how is that helicopter flying without the blades turning !?

Rad!

It's a big fat man who's unconscious (ala bedtime stories) some one has to give cpr! kelly's grossed out, so troy does it without a second thought. cue cpr/make out scene. kelly says to beach bum "i think tracy was right when she said it was impossible to be with him"

Tracy washes up on shore, gasping for air. Alarmed at the situation, Troy runs to comfort her. Kelly gets upset and tells Troy that he's totally not as gnarly as she thought he was, and she walks away with Beach Bum #1. A closeup on Tracy reveals that she has a killer mustache. Troy realizes he just made the biggest mistake of his life, and he looks longingly at Kelly as she walks away with Beach Bum #1.

Beach Bum #1: Dude something just washed up on shore

Cut to Troy and Kelly running to a body washed up on shore
Kelly: OH MY GOD IT'S TRACY!!!!
Troy (in classic hands-on-hips-super-hero-pose): I'll save her!
Cut to Troy giving Tracy mouth to mouth
Tracy wakes up and coughs and Troy pulls aways but Tracy pulls him back in for a kiss
Kelly (getting enraged): He's MINE!
Cat-fight ensues with Troy and Beach Bum#1 looking on with arms folded, heads slowly nodding with pervy smiles

As Troy and Kelly rush to find what has washed up on shore they find out its Tracy. Troy know must decide who to do: Make-out with Kelly, or give mouth-to-mouth to Tracy. He saves Tracy, but tells her they are through and walks off into the sunset with Kelly. Beach Bum #1 comes up to Tracy and says:

Beach Bum #1: "Isn't weird they are walking into a sunset when its only 11am?"

Tracy: "You'll learn not to question love."

Make outs while a shark is seen in the distance.

It's a cardboard box with tracy's head in it but troy just decides to let it float out to sea then starts making out with kelly as tracy's head slowly drifts out to sea!

I think it should be Tracy washed up and she explains that Kelly tried to drown her but she broke free to emerge and claim Troy who is rightfully hers. Kelly retreats in shame as Troy & Kelly have their reunion on the shore.

They run to the beach to find tracy rinding in on an inflatable dolphin! armed with a harpoon guns she screams "Troy you cheating bastad! you broken my heart, prepare to die!"

Cut to the three dudes at the shore, who come upon a message in a bottle!

It's from Tracy, addressed to Kelly, it says:

Dear Kelly,

tell troy I'm not speaking to him.

from,
Tracy.


All three characters look at each other, back at the letter, back to each other.

finally Troy says.

"Ya know, I think I like Tracy again."

Tracy and her secret agent boyfriend are washed up on shore with a inflatable life raft. Troy and Kelly get shot by their pursuers.

The end.

~ Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum #1 rush to the point of interest * in slow mo, of course * /
~ Tracy is flailing in the water dressed as a sea turtle/whale/fish ( whatever is easiest to make) [ or just a pirate or nautical Threadless Tee ] /
~ Tracy exclaims that she left the club w/Kelly and woke up in the water * being a lifeguard, she was able to swim to shore /
~ Kelly looks wholeheartedly disappointed and Troy is dumbfounded ( Beach Bum looks on ) and then they both gasp in amazement to each other as Troy realizes Kelly tried to kill Tracy to be closer to him /
== end there == if a part #3 or /
~ Kelly passes out and Beach Bum gives CPR while Troy proposes marriage to Tracy

I think the ending should be a giant bottle washing up on shore that contains some sappy love letter for Troy from Tracy. Kelly bashes the letter and they turn around to walk back to the lifeguard stand and there stands Tracy and Troy runs to her arms wide open in the sappiest running to each other on a beach in slow motion can be. Kelly gets angry and watches from a distance vowing revenge and turns to Beach Bum #1 and runs off into the sunset with him. (aka her revenge is hooking up with BB1)

*group runs to shore to discover Tracy's body*

Beach Bum #1: What a turn of events! Tracy is dead!

Kelly: Relax Beach Bum #1. Haven't you learned anything from watching The Hills? This is just a plot point to keep the story moving along.

Troy: Exactly. We were never in love to begin with! It was simply something the writers of the show put into the script for character development.

Beach Bum #1: Oh ok!
*everyone walks away leaving body behind*

*fast-forward to that night at club*
Troy: I wonder if Tracy is coming tonight?

*cut to beach, body still washed up on shore*

END

Tracy is a mermaid!

The twitter fail whale washed up on shore

It's David Hasselhoff!

They give him CPR and he is revived with a *sparkle* in his smile!

Then he has to leave, as he needs his spray-on abs reapplied...

The "thing that just washed up on shore." It's a whale. Kelly, Troy, and the beach bum push and push, but to no avail. The beach bum shouts, "We need one more!" Cue Tracy. She joins in the pushing. Finally, the whale gets back into the water. "Oh, Tracy, thank you, thank you, thank you," Troy grovels. But Tracy blows past him and walks off, arm in arm, with the beach bum.

Tracy's bikinis were washed up on shore.
Troy instantly recognizes them and realizes how much he still loves her. Went a bit insane and tried to kill himself in the waters with hopes of finding tracy (shouts tracy's name frantically)

Beach bum#1: Dude, he's mad and and gonna get himself killed!
Kelly: Heh, I dont mind because that means we get to spend more time together..

The two looks at each other and attempt to kiss

ends before lips touches

fatheed aka Aled
He loves threadless that much... he walked across the ocean.

The three run down to the shore.

Beach Bum (BB): It WAS here! I swear!
Troy: What was?
Kelly: OH MY GOD! SOMETHING'S GOT ME!

The camera zooms in on her right ankle, around which is clamped the mouth of a... crocodile!?

Kelly: WHAT THE FRAK is a crocodile doing on Chicago Park Beach!?
Troy: I dunno, but I'll save you!!

Troy grabs a piece of Threadless merchandise to wrassle the croc with, jumps on its back, and ultimately gets it off Kelly's leg, clamping its mouth shut with aforementioned merch.

Kelly: Oh, Troy!

The two embrace and begin to passionately make out.

In the background, the beach bum looks on, smiling and shaking his head. Suddenly, we see him fall and get dragged off into the water, screaming, presumably the victim of the same croc that attacked Kelly. The two lovebirds pay no attention. End of episode.

The three run down to the shore.

Beach Bum (BB): It WAS here! I swear!
Troy: What was?
Kelly: OH MY GOD! SOMETHING'S GOT ME!

The camera zooms in on her right ankle, around which is clamped the mouth of a... crocodile!?

Kelly: WHAT THE FRAK is a crocodile doing on Chicago Park Beach!?
Troy: I dunno, but I'll save you!!

Troy grabs a piece of Threadless merchandise to wrassle the croc with, jumps on its back, and ultimately gets it off Kelly's leg, clamping its mouth shut with aforementioned merch.

Kelly: Oh, Troy!

The two embrace and begin to passionately make out.

In the background, the beach bum looks on, smiling and shaking his head. Suddenly, we see him fall and get dragged off into the water, screaming, presumably the victim of the same croc that attacked Kelly. The two lovebirds pay no attention. End of episode.

"It's a shark!" screamed Kelly!
"No, it's a man!" yells Troy.
"It's both!" they both shout out.

A man in a sharkskin suit walked up on shore, and handed them a subpoena. "You just got served by David Hasslehoff! He demands that you seize and decist any actions, that involves my client and the likeness thereof."

They find a golden whale still alive on the shore.
Troy runs up to it yelling. "Good thing I took that summer extension course in Whale!"

Troy: *making obnoxious whale sounds*
Kelly: What does it say?
Troy: *giving Tracy a nasty look* HE has a name - it's UUOOOOMMM'NNNAAAAAAA! He says that he will grant Tracy one wish if we push him back into the ocean.
Kelly: Wait, what? He KNOWS Tracy?
Troy: That's what he said...
*they exchange silent looks*
Kelly: Yeah, umm tell him we're gonna go get help. *wink*
Troy: *making more obnoxious whale sounds* as they slowly back away from the golden whale.

hahah herold ftw!

They run to the shore to see that it's an ice cooler used for organ transplants. They both look at each other, at the warnings on the cooler, at each other again, and open it to see a heart and the name "For immediate transplant to Tracy."

Troy and kelly glance at each other again, and down at the heart. Troy closes the lid and grabs the handle and begins to run along the beach, Kelly grabs his arm and asks him

"Like, what are you going to do?"

He looks at her and we fade out, waiting for the next installment.

Lying on the rocky shoreline is a corpse wrapped in a plastic bag. Kelly falls into a trance-like state and dreams that her, Troy, and Beach Bum #1 are in a Red-Curtained room dancing in reverse to cheesy jazz music.

Ok, so it's obviously Tracy that's washed up. So Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum #1 run over. Tracy is on the floor and for some reason there's a DJ (from Club Tornado) there playing some cheesy dance tune. Tracy splutters and gets up.

Tracy catches her breath and says, 'hey Troy, I'm totally cool with you moving on'. So they allcheer and dance and blow their lifeguard whistles in a sort of rave. They dance the kind of dances that would randomly occur in the 1960s Batman TV series. Kelly does the Mashed Potato, etc.

Beach Bum: Follow me, it's this way.

(Everyone makes there way to the shore line, where they find Tracy helping someone unconscious)

Troy: Tracy!? What are you doing here?

