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of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Gastroenterologists have a good gut feeling.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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This is as good as I'm going to get.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Two wrongs do not make a right but it sure is twice the fun.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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A bitter end is every good sequel's beginning.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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The bitter end is every good sequel's beginning.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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If you find me interesting, let's go back to the headquarters
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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I don't eat sugar but I can make an exception this time...
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I just erased everyone from my Facebook.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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What the hell is a disco stick?
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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I like tiny things.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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Trying is fun. Try it.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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i hate crying alone.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I wish people gave me more attention
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Vomit Omelet
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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I wish I were talented
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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I wish I was talented
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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I feel like poop! Make sure to text me a lot
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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I feel like respecting guys today
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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I feel like Pocahontas every time I ride the canoe
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity
of 19 votes, 42% like it
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Knotty, tangled & tortuous
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Defy the odds
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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The internet is a mighty force that powers my life.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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We are eating the future. 1 burger at a time.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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Home is where Rock Band is.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Home is where RockBand is.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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We are eating the future.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Clothes can't make the man. Unless a woman picks the clothes.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Home is where the PS3 is.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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A cougar cannot change her lines.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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Knowledge is power.
More like, Internet is power.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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a dollar for your thoughts
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Home is where the Xbox is.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Clothes can't make the man.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Clothes makes the man.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Words speak louder than words.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Accidents will happen.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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Actually, sex makes the heart grow fonder.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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8008 (Boob)
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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I need a <Br>
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I need a <Br>
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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<B>Bold<B>
of 27 votes, 7% like it
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<B>
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Learn everything, unlearn anything.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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I just bought some positivity and all i get is negative
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Pondering double standards
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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Birth day.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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My day.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Beige day.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Brown day.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Green day.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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Pink day.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Blue day.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Yellow day.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Purple day.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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Fame is obsolete
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Fame is overrated
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Pulveratricious: Covered with dust
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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You are the mungo in my dumpster.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I need my finnimbrun back.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
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Simplification of the complicated mind.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Oversimplification is an art.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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Uncensored vocabulary
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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My vocabulary is uncensored.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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El Chupacabras
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Stand out or die.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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If i were a man, i would like to be a woman.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Stay away. PMS in process.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Chuck Norris would be proud of you.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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100% Chupacabra
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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La llorona
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Twitter blackout day.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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TV is the source of my knowledge.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Oranges rhymes with lozenges
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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Procrastinate to Procreate
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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When we procrastinate, we procreate.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
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Think about it. It could be worse.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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What is this, F***ing Narnia?
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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We are all survivors
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Do you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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96.7% of all statistics are wrong.
of 18 votes, 44% like it
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My medication is wearing off.
of 19 votes, 42% like it
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I don't mean to stare
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Do you have room in your life for another friend?
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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Warning, contains nuts.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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You could be a winner.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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This product has not been tested on animals
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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Virtual Sex Machine
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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I am a clone
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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I'm always late
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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I'm the solution to that problem
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I'd add you to my cart
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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I make diamonds for a living
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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The end of an era.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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I'm a vegetarian that eats meat.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Lab experiment.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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Then a miracle occured
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Then a miracle occurs
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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Thanks Mom
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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This is your fault
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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Deli Meat
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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Girls don't Sh**
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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Childish: erratic behavior that may attract attention.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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BUKKAKI
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Ask me about salads
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Dreams: a positive look into the future.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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Dreams: a positive, unrealistic look into the future.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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Frightened of commitment.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Vanity: a proof that ones ego is bigger than they are.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Tiny Dancer.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Conscience: an excuse.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Aw So Me
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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Ask me more about me.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Ask More
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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Oh you know...the usual...bought a house...having a baby
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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I'm a cheap vintage item.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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Cheap vintage item.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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I've gotten better with the years.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Excuse me...I'm trying to look at your boobs.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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Just imagine we are all naked.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Don't be afraid of speaking up, just imagine we are all naked.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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I try to maintain a healthy level of insanity
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Caution: Hot surface
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Hard hats required.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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Invisible laser radiation when open.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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Admittance to authorized personnel only.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Low Clearance.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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You are the worm in my tequila.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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Warning: I Stink.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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Warning: I Smell.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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Quiet movie watcher.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Quiet movie watcher. Wanna go for a date?
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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I love Jesus. I mean, my brother's name is Jesus.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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My ego is not big, I just know I'm attractive.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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Tickle me and I'll pay you a dollar.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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I'm a vampire. Wanna go out?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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Suck my blood.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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Kiss me, i'm a vampire.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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I love lovers.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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If i lose weight, where does it go?
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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Let's checkout together
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Add me to your cart.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Habanero
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Peer pressure authority
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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Proud.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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-40 Degrees
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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142 characters, multiple personalities.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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142 characters
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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I have hyper-active clicking disorder.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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I have hyper-clicking disorder.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Yes, I shaved my head. It wasn't an accident.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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UMAMI
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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I am UMAMI.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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Look at my dog, she farts on command.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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I fart on request.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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It's my decision to look like a nerd.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Wit is ugly people's charm.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Irony Vs. Sarcasm
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Being witty is an accident.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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I know the answer...but i wish i didn't.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Let's admit it, we are the aliens.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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#CC00CC
of 27 votes, 4% like it
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uoy rof 1 em rof 2
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I am a single lady
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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I hear you, I just don't get it.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I once listened, not anymore.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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Swaggeree
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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This city needs an enema.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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This world needs an enema.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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I am the blue pill.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Wash your dirty mug.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Hate to be you.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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That's a deal breaker!
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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Irony is my best friend.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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2G2BT
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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LFM ASAP
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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You are the vertex of my pentagon.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
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I don't eat veggies, don't judge me.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Scientists have just discovered people on Neptune.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Google my name.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
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Manhole.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Guilty!
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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IFLML
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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I'd follow your Tweets
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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Would you care for a pickle?
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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