Never Trust an Owl

Design by Starrfold

Never Trust an Owl by Starrfold on Threadless
2.66 Avg Score
0% Funded
519 Votes
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  • 2.66 Avg Score
  • 519 scores


Starrfold profile pic Artist

It is clear to most of us now that owls must be stopped. This shirt clearly illustrates the most popular reasons why you simply cannot trust the creatures. Narrowing the reasons down to the core 6 most important was not an easy task. We all know that there are at least 12,000 reasons why you cannot trust an owl. I will list a few more that did not make it onto the shirt... 1) They flap their wings into your ice cream cone (when you are holding an ice cream cone). 2. The population of owls doubles every six weeks and the air will soon be far too polluted with owl dander for us to breathe. 3. Owls have night vision that is so strong that it borders on x-ray vision and they can sorta see your underwear--this is a HUGE invasion of human/owl privacy.

I hope you will vote and soon wear this shirt proudly... we simply must protect the environment (by destroying owls)!

7 regular inks, 1 glow in the dark ink
Large design on front, small design on back (design on back is optional... but I love it!)

Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 profile pic Alumni

haha, cool. I think it needs some kind of title on the front to convey the concept. something like... "Never trust an owl"

alexmdc profile pic Staff

very good!!!!

YaaH profile pic Alumni


FRICKINAWESOME profile pic Alumni

This is positively giddy with fun details and goofiness! Really fun design and not-so-factoids. Love the back print as well, although i could see that printed near the back of the neck. Nice work and great to see you back!


soloyo profile pic Alumni


vintz profile pic Alumni



WOW... I love it,

bengineer profile pic Alumni

hahaha, so awesome! $5

Starrfold profile pic Artist

Thanks for all of your comments and support so far! You guys are great, and it's good to back.

In celebration of my first submission in 519 days, I have decided to hold a contest.

To the person that posts the funniest, most off-the-wall, or most truthful reason not to trust an owl... I will send a mostly awesome prize pack, including a $50 Threadless gift certificate, among other goodies. The prize pack will make you cooler in the eyes of your fellow owl haters and maybe even lovers. It also includes a few items to protect you from the winged nuisances. I will send out the prize pack to the writer of the best comment on my design as soon as it has ended, regardless of whether it prints or not.

Details of the prize pack are given on my latest blog post.

Good luck and have fun!

thegoodpope profile pic Alumni

I like the style, reminds me of the art on Wes Anderson Critrion DVD's... 4

rbthatcher profile pic Alumni

Owls can turn their heads an unGodly thanks!





How can it be possible to trust an animal with eyes those big? Just look at them! They must see all. Who knows, they might be able to see through walls, etc. Then they'd really see all. That's just creepy.


Thats really cool!


I don't trust owls because they have something else associated to their name: OWLs, the Purdue Online Writing Lab. Who knows, maybe owls are secret agents of the OWL sent on a writing mission. They'll fly into your home, kidnap you, and take you to a far away place where they force you to write constantly. This is what gives little children owlphobia. Beware!


Love your style !

Starrfold profile pic Artist

Thanks, everyone!

Thegoodpope: That's a really nice compliment, I love Wes Anderson. Thank you:)

Keep the funny/crazy reasons coming!

Jemae profile pic Alumni

haha! ..yes they are! 5$! :))

blue sparrow
blue sparrow profile pic Alumni

Wonderfully done


lol@professor oswald owl's comments. i need to win because i am the leader of the owl club and the fee to join so happens to be a $50 gift certificate.

$5 and i'll post this on the club page :)


owls never send Get Well cards. they are such self-centered jerks. probably because they are so devilishly handsome...


owls love anchovies on their pizzas. and they'll order them just so you won't want to eat any of the pizza.


owls often drive without a license. they have been known to hoot at pretty girls in a most lewd manner (probably something to do with the x-ray vision).

jess4002 profile pic Alumni



owls will outbid you at the last second on eBay and then not pay (their credit is terrible). ok, i'm done ;)


Or am i? Owls will order porn at a hotel and charge it to your credit card. They steal prom dates, even the ugly ones. And they tell all your friends that you still pee the bed.


I like the one with the kitten head!


Owls practically look like the devil. Or wait. Maybe because they ARE the devil. And we all know that trusting the devil is. The last thing you'd want to trust the devil with is your soul. So, I'm pretty sure you're not going to want to trust your soul with an owl either. They'd probably eat it or something.


Owls often make outrageous claims, like saying they created Niagara Falls or that they invented the George Foreman grill.


Everyone thinks that the owl is smart; however, this is a big misunderstanding. The human brain (1,300-1,400 grams) is noticeably larger than the owl brain (2.2 grams). With this fact established, you're probably thinking,"So what." or "Who cares?" Well, you should care!!! This new bit of data reveals to us that owls are relatively stupid. The phrase, "Dumb as a doornail” should be immediately changed to "Obtuse as an owl." The whole concept of owls having great wisdom is a lie! The human race has been lied to by a devious little bird. I call a fowl! This my friends is why I don’t trust owls. This my friends is why you shouldn’t either. Good morning, good afternoon, good night!

jess4002 profile pic Alumni

you should never trust an owl because they don't die. seriously, they don't. have you ever seen an owl die on television? no. all they do is stare into your heart, you scream like a little girl - i don't know why, i mean, you have the guts to take a dark and scary stroll but you scream at an owl? crazy - then you run, trip over some twigs that appear out of thin air, and that's that. what happens to the owl? it sits there. and we never see or hear about it again.

they don't die. they never will die. maybe they're zombies on the inside. or a cyborg. or an aged owl sleeping with his eyes open. anyways, that's why you shouldn't trust them. they're immortal. and you're not.

rossmat8 profile pic Alumni

Never trust an owl because owls never learn anyone's name. Also nobody trusts owls because although they given us the straight answer, we still claim we don't know the amount of licks to reach the center of a tootsie pop.


Did you just see what Professor Oswald Owl just tried to pull there? He tried to pull a fast one on us all by describing some very complicated data and statistics which propelled us all into a mind warp of a two year old. The Owls are invading my friends. Grab your Owl traps and hide your mice. They're coming!

Tikimasters profile pic Alumni

Gotta love the owls :)


very nice


Nice work!
I don't trust owls because they tend to attack me.


Way underscored, probably a bunch of owls voted it down because they didn't want word to get out. :O


an owl conspiracy most likely was the reason this didn't score as well as it deserved... sneaky bastards.

bengineer profile pic Alumni

underscored, love it! :(

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