The Last Words of F.S. Tuberosum
I know what you're thinking: Who's the REAL killer here? Well, I'm not sure, but I've hired ace detective Orenthal James Simpson to find out! (What is this, two weeks ago? Are we still making these jokes?) He is highly experienced in sleuthing out "REAL killers", so with him on the case, we'll have this mystery figured out in no time!!! (and by "no time" I mean like, "12+ years and he was the one responsible the whole time. YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS: OJ SIMPSON TOTALLY INVENTED THE PROCESS OF PARTIALLY HYDROGENATING OIL." What a jerk, I tells ya'.) For more stupid fun comments, please see my blog post.