Tracy: I'm a paramedic you moron!

(Cliche plot twist music plays, while zoomed in on Troy's face)

Troy: Since when are you a paramedic!?

Tracy: What!? I've been always been one!

(Troy's inner though: cricket noise from his mind)

Kelly: Back off Tracy, I'm with him now.
Tracy: Okay...? I don't care.
Kelly: I told you back off!
Tracy: I am.,,

(They continue to argue, while the unconscious person wakes up.)

Troy: Hey, he is coming too!
BB: Yeah he is.
Unconscious guy: What's going on, what happened to me?
Troy: Uhh, never mind that.
BB: Yeah, lets just get out of here.

(All 3 guys sneak off, while Tracy and Kelly yell at each other)
-The End-

it was a sea monster! (we can only see a giant tentacle)

troy: what is it?
kelly: I don't know, I think it's dead
beach bum: What are we gonna do??

kelly looks back to troy
Kelly: where were we?

the two ignores beach bum and skips away whimsically in love while holding hands

the monster happens to be still alive and grabs beach bum dude seen in the background

They all run to the spot where the beach bum spotted the item! They see a large box covered in seaweed and other sea creatures... through the sea junk you can see the word "Threadless" but just barely.
Troy: Holy wow! Its a treasure chest!
Kelly: Were Rich!!!!!! And I took this lifegaurd gig to sit on the beach and look pretty!
Troy: Totally!
Beachbum: I saw it first I get the treasure!
Troy: No Way man, this is an equal find!
Kelly: Yeah totally, we need to split it! Lets open and see how much there is! Maybe like a bazillion gagillion dollars!
*They walk over to the box and all take a side--*
Kelly: ready, on the count of three lets pull... one... two... three... *they all pull but have a hard time opening it* come on guys pull harder, Troy pull like your saving Kelly from the water *Troy pulls harder, and suddenly the top flies open-- out spills tshirts of every color size and shape!*
Beachbum: Lame! This aint money its tshirts! Im outta here!
Tracy: Hey so were not rich but we sure will look hot!
Troy: Heck yes! Were gonna look smokin'
*both high five with a cheesy smile*

Troy dashes away while Kelly starts to gather some supplies. Beach Bum #1 starts checking her out and says, "Dude, if you were a sandcastle, I would pack you in a second." In slow motion, both of them remove their sunglasses and make eye contact. Meanwhile, Troy is still running and trips over a woman. He falls on top of her and gasps, "TRACY?!" Tracy is drunk and winks at him. "Troy, I've missed you, you beach stud you. Rub some sunscreen on me." Both make eye contact.

The three run to the shore in slo-mo. They come upon a body, face-down. They turn the body over, and it's a man - that looks exactly like Troy. Troy is shocked.

Troy (in an increasingly exaggerated manner): Oh no. Oh God. OH NO. OH GOD! OH NO! OH GOD! OH NO! OH GOD!

Then a smoke monster pops in and yells "Smoke monster!" and then BAM! -- black screen (ala LOST).

They go to the shore, and there is a monster covered up with seaweeds roaring, they get scared and Troy grabs a shovel and starts hitting the monster with it, while Kelly and Beach Bum #1 watch the scene terrified, the monster stars screaming: "TROOOY, STOP IT!" Troy, surprised, asks the monster "WHY DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" so the monster replies "Because I am Tracy, you dumb!, I got trapped by the waves, now, help me stand up... and take me to the hospital" they leave BB#1 and Kelly alone and she says: "so it means now we can spend more time together..." *Kiss* ;)

Actually, it's Tracy who paid the Beach Bum to tell a lie to Kelly and Troy. 3 of them rushed to the shore, the Beach Bum and Troy get off their t-shirt and Kelly got attracted by the Beach Bum. The Beach Bum keeps running and Tracy keep run onto him. Troy realized that Kelly is just like that. He turns back to the post and found Tracy already there. And then they make out just right where Kelly and Troy almost done it.

Troy and Kelly run down to the beach to find that what washed up on shore was an early 90s band. they, covered in seaweed, begin to play as Kelly, Troy and BeachBum dance. Many other youngsters come out of nowhere and dance too.

then i make out with Craig beachbum. oh wait, that was...something else....

Troy "Dude, what is it?"

Beach bum #1: (pokes it with a stick) " dude, I dunno"

Kelly: "It's just a bottle you guys jeez"

Troy: "Look, there's something inside it"

Kelly: (opens it) "It's a piece of paper..."

Beachbum #1: "Well read it! what does it say man?"

Kelly: (reads the paper) "Threadless.com summer heatwave sale, Sizzling hot tees from 5$, sale ends June 8th."

Troy: "Dude, Sweet"

Beachbum #1: "Righteous deal man!"

all three run across the beach to discover..

its a grizzly bear!

the bear gets up and advances towards the three guys

Kelly: look out! its a bear!
Troy: look out! its a bear!
beach bum: look out! its a bear!

shimala cycles past the scene: look out! its a bear!

Kelly: what should we do?
Troy: well...everyone knows bears are afraid of chickens!
Kelly: are you crazy?
beach bum: look out! its a bear!
kelly and troy shoot puzzled glances at beach bum

troy: ok here goes nothing... i'm a big furry chicken*dances like a chicken*

the bear charges and swipes off Troys head which rolls on the beach.


Kelly: screams
beach bum: look out! its a bear!

then the bear takes its own head off to reveal its Tracy!

Tracy: thats the last shift swap for you Troy McTroymerson!

Close up shoty of tracy's face while she laughs sinisterly.
Kelly is heard sobbing in the background

Beach bum: i dont think thats a bear, dude.

Kelly and Troy look over, and it's Tracy! Kelly runs over over and says "All you want to do is ruin my relationship with troy, you bitch!" She then runs up and kicks Tracy in the side and she and Troy make out.

Troy & Kelly Together: Let's go take a look!
~All three go look to find out that it's Tracy, only, they don't know it's Tracy because her face is covered with a GIANT sea star!
Troy: Is that who I, like, think it is?!
Kelly: I really hope not.. :(
~They remove the sea star carefully and find reveal the mysterious person!
Troy: It is, It's Tracy! Holy Cowz, Tracy, are you like, okay?!
Beach Bum #1: Woaaahhhh Duuuude, she's smokin'.
Troy: (Dreamily) yeahhh...
~Tracy opens up her eyes to find Troy holding her head up.
~Troy's head is surrounded by sunlight
Tracy: Oh, MY HERO! I thought I was going to totally meet the sea gods or something!
~Tracy and Troy look into each others eyes for a moment.

Kelly: TROY! AUGH I TOTALLY CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU!
~Kelly runs off

DUN DUN DUN. More conflict! Nothing has been solved! What will happen to the star fish?! Will Kelly come back?! Will the beach bum find happiness?! And... What will happen to the star fish?! We'll find out next time on.... HEATWAVE!

The three run to the shore, to find a sealed box addressed to Troy. He opens it and finds a bunch of his belongings and a letter.
"It's from Tracy" Troy exclaims, with a sad and confused look. "She says that we're through. She's left me for some guy name... Enrique?! And Juan?!"
Troy gets into the fetal position and starts bawling like a baby.
Kelly, disgusted, looks over at Beach Bum #1. "Hey. You seem adequate. Wanna go get hot dogs?"
"Let's Roll"
They walk off, with Troy still crying.
End.

Ok, so Kelly, Troy, and the Beachbum all rush over to find Tracy dead and gross looking in the surf.

Kelly: "Like, grody!"

Suddenly Tracy rises, her eyes glazed over and her arms outstreched. She groans something that sounds like "Troy" and begins to move towards him.

Troy: "Ahhhh!"

Kelly: "Like, oh my god. I knew you weren't over her. Gag me, please. We're THROUGH."

She links arms with the Beachbum and they walk off together as zombie Tracy drags Troy to a watery grave.

The camera pans over and it's a huge, giant, macroscopic, Tee Shirt!
Shirt: "Screw vintage, this shirt is from the future."
Troy and Kelly now think they can as about their future so they inquire...
Shirt: While I can't tell you much because the future is now. and now. and now. and now. and...as it turns out Troy, you listen to bands that don't even exist yet. And Kelly you never do actually play on expert but you do eventually donate your body to magic.
Troy and Kelly: (Blank stares....)
Troy: And what about Tracy?
Shirt: One word of advice Troy: Only fight if pillows are present.
(Fade out)

Troy and Kelly follow the Beach Bum to find a box labeled "Threadless Tees".

Troy: Woah, what is it?

Kelly: (trying to read box) I think it's a box of... um... Threadless Tees?

Beach Bum: (popping out of box) It totally is, dudes! And guess what?!

Kelly and Troy: (overacting horribly) WHAT?

Beach Bum: They're all just $5 until June 8th!

Troy: But, if they're in a box just, ya know, washed onshore... Then doesn't that, like, mean that we could just, like, take 'em or something?

Kelly: Yeah! Who's gonna know if we don't pay $5 for 'em?

Beach Bum: (menacingly) I will...

Cut to shot of Beach Bum opening a stand on the beach selling t-shirts with Kelly and Troy looking dejected.


