had a chance to get back to this for a few days, but I finally have another version:

I'm pretty happy with the trail of 'bubbles' on the edge, but I'm thinking about extending it a little to increase the 'comet' feel.

I'll do a t-shirt mockup later tonight maybe, showing the image on a t-shirt and on multiple color shirts (purple and black). I'd do it now but my computer is being incredibly slow; it cannot handle both Photoshop and Firefox at once. >_>

I'm generally planning on having the image be pretty much centered towards the top of the shirt; fairly standard placement. I'm not really a fan of t-shirts that have stuff at the bottom or on the side of the shirt; I feel like the image gets lost even if it's cool design.

bzyglowi

Hey guys. Haven't had a chance to get back to this for a few days, but I finally have another version:

I'm pretty happy with the trail of 'bubbles' on the edge, but I'm thinking about extending it a little to increase the 'comet' feel.

I'll do a t-shirt mockup later tonight maybe, showing the image on a t-shirt and on multiple color shirts (purple and black). I'd do it now but my computer is being incredibly slow; it cannot handle both Photoshop and Firefox at once. >_>

I'm generally planning on having the image be pretty much centered towards the top of the shirt; fairly standard placement. I'm not really a fan of t-shirts that have stuff at the bottom or on the side of the shirt; I feel like the image gets lost even if it's cool design.

bzyglowi

Ugh. Sorry for the double post. Threadless gave me an error and I didn't realize it had posted.

bzyglowi

Okay, here's the design on some t-shirt templates. For a final submission I may make the design just a little smaller, not sure yet.

octootco

I like the black tee's contrast, but the purple shirt is definitely the way to go. I LOVE THIS DESIGN. Great work, and good job taking the advice of others to improve it.

octootco

I like the black tee's contrast, but the purple shirt is definitely the way to go. I LOVE THIS DESIGN. Great work, and good job taking the advice of others to improve it.

bzyglowi

Thanks. :) I'm an illustrator by trade but the last few months I've been doing some graphic design work, and that's definitely helped me see how small changes can really improve the look of something overall.

I definitely appreciate all the comments and tips.

Fredthecow

I love it on Black. you did a nice gradient bubble effect around the edge :) I would buy this shirt 5$

Heck I would have bought it if you never changed it as well (Dont worry the changes do make it better, Im just saying the illustration is so cute I would have bought it. End of story)

Beautiful Illustration, beautiful concept.

bzyglowi

Thanks. :)

Unfortunately since I looked at Threadless' new TOS, I don't think I can actually submit this design here, as I've been selling it as a print for years and I am not inclined to stop selling that print and give all the rights to the image to Threadless. Space Turtle is my company mascot, so I really don't want to sell the copyright away.

I do want to make this shirt a reality, though, so I'll be looking into some other sites and possibilities. I will post a link here if there's more updates. :)

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