Abe was a good ole man killing vampires with an axe in his hand.
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
SPOILER ALERT: It Was Me!!!
of 49 votes, 20% like it
|
SPOILER ALERT: This shirt has words on it.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
|
|
SPOILER ALERT: I'm the evil twin.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
|
Einstein Never Met a Stranger Because Everyone is Relative.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
|
Bet I Can Quit Gambling Before You.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I'm not crazy. Just ask my imaginary friends.
of 52 votes, 25% like it
|
My imaginary friends can beat up your imaginary friends.
of 48 votes, 38% like it
|
If. I. Was. A. Starship. Captain. This. Is. How. I'd. Talk.
of 58 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Knights in Shining Armor is Sooo 1450.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
GIBLET (Just because it sounds funny.)
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
I hate leading questions. Don't you?
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I hate being asked leading questions. Don't you?
of 42 votes, 24% like it
|
Just call me Zelda, because Hyrule.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
|
I Hear Cave Exploration is Going Underground.
of 50 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Give me another shot! I promise I won't Michigan.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
|
Just call me yardstick, because I rule.
of 59 votes, 31% like it
|
Today's Random Thought is Brought to You By Potato.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Surprisingly, A Mouse Knows Nothing About Computers.
of 54 votes, 15% like it
|
I'm the humblest person in the world. Don't believe it? Ask me.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
|
Today's Random Thought is Brought to You By Punk Rock Space Panda
of 51 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I want everyone to know I'm the most humble person on the planet.
of 58 votes, 19% like it
|
If Awesome Could Talk, It'd Sound Like This.
of 59 votes, 19% like it
|
If. I. Was. A. Starship. Captain. This. Is. How. I. Would. Talk.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Einstein never went to family reunions since everyone's relative.
of 52 votes, 35% like it
|
The Earth's Always Under the Weather.
of 42 votes, 26% like it
|
Unfortunately, Growing Up Requires Wearing Pants.
of 123 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Dessert is as Easy as 3.14159.
of 61 votes, 48% like it
|
Company Thinks Misery is Nice But Doesn't Think It'll Work.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
|
Misery Loves Company, But Company Only Wants to be Friends.
of 57 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Hydrogen and Oxygen are a Gas!
of 62 votes, 26% like it
|
Milk is Udderly Delicious.
of 76 votes, 33% like it
|
Contrary to Popular Belief, Mice Know Nothing About Computers.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I yell "BINGO!" at inappropriate times.
of 66 votes, 42% like it
|
Cannibals Like Jokes But Prefer Tongue and Cheek.
of 63 votes, 33% like it
|
Bigfoot Enjoyed Being a Cook, But Hated the Full Body Hairnet.
of 87 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Weightlifters Are Really Into Heavy Metal!
of 59 votes, 24% like it
|
Taxes!
of 63 votes, 16% like it
|
Exclamation Points Make Everything Seem More Exciting!
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Cannibals Like Jokes, But They Prefer Tongue and Cheek.
of 73 votes, 40% like it
|
Skydivers Make Falling Into a Job Look Easy.
of 63 votes, 21% like it
|
Dyslexic Scarecrows Are Made Of wartS.
of 63 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Spiders have more than one leg up on the competition.
of 67 votes, 24% like it
|
Never Challenge Spiders to a Tap Dancing Contest.
of 66 votes, 26% like it
|
Bats Backwards is STAB. And That's Why I Love Baseball.
of 78 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Presents Now! I'll Pretend to Like the Cards Later.
of 79 votes, 27% like it
|
Swordfish Like to Stay En Garde.
of 74 votes, 31% like it
|
Spiders are Jealous of my Web Presence.
of 76 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Keyboards Love Having their Buttons Pushed.
of 61 votes, 41% like it
|
Mosquitos: The Original Vampires
of 77 votes, 43% like it
|
My Shining Armor is at the Cleaners, so this shirt'll have to do.
of 76 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I'm fine with stoning people as long as it's with Soft Rock.
of 64 votes, 33% like it
|
Blacksmiths are into Heavy Metal.
