help improve this pleaseeee


it's terrible. please help me fix it

Watch this
lxromero
lxromero profile pic Staff
I actually like the type treatment and it's inclusion in the design but it is a tad small maybe. shorten the light beams or remove them altogether maybe to make the lightbulb more prominent. Otherwise someone will have to get really close to read it on a shirt.
dnice25
dnice25 profile pic Alumni
I agree with the comments above. If this is for the "short but not so sweet" comp you should keep it as simple as possible. You might not need the light beems at all
EnoLa72
yea. i'm not sure how to include the type. i just threw it around the lightbulb. any suggestions as to how to make it more prominent aside from making it larger? where to put it?
EnoLa72
also, i added the light beams cause i thought it would be too "long" and bland if it was just the bulb. is that a no for that then?
dnice25
dnice25 profile pic Alumni
Personally I like where the type is located now, I don't think it needs to be moved.
EnoLa72
also should i keep the grunge eraser marks? or keep it clean without them?
lxromero
lxromero profile pic Staff
I think the only thing you need to try at this point is maybe removing the light beams and putting it on a shirt to see how it looks. The type looks good as-is and the distressed look works
EnoLa72
I got swamped at work. Sorry for the delay. I'm not sure removing the light rays completely is beneficial. So I made them smaller and closer and removed the bottom one. Also removed the grunge erase marks. Or should I put it back? Thoughts please :D
MidnightCoffee
MidnightCoffee profile pic Alumni
This is cool, but I gotta agree with Romero and Dnice. Right now the light beams are attracting the most attention. I suggest making them even smaller, or taking them out all together, and increasing the size of the text. Depending on how big you made the design, you might be able to get away with just making the lightbulb all together bigger (thereby upping the text size) if you remove or drastically downsize the light rays. The grunge worked well, in my opinion.
wilbury
I agree with @MidnightCoffee, my eyes have no idea where to look. It takes me a minute to rest on the bulb. I really like the idea. Your execution is really good. I'd just kill the beams.
EnoLa72
i'm too attached to the rays haha. is this version better? or do they really need to go? I appreciate every single one of you for the help
sharchen
The rays are definitely cool looking but that's maybe why they're distracting. You could try losing the little "+" elements and make them just lines or maybe try some sort of halftone glow to replace them?
EnoLa72
https://www.threadless.com/designs/expire I submitted it. I don't wanna change it anymore haha. Thank you all for your help! I honestly appreciate it!! <3