Close
One second...

Samurai Sundae

7 color design. Still working on the last image. As this is my very first submission to threadless, please give me any tips, comments, ideas,... whatever. What do you think?

Watch this
Page:
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
Berbs42

7 color design. Still working on the last image. As this is my very first submission to threadless, please give me any tips, comments, ideas,... whatever. What do you think?

ilya yas

the wave and cloud in this position dont work i think..

rwelker7

I think the title explains it perfectly. The wave and clouds make the shape of a sundae with the sun as a cherry on top. Maybe move the clouds up slightly to make the "ice cream" fuller.

ilya yas

ho... took me a while to get it.. :D my bad..

thelastmagician

ah ffffuck
i just got it.

sorry about the whole 'perspective thing.'
looks good the way it is!

Tigerbill

Sweet. Great style.

Maybe for the 8th colour, a light cream for the sail (or use half tones of the tan colour). It'd make the sail a little more subtle.

Tigerbill

Ah-- I only just got the sundae too.

I think you need to shade the missing part of the glass (even if its a light blue that's only slightly noticeable against the shirt).

Cool.

Berbs42

Still a 7 color design. Before I finish the back image (slide 3) I thought I'd take some of the input I've gotten so far. I raised the clouds' "ice cream" and made it thicker and added gulls to imply the sundae's "glass" highlights. I may still use an eighth color (cream) for the sail, but wanted to see if anyone had other ideas on where an eighth color could work.

New thoughts?

Berbs42

Still a 7 color design. Only changed the first slide as follows (2nd and 3rd slides remain the same):

Before I finish the back image (slide 3) I thought I'd take some of the input I've gotten so far. I raised the clouds of "ice cream" and made them thicker, as well as adding gulls to imply the sundae's "glass" highlights. I may still use an eighth color (cream) for the sail, but wanted to see if anyone had other ideas on where an eighth color could work.

New thoughts?

Berbs42

Do you mean all of the white is too stark? Or just in a particular section (clouds, surf, sail). Unfortunately I haven't figured out halftones in flash. Will have to look that up. It might work.

rwelker7

I don't think I would have saw the seagulls making the bumps in the glass.... Don't get rid of them though, i like them still. Keep working it. Coming together nicely.

taylatay

Very creative design.

I say; GO FOR THE CREAM SAIL!
it's looking good.

and um i have a question, could you explain/tell me how you do slides. I'm new to the whole thing so I sorta clueless...
thanks

Berbs42

I'll post the link here. The flash template was provided by Manos.

taylatay

okay thanks.

ste j

lovin that wave

OrangeSensation1

Hey Berbs!

Thanks for your comments. Nice first design you have there! I don't actually have any suggestions for you right now....how about giving the samurai a sword or will this cut into the 8 colour limit?

ill-technique

I think that the concept would be more clear if there was a little more definition on the right side below the bird. Otherwise it's great

Rey Rey

I would say make the boat / samurai bigger so you can see him clearer (hes awesome) and maybe clean up some of those blue lines under the boat, otherwise love the idea, Id think about placing it more in the lower left side of the shirt rather than front on but thats just me

Chris Rowson

I really love this. One thing bugs me though - those seagulls look a little on the large sidge compared to the guy and boat.

Please score and comment on my recent submission, thanks.

FrenchFriesVacation

yup probably the samurai bigger would tell the story better ;)

Berbs42

Rey, FrenchFries - I'll do a version with the samurai and boat a bit larger, and work a bit on the blue lines as said. The original concept was simply an arrangement that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of these parts were meant to be entirely unrelated to a sundae (that, and I also originally wanted it to appear like an ukiyo-e woodblock print, but the more I worked on it, the more cartoony it became). I didn't intend on telling a story, but with the addition of a second image for the back, this does become a basic story (2 related images together = sequential art), so let's see what a larger character will do to the composition.

Berbs42

Rey, FrenchFries - I will try a version with te samurai and boat a bit larger, and I'll work on the blue lines. I hadn't intended on telling a story at first but with the addition of a second image on the back it becomes a basic storyline (2 related images together = sequential art).