of 84 votes, 40% like it
|
Warning: I'm armed. I'm also legged.
of 74 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Canadians Play Puck, Puck, Moose.
of 60 votes, 27% like it
|
Green Tea: Like Regular Tea Only with More Zombie
of 67 votes, 25% like it
|
Sound Waves Have Their Ups and Downs.
of 83 votes, 39% like it
|
|
Knight in Shining Tee.
of 75 votes, 20% like it
|
Hardware Stores are Filled with Tools.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
Green Tea: Best Not to Ask How We Made it Green.
of 69 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Mechanics Work with a Bunch of Tools.
of 66 votes, 23% like it
|
Cave Exploration is Going Underground.
of 70 votes, 21% like it
|
Catchy Slogan!
of 57 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Your Knight in a Shiny T-Shirt.
of 74 votes, 26% like it
|
Knife to Meet You. Come Back Spoon.
of 76 votes, 34% like it
|
Sopranos Are Nothing But Treble.
of 82 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Uppercase Words Speak Louder Than Actions.
of 81 votes, 42% like it
|
You Get the Milk and Cookies. I'll Hide the Bodies.
of 96 votes, 36% like it
|
Don't Pick a Fight With a Vegetarian. They Know Tofu.
of 94 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Clothespins: Handy in a Pinch
of 71 votes, 25% like it
|
Falling into a Job Comes Natural to Skydivers.
of 78 votes, 19% like it
|
Scuba Diving is a Sink or Swim Kind of Business
of 65 votes, 23% like it
|
|
My Mouse and I Just Click.
of 72 votes, 31% like it
|
T-Randy Was Never as Scary as His Older Brother Rex.
of 67 votes, 31% like it
|
You make the switch. I'll create a diversion
of 78 votes, 31% like it
|
|
T-Rex: Because T-Randy Doesn't Have the Same Effect
of 75 votes, 23% like it
|
Selling Umbrellas is Shady Business.
of 76 votes, 29% like it
|
Fish Parties are Off the Hook.
of 71 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Warning: Apple has pp in it
of 76 votes, 25% like it
|
Oddly Enough, Keyboards Love Having Their Buttons Pushed.
of 67 votes, 39% like it
|
Windows think they're clever, but I can see right through them.
of 71 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I'm Punctual:?!.;
of 70 votes, 29% like it
|
i'm not a CAPITALIST. i'm a lowercase-ist.
of 70 votes, 27% like it
|
Is it the End of the World yet?
of 63 votes, 21% like it
|
|
You may be the Cat's Meow, But I'm the Rooster's Cocka-Doodle-Doo
of 55 votes, 20% like it
|
The Cat's Outta the Bag, But the Bear's Still in the Refrigerator
of 61 votes, 36% like it
|
I've got an on-again, off-again relationship with switches.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Math is a four letter word. Then again, so is beer.
of 74 votes, 22% like it
|
Math teachers know all the angles.
of 65 votes, 23% like it
|
Why does my case of the Monday's start on Sunday night?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I placed first in the balderdash.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
|
Tires Really Know How to Handle the Pressure.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
|
I'm about to create a diversion.
of 30 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Everyone says 7 ate 9, but that's a cover up. 7 was 86'd.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
|
It's not rocket science... unless it actually is rocket science.
of 26 votes, 50% like it
|
(On Front) I'm Not Scared. (On Back) My Shirt Has Got My Back!
of 50 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Dragonflies would be so much cooler if they were real dragons
of 41 votes, 54% like it
|
Ask me why I don't answer questions from strangers.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
|
I'm Not Scared. My Shirt's Got My Back.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
|
X Marks the Spot. But If You See a W or Y, We're Close.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
|
Better get a spaceship, because I'm out of this world.
of 25 votes, 52% like it
|
Every Time You Pop Your Collar, a Baby Kitten Dies.
of 39 votes, 51% like it
|
|
To Conserve Electricity, I'm Willing to Punch People's Lights Out
of 50 votes, 42% like it
|
Milk is utterly bovine.
