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Never Trust an Owl

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Scoring finished:
779 days ago
Submitted on:
Apr 09 '10
Comments:
61 comments
Average score:
2.66 from 519 votes
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Starrfold

About my design

by Starrfold   
It is clear to most of us now that owls must be stopped. This shirt clearly illustrates the most popular reasons why you simply cannot trust the creatures. Narrowing the reasons down to the core 6 most important was not an easy task. We all know that there are at least 12,000 reasons why you cannot trust an owl. I will list a few more that did not make it onto the shirt... 1) They flap their wings into your ice cream cone (when you are holding an ice cream cone). 2. The population of owls doubles every six weeks and the air will soon be far too polluted with owl dander for us to breathe. 3. Owls have night vision that is so strong that it borders on x-ray vision and they can sorta see your underwear--this is a HUGE invasion of human/owl privacy.



I hope you will vote and soon wear this shirt proudly... we simply must protect the environment (by destroying owls)!



7 regular inks, 1 glow in the dark ink

Large design on front, small design on back (design on back is optional... but I love it!)
ivejustquitsmoking
   ivejustquitsmoking on Apr 09 '10
hey!! awesome comeback!
truevine
truevine on Apr 09 '10
It's so fun. I love owls but I can't trust them any more~lol
ThankfulKitteh
ThankfulKitteh on Apr 09 '10
FINALLY THAR IZ JUSTICE 4 ALL US KITTEHS!
midi-chlorinated
midi-chlorinated on Apr 09 '10
great!!
Bio-bot 9000
Bio-bot 9000 on Apr 09 '10
haha, cool. I think it needs some kind of title on the front to convey the concept. something like... "Never trust an owl"
alexmdc
   alexmdc on Apr 09 '10
very good!!!!
YaaH
   YaaH on Apr 09 '10
4
Professor Oswald Owl
Professor Oswald Owl on Apr 09 '10
This shirt concept is not factual. We owls absolutely have a neck; it is simply hidden beneath our danderous patches of down.
FRICKINAWESOME
   FRICKINAWESOME on Apr 09 '10
This is positively giddy with fun details and goofiness! Really fun design and not-so-factoids. Love the back print as well, although i could see that printed near the back of the neck. Nice work and great to see you back!



4.
soloyo
soloyo on Apr 09 '10
Great
spookylili
spookylili on Apr 09 '10
haha nice!

i love owls :D
Professor Oswald Owl
Professor Oswald Owl on Apr 09 '10
Let it also be noted that you humans do not have enough bake sales. We would attend your bake sales and purchase your baked goods (rather than steal them) if the opportunity was presented. However, currently owls are not a welcome guest at the very few bake sales that are still held. For instance, I tried to buy a Georgia Pecan Pie at the Augusta Community College bake sale just last week, but was escorted from the premises before I could pull the money from the danderous patches of down around my neck. I do not see why I could not be left alone to purchase the many baked goods I had planned on purchasing... I had only dipped my beak into two of the pies to check which had the thickest (and richest) consistency of custard. To be honest, the custard in both pies was sub-par, at least by my highly tuned owl standards.
yetitutu
yetitutu on Apr 09 '10
Q
Jwomack3
Jwomack3 on Apr 09 '10
This is grrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaattttttt! I love the colors and art style. I hope this makes a shirt, i would buy one! :)
vintz
   vintz on Apr 10 '10
excellent!
dontcare
dontcare on Apr 10 '10
WOW... I love it,
bengineer
   bengineer on Apr 10 '10
hahaha, so awesome! $5
murraymullet
   murraymullet on Apr 10 '10
Great illustration!
Starrfold
   Starrfold on Apr 10 '10
Thanks for all of your comments and support so far! You guys are great, and it's good to back.



In celebration of my first submission in 519 days, I have decided to hold a contest.



To the person that posts the funniest, most off-the-wall, or most truthful reason not to trust an owl... I will send a mostly awesome prize pack, including a $50 Threadless gift certificate, among other goodies. The prize pack will make you cooler in the eyes of your fellow owl haters and maybe even lovers. It also includes a few items to protect you from the winged nuisances. I will send out the prize pack to the writer of the best comment on my design as soon as it has ended, regardless of whether it prints or not.



Details of the prize pack are given on my latest blog post.



Good luck and have fun!
Ethan Oort
Ethan Oort on Apr 10 '10
They kiss with their eyes open. SKETCHBALLS!
FatCatChan
FatCatChan on Apr 10 '10
love it, love it.



they're owlt to get us all
thegoodpope
   thegoodpope on Apr 11 '10
I like the style, reminds me of the art on Wes Anderson Critrion DVD's... 4
rbthatcher
rbthatcher on Apr 12 '10
Owls can turn their heads an unGodly amount...no thanks!



Hehehehehehehehehehehe
Chipmnk
Chipmnk on Apr 12 '10
Excellent.
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 12 '10
How can it be possible to trust an animal with eyes those big? Just look at them! They must see all. Who knows, they might be able to see through walls, etc. Then they'd really see all. That's just creepy.
PBOt
PBOt on Apr 12 '10
Thats really cool!
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 12 '10
I don't trust owls because they have something else associated to their name: OWLs, the Purdue Online Writing Lab. Who knows, maybe owls are secret agents of the OWL sent on a writing mission. They'll fly into your home, kidnap you, and take you to a far away place where they force you to write constantly. This is what gives little children owlphobia. Beware!
psykomakia
psykomakia on Apr 12 '10
Owls can kill with an evil glare from their horrifically evolved eyes, followed by half-digesting their victim and excreting them in a little dense ball of recognizable remains. #1 on the list of "worst ways to die."
tadstick
tadstick on Apr 12 '10
4
massala.k
massala.k on Apr 13 '10
Love your style !
Starrfold
   Starrfold on Apr 13 '10
Thanks, everyone!