Beach Bum: (hawking, like a carnival midway barker) Threadless Tees! Get your Threadless Tees! Five dollars! (holding up specific shirts) We got Lost a Wheel! We got Bunyan's Blues! We got Sank My Battleship! Five bucks through Friday, folks! Get 'em while they're hot!

so then troy turns back to craig and says, "oh yeah? what was it? your sense of awesomeness!? psh...didn't you read the beach sign craig!? it says 'a day at the beach is fun'..and you know what ISN'T fun, craig!? we were all about to make out and then you come running up behind us wearing a stereotyped 80's beach outfit talking about stuff on the shore that washed up...but look, craig, that's what happens on a beach...stuff washes up because of the currents in the water...don't you know anything about beaches? you probably don't...you just spend your days salivating over emilio estevez movies like Men at Work and Maximum Overdrive."

then craig says "but....but....b'"

troy cuts him off saying "stop blabbing on about emilio estevez's butt ok!? If anyone's butt is going to be talked about it's going to be mine! Allow me to show off my blue shorts...they're blue...blue as captain planet's skin..."

then the chick says " captain planet you say? well he's MY hero for sure..."

then craig says "the only hero 'round these parts is Gordon Bombay from Mighty Ducks 2."

then troy says "Gordon Bombay? More like Gordon Dumbface! You got served. Vote Palin"

The three sprint in slow-mo to the washed up body -

It's none other than ENRIQUE, beaten and bruised by Juan.

Enrique comes to and recognizes Troy (whom he believes to be Juan)
Enrique (to Kelly): Tell her I loved.... (DIES)

Shimala puts on glasses, David Caruso style

YEEEEEEAAAAAAH

The three run to the shore where they find the board game Mouse Trap at the edge of the water.
Bum #1: "Look! The mouse hasn't been caught yet!"
All three gasp in horror.
Kelly: "How do you play this game anyway?"
Troy: "If only Tracy were here, she'd know what to do! She was the grand champion of the Chicago Mouse Trap tournament last year!"
Suddenly Tracy appears in superhero garb.
Tracy: "I sense a mouse has gone too long untrapped!"
Tracy heroically sets off the trap and captures the mouse. Everyone cheers.
Troy: "Dude, Tracy, I've been a fool. You are my true love forever!"
Troy shoves Bum #1 and Kelly out of the way and embraces Tracy.
END

Okay, I liked my idea, but I totally like anotherdeadpoet's and nathanwpyle's. Dead poet's moreso, cuz I have a thing for zombies.

maybe they find a can of 1990's drink "Sunkist Sparkling Lemonade" and they each take a sip and then start playing beach volleyball dressed as Goose and Maverick from Top Gun? and after the game they preceed to walk around the streets of chicago serenading random women with "you've lost that lovin' feeling"

Beach Bum #1- "Dudes, something just washed up on shore!"
-cut to Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum #1 running up to a lone right hand, sticking out of the sand-
Beach Bum #1 points at the hand- "Dudes!"
Troy falls to his knees, sobs- "Tracy! NOOOO!!"-picks up the hand, cradles it.
Kelly, over Troy's anguish- "That's gross."
-cut to the hand, holding a sign that reads, "Troy!"
Troy exclaims- "Tracy! You're alive!"
-cut back to the hand with a new sign, reading, "Troy, I still love you."
Troy, overly dramatic, music swells- "I love you, too, Tracy. I'm sorry I starred in that Spanish soap opera without telling you and then said that other thing... Kelly and I are over, now. I promise."
Kelly- "Hey... What about--"
Troy, interrupting- "No, Kelly. We're through. I love Tracy and there's nothing that can come between the love of a man and (looking at "Tracy") and his right hand."
Kelly, desperately- "But Troy! (shakes head violently) I'm more than just a hand... I have two hands!" (displays her hands with a whimsical flare)
Troy, considering- "True." (tosses "Tracy" over his shoulder, runs goofily away with Kelly, hand-in-hand)
-cut to "Tracy" with a sign that reads "NOOOOOO!!"-
-cut to Beach Bum #1 standing beside "Tracy" with the ocean behind them-
Beach Bum #1- (awkwardly picks up "Tracy", pauses, awkwardly runs off camera-

Fin.

what if they all run to the shore only to find that craig took a poo on the beach and is so proud of himself that he wanted to show some strangers?

Slow-motion running to the shore then distant yell of HURRY UP GUYS. They find Tracy hunched over looking into the water.

Troy: Uhh hi Tracy what're you looking at?
Tracy: Oh.. just my reflection isn't it beautiful.
-confused faces all round-
Tracy: Nice Balls.
Beach Bum: -holds up beach balls- thanks, wanna grab a milkshake?
Tracy: Okay.

They walk off and Troy looks folorn as Kelly is looking into the water at the same spot Tracy was.

The three run to the beach, only to find a guy with a 70s style saturday-night-feverish john-travolta-white outfit standing at the shore.
In that moment, the sun gets blocked by the coulds and disco music starts to play. The 70s guy does the dance move from all the posters ( http://bit.ly/2uS9r ) and POOF, they're all wearing retro shirts. 20 other people appear and it's disco time!
Maybe someone even does a "par-tee" pun, who knows ;)

TADAAAA, INSTANT AWESOME!

The three run to the beach, only to find a guy with a 70s style saturday-night-feverish john-travolta-white outfit standing at the shore.
In that moment, the sun gets blocked by the coulds and disco music starts to play. The 70s guy does the dance move from all the posters ( http://bit.ly/2uS9r ) and POOF, they're all wearing retro shirts. 20 other people appear and it's disco time!
Maybe someone even does a "par-tee" pun, who knows ;)

TADAAAA, INSTANT AWESOME!

PURE GOLD ENDING IDEA: READ THIS ONE!!!

what if they find David Hasselhoff drunk on the beach eating hamburgers and mumbling..."A planet where apes evolved from men? There's got to be an answer."....

then he looks up at festa and yells "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! "

They arrive at the shore, and a woman is lying face down in the sand.
Troy: "It's Tracey!"
Kelly reaches down to feel her pulse
Kelly: "She's dead!"
Troy: (to Kelly) "oh sweet, now I can change my shecdule back, I don't really like you either"
Troy leaves Kelly alone on the beach.

*Insert a line after Troy's from Kelly to say 'Yeah what washed up here?'

They head to the shoreline and find a bassinet...

In it is a baby and a note from Tracey!

"Troy, meet your daughter Helen (get it, Helen of Troy - LOL). I am no good for you or Helen - take care of her and take of you..."

Troy, with tear in his eye picks up Helen and holds her.

Camera zooms to see Helen is wearing a "Skinny Corp" Onesey from the new Heatwave Summer Line at Threadless for Kids!

Overlay of the threadlesskids.com url and a voice telling about 25% discount available for today only!

Cliffhanger - What will Kelley do now that Troy has real baggage?

To Be Continued!

The three run to the beach, where they find.... Juan! Seemingly lifeless, the two lifeguards debate who between them will give cpr.
Kelly: I can't give him cpr, he's dead!
Troy: I'll give him cpr, he looks disturbingly handsome to me...
Troy's eyes glaze and he slowly bends down to kiss his mirror image.

Far away, in the bushes, are two figures hiding, Sylvia and Enrique, grinning evilly and holding hands.

Fade to black... an evil laugh is heard.

Kelly, Troy and the Beach Bum are running in slow motion. Beach Bum trips and falls face first into the sand. Kelly and Troy, oblivious to the Beach Bum's wipeout, continue running and come upon the washed up scene. There's a man in a black suite and white shirt with a long, wavy blonde wig laying unconscious near the water's edge.

Kelly: Dude, I think I've seen this dude somewhere before.

Troy: Really? He looks like a mondo loser.

(Kelly leans down and pulls out the man's wallet and looks at his ID.)

Kelly: Troy, dude, it's Michael Bolton!

Troy: Woah, Michael Bolton? He's washed up alright.

Freeze frame on Troy and Kelly laughing with a laugh track in the backgroud.

OR

Alternate Ending: Michael Bolton suddenly comes to.

Michael (to Troy): You're a monster!

I love when Shimala makes an appearance.

Kelly is on the scene first: “Hey Troy look it’s a mermaid.”
Troy: “She’s not breathing.” Troy gives her a breath and says “She is beautiful.”
The mermaid wakes up and gives Troy a kiss. The mermaid turns into a human. Troy pulls out a large Threadless t-shirt and wraps her in it.
Kelly slaps Troy and says “Tracy was right and walks away.”
The next scene is Troy at the lifeguard chair with the mermaid.
Mermaid: “I was at Club Tornado last night and I saw Kelly.”
Troy: “Kelly and I are pretty much done.”
Troy and the Mermaid go to kiss.
Music starts to play out when
Beach bum#1 interrupts again “Something has washed up on the beach.”
They run to see what it is.
It is a Threadless T that says “The End”.
Troy and the Mermaid smile and kiss
Music plays off.

Troy's sister's ex boyfriend has washed up on shore and Troy refuses to resuscitate him because of how the ex boyfriend treated his sister. Tracy resuscitates him and notices a sparkle in his eyes. Meanwhile, Beach Bum #1 text messages Tracy and tells her her that Troy was flirting with Kelly and left an innocent man to die on the beach. Tracy is very upset by this and texts Troy's sister to tell her what Troy did to her ex boyfriend.

The three run towards the shore. A body lies on the sand, face-down, looking like a woman in a bikini.

The group rolls the woman over, only to find that it is Joe in a bikini, holding margaritas.