of 42 votes, 31% like it
|
I heard the exam's a piece of cake but it tasted like paper to me
of 40 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Russian Roulette Will Blow Your Mind.
of 50 votes, 38% like it
|
When you choke a smurf what color does it turn?
of 41 votes, 54% like it
|
Proper Nouns Are Too Uppity For Me.
of 44 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I Refused to be Underhanded, So the Bowling Alley Kicked Me Out.
of 50 votes, 40% like it
|
Don't Trust Softball Pitchers. They're All Underhanded.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
Beating a dead horse is wrong, unless it's a zombie dead horse.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Get Whale Soon, Ahab
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
The last time I tried to skip steps, I fell down the stairs.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
|
Someone Should Tell Steps that It's Rude to Stair.
of 67 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Clumsy People Need to Stop Trippin'
of 67 votes, 58% like it
|
Even If They Fail, Artists Always Go Back to the Drawing Board.
of 62 votes, 45% like it
|
If you can't cut the mustard, then give ketchup a try.
of 51 votes, 33% like it
|
|
When pigs can fly, the price of bacon will sky rocket.
of 52 votes, 46% like it
|
My Shirt's Got My Front and My Back.
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
Lawsuits Can be Expensive, But Birthday Suits are Free.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Sappy movies choke me up especially if popcorn's in my throat.
of 39 votes, 44% like it
|
X Marks the Spot, But If You See a W or Y, We're Close.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
|
Note to Self: Don't Wear Birthday Suit to Birthday Party Again.
of 60 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Tires Really Know How to Perform Under Pressure.
of 46 votes, 46% like it
|
Beating the Odds is Still Considered Battery in the Oddest Places
of 55 votes, 53% like it
|
Novelists are Wordy by Nature.
of 53 votes, 40% like it
|
|
On Porches, No One Rocks Harder Than Old People.
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
I May Not Be a Robot-Alien-Samurai, But I've Been Wrong Before.
of 54 votes, 63% like it
|
I Can Dunk! Give Me Milk and Cookies, and I'll Prove It.
of 52 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Video Gamers Are All Thumbs.
of 50 votes, 44% like it
|
Why buy lemons when life just gives them away?
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
If I'm the Apple of Your Eye, Then You're the Potato Of My Elbow.
of 53 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Hygiene 101: Always Floss After Chewing Someone Out.
of 38 votes, 53% like it
|
I'm So Sharp, People Call Me Cheddar.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
|
Don't Buy Lemons Anymore. I Hear Life is Giving Them Away.
of 45 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Arsonists love adding fuel to the fire.
of 44 votes, 64% like it
|
I'm Off to Make My Next Mistake.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
|
To Conserve Energy, I'm Willing to Punch People's Lights Out.
of 57 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Its Good to Be Flexible, But Contortionist Take it Too Far.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
|
I Wish I Was More Like the Tin Man: Heartless and Wielding an Axe
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
The Best Pirate Movies are Rated Arrrrgh.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Oil's Crude at First But After Some Refining It Can Be a Real Gas
of 54 votes, 54% like it
|
Don't Pick a Fight With Vegetarians. They Know Tofu.
of 74 votes, 65% like it
|
I'm banned from hardware stores for setting off the stud finders.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Don't trust dung beetles. They're full of crap.
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
People Say Pi is Irrational, But I Think its Just Misunderstood.
of 64 votes, 64% like it
|
I Wish Dividing Circumference by Diameter Made Real Pie.
of 43 votes, 51% like it
|
|
The Farmer's Dog Probably Got Real Confused During Bingo.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
|
I Prefer Slides Without Electricity.
of 40 votes, 58% like it
|
Volcanoes Have a Tendency to Blow Their Tops.
of 34 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I pass windows of oppurtunity for windows with pie on the ledge.
of 48 votes, 50% like it
|
If all good things come to an end, I'm going to be bad forever.
of 55 votes, 67% like it
|
Everyone Thinks Love is Blind, But I Think She Just Needs Glasses
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I trust tigers, because they're never lion.
of 45 votes, 56% like it
|
I paid $3.14, but the bakery refused to give me infinite pi.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
This shirt cleverly disguises my hairy, chewbacca chest.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
|
|
My Pet Peeves Can be Annoying Especially When He Pees on the Rug.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
Teachers have no class on the weekends.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
I'll Never Challenge an Elephant to a Game of Squash Again.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I prefer strangers with candy over strangers without candy.
of 82 votes, 80% like it
|
Jumping to conclusions is fun, but next time I'll just walk.