Thegoodpope: That's a really nice compliment, I love Wes Anderson. Thank you:)



Keep the funny/crazy reasons coming!
ratkiss
   ratkiss on Apr 13 '10
Great!
Jemae
   Jemae on Apr 13 '10
haha! ..yes they are! 5$! :))
blue sparrow
   blue sparrow on Apr 13 '10
Wonderfully done
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
lol@professor oswald owl's comments. i need to win because i am the leader of the owl club and the fee to join so happens to be a $50 gift certificate.



$5 and i'll post this on the club page :)
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
owls never send Get Well cards. they are such self-centered jerks. probably because they are so devilishly handsome...
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
owls love anchovies on their pizzas. and they'll order them just so you won't want to eat any of the pizza.
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
owls often drive without a license. they have been known to hoot at pretty girls in a most lewd manner (probably something to do with the x-ray vision).
jess4002
jess4002 on Apr 13 '10
5$
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
owls will outbid you at the last second on eBay and then not pay (their credit is terrible). ok, i'm done ;)
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 13 '10
Or am i? Owls will order porn at a hotel and charge it to your credit card. They steal prom dates, even the ugly ones. And they tell all your friends that you still pee the bed.
theinfinityloop
theinfinityloop on Apr 13 '10
I like the one with the kitten head!
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 13 '10
Owls practically look like the devil. Or wait. Maybe because they ARE the devil. And we all know that trusting the devil is. The last thing you'd want to trust the devil with is your soul. So, I'm pretty sure you're not going to want to trust your soul with an owl either. They'd probably eat it or something.
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 14 '10
Owls often make outrageous claims, like saying they created Niagara Falls or that they invented the George Foreman grill.
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 14 '10
Everyone thinks that the owl is smart; however, this is a big misunderstanding. The human brain (1,300-1,400 grams) is noticeably larger than the owl brain (2.2 grams). With this fact established, you're probably thinking,"So what." or "Who cares?" Well, you should care!!! This new bit of data reveals to us that owls are relatively stupid. The phrase, "Dumb as a doornail” should be immediately changed to "Obtuse as an owl." The whole concept of owls having great wisdom is a lie! The human race has been lied to by a devious little bird. I call a fowl! This my friends is why I don’t trust owls. This my friends is why you shouldn’t either. Good morning, good afternoon, good night!
jess4002
jess4002 on Apr 14 '10
you should never trust an owl because they don't die. seriously, they don't. have you ever seen an owl die on television? no. all they do is stare into your heart, you scream like a little girl - i don't know why, i mean, you have the guts to take a dark and scary stroll but you scream at an owl? crazy - then you run, trip over some twigs that appear out of thin air, and that's that. what happens to the owl? it sits there. and we never see or hear about it again.



they don't die. they never will die. maybe they're zombies on the inside. or a cyborg. or an aged owl sleeping with his eyes open. anyways, that's why you shouldn't trust them. they're immortal. and you're not.
rossmat8
rossmat8 on Apr 14 '10
Never trust an owl because owls never learn anyone's name. Also nobody trusts owls because although they given us the straight answer, we still claim we don't know the amount of licks to reach the center of a tootsie pop.
Professor Oswald Owl
Professor Oswald Owl on Apr 14 '10
Owls may seem immortal, but we do in fact die. We are just very private about our dying. It is understandable to believe that we are immortal, as we do live to be 1400-1600 years old before we use our last amounts of energy to dig into the earth with our talons. Though we are usually very social creatures, we die tired and alone, in the shallow holes that we have dug.



Just kidding, I would never tell a human when and if we owls die!
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 14 '10
^

Did you just see what Professor Oswald Owl just tried to pull there? He tried to pull a fast one on us all by describing some very complicated data and statistics which propelled us all into a mind warp of a two year old. The Owls are invading my friends. Grab your Owl traps and hide your mice. They're coming!
The Siege
The Siege on Apr 14 '10
$$$$$!
Tikimasters
Tikimasters on Apr 15 '10
Gotta love the owls :)
bogdant
bogdant on Apr 15 '10
very nice

Notorius BMV
Notorius BMV on Apr 15 '10
i dont trust owls because they are constantly singing "who are you" by the who. anyone or thing that only knows one song and one band must never be trusted.



Owls also hate pie and steal candy, and thats just wrong on sooooo many levels.
EN AJUSTES
EN AJUSTES on Apr 16 '10
Nice work!

I don't trust owls because they tend to attack me.
clover2004
clover2004 on Apr 16 '10
I Like ...^^
jshepp
jshepp on Apr 16 '10
Way underscored, probably a bunch of owls voted it down because they didn't want word to get out. :O
2 days later
laurastead
laurastead on Apr 19 '10
an owl conspiracy most likely was the reason this didn't score as well as it deserved... sneaky bastards.
bengineer
   bengineer on Apr 19 '10
underscored, love it! :(
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