I wish I could be free. I wish I could let go of my inhibitions. I wish the world I know would disappear. At times I just can’t find the right place at the right time. It’s like a chain: it drags me down from the things I really want. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can do it; I let go. It’s not easy, but I can find a place in my mind where I feel euphoric. Total happiness. Completeness. Without modesty, without care, without doubt; it really is a phenomenon. Happiness really does have its fantastic wonders. And I must say, if I have to guess what Heaven is like, I can compare it to this.
“Why do you love art?” Only once have I ever been asked this question, and I was mortified. I didn’t know, and I don’t know now. In response to this question, I told that person I use art to express my feelings. I wish I could take that back. In all honesty, my artwork has so much more to do with than “feelings.” I see things differently. I want to share stories I wish were true, a world I wish I were in, and a person I can only hope to be. These “things” are semantic to me. They are special. They are of great value. Creating art where I can share my thoughts with the world is my happiness. It is times like these when I find my euphoric stage.
In response to my artwork, people always tell me they can never do art like that. But, I don’t just “do” art. I love it; it makes me happy. I believe in finding happiness. And yes, it is certainly is a stale saying, but when one finds that their dreams are coming true, when one finds their life is stepping closer to what they have always desired; that is happiness.
My sophomore year of high school was the worst year of my life. My grades dropped, my best friend since kindergarten left me, and I had two more knee surgeries. I secluded myself from everybody I knew. I wanted to scream when my best friend abandoned me. She became friends with another girl who drank alcohol, did drugs, and partied. I didn’t understand what was so great about this “girl.” What did she have that I didn’t? A friend; just one would have be good enough. Spending most of the day on a couch in the basement watching television is not all that it is supposed to be. My knees hurt, every day. Every day it felt like ice was growing around my bones. It wasn’t uncommon that I couldn’t sleep, nor was it uncommon that my knees woke me up. I was sad and angry, watching everybody else enjoy their high school year as I sat at home watching “Spongebob Squarepants” for the fifth millionth time trying to spark some happiness in me. I can’t blame myself; only my family actually supported me. I can only remember a time during that year when I was happy, and that’s when I was doing art. I don’t know why, but becoming so distracted by art made me realize I don’t need sports, school, or someone to complete me. I began sitting in front of the television drawing and painting. Art was a good distraction from my heart-throbbing knees. Whatever it is was about that time, what it is about art... I’m just glad it exists.
Fly by Moon
Design by Daphnepiper
2.15 Avg Score
- 2.15 Avg Score
- 128 scores