Joe: Who wants margaritas?!

The group: Oh, that Joe!

all laugh -- freeze frame -- roll credits

Enrique, bruised and blackeyed, was washed up on shore.
Troy managed to revive Enrique. Kelly clings to Troy and both looks at Enrique

Enrique to Troy: Young man, do be like me, I cheated on someone's woman

enter Tracy

Tracy at Troy: You monster! What are you doing with that bleached bitch!?

* dont be like me

They run to shore, hardly being able to run (bad shape), Kelly climbs on Troy's back and becomes a horseback ride (or the other way). - The part that the beach bum falls face to sand from another ending is funny too, to add-

On shore they find a threadless tshirt all ripped. What a disgrace! Kelly in panic starts screaming; Troy holds her in his arms to calm her down and a passionate kiss about to happen, when... (dreamy weavy scene change effect) she wakes up sleeping on the beach, drooling on the sand. Zooms out to see Troy passing by all cool, looks at her and laughs.
if time, beach bum takes picture

Beach Bum#1: Dudes something just washed up on shore!

Kelly and Troy burst into slow motion action to run to the thing that washed up on shore.

Kelly: Hey dude, where is the thing that washed up on shore, man?

Beach Bum#1: Forget about that, Kelly. That was just a diversion. Is your name really Troy, sir?

Troy: Last time I checked.

Beach Bum#1: You've just been served... ICE CREAM!

Kelly, Troy and Beach bum#1 break into a mad ice cream beach dance party.

THE END... for now.

A strobe light washes up on the shore and they all have a dance party!

Beach Bum #1: Dude something just washed up on shore...

Troy and Kelly run, following Beach Bum.

Troy: 'What the hell IS that?'
Kelly: 'Yeah...eeeewhhh! what is it...?'
Beach Bum: 'Dudes... its a log'.

Kelly: 'Ewwwh, I think I'm gonna be sick'
Troy: 'A log???' (still none the wiser)
Beach Bum: (looking queesey) Dude, a LOG. Somebody's floater has washed up on the beach... eewwwh sick!'

Troy: 'That is totally rank man... who would do such a thing?...'

CAMERA PANS ACCROSS IN SEA TO TRACY, WAVING AND SHOUTING TOWARDS TROY/KELLY/BEACH BUM... (some people around her nearby are leaving the water)

Tracy: ' Hey Troy! Hey you guys! Over here! (shouting to get there attention)

Tracy: ' Come on in... the waters lovely!'

TROY/KELLY/BEACH BUM ARE LEFT LOOKNG OUT AT SEA TOWARDS TRACY TOTALLY SHOCKED/FEELING SICK.

SEQUENCE ENDS WITH BEACH BUM SCOOPING UP THE LOG INTO A GROCERY STORE BAG AND DUMPING IT IN A BIN AS THE THREE OF THEM WALK OFF ALONG THE BEACH AWAY FROM TRACY WHO IS LEFT A LITTLE BEMUSED, WONDERING WHAT IS UP WITH THEM.

It's Kelly's body. Kelly runs to the scene, sees her own body, and faints. Tryo turns around and shakes his fist at the sky, yelling "Damn your dirty ape time machines!"

Tracy washes up on shore (how creative), pretending to have almost drowned. Troy puts his lifeguard duties in front of his relationship problems and goes to give her CPR, unaware that she has a veil of superglue on her lips. Their lips touch, and, as Tracy planned, they are stuck together forever.

Troy, Kelly, and Beach Bum #1 run up to the shore to see what has washed up. They find a bottle. Troy picks it up.

Troy: Hey, there's something inside!

Troy opens it as Kelly and Beach Bum #1 look on in curiosity. Troy turns it over and a note falls out in his hand. He opens it up and reads it.

Tracy (Voice-Over): Troy, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I'm pregnant.

Troy: No! Oh god, no!
Kelly: What is it, babe?
Troy: Kelly, I'm going to be a dad.

Kelly gasps and puts both hands over her mouth.

CUT TO BLACK. OR CREDITS.

WHATEVER YOU GUYS LIKE.

Long shot of Kelly, Troy and the Beach Bum racing to the shore - Close up of their individual reactions just before camera reveals what has washed up on shore.

It is a dingy that has beached itself and seated in the dinghy is an adorable puppy wearing a doggy t-shirt. Troy reaches in and "saves" the puppy and then presents it to Kelly as a token of his love. The beach bum jumps in the dinghy as Troy, Kelly and the puppy frolic together on the beach while theme music plays over and the credits roll....

Beach Bum #1: Dude something just washed up on shore!

CUE OBLIGATORY SLOW-MOTION RUN
But oh no! KELLY TRIPS, and BITES THE SAND
TROY keeps running, majestically.

CUT to back at the life-guarding post.

Beach Bum: Hey Troy, I didn't see you at Club Tarnedo last night. Kelly was there.
Troy: Yeah, Kelly and I are pretty much like, through...

The three run over to the "something". It's a giant bundle of kelp. They notice an arm sticking out from beneath. Troy tears the kelp away only to find Tracy. He gives her a flying elbow to the stomach. She spits out seaweed-water and makes eye contact with Troy. The two embrace. Troy wipes the ocean veggies from her lips and says... Nice try Tracy, but it's still over.

they all run towards the unknown that washed up on the shore.. as they got closer the smell of pure frustration and boredom fills the air.. its jack from lost .. as jack gasps for air, they ignore this and discuss the awful excuse for a program- 'Do you think they're stuck in limbo or what?'asks kelly.. 'i don't know, the main thing that annoys me is that the fat guy never loses wait, they're stuck on an island with no food-just loses believability' says troy. 'any one up for a game of frisbee?' says troy .. Jacks forgotten about and they go off to play a well earned game of frisbee!

BEACH BUM
Dudes something just washed up on shore!

Tracy and Troy run over to the object and see that it is a woman's swim suit top. Troy picks up the swim suit top and holds it up, clearly in awe.

TRACY
Hey Troy.

Tracy and Troy turn to see a woman in the water, not far from shore, and is covering herself with her arms.

TRACY
That's my top your holding. It must have slipped off while I was doing breast strokes. Could you please bring it to me?

Troy is in a trance and can't stop staring at Tracy. He begins to walk into the water when the trance is shattered by Kelly who is yelling in the megaphone.

KELLY
Didn't you read the sign? Artificial floats are not allowed on the beach! Get out of here!

A shot of the Beach Rules Sign shows that Kelly is correct, "Artificial floats are not allowed".

TROY
Hey, you tried to trick me! We're done, remember?

Troy throws the swim suit top at Tracy, then marches away. As the top nears Tracy, she lifts her hands to catch it. Cut to the beach bum to show the look of awe on his face.

While the three walk down to the beach, the following dialogue takes place:

Bum: So, who's Tracy?

Troy: Just this girl I know.

Kelly says nothing.

Bum: Thas cool. I'd like to meet her.

Troy: Right on.

*arrive at beach*

It's a passed out Joe appearing he had one too many mojitos the night before, who is also choking.

"Joey!", Kelly exclaims.

As she runs down to give Joe CPR or whatever, her wig falls off revealing that she is indeed Tracy.

Troy: Tracy?

Bum: Oh snap!

Trakellcy: You didn't like Tracy, so I created this alter-ego to woo you.

Troy runs away teary eyed, with a revived Joe in hot pursuit.

Bum: Soo, want to get chimichangas?

Trakellcy: Sure!

Bum and Trakellcy walk into the sunset to get chimichangas.

Cut to Matisyahu on stage with Heather Locklear in the front row. They lock eyes and share a moment of reflection on their secret relationship in 1988.

Troy, Kelly and beach bum run to the water's shore. There, they discover that Kelly's body-- YES, KELLY'S BODY-- has washed up on shore. The woman who we all thought was Kelly is really Tracy in disguise! She rips off her wig, revealing her true identity.

Tracy: I couldn't bare to have you leave me, Troy! I had to do this!

Troy collapses onto Kelly's body, screaming "Noooooooo!!!!!"

Beach bum turns out to be an undercover cop.

Bum: I knew something smelled fishy... and it wasn't the lake.

Bum slaps cuffs on Tracy and hauls her away.

Just when you think all is lost and sad music starts playing to mourn Kelly's passing, she coughs up water. It turns out that Troy falling on her body was enough to clear her airway.

Troy: You're alive!

Kelly: Thanks to you!

Cue the sloppy makeout scene.

Troy, Kelly and beach bum run to the shore. There, they discover the body of Kelly--YES, KELLY! It turns out the woman who we all thought was Kelly was actually Tracy in disguise. She rips off her wig, revealing her true identity.

Tracy: I had to do this! You left me no choice! If I can't have you, no one will!

Troy collapses on Kelly's body, screaming, "Noooooo!"

Beach bum turns out to be an undercover cop. He slaps the cuffs on Tracy.

Bum: I thought something smelled fishy here, and I'm not talking about the lake.

He leads away Tracy, and sappy music starts playing to signify Kelly's passing. Just when you think all is lost, Kelly coughs up water. It turns out, Troy unblocked her airway when he fell on her.

Troy: You're alive

Kelly: Thanks to you!

Cue sloppy make-out scene.

(Sorry if two versions posted. I think my first one disappeared)
*feels like a newb*

It's tracy who is riding a giant sperm whale! Kelly and Troy stand in shock, while beach bum runs in slow-mo to Tracy. Tracy hops off the whale, flipping her hair dramatically. The beach bum tackles her and they roll off into the distance.