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
I Prefer to Jump Rope to Conclusions.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Like neutrons, my hugs are no charge.
of 54 votes, 67% like it
|
My shirt has got my back. And my front!
of 66 votes, 56% like it
|
Protons have a real positive influence on me.
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Exams weren't a piece of cake. They tasted more like paper to me.
of 66 votes, 67% like it
|
I'm so smart that I don't even understand half the things I say.
of 73 votes, 74% like it
|
WARNING: Contents of this Shirt Contain Large Amounts of Awesome
of 49 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Children that play in the streets are easily tired.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
My final exam wasn't a piece of cake. It tasted more like paper.
of 47 votes, 60% like it
|
I'd Give You a Hand if I Wasn't So Attached to It
of 78 votes, 78% like it
|
|
Brainstorming: Shockingly the Leading Cause of Frizzy Hair.
of 48 votes, 54% like it
|
If a picture is worth a 1,000 words, cameras make essays a snap.
of 57 votes, 63% like it
|
Hens and cows are tired of cock and bull stories.
of 44 votes, 59% like it
|
|
It Took Nine Tries, But Curiousity Finally Killed the Cat.
of 80 votes, 79% like it
|
I don't believe in imaginary numbers.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
|
Averages May Seem Nice, But They're Really Mean.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Modes and Medians Agree: Averages are Mean
of 47 votes, 45% like it
|
Magnets Seem Bi-Polar to Me.
of 46 votes, 61% like it
|
Small Angles are Acute as a Button.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Jumper Cables are Always Trying to Start Something.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
If You're Not an In-Law, You're an Outlaw.
of 37 votes, 43% like it
|
Protons have a positive influence on everything around them.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
|
My Love for Mobius Strips is Completely One-Sided.
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
Whales Make Living Large Look Easy.
of 48 votes, 50% like it
|
Never bite the hand that feeds you unless it's gingerbread.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Darts: The Only Time I'd Hit a Bull's Eye And Not Run Away
of 44 votes, 61% like it
|
Bullseye: I'd Hit That!
of 47 votes, 57% like it
|
To live large as a fish, you've got to be off the hook.
of 50 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Fingers only want to be gloved.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
Rule of Thumb: Fingers Will Fold to Any Opposition
of 41 votes, 59% like it
|
Laugh and the world laughs with you... causing earthquakes.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Who said quitting had to make a turkey cold?
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
Almonds may not be crazy, but they are nuts.
of 44 votes, 66% like it
|
Hurricanes and I have a pretty stormy relationship.
of 42 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Before we're friends, lets hear more about your benefits package.
of 55 votes, 62% like it
|
Friction can be a real drag.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
Belts are always getting completely waisted.
of 66 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The ilium, ischium, and pubis bones think they're so hip.
of 57 votes, 46% like it
|
I'd shoot the breeze less if I had better aim.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
Pulling someone's leg isn't as funny as everyone says it is.
of 72 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Flip flops can never make up their minds.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
|
The grim reaper bores me to death.
of 62 votes, 47% like it
|
Dragonflies would be a lot cooler if they could breathe fire.
of 75 votes, 80% like it
|
|
(on back) Free Piggyback Rides.
of 55 votes, 58% like it
|
Never let the devil borrow your shoes. He'll steal their soles.
of 67 votes, 70% like it
|
Early birds may get the worm, but late birds get waffles.
of 60 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Jousting really helps me get my point across.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
|
Bad Apples: High in Vitamins but Low in Morals.
of 56 votes, 82% like it
|
Circles are as easy as pi.
