Close
One second...

  • by skaw
  • posted May 18, 2006
  • 52 Comments

Watch this
Bramish
Bramish profile pic Alumni

They both have their ups and downs.

Clunk

*View

Stevethegreat

I'd rather be with somebody but it's certainly nice to be "free" as well

msm

great advice from Sixwhitelies ... don't think about it too much ... on the other hand, when you do think a relationship doesn't feel right, don't go with it ... leave it ... you could save yourself many wasted years ... ah hem ... or so I've heard, or something

maddingo

i think personally, it is dumb to pass on a relationship with a kewl chick cause your afraid of getting hurt.....

plus your 21.8 fuck it get hurt a few times it builds character.

i'd got my heart CRUSHED many years ago now by my former fiance .... i was so madly in love with that girl... but i learned a awful lot from that experience (like learning to realize when what i wanted someone to be, wasn't always what they really are.) but blah blah blah....

Now I am engaged to a girl 10x times kewler than my ex, so whatever go with the flow.... you know take it slow, talk with the other person figure out what they are looking for and see it it is compatible with what you are looking for...

.02

oh yeah and don't take advice from the internet on matters of love too seriously.

catdogpigduck
catdogpigduck profile pic Alumni

the hurt is always worth it. You need to try both before you get real serious.

littlem

It's important to be with someone who shares your views on relationships.

Pank

littlem can I date one of your threadless daughters?

littlem

sure, but you'll have to make sure it's okay with her first:)

Pank

no forget it, i was joking... i'm too shy

littlem

whuuuT??? tell me who it is!?!?!?!

steve_swartz

i found that relationships come to you when you don't need them anymore. when you need them, you tend to force them or repel them (depending on how your neediness plays out).

in the long run, we all have a deep need to be related. we are pack animals. i hope you'll have the chance for a good partnership eventually. but, there's no hurry.

Pank

I won't tell ya littlem... muaaahahahahahaaaa!!! bet you ain't going to sleep tonight

littlem

FINE!!!!!
no cookies for you!

Clunk

All good. I wasnt looking for advice just your views on it thats all. Me and this girl agreed to take it slow i see her the best of 3 days a week. She seems happy with that so am i. Just gonna let things progress and see what happens.

calvin182

if you're single you can mingle but if involved your problems are solved...

nealteak

i prefer to be single, i think... at least for right now. guys my age are idiots. gotta wait that out, i guess.

Whole Grains

I'd agree/disagree with you if I knew what your age was.

nealteak
  1. at this point the guys seem to be either stuck in immature mode living like fratties, totally settled down and married off, or too caught up in getting their career in gear. it's like i missed a window. gotta wait for them to grow up or get divorced.
She Says So

Well im in an amazing relationship (10 months now) and I still somethimes think what it would be like to be single again, but when you're with a person you feel at one with or just so comfortable that you can picture yourself with them in 5, 10, 15 years time the idea of being happy and single seems slighty surreal....

Although saying that a have a few friends who seem happy enough to 'go with the flow' and enjoy single life...but I think its important you find somebody to experience new stuff with.

About being hurt, before I was in this relationship I have 2 or 3 near misses, the last of which put me off relationships again, or off guys moreover for about 2 years...

But when it comes down to it, its definitly not worth turning down something that could grow into something beautiful just because some asshole has messed you about before.

smilinsara

with one you get regular sex and with one you don't. case closed.

msm

nealteak, I wouldn't wait too long ... they're hooking up longer now and for keeps ... pretty soon you'll be picking from the old guys looking to blow their money before they die on a hot young chick or young guys that are, well, young guys ... you don't want those options, do you?

nealteak

lol. no.

maverlicious

Clunk> I think I am kinda seeing someone with the same deal as you and it leaves me confused cuz I dont know if we are even dating. Yet he reckons we are like a couple.. just that it isnt official. Maybe you can explain to me.

maverlicious

I've been hurt before (i should know.. i went out with a guy for 8.5 years before he screwed it up for us)... so I know what's its like to be scared of relationships. And I think the guy had a similar experience. But I mean, sometimes.. its all about just taking the risk if you think its worth the shot.. right?

narcissus_poeticus

i say, fuck relationships.

spinster for life.

nealteak

we can form a gang, narcissus. spinstas.

maverlicious

i was in the "men are bastards" dark period.. think even i scared my own brothers and dad cuz i was really bitter.