Troy and Kelly come back to reality.

Troy: Whoa, that's weeeiiiirrrddd..

Kelly(in super valley girl voice): Yeah, like, I KNOW! Now, um, what were we doing? O ya!

Troy and Kelly hold hands and frolic into the distance(the same distance beach bum and Tracy rolled off into).

End scene.

Troy, Kelly, and Beach Bum are running down to the shore in super slow motion. Troy and Beach Bum running ahead of Kelly. Troy pulling out an old football move and sticking his hand out to push the beach bum into the sand Then close up of Kelly laughing with her hair getting caught in her mouth. Kelly pulling her hair out of her mouth with a wad of gum stuck on the end of it. Tries to get it out but leaves it. All three finally make it to the shore finding a body face down. Troy leaning down to turn the body over..

Troy: "Oh sweet floaties and sunscreen, it's ..it's Tracy!!

Tracy: (choking and gagging ..coughing up water opening her eyes..she looks at Kelly and says).."Hey Kelly, Billy Ray Cyrus called, he wants his mullet back."

Tracy slaps Troy

Tracy: "Kiss me."

Troy leans down to lay one on Tracy

Kelly: (gasp!!..slapping Troy on the back of the head) "Troy? What the hell, dude!!"

Beach Bum smackin' Troy

Troy: "DUDE!!?"

Beach Bum: "Sorry, was feeling left out."

Troy: "Kelly, it's over..And I'm changing my schedule back."

Kelly: "What!!!???"

Troy: "Look at her, Kelly..She's all blue and dead like..How can i say no to her."

Kelly: "So not awesome, like totally." (Starts to cry then out of no where let's out a fart)

Beach Bum: "It's okay." (waving the stink away.....wrappin' arm around Kelly) "You still have me."

Kelly: "Ugh, and who are you again?"

Beach Bum: "I'm that one guy...remember I fell in the sand."

Kelly: "Ah, you'll do."

Kelly and Beach Bum run off to the snowcone truck. While Tracy wraps her arms around Troy...Looking behind Troy in horror at an on comin' beach cruiser....Kelly and Beach Bum turning around...Then lookin' at each other and puttin' their arms up and struggin' and turning back around to get their snowcones.

Oh good lord! I hope that's 15-20 seconds lol

bahaha

Oops, last sentence I meant shruggin'.

They rush to the site to find a Canadian tourist washed up on shore frying a plate of maple bacon, they exchange a few "hellos" and a couple customary "ehs" and ride off into the sunset on the back of a wave runner.

They rush to the site to find a Canadian tourist washed up on shore frying a plate of maple bacon, they exchange a few "hellos" and a couple customary "ehs" and ride off into the sunset on the back of a wave runner.

Beach Bum #1: "Dudes something just washed up on shore"

Kelly: "O.M.G. lets go C.I.O"

Troy: "C.I.O?"

Kelly: "You know...'Check it out'"

Troy: "Check what out?"

Kelly: "I dunno, I forgot"

-Cell Phone Ring-

Troy: "Hold on, I gotta text" Troy checks his phone. "Ugh its Tracy asking where I was last night"

Kelly: "K, I'm totally Twittering to everyone that Tracy is a stalker"

Troy: "Who's she stalking?"

Kelly: "What?"

Credits roll.

A box washes up on the beach. Troy opens it. Inside is a picture of the most beautiful girl ever and a note that states she needs help.

Forgetting what was about to happen with Kelly, he makes it his mission to help her.

Troy, kelly and beach bum #1 speed walk over to the water, beach bum #1 trips on a hermit crab that grabs him on the nose. Beach bum #1 freaks out starts running in circles on the sand (like homer simpson). Troy and kelly reach the water and see a black bottle that's glowing in radical rainbow colors and starts speaking like a genie. First the bottle says to Kelly, "I like your haircut", and then the bottle says to Troy, "man, you are one lucky shirt wearing human - now open me and I'll reveal the secrets of the universe."

Troy and Kelly gaze in each others eyes and open up the bottle. The bottle opens up and there's a loud echo of maniacal laughter. Suddenly mist and gas surround Troy and Kelly and a figure appears to be wearing a colorful t-shirt that is glowing with heavenly bliss. Troy and Kelly shout, " hey kid, where did you get that shirt?"

The kid smiles and says in a deep echoing cosmic voice, "listen up, the heatwaves a comin' and you need to sport this fly gear." The little kid snaps his fingers and both Troy and Kelly are wearing threadless shirts. Troy, Kelly and the kid are glowing and laughing together. Off in the distance, bum#1 comes up to them with tiny hermit crabs stuck to his face and his shirt is torn to shreads revealing pink burn marks and a very hairy chest area. The kid snaps his fingers one more time and beach bum #1 is transformed into a radical dude with super slick hair and wearing a threadless tee.

Troy, Kelly, the kid and beach bum #1 point to the camera (upview shot) and they jump and shout, " Threadless!" The kid is jumping the highest, kelly is jumping into a cheerleader air split, Troy is doing a ninja style jump kick and beach bum #1 is floating in the air in a seated yoga pose.

The giant "heatwave" text is pictured in the background with some cool music.

*Cue* slow motion running shot, ala Pamela Anderson, except focus in on Troy's beard as it bounces.

Tracy washes onshore clinging to an infaltable alligator beach toy (or replace with whatever is available)

Beachbum #1: Woah, like, that is so surivorman, dude. farrrrrrrr oooooout.

Troy: Are you alright?!

Tracy: (weakly) Yeah, but even in this heatwave lake Michigan is still only 40 degrees.

Kelly: Like, I think she is Hypothermic and all! We should get a blanket or something.

Troy: No Time! We'll have to use our body heat.

Everyone Raises their eyebrows.

Cut to group hugging scene.

Troy: Ya Know Tracey, this might work out.

Beachbum #1: Wicked!

Kelly: Laaaame.

(end)

Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum run up the beach. (wind in hair, slo'mo, music, ... you know how it goes!)

They find a Giant Squid writhing slowly.

Beach bum: Yuck, what is it?

Troy: Kraken!

Dramatic music.

Kelly: Don't you mean Giant Squid?

More Dramatic music as Troy looks at her with sheepish admiration.

Troy: Right, that's exactly what I meant!

The giant squid writhes, as if in pain

Kelly: It don't look too good

Troy: Maybe because it's natural habitat is salt water...

Kelly: No, I think it's going to barf

Squid heaves and slowly barfs out a very slimy and very angry Tracy. She takes one look at Kelly and says.

Tracy: Like, "Totally harmless"? Yeah, right! "Feed him this mackerel"? "He'll take it right out of your hand..."

Kelly blushes and looks sheepishly at Troy

Tracy: That's the last time I listen to you! I almost think you wanted it to swallow me. C'mon Troy, we're out of here

She grabs Troy by the arm and starts draggin him away. Troy looks back at Kelly whistfully, their eyes lock and he stops.

Troy: No, Tracy. This is what I've been trying to tell you. Were done. This is where I belong.

Tracy: On the beach?

Troy: No with Kelly. She may be a double crossing homicidal maniac but she knows her cephalopod's and her hair is sooo hot.

Troy and Kelly do the slo'mo run into each others arms. As they embrace, just before they kiss, we hear a painful roar from the squid.

Troy: C'mon Kelly we got a sick squid to save...

Cue credits as they run off hand in hand down the beach.

(BTW. I have some great ideas of how you would make the giant squid using trash bags and vacuum cleaner hoses should I win)

Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum run up the beach. (wind in hair, slo'mo, music, ... you know how it goes!)

They find a Giant Squid writhing slowly.

Beach bum: Yuck, what is it?

Troy: Kraken!

Dramatic music.

Kelly: Don't you mean Giant Squid?

More Dramatic music as Troy looks at her with sheepish admiration.

Troy: Right, that's exactly what I meant!

The giant squid writhes, as if in pain

Kelly: It don't look too good

Troy: Maybe because it's natural habitat is salt water...

Kelly: No, I think it's going to barf

Squid heaves and slowly barfs out a very slimy and very angry Tracy. She takes one look at Kelly and says.

Tracy: Like, "Totally harmless"? Yeah, right! "Feed him this mackerel"? "He'll take it right out of your hand..."

Kelly blushes and looks sheepishly at Troy

Tracy: That's the last time I listen to you! I almost think you wanted it to swallow me. C'mon Troy, we're out of here

She grabs Troy by the arm and starts draggin him away. Troy looks back at Kelly whistfully, their eyes lock and he stops.

Troy: No, Tracy. This is what I've been trying to tell you. Were done. This is where I belong.

Tracy: On the beach?

Troy: No with Kelly. She may be a double crossing homicidal maniac but she knows her cephalopod's and her hair is sooo hot.

Troy and Kelly do the slo'mo run into each others arms. As they embrace, just before they kiss, we hear a painful roar from the squid.

Troy: C'mon Kelly we got a sick squid to save...

Cue credits as they run off hand in hand down the beach.

(BTW. I have some great ideas of how you would make the giant squid using trash bags and vacume cleaner hoses should I win)

We're on the middle of something here, man.
And they start kissing.

"how is that helicopter flying without the blades turning !?"

Because the frame rate is the same as the RPM for the helicopter. Yeah science!