The original concept was simply an arrangement that depicts an ice cream sundae, and all of the parts of said arrangement would be unrelated to a sundae (that and I started off wanting it to look like an ukiyo-e print, but the more I worked on it the more cartoony it became).

Berbs42

Doh! I didn't think the first one went through, so I tried remembering what I wrote! Comment-Fail.

ill-technique, Chris Rowan - the gulls were added only to depict the highlights from the ridges that are on a sundae cup because it did feel that the right side was missing some of that "cup" definition. I hope that the implied line from the largest seagull to the sail is enough. Realistically, though, yeah, I would have made them smaller and further in the background.

Q: Would the idea of making the samurai and boat larger help with this? a larger sail might help with the implied outer edge of the "glass".

Thoughts?

Berbs42

Do you mean to do that to make it more like ukiyo-e?

I figured that at this point, it would be best to keep more of the cartoon feel and less of the woodblock concept that I started with (well before I submitted for critique and only in the earliest sketches).

DezHimself

sweet piece.the top of the waves are a bit hard to make out with the clouds,though.

Berbs42

Here's an updated version:
- Samurai and boat a bit larger,
no work has been done yet on the blue lines
Bigger? Is it it now too big? Placement on the wave?
- Cream sail (8 color design now)
still need to find time to try to figure out halftones in ai
is this a good cream color? less harsh than the white before?
- Pulled the "ice cream" cloud away from the wave a bit so you can see some sky
also thickened up the edges of the wave near the cloud to make it distinct
(they should appear to be slightly closer on the viewing plane)
- Gulls are also slightly bigger to emphasize the edge of the "glass"
although, not as large of an increase as the samurai and boat
- Friend suggest black t-shirt so the third slide is the design on black.... Like it? Hate it?
Still open for more fine tuning back and forth.
PLEASE let me know what your thoughts are!! Thanks!!

Berbs42

I said I was open to more "fine-tuning", but really I want to take into consideration ANY suggestions you guys have!!

Even if it'll make a ginormous change!
Again, Thank you... Having a ton of fun with this.

stazi

one question: is the yellow thing above the guys head part of the sail or his hat. Because if it was part of his head it really blends in with the sail

Berbs42

It is indeed part of his helmet.
Anyone have suggestions on how to separate? (I'm now down to the eight colors depicted)

SunnieBunnie

A shadow behind it, maybe???

Berbs42

Maybe... Which color?

ste j

mayb have a thin black line around the whole samurai as his hands are mergin into the background too

Berbs42

Or maybe even a halftone shadow of which color?

Berbs42

Thin black line? Worth a shot!
(I intentionally made his right hand bigger since the outline was the color of the boat... but I could always try black)

kohrtoons

Im not digging the black, I prefer the blue.

I think that the problem with the sail is that the edge that is closer to us should be higher than the back edge. Also the shadow going across it is confusing, esp. when the fork on his helmut is the same color, what if the fork were red?

taylatay

Stick with the blue.
Black just looks funny.

I deff think you need to outline the little man's hand, get rid of that thing on his helmet.

the black outline? have you tried making it the same dark blue that outlines the clouds and wave? It looks good how it is, but perhaps to make it blend better?

just suggestions to think about.
thanks for your help with the flash
good luck designing!

Berbs42

Sticking with the blue background! (unless I hear otherwise (or other suggestions for t-shirt colors)

Will outline to samurai's hands.

Regarding the black outline: Do you mean I should change the color of the outline around the boat and sail from black to blue? That black outline?

Berbs42

And I was happy to help with the flash!! Good luck to you as well!!

OrangeSensation1

Hey Berbs

I would stick to the blue...looks way better.

Yeka Haski

ithink to much details on waves. they combine with clouds

Shado-X

um , the only thing i noticed was the sun in the clouds, it looks like it is in front of the clouds, idk if that was on perpous, but it looks a bit out of place, Its really cool though!

Id appreciate it if you'd take a look at mine as well!
http://www.threadless.com/critique/49993/A_Sweet_Encounter

Berbs42

It was indeed on purpose; I wanted to evoke the image of a cherry on top of a sundae.
Would it lose the this appearance if I placed it as it would be in the real world? (half-hidden behind the clouds? and would doing so make it less cartoon-like?)

Page:
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
No account?