Rock Deputy
Rock Deputy profile pic Alumni

I've found that the younger you are the more fun it is to be single and the older you get the more pressure there is not to be single.

mercyskye

$.02 follows, ymmv...

I think relationship success depends on how comfortable you are with yourself. Sounds dumb, of course, you know that, right? Well, think about all the wonderful hookups we have where we tell ourselves "Oh, s/he's got this [insert presently-mildly-annoying habit here] going on, but we're soul mates!"... only to find later that we are making ourselves miserable by not standing up for ourselves, or putting our own wants/needs/desires on the back burner. No, not everyone ends up like that, but I know that many relationships start OUT like that... and too many continue in that way.

Yes, there is the element of 'give and take.' Don't romanticize it, though. Know who you are. Do you like wooing people, or do you prefer to be wooed? Can you tolerate someone who gossips? Are you a foodie and if so, could you get along with a picky eater? Sloppy or meticulous? Do you like poetry? Can you stand it if someone plays devil's advocate with your most hallowed beliefs?

Often, when matters of the heart (or lust) take over, we put ourselves to the side and just enjoy the moment. You know what? There's a place for that, and it's fine if that's what you both want. But to make 'long term' work, you need to know what makes you YOU and be prepared to stand up for it b/c otherwise you're in a one-way relationship.

So, here you are trying to figure out if you should even begin a relationship. Why not? They don't kill people. As long as you are true to yourself, you will have far fewer regrets. A little hurt goes a long way--sounds cliche but it's true. Don't expect to get hurt, but if you do, learn from it and don't turn into a curmudgeon. :-)

nealteak

2 legit 2 commit. payce.

littlem

a good relationship allows you to be yourself whenever you want to be.
it's nice to have someone you can always count on, for anything.

blythed

Don't stress yourself out by labelling it. If you're having fun and you both seem to be on the same page, just enjoy it in the moment. The title is entirely irrelevant. Do whatever makes you happy while being comfortable at the same time. These things tend to naturally evolve on their own into whatever they're going to be so it is just a matter of taking it day by day. Don't put limitations on yourself, but don't force yourself either.

Rock Deputy
Rock Deputy profile pic Alumni

my advice... cling to it, cling to it as hard as you can! Let them know how deserate you are to make this work, FOREVER, and that you will not be able to go on living if things go wrong.
Remember - you're whole being and existance is dependant on this person and the farther away they are the more you die inside.

It'll all work out after that.

littlem

That's terrible, F-Deputy!!
:)

c!nQ$

i'm in the same place you are but i think i'm going to go for it because i know regret will get the best of me later

Verdana

I'm gonna repeat what a lot of people have said--you don't need to label it. Go out a few times, and see where it leads.

Nothing's set it stone unless you put it there.

c!nQ$

if it doesn't work out then meh...move on i'm sure you can find plenty of people that want to date you

nealteak

just tell maverlicious you love her already and blog happily every after. ;)

littlem

nealteak: hehehehhehehhe^

Rock Deputy
Rock Deputy profile pic Alumni

maybe maverlicious isn't the girl for you?

maverlicious

laughing i heard that.

Rock Deputy
Rock Deputy profile pic Alumni

cling Micheal... CLING!

littlem

stop it CP!

maverlicious

hahha. I dun even know him!

Rock Deputy
Rock Deputy profile pic Alumni

I understand what you mean... sometimes I feel like I don't 'know' my girlfriend.. I mean, who really 'knows' anybody?

radiostaticstar

i'm ready for the spinstas for life club, although i think i'm technically called a "confirmed bachelor".

maverlicious

you guys are a riot. =)

No account?
Join Us