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Over Prepared

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Danielson352

Ahh thank really sucks, accidently deleted my critique, I' reposting all the versions so you can still see the process, Made a mistake here..

Danielson352

ok so at this step it was really just people asking for a bigger design.

Danielson352

This was just the same design as version 1 just bigger

Danielson352

The comments here were all that i needed to crop close and stuff..

Danielson352

Ok back to the current version, after i deleted it by accident..

Changes: 1. Added a hose for the scuba diver. 2. Extended the hoses farther to the right (to lead to a O2 tank and water spicket on the back). 3. Added inflatable things to the pool. 4. Cleaned up the croping, shading, and little boy.

Give any thoughts Please! and thanks for all the previous ones! (that are gone by accident)

Danielson352

P.s. that white spot on the divers arm was not intentional and i can fix it if need be. same with the boys goggles and his elbow area.

Danielson352

yeah what kinda dumming down are you thinking? i feel like if i lose to much of the shading on the scuba guy it won't look like hes wearing a big heavy suit and have less of an impact. idk just hinkin here..

Titilayo

I agree with fezbeast. Great idea, but go a little less detailed. Maybe more cartoony than sketchy. Fun though, I like it!

Danielson352

alright cool thanks! ps. im not sure about the new angle, i like that way it compares the two in size

lessfamousjesus

@Danielson

I get what you're saying; If you simplified the diver too much the impact would be gone. Is the shirt supposed to be sad? Currently their posture makes them look a little forlorn. Imho that improves the design, but around here you're more likely to print something a little brighter.

Or, (this idea just came into my head and I may not have thought it through, but) consider removing ALL detail from everything except the diver. Literally reducing the rest of it to "simpsons" style cartoon, but leaving the diver as he is. I think that might put greater emphasis on him and perhaps improve the shirt as a result.

Danielson352

@lessfamousjesus, I was going more for a "what? You've never seen anyone in a diving suit before?" look. But thanks I'll draw some small pictures and try it out.

Danielson352

This is still the same design just with a background color and some polka dots

Danielson352

seems more optimistic in this one to me

Danielson352

Make sure to look over the last three designs because they're all the same. Leave your thoughts please!

Persnicket

I'm not sure how I feel about the polka dots. I like the idea, but not the execution. They need to feel more blended into the small pool instead of pasted on top. They probably don't even need to be multicolored. You've got so much shading, it probably look more uniform to make them a dark shade of blue. Then, they would add a pattern without drawing so much attention to themselves.

Danielson352

Yeah that was my attempt at brightening the mood, I think just blue shaded dots would be better

Danielson352

Me thinking out loud here, but I don't think the overly detailed thing is much of an issues when it's on a white shirt, idk I'm just not thinking that it's "too much" thoughts?

BenKerr

The design looks a little blurry. I like the concept though

SANDERSinc

i likeit, but i think it needs color variation and less detailed, more graphic

Dizk

I liked it more without the spots on the pool to be honest

Danielson352

Yeah everyone can stop saying that, I'm not putting dots on it

Purple Cactus

I like the idea and the kind of sombre mood that it has. I don't like the polka dots at all. They look like you just added them as an after thought and don't go with the rest of the design. There is a lot of detail there as others have said and I quite like that but I think that the design needs to be large for those details to show up. Maybe a placement at the bottom of the shirt and make it larger so that the diver goes up the right side of the shirt. Just some thoughts.

I have a design up for critique at the mo. Please take a peek if you have a bit of time

speakerine
speakerine profile pic Alumni

it is great! i dont like tpoo much the colored points. You could ad a shadow under the pool and the wire good luck!

Danielson352

Haha alright thanks for all the commnts and again, Forster not doing the dots it was just to see what it would look like roughly. Next version will have some color and we'll see how it looks @purple cactus, yeah I like it to I didn't think it was really overly detailed, and I'll try your placement

Danielson352

Hey this is all colored, its rough i know. i'm not really sure i like it..

Danielson352

This is kinda a complete design including the back of the shirt. I made it bigger on the model also.

Thoughts and comments. Thanks.

also there is a colored version that i put up before this one, check it out too.

Danielson352

ALSO, I think that i am going to change the name to Nostalgia what do you think

kmariee90

I really like this :) great job

holydolphin

maybe, just maybe, try using a bright background instead of white T shirt to lift the actual artwork more (bright yellow comes to mind)

kmariee90

Oh i forgot to add that i like the name change idea...Nostalgia sounds good

Anloma
Anloma profile pic Alumni

i like it! I like the color too, but how about using a warmer range of colours?

Danielson352

thanks everyone, and yeah, im not sure if it adds or takes away with the wrap around.

Danielson352

Just trying out two different colors for shirts. same design still,
So White, Light Yellow, or Light Blue?

Persnicket

I would stick with the monochromatic blue one, and I like it much better on light yellow. I like the wrap around a lot. The only thing I can think of is that it's a little big. Could you nudge it smaller and put it more in the bottom right hand corner. It's kind of overwhelming right now. It's definitely getting close!

Boycey

carry on, but maybe add a splash of colour over the top. Also, try and get rid of the white speckles.

It's a good idea, but it looks like your having some troubles illustrating it. Carry on and it should get better eventually.

Wilfur

wow~it is a good idea~ from the version 1 to 8 you have alot of improve, i prefer in white tees~

Danielson352

I'm thinking of doing an even lighter, really pale yellow, seems like it would fit well to me.

Purple Cactus

This is coming along so well. I really like the wrap around and it looks great in version 7 on the white tee. I think the strong coloured tees don't work as well. Maybe the pale yellow would be cool, like you say. I would also say that the placement could even go a bit lower, so that the pool is right at the bottom of the shirt. Version 7 rocks and with a lower placement it would just be the little bit more unique.

The only other thing I can see is the oxygen bottle and hose on the back look a little lighter than the design on the fron. Maybe just get the shadings to match. Love it though and its come a long way. Can't wait for this to be submitted and see how it does!!

Danielson352

Ok so, for the final draft, I think it has to go a tiny bit smaller, a nudge down, I will try the pale yellow but I'm kinda partial to the white myself, and then I will fix the back (it was a really quick sketch when I did it).

And a big thank you to everyone whose helped me out!

dashalu

I like your idea. It might even look nice on white or gray. Also, I would love to see the actual design bigger (not placed on a shirt... so that it is easier to critique it). Thank you for your comment on mine!

Danielson352

@Dashalu, if you look back there is a version on a white shirt and a version with just the design blown up

Danielson352

this is threadless's cream colored shirt. i also made the design smaller. idk i think i like it a little bigger

Danielson352

Bump! final comments? it'll be a little bigger, but should it be on Cream colour, or White?

Musarter
Musarter profile pic Alumni

I agree that it would look great on silver. I also think cleaning it up helped a lot.

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