14 seconds of Kelly running in slow motion then a pan to every other character floating in the water.

Skeletal Lamping deserves something for that.

I learned something today.

The follow the onlooker and make an odd discovery: An old row boat is partially out of water and stuck in the wet sand, not unusual for an old sea maiden. However, this one has a poorly constructed whale tail and fins duct taped to the sides (like anyone would buy that!).

Kelly: Ohmigawd, a beached whale. How, like, infinitely tragic.

Troy: That's totally an old boat.

Kelly looks at him suspiciously and jabs: I don't know who never took you to Seaworld, but that is a whale, clearly in distress.

The boat puffs a jet of water into the air, strategically from its supposed blowhole.

Troy, surprised, mutters: Ohmigawd, a whale. ... *looks at Kelly* What do we do?

Kelly notes a small hole on the hull of the boat.

Kelly: I think I have I band-aid or something... *rummages through her on hand med kit.*

She hastily patches the opening and the boat sprays in approval. She guides it out into the water and pushes it out to sea.

Troy joins her watching as the boat glides behind them to better horizons.

Troy turns to her: That was totally impressive. You saved the environment.

Kelly turns to him: Thanks. I marginally passed biology last semester.

They begin to kiss. In the background, the tape on the fins, tail, and hole begin to get wet and fall away from the vessel. The boat slowly sinks as they continue to kiss.

Credits roll.

They run over and see Tracy, who gives the "there's something in the water" guy a giant box of Threadless T-shirts. That guy and Tracy kiss, and the guy with the beard feels terrible because he passed up on an opportunity to get a whole bunch of artsy merchandise. :)

Cut to Kelly’s face: Is that what I think it is?
Cut to Troy’s face: It’s not possible!
Cut to Beach Bum: Quick, administer CPR!
Cut to: a deflated volleyball with a smudged face and the letters WILSON are clearly shown
Troy begins CPR
Kelly (to Troy): make sure you save some for me!
Beach Bum: you think Tom Hanks wants his volleyball back?

or... to include Tracy~

Cut to Kelly’s face: Is that what I think it is?
Cut to Troy’s face: It’s not possible!
Cut to Beach Bum: Quick, administer CPR!
Cut to: a deflated volleyball with a smudged face and the letters WILSON are clearly shown
Troy begins CPR
Kelly (to Troy): make sure you save some for me!
Tracy: and me!
Kelly: back off skank!
Tracy: let's see what you look like without that wig on!
Kelly: bring it!
Kelly and Tracy get into a cat fight in the background while Troy is still giving CPR to the volleyball.
Beach Bum: so you think Tom Hanks wants his volleyball back?

Troy & Kelly Together: Let's go take a look!
~All three go look to find out that it's Tracy, only, they don't know it's Tracy because her face is covered with a GIANT sea star!
Troy: Is that who I, like, think it is?!
Kelly: I really hope not.. :(
~They remove the sea star carefully, puts it to the side to reveal the mysterious person!
Troy: It is, It's Tracy! Holy Cowz, Tracy, are you like, okay?!
Beach Bum #1: Woaaahhhh Duuuude, she's smokin'.
Troy: (Dreamily) yeahhh...
~Tracy opens up her eyes to find Troy holding her head up.
~Troy's head is surrounded by sunlight
Tracy: Oh, MY HERO! I thought I was going to totally meet the sea gods or something!
~Tracy and Troy look into each others eyes for a moment.
~Troy then looks at the sea star again and falls in love. He then walks along the beach with the sea star in hand, and the other three are left in the foreground thinking.. "woah dude, didn't see that coming."

The three of them run down to the water, and find an abnormally large dead great white shark. It looks oddly lumpy, as if it has eaten something large and strangely shaped, so they decide to cut it open.

They pull out their autopsy tools, which they happen to have on hand, and find Tracy, all covered in shark stomach guts. They pull her out and resuscitate her. Luckily she was still barely alive, and they are able to save her life. They ask her what happened, and she said she was just swimming when the shark came and swallowed her whole. She then says: "But the strangest part was, Elvis Presley and Amelia Earhart were in there too!"

It's David Hasselhoff! Kelly doesn't care, but Troy starts squealing like a little girl and declares his undying love to the Hoff. Kelly walks away disgusted.

Troy and Kelli look at each other in surprise and run off to see what washed up on shore.

It's a big wooden chest.

Troy and Tracy exclaim whats that!

Troy opens it and it's pirate gold, and jewels and stuff. He's like "Woah this is awesome!" and puts a tiara on Kelli "Let's run away and be millionaires together!"

Kelli's flips her hair over her shoulder "Oh Troy I Love you!"

Kelli and Troy make out on the treasure

Tracy walks in out of nowhere "I totally knew you were trash Kelli!" and sniffs like a snob. "And Troy! How could you!"

"I'm rich now and don't need you and your inheritence or this sucky life guarding job anymore. Kelli and I are going to run away together!" Troy announces.

Tracy says "Hah! You fool! That was just a decoy there is no treasure! I knew you would find it.. I set up Trent here to make sure of that. I wanted proof that you loved me for me and not my money! You're not worth my time!"

Tracy pulls off beach bums sunglasses and reveals that he's really Trent Halsman the famous private detective.

Beach Bum looks astonished "You're Trent Halsman the famous private detective!"

cue music - dun dun duuuuunnnn....

Kelli flips her hair again, "Hrumph! We have our love! We don't need your treasure! I kept Troy from going to Club Tornado last night because you're not worthy of him! I caught you cheating on him with Greg just last week!"

Tracy shrieks in frustration and runs off crying that her plan backfired.

Troy looks back at Kelli, "You knew all week and didn't tell me!"

Kelli is distraught. Troy gets up and storms off.

Beach bum shrugs knowingly "Chicks!"

Kelli chases after Troy...

It's a message in a bottle, the message is actually a recipe for an awesome sponge cake which troy bakes, and decorates it with "I ♥ Tracey", giving to her on her first date.

It is indeed, as you, gentle viewers, may have guessed... Tracy.

But she is not alone!

Washed up with her is a GIANT SQUID.

Tracy has been supplementing her newly free time between lifeguard shifts with body building and fitness training... and this is the moment she has prepared for.

Troy and Kelli watch in awe as Tracy defeats the giant squid and flings it back into the depths of the sea.

In an epic slow-motion shot, Tracy turns to look at Troy and Kelli.

She opens her mouth to speak (to condemn them? to approve of their new love? who knows??) .... but before even one syllable escapes from her lips, the giant squid's adopted mother, a ferocious pterodactyl (the squid's childhood was a very complicated one... and she never, ever speaks of her father the Yeti) swoops down and carries her up, up, into the air!

Kelli and Troy watch in awe as Tracy is carried off into the sunset, which has conveniently appeared just in time for this glamour shot, then embrace.

The end.

Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum #1 find a dead body face down on the shore. When turned over it is revealed to be another Troy.

Suddenly, Troy is wearing an eye patch. "No one was supposed to find this." Troy points a gun at Kelly.

A gun is fired but Evil Troy falls down. Tracy is behind him and is also holding a gun, having just shot Evil Troy.

"Looks like we are through," Tracy says, "with cloning technology."

Everyone laughs and gives each other high fives.

"something has just washed up on the shore"

Club Tornado had been hit by a tornado during the night and caught Tracy, who was sent flying up in the air and straight into the surf, luckily she had her swimsuit under her clothes and that red plastic buoy thing called "rescue can" on her really small purse...

- OMG, it's Tracy. No one looks as good as her on these lifeguard swimsuits! - said Troy almost drooling - She must have been floating all night!
- Quick, let's choke her and end this - said Kelly

Beach Bum steps in and shows Kelly his badge saying:
- Under cover Police Person. You're under arrest for plotting to murder sweet Tracy, my teenage love.

Troy interrupts Beach Bum saying:
- Wait, she said SHOCK, not CHOKE! Tracy is unconscious and has no pulse.

Troy takes out the resuscitation paddles from his back pocket and yells: CLEAR - shocking her.

Tracy wakes up spitting water and some vodka from last night. She sees beach bum and says:
- Tyler, my secret teenage love!

They kiss.

Troy and Kelly kiss too...

The END :D

Beach Bum #1: "Something has just washed up on the shore!"

Troy: (to a musical montage) What has washed up on our beach?
Kelly: Hold on Troy, let me finish my peach.
Beach Bum: (breaking the montage) Guys, I think it's a body.
Troy: (continuing the montage, ignoring the Bum) That peach is as fuzzy as you are cute.
Kelly: If I were falling would you be my parachute?
(audience says awwww)
Troy: Until I looked into your eyes moments ago, I never thought I'd see love.
Kelly: Troy, we belong together, like a hand and a glove!
Troy: Kelly I must ask, will you be my wife?
Kelly: Oh Troy, I'll love you for the rest of my life!

(They run down the beach, holding hands)

Cue camera onto a body lying by the edge of the water, who had evidently drowned.

The end.

The camera then flips over to a view of the ocean. Then three incredibly hot girls all come out of the water in a synchronized fashion (in slowmo with "Pour Some Sugar on Me" or some other song like that playing in the background). They flip their hair back, then the camera flips over to Troy who has his mouth wide open. The camera then zooms to Kelly who glares at Troy like "What are you staring at?" Then finally Troy turns to Kelly and says "Sorry babe, you know how it is." The end shot then is Kelly walking away angrily and Troy having a water fight with all of the girls. The end.

