I only beat animals that are full of candy
I just started the zombie diet and I feel smarter already
Cliques: the sound buttons make
The good life is being overpaid and underworked
Zombies have the smartest diet
Horizons put every thing into perspective
I'm always prepared to answer rhetorical questions
I prefer hot dogs over cool cats
Toilets take crap from everybody
Sneakers always get tongue tied
Tourists are going places
Read faster or I'll think you're checking me out
Plastic gets all the credit these days
Do not let gravity get you down
Bunnies: the original hip hop artists
Kangaroos started the fanny pack trend
Asking for directions would give away that I'm treasure hunting
I'm a leader, follow me
It approximately takes five days to recover from a good weekend
If I was a cartoon I'd wear the same thing daily
Cliffs make me edgy
Ygolohcysp: reverse psychology
Having self control feels selfish to me
I save the world one roll of duct tape at a time
I can always count on my abacus
I only run with scissors when I'm chasing paper
I feel that gravity has some control issues
I figured all white rabbits lived in black top hats
I only wear my cape when I fly
Multiplayer games taught me how to share
Clocks: the first time machine
I can tame a fire with a stick and a marshmallow
I read all of my books on tape
Gullible people always read my t-shirt
Plan B is my only back-up plan
Words always speak louder than mimes
The grass is always greener when it's artificial
My only death wish would be to live forever
A comic book is worth a thousand speech bubbles
I am only a part-time superhero until I find a full-time villain
I'm tired of being an insomniac
Word of mouth is just a rumor
I don't kill people, I only kill who they think they are
I only cook with microwavable instructions
My side of the story will be illustrated in storyboard format
When I'm famous, people will quote me. - me
I was raised in a nudist colony, this is my first t-shirt
I miss work when it was called an allowance
I'm not one to judge, especially not without my gavel
The theory of relatives is all genetic
The nugget is my favorite part of the chicken
I always wave back to mannequins
Apparently, I am not invisible
sticks and stones start fires and break windows all the time
permanent markers always make a lasting impression
eating with both hands is a balanced diet
food is one of the friendliest enemies known to man
my map still thinks the world is flat
don't mind me, i am just an extra in your life story
the story of my life is unrated and uncut
a time machine would help me kill time more effectively
i pretend to listen as you pretend to know what you are saying
street smarts mean nothing if you don't look both ways
the dumbest people seem to know everything
running is a defensive reaction when being chased, not excercise
to do list: 1. list things to do
kids and coffee: better grounded
the only thing that gets me down is gravity.
the art of patience is a big waste of time.
morning people should get night jobs. it is only fair.
crossing time zones is close enough to time travel.
i only give wrong directions to tourists.
always carry a mustache, never know when you need to be sneaky.
be careful what you wish for, unicorns are mean.
your shadow is touching me.
respect your elders, they've ran uphill barefoot on lava n'stuff.
Quick, Look Suspicious.
if the shoe fits, it's probably yours.
asking for directions would give away that i am lost.
running is overrated when you can skip.

*TeEs i OwN*
...for me...









...for other's...