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Your concept is great, but needs to be a little more visceral, its too cartoony for a saying like this... with some revisions you could get a great shirt out of this...
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keep the hay/straw since i figure that's what most people think when they hear the phrase any way. the drinking straw just throws you for a funny loop.
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i'm one of the people who think you should lose the hay/other straws. to me it's funnier if the huge straw is singular; THE straw that broke the camel's back.
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About my design