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Sun v. Moon

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ramirez323

Sorry i accidentally deleted my critiquernThis is a newer version of itrnI made the stars part of the conflict and i am still working on the rest.rnComments??

pplasticbunnie

It doesn't look like they're competing at all, or that they're even aware of the others existence. They both seem pissed at the earth, in that case we're doomed.

Try playing with the positions of the of the 3 and the placement of the pupils. Could make a world of difference

My designs in the running, vote if you get a chance please.

mrskitty

At the moment it doesn't look like they are fighting with eachother. Is the earth meant to be the ref?? Maybe give him a wistle?? You've also got some amazing detail on the moon but little on the sun and earth. I actually like the simplicity of the sun and eath so maybe tone down the moon?? Also maybe move the earth up a bit so it looks like it's not the one they are focusing on :D but cute idea!

Could you have a look at my design and help me??

http://www.threadless.com/critique/100640/Shooting_Star

matthewcramer

This is looking good. I think yo could draw the stars so they are more obviously looking toward the earth. I would also like to see this design on a black shirt or something alittle darker. check out my second draft

ramirez323

New version!! Comments, vote, any inprovements i need to make??

RaRaMalum

Nice idea, the moon is a very different style than the earth and sun.

morayven

Funny idea and you have a good start to your illustration. I think you can take it further and really emphasize that the earth is being torn between the sun and the moon (although scientifically speaking I'm not sure the earth is torn between the two as much as the moon is torn between the two... silly moon....). I like that your placement falls off the tee and think you just need to take this a bit further. Keep at it!

I have a submission up for scoring and would welcome your vote – thank you.

RaRaMalum

Isn't the earth a Shutterstock image? Here

birjolaxew

Interesting concept. The execution could use some work, though.

As of right now, both the moon and sun look directly at Earth, almost as if though they were angry at it. Normally the two parts of a conflict will stare at eachother, not the subject they are competing for. You'll definitely have to make it much clearer that the two are fighting eachother, not Earth.

I like how you got rid of the details on the Moon. Those definitely didn't fit in at all. I still think you have a few unecesarry elements, such as the stars, that do nothing but confuse the viewer. Focus on the conflict and delete everything else. Since most people will only see this shirt for a few seconds while walking past someone wearing it, having to see the stars take away precious time.

Also, why does the Earth have arms while no other object has? You have to keep some consistency, and that part needs work. It'd be way better if you gave the Sun and Moon arms, and had them pull Earth towards themselves.

If you have time, could you score my design over here?

JLK

I like the celestial theme. This version is better than version one, good improvement. I can't really add to what's been mentioned already except that consistency in style of all the elements would make your graphic more cohesive. Looking forward to the next version! If you have time, would you help me out by scoring my submission in the running? Thanks so much!

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