this is my first ever design so it's not the best. i didn't spend a lot of time on it either... i figured all you scorers could give your suggestions to make it better. i'll be reading the comments frequently so i would appreciate you leaving them. the text reads:



Fear.

What is fear?



Close your eyes.

What do you see?

Nothing.



Fear doesn't come from what we can see.

No, no.



What scares us is what we can't see...

ok...haha...

ok...i don't really understand the signifigance of thoes lines floating, it looks like you just kinda put them there cause you were bored or something.

yes... this is kinda poor :\



if you could come up with a better design than simply lines, you may be going somewhere with this shirt.. otherwise, it just crashed head-on into a nuclear plant. sorry.

no me gusta

the lines don't have a specific purpose. you're supposed to use your imagination. i'm not a designer, and like i said, this is my first design, so obviously it's not going to be the absolute best. if you have other suggestions, let me know. if you don't like the lines, what about the text?

You know what would be good in the middle of those lines?

A magician !

a magician? for what?

Okay, this is one of my pet peeves. if the lines don't have a purpose, why put them there? Elements that don't add anything to the design at all can only do one of two other things: they can affect nothing but waste space, or they can spoil the design outright. Don't be afraid of blank space, it is one of a designer's greatest tools and assets.



I'd also like to know where the text comes from. Did you write that? It doesn't matter either way though, as it just comes off as trite. Your shirt is about fear, but what in the design reflects that theme? Think about that and then you might find a purpose for any other elements you choose to put on the shirt. Just don't put them there if you don't have a valid reason to. (And "because it looks good" IS a valid reason, albeit a subjective one, but could you honestly say that in this case that is true?)



Finally, get rid of that coloured box around your type, and if your line ends are supposed to meet up, make them.

try again...don't give up! Use your words to find a new concept- a new look. Pick even one word and work with it. i.e.; eye, fear, scared.

hey everyone



thanks for the comments. i wish there was a little more constructiveness to them rather than just "it's bad or it's not there yet." if anyone has any ideas feel free to let me know



Controleuse-

thanks for the advise. the first two parts of the text come from a short film i saw. the second two i wrote up. and about the coloured box around the text... i originally made this design in publisher (i know i shouldn't be using that program but i did anyways) before i knew how to get the designs on here. so i tried to match up the color of the text box to the background of the shirt and didn't quite get it. i didn't want to waste time as it wasn't that big of a difference. so it's not supposed to be like that. and what line ends don't meet up? the ones leading to the text? they looked fine at the zoom level they're at, so i didn't change them.

I don't like the disembodied lines. Plus it's hard to give constructive criticism when you didn't put any effort into the design in the first place...but if your idea revolves around words...then get ride of the graphic garbage and focus on text...text shirts can be really cool if well done.

Everything said, I guess. Nevertheless, I kinda like the text, even if it's stol... if you were inspired by someone else's work. Proves it's good work (the text, that is)...

Umm.. I like the text even if it is "trite"..! Maybe you could turn the disembodied lines into a spider's web (minus the spider) or something like that... it would kind of relate to the text cos lots of people fear spiders.. among other things they can't actually see... Or maybe a dead body to symbolise death.. or maggots.. I hate maggots... or someone sky diving/ bungee jumping... or an aeroplane... or buttons... or... well, you get my drift? Sorry if it's a dumb suggestion/ you've already thought about it, but you sound like you want suggestions. What do you fear? Maybe stick that in the middle... Or a big old question mark? Or a black hole/ dark tunnel... Or maybe you could just stick everyone's comments in the middle. Or maybe nothing (like someone already suggested) but the lines sort of do make sense to me cos they are "nothing" and are kind of creepy cos they don't mean anything.

I see what you're trying to do with the center design...the lines correspond with the last line of text about fearing what you can't see. I think this shirt might not be too bad if those lines in the center were gone, because the small text and non-traditional placement of it somewhat relates to the abstract sort of message, because people won't be able to read the text right away (and thus won't be able to "see" it right away). Then leaving the chest blank wouldn't be too bad. So I would say in this case the center piece does more harm than good for this design.



I agree about making the line ends meet up (on the lower part). I think what Controleuse meant was the bottom horizontal line overreaching the vertical one. I would clean that up and also, align your text on the right edge - the word "no" looks out of place.

Actually, I fear a lot of what I can see. Like MTV.

Ditch the random lines at the top. Raise the entire design.

"Fear doesn't come from what we can see" to "No, no" makes it weak.

get yourself illustrator, and you could have some real fun, there is something there, pick yourself up a copy of Philip Meggs' The History of Graphic design. Check out the bauhaus, de stijl, dada, get your "design" eye opened, there is some thing there, poetic, the lines reflect the text to me, rambling in a way as the words do, also look at some already printed shirts, your own or those at a store, the restrictions of your average screen (as threadless uses) would not allow printing to the side, most designs you've seen here do not abide by this, and it really does not matter, but restictions also open up a design as does utilizing the negative space (as mentioned above)... good work, good luck, and keep it up... oh yeah, this is way more interesting than the FLASHMASTERS web site....hheheheheheheheheh

Actually, I thought the lines were fur from a cat that had run away scared. :/





But even if that was the purpose, i'd still not buy it. Keep trying, but just try and make your design concepts more absolute before re-submitting.

It's a good start. I like words in a peace of art. they add a lot to the quality of the peace. But it can also mass it up.



see ya



ps.: Hey the font you asked about on my coutch is called "FUTURA Lt Bt"