of 50 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Kangaroos are really into hip-hop.
of 48 votes, 63% like it
|
Euphemism sounds like a bunch of doublespeak to me.
of 47 votes, 60% like it
|
Snow is the dandruff of clouds.
of 48 votes, 58% like it
|
|
(on back) KEEP UP! I'm one of the Joneses.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
|
Lava: That's Hot!
of 42 votes, 62% like it
|
Volcanoes: They're a Blast!
of 47 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Warning: Apples have pp in them.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
What color do smurfs turn when they hold their breath?
of 63 votes, 70% like it
|
Woodpeckers: The Original Headbangers.
of 87 votes, 76% like it
|
|
Mathematicians can break it down like a fraction.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
Baseball and Football are Both Sports: Why not Meatball?
of 39 votes, 56% like it
|
Sumo Wrestling: It's Gonna Be Big!
of 64 votes, 69% like it
|
|
I'm so hungry I could eat 3.14 pieces of pi
of 67 votes, 69% like it
|
Taco Salad: Because Fat People Need to Eat Salads Too.
of 61 votes, 62% like it
|
The Sun: That's Hot!
of 48 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Sugar, Flour, and Eggs Make Everything BATTER!
of 50 votes, 60% like it
|
Monkey Wrench?? Who gave the monkeys a wrench?
of 47 votes, 51% like it
|
The Weather and I have a pretty stormy relationship.
of 44 votes, 73% like it
|
|
People who live in glass houses probably hate meteor showers
of 56 votes, 71% like it
|
If it ever starts raining cats and dogs, I'm calling the pound.
of 51 votes, 69% like it
|
It's always a good time for cake
of 53 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Elevators are always bringing me down
of 53 votes, 66% like it
|
Unicorn Burgers are Magically Delicious
of 53 votes, 70% like it
|
What does seeing London and France have to do with my underpants?
of 48 votes, 63% like it
|
|
I wonder if the Egyptians built the Food Pyramid
of 56 votes, 66% like it
|
Believe It or Not:
Arsonist like getting fired
of 46 votes, 72% like it
|
Revolving doors are always giving me the run around
of 39 votes, 49% like it
|
|
My friends and I are tight like spandex.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
|
Squares and Triangles Agree: Circles are Pointless
of 94 votes, 81% like it
|
Pictures are always getting FRAMED.
of 25 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Why do I wash my hair with something that ends with -POO?
of 70 votes, 83% like it
|
Jumper Cables: Always Trying To Start Something
of 54 votes, 69% like it
|
It pays to tell the truth... But lying pays WAY more
of 55 votes, 53% like it
|
|
You'd look so much cooler riding a Pterodactyl.
of 57 votes, 65% like it
|
Tusk, Tusk says the Walrus.
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
BEHOLD the power of UPPERCASE LETTERS!!!
of 63 votes, 59% like it
|
|
3.14% of Mathematicians are Pi rates
of 61 votes, 52% like it
|
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue when birds are flying over.
of 55 votes, 64% like it
|
Pirates love Arrrrrrrgyle!!!
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I survived the cootie epidemic.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
|
To be safe, I wouldn't MOON a werewolf.
of 57 votes, 58% like it
|
Vampires are a real pain in the neck.
of 15 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Apples: Kryptonite for doctors
of 61 votes, 72% like it
|
Apparently dry cleaners won't clean birthday suits.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
Does getting sea sick count as going green?
of 58 votes, 50% like it
|
|
The grass is always greener in Mr. Photosynthesis' yard.
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
Antartica is cool.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
Thumb Wars... Because fingers Fold To Any Opposition.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I don't think Dr. Pepper is a real doctor.
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
Frankenstein was kind of a stiff.
of 41 votes, 54% like it
|
Zombies and Werewolves Agree: Vampires suck!
of 58 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Werewolves would be horrible astronauts.
of 57 votes, 72% like it
|
I bet unicorn burgers would be magically delicious.
of 55 votes, 64% like it
|
Pyromaniacs are always fired up about something.
of 59 votes, 71% like it
|