The camera then flips over to a view of the ocean. Then three incredibly hot girls all come out of the water in a synchronized fashion (in slowmo with "Pour Some Sugar on Me" or some other song like that playing in the background). They flip their hair back, then the camera flips over to Troy who has his mouth wide open. The camera then zooms to Kelly who glares at Troy like "What are you staring at?" Then finally Troy turns to Kelly and says "Sorry babe, you know how it is." The end shot then is Kelly walking away angrily and Troy having a water fight with all of the girls. The end.

Three Styrofoam coolers numbered 1, 2, and 3 are on the beach. The three characters face the water as Troy, puzzled, opens #1 and holds up a tuxedo (or a tuxedo tee shirt). Kelly, also puzzled, opens #2 and holds up a bottle of champagne and two champagne glasses. Beach Bum (smiling) opens #3 and holds up a sign that says "Turn around."

The three turn to see Tracy in a wedding dress. "Troy, will you marry me?" she asks.

Beach Bum is then revealed to have put on a clerical collar, and he is now holding an open Bible. "Shall we begin?" he asks.

Fade on Troy's thoughtful expression as Tracy does a slow burn.

Beach Bum #1: "Something has just washed up on the shore!"

(Troy and Kelly run down the beach to the spot pointed out by the Beach Bum)
Beach Bum: This is the place
(Troy spots an object on the ground)
(Troy and Kelly lean in for a closer look. The object turns out to be a half-eaten bologna and anchovy sandwhich)
Troy: Why would someone...?
(Both Troy and Kelly are hit from behind with blunt objects and go unconscious)
(They wake up in a room full of raving dinosaurs)
(and Tracey)

The end

They run to the water, only to find tracy there, except she's a mermaid. Mainly, she's gasping for air, flopping like a fish, and Kelly takes a bucket of water from a little kid making a sandcastle, and dumps it on Tracy. Troy then turns to Kelly and says, "See, this is why we were through"

Troy and Kelly run to the beach dramatically (Baywatch style), and the Beach Bum randomly interjects ruining their romantic moment. Then, when they finally reach the site of where the washed up object is, they find that it is a person lying face down. They flip it over, and it is Tracy! Except Tracy is actually a really ugly man wearing a wig. But, Troy and Kelly along with the Beach Bum are oblivious to this fact, and only the viewers should realize it. Kelly then asks Troy to choose her or Tracy. He must profess his love for only one. After much decision making by Troy in his mind, weighs over the pros and cons of each girl. First Kelly, doing her hair-flip and blowing kisses as the image in his mind. Then Tracy, the ugly man who is just laying there with her (his) tongue hanging out. He then, reaches his boiling point and screams, "Dude, I think I like Tracy again." He then proceeds to give CPR to her. When, she wakes up they are about to kiss. Then Kelly, who is completely disgusted says, "Whatever, come here!" She then grabs the Beach Bum and plants and weird kiss on him while the Beach Bum's arms are flailing everywhere. The End!

the hot weather is actually due to a diabolical skeam plotted by none other than.... Ermonger! Ruler of the Fest-ites who hales from the dreaded Festa Dome!!!

*Mr. Festa is secretly Ermonger

Then the interrupter and blond babe must fuse their powers together to form....... the ULTIMATE ALLIANCE OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

take it from there (i hope)

i think there was a string holding up the helicopter... too funny

Troy and Kelly run to the shore to see what Beach Bum #1 is talking about and find nothing. They turn around to see Beach Bum #1 standing on the life-guard stand pointing at them (Family Guy evil monkey style) yelling, "Made you look!"

Troy looks slightly to the left of the stand and sees Tracy hauling ass towards him in his car. Tracy hits Beach Bum #1, Troy, and Kelly.

As they are laying on the sand unconcious, she yells, "Why won't anyone dance with me?! These bitches be crazy!"

Ends with a wink.

Kelly: want a sandwich?
Beach bum: No cause then I gotta wait like thirty minutes
Kelly: I'll make sure nothing happens.
Bum: That's how I lost my best friend
Kelly: He drowned?
Bum: No he choked on a sandwich
Tracy takes a bite
Troy: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

A strange creature is shown on shore that looks like a sea monster but it's just Tracy covered in seaweed and other junk from the ocean.
Kelly and Troy spot the "creature".
Troy: What is that Kelly? Protect me!
Kelly: (whips out speaker phone and shouts into it) WHAT DID YOU SAY TROY? (into Troy's face)
Troy falls down from the loud speaker phone.
Troy: AHHH! It's coming towards us!
The "creature" stumbles towards them groggy and spitting up sea water.
Tracy: uhhhhh wheeeere am I?
Kelly: (still with the speaker phone) Stay where you are, whatever you are!
Beach Bum #1:(jumps out of nowhere and pulls of junk/seaweed) It's Tracy!
Everyone: (looks at each other and screams in shock) AHH!

All three run over to the water. They all look shocked.
Beach Bum #1: Bogus!
Kelly: Totally bogus!
Troy reaches down to pick up item. It is a plastic six-pack holder.
Troy:Pollution blows!
All three run back to dump plastic six- pack holder in nearby bin. All three then jump in air to celebrate their victory over pollution and keeping their beach clean.
Freeze frame on jump.

A large banana costume has washed up on shore. Upon approaching, they notice that Tracy is in the costume.
Troy: Tracy? Umm... what... happened?
Tracy: Don't judge me!
Freeze frame on Tracy giving the signature blue steel look from zoolander.

Mindfuck

By Aled Lewis

Scene I Act II:

All run over to the water's edge.

Beach Bum #1 is shaking his head in disbelief.

Kelly: What the hell?!

Troy: It can't be.

Kelly: It's...

Kelly and Troy: US!

Camera pans down to reveal Kelly and Troy (I know!) sitting in the shallow water looking dazed. They are wearing haggered clothes and maybe holding something futuristic - like a hoverboard. They look like they have arrived from a future dystopia. Troy has a slightly bigger beard.

Future Troy: What year is it?

Current Kelly: What?!

Future Kelly: WHAT YEAR IS IT? WHO'S THE PRESIDENT?!

Current Beach Bum #1, Kelly and Troy jump nervously and respond together, but with dishord

Current dudes: It's 2009!

The travelers from the future look crushed.

Future Troy: (muttered) No. (shaking head) NO!

Future Kelly: It didn't work! You said it would work! (smashing fist in the surf and sobbing loudly)

The embrace. Both are crying. Dramatic orchestral music!

Future Troy: DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!

Pan out and upwards. Shot of horizon of Lake Michigan. Crescendo of dramatic orchestral music.

CURTAIN

EDIT: To underline their future credentials - they should be wearing tees that have not been released yet.

Troy and Kelly hurry along side Beach Bum #1 to find out what happened on the beach. WHen they arrive on site, they discover the bloodied body of Tracy. To their amazement, she is holding on to what seems to be a hand.
Troy cannot contain himself, drops down to his knees, obviously upset, and asks in a distraught tone of voice:
- Tracy!? oh, Tracy!! what happened??
A barely conscious Tracy struggles to respond:
- The water... Someone was screaming... Something in the water... Tried to save them...
Not before passing out she gives the mutilated hand to Troy. Zoom out scene of Troy and Kelly looking towards the water, dreading what hides beneath.

troy and kelly jump up and run down the shore, they come to a parked ice cream truck taking orders, they stand in line. kelly hands tory some change and ask for a chaco taco, she continues to run up to the shore with the beach bum she glances left and right but doesnt see anything. kelly looks at the beach bum with a confused look on her face.

kelly - "sun bum?! are you hanging in the sun to long again?"

he responds back

SunBum - "no way, look its right there...its...its...A Magical Sand-Wich!"

she draws her eyes down to her feet and there laid coughing up water the magical sandwich in a top hat and loopy mustache

kelly - "i thought they were only a fairly tale, whooooow"

suddenly the magical sandwich opens his mouth and speaks.

Magical Sandwich - "where am i?"

kelly - " you washed up to shore magical sandwich"

Magical Sandwich - " oh no where is it?!"

he begans to panic.

Kelly - "what? what is it?"

M.S - "my lamp, its gone...last i remember i woke up sinking in the water, and a fish swallowed me but i started to dance . fish don't like when you dance in their stomach so he asked me to leave...and now im here.you have to help me find my home, ill grant you 1 wish... anything anything at all"

kelly looks over at the magical sandwich, and looks back up at the ice cream truck...she notice a girl in roller blades flirting it up with troy.troy even flirting back.it was his ex girl friend,she takes a bit off of his Chaco taco flirting with her eyes, a sudden gloom hangs over kelly, the magical sandwiches voice fades back in,she snaps out of it...

M.S- hellllo?

Kelly - "you said anything i want right?"

he nods his head

M.S - "yea yea anything"

Kelly - "okay you can stay with me for tonight until we find your lamp"

M.S - tiiiiiiiiight i mean thanks so much, daluzee thanks you"

daluzee? huh?

I AM DALUZEE,DALUZEE THE MAGICAL SANWICH!

his mustache wiggles and he winks with one eye. end

embarassed by the moment TROY is unable to form a sensible sentence, but KELLY, quick and sharp as always, distracts BEACH BUM #1.

KELLY: Oh no! What could it be? What is it Beach Bum #1?

Lassie-like BEACH BUM #1 springs away without a further word to the beach, loyal and trusting as always. In this harmonious distaction KELLY and TROY slumbers back, and recaptures the romantic atmosphere that almost past and finishes their long awaited kiss.

Fade to black.

Troy, Kelly and Beach Bum #1 reach the shore.

Eyes wide. Jaws drop.

There lays a wooden-legged, eye-patched, full-bearded PIRATE CAPTAIN. Unconscious.

Kelly: Guys - I think he needs Cardiopulmonary resuscitation!!

(camera zooms in on the Pirate's teeth. They are rotten. Kelly and Troy look at each other in horror. Dramatic music plays.)

Tracy: (suddenly comes waddling up to the scene): Heeeeyyy Guyyssss. Like, What's happening?!

(you see Beach Bum #1 plundering the Pirates pockets in the background and quickly scurrying off)

Troy: (in a fake, sorryful voice) This poor dude's totally unsconscious. Dunno what'll happen if we don't do something soon, but Kelly and I just...

Kelly: ...have deathly, deathly ulcers. We'll need you to -

Tracy: I'm right on it! Saving lives is totally, totally attractive.

(She flashes a smile at Troy, then runs to the Pirate, bends down...)

Troy and Kelly pull faces.

SCENE CHANGE.

Troy and Kelly dance at a club. Out of nowhere, Tracy + Pirate jump into their area, dancing flirtatiously, consequently ruining Troy and Kelly's "moment".

THE END!

I don't care what the next installment is.. .as long as Salma Hayek can run slow-mo down the beach

There was a something lying in the water line, washed up by a rogue storm surge.
As they got closer. they could see that it was a very wet, very dead Beach Bunny, leftover from a beach program/soap opera from the 1980's.
The pneumatic chest appendages had acted as a life raft to float the body to shore, but sadly, it had drowned because of its long synthetic hair extensions, which had wrapped around the neck and effectively strangled it.
Immediately, the 2 live lifeguards tore off their very bad wigs and facial hair.
They gingerly waded to rescue the buoyant corpse. It was difficult to see through their extremely dated eye wear, but then, there are some things you do not want to see.
When the Coastguard had been and gone, the two live lifeguards decided to apply for working visas to Australia, so they could work with Real Men at Bondi, and fight Aussie beach terrors, like sharks, and jellyfish and surfies, and also to rescue living (sic) people from countries that have no surf and can't swim.
And they all looked awful in Speedos. The End

Troy likes the Bondi lifeguards better than the blond chick with a v bad wig. He gets a facial Brazilian and some tinted waterproof contacts. And she falls for someone who is another famous Australian supermodel...or maybe a Tennis player..or Golfer..or Sailor..or Musician...Anyway. no kissing between Kelly and Troy.

The beach bum stayed behind, there's enough of them in Australia already.

So Kelly and Troy run to find an old treasure chest that washes up on shore. When they open it they find gold...or what they think is gold. Really it's chocolate coins and they run to cash it when they find Tracy robbing the bank and they stop her, save the day, and eat lots of chocolate.

They Have A Slow, Jog Over To This "Something That Washed Up On Shore". Beach Bum #1 "Look, There It Is" Troy and Kelly Look Down and Looked Shocked. BUT The Audience NEVER Sees What Washed Up. Bum "WHOAAAAAAAA DUDE, IT'S SO HUGEEEEEEEEEE" Troy and Kelly Agree. Troy "Your Right, It IS HUGEEEEEEEEEE". Kelly "I've Never Seen On That BIGGGGG Before". (CRAP IT'S LIKE 2 SECONDS TO 10) Add Some Filler. The Camera Finally Looks Down and We See That It's Rosie O'Donald's Carreer.

Kelly, Troy, and Beach Bum#1 run to the edge of the surf and on the way Beach Bum #1 starts hitting on Kelly (of course) where they find Beach Bum#2 washed up on shore with two fencing swords. Beach Bum #2 keeps repeating "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" and Kelly grabs the second sword from Beach Bum#2. A battle ensues during which this dialogue occurs...

Beach Bum #2: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die
Kelly: What?
Beach Bum #2: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die
Kelly: Me? Never! I'm only here to protect the lives of innocent swimmers who chose to swim in Lake Michigan.
Troy: My hero.
Beach Bum #2: Ok
Beach Bum #1: I need a drink.
Troy: My hero

Impressed by Kelly's valiant lifeguard skills Troy instantly falls in love with Kelly and the scene ends with a dramatic and passionate kiss and the Beach Bums enjoy a nice cold glass of lemonade by the lifeguard stand. The End.

Troy: Look, Bum, you always do this to me. You're always trying to get between us, but it's not going to work. I also don't care that she's not finished with the operations.
Kelly [spoken through sobs]: I told you, I'm getting it removed.
Bum: Dude, I was just going to tell you that the latest issue of Mall Walkers Magazine washed up on shore.
[cut to a shot of the surf where a copy of Mall Walkers Magazine lies next to the carcass of a dead alien]

The all run down the shoreline
Troy: Look! It's a mermaid!
The three all look.
Mermaid (any guy in costume): MER-MAN!
Kelly pops a bubble gum bubble really loudly

scene cuts.

they all*

The trio run across the beach, while the bum is yelling, "It's a bacon tree! It's a bacon tree!" A few seconds later, they are jumped by some goons. The beach bum wails, "I was wrong! It wasn't a bacon tree! It was a ham-bush!"

It is after 10 am guys. Think you missed it.

The three run away from the beach, to the parking lot. After catching their breath, they turn to the nearest person (say, somebody dresses as a fruit?), panting about something washed up on shore.
Fruit man runs to the beach, finding a large wooden box. Out pops Kristen and Bob (for real) with their prizewheel (the prizewheel is really one of those Sit 'N Spin things that were cool when we were like 3). All of a sudden, the prizewheel starts spitting out 'I heart Threadless" tees!
They all run away.

oh man, I didn't even look at the time. Bummer.

It's a nude Tracy.. who's a (well endowed) man... Kelly looks at Troy and while holding Tracy and says she found a real man.. while the beach bum says "bummer dude... but seriously... you can't compete"

CONTEST IS OVER WINNER HAS BEEN CHOSEN TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION.

*IS EXCITED*

Me too I know I won't win, but I can't wait to see who did.

The three of them run over to the shore (slow motion of course) and find that it's Tracy, lying there motionless. Troy's feelings for Tracy return in this one moment and gets on his knees to try and resuscitate her back to life but is unsuccessful. He starts sobbing. The Beach Bum guy starts hitting on Kelly now. Because little did Troy know that the Beach Bum killed Tracy to get closer to the extremely "gorgeous" Kelly. Troy realizes this a little too late, since Kelly has now gone off with the Beach Bum. Troy sits there alone. and now pretends that Tracy's dead body is still alive and takes it on a date. The end. =D

CONTEST IS OVER WINNER HAS BEEN CHOSEN TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION.

Oh no!! it's over!! this is disappointing! I was going to say that they found the cast of "That 70s show" in a raft smoking a hookah (because it's legal!). and they join... and have an orgy... and babies pop out of nowhere... the end...

-Beach Bum #1 leads them far down the beach.
Troy: I don't see anything you guys...(Looks over at Kelly)
-Kelly rips off her wig and sunglasses to reveal that she's actually TRACY!
Troy: WHAT!?! TRACY!?!
-Tracy: I know you didn't want to be with me anymore, so I put on this disguise to fool you into working with me.
-Troy: Work with you!?! I never want to see you. I told you last week I have to focus on my ninja training. You know this life guarding thing is just a cover story.
-Beach Bum #1: And this Beach Bum thing is just a cover story too... I'm actually a PIRATE!
-Ninja Troy and Pirate Beach Bum realize they are mortal enemies and this must be settled the only was possible... In an Ice cream eatoff.
-Screen Flashes: TWO HOURS LATER
-Tracy, Beach Bum #1, and Troy appear to be in a kitchen. Troy and Beach Bum #1 each have a thing of ice cream in front of them.
-Tracy: READY, SET, GO!!!
-Both men begin eating their carton of ice cream.
-Screen fades out then flashes: AND THE WINNER IS...
-Shot of Troy covered in ice cream and yelling in victory. Beach Bum #1 laying on the floor groaning.
-Tracy: I always knew Ninjas were the best...
-Troy: No Tracy... you always knew I was the best.
-They embrace...

END

CONTEST IS OVER WINNER HAS BEEN CHOSEN TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION.

Oh Ross, you are so dedicated.

Nope just bored

It's up and I can't act...

that.
was.
awesome!

No one ever suspsects the Beach Bum wearing 80's shades!

congrats scott610101208431!

Hahaha. That was great.

Craazzyy! But it ended too soon! Did they end up in the water or not!!??

That was so great. Much better than the first ending, I think.

They did not as the water is currently a brisk 58 degrees Fahrenheit.

also, I can't wait to release a blooper reel of all of these videos.

flippin amazing ending!!!

Geez. Festa is the cutest.

That was acting at its finest. heh, Also, way to go on the wig falling off at the end.

This was great.

haha cool

hey what happened with this? I wanna see some endings!

shimala on Jun 05 '09

also, I can't wait to release a blooper reel of all of these videos.

Can't wait!