Electricians always see the positive and negative side of things.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
|
Everything happens for a reason, kidnappings happen for a ramson
of 47 votes, 30% like it
|
Runners often have racy pictures taken.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Last time I fought a cold it gave me a bloody nose.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
Caterpillars are not afraid of the Butterfly effect.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
|
A wolf can never fall asleep by counting sheep.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Everything happens for a reason,
Kidnapping happens for a ransom
of 73 votes, 34% like it
|
Getting old was much easier when I was younger.
of 158 votes, 65% like it
|
In spite of my hard work, Banks just don't give me any credit
of 62 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Alarm clocks often remind me of my least favorite time of the day
of 58 votes, 36% like it
|
My train of thought has a track of its own.
of 73 votes, 45% like it
|
Fish are rated on many scales.
of 62 votes, 32% like it
|
|
My conscience is clean, thanks to my short term memory.
of 69 votes, 48% like it
|
Last time I saw my imaginary friend we were playing Hide and Seek
of 74 votes, 39% like it
|
Eclipse, when the planets play Hide and Seek.
of 75 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Pessimists are always optimistic about everything going wrong.
of 84 votes, 63% like it
|
Illiterate people usually know a lot of bad words.
of 64 votes, 27% like it
|
If you think I'm hot tilt your head to the left (on tilted text)
of 69 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Lewd men are always studying a broad.
of 77 votes, 36% like it
|
Mazes tend to confuse me more than they tend to amaze me.
of 65 votes, 28% like it
|
Earthquakes are a very moving experience.
of 70 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Ancient Sculptors, the original Body Builders.
of 64 votes, 34% like it
|
Mondays are every weekend worst enemy.
of 95 votes, 46% like it
|
Winning isn't everything... there's also the celebration party.
of 67 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Geysers have self steam issues.
of 76 votes, 29% like it
|
Alcoholics always see the glass half empty.
of 77 votes, 29% like it
|
I enjoy making colorful remarks about rainbows.
of 90 votes, 28% like it
|
|
People that live in the past are usually tense.
of 78 votes, 36% like it
|
It must have been a Pessimist who invented Negative numbers.
of 85 votes, 42% like it
|
For a thief, all windows are Windows of Opportunity .
of 77 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Thanks to Video Games, it's okay to be a player.
of 70 votes, 34% like it
|
Some F words are Fine for casual conversations.
of 76 votes, 32% like it
|
I Even Crash Search Parties.
of 87 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Taking the road less travel is the best way to avoid trafic jams.
of 70 votes, 29% like it
|
Clowns have big shoes to fill
of 75 votes, 32% like it
|
Nostalgia has turned Phone booths into actual time machines.
of 74 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Nudists eat their food without dressing.
of 100 votes, 54% like it
|
Zombies and Cannibals agree: a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
of 79 votes, 47% like it
|
If money really grew on trees, farmers would be extremely rich...
of 74 votes, 30% like it
|
|
It might be easier to find a job if I just pretend to be a robot
of 72 votes, 40% like it
|
I laugh in the face of danger, on a fearful, nervous sort of way.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
|
I don't fear the end of days, I actually enjoy the night time...
of 76 votes, 34% like it
|
|
Spring killed the Winter but Summer took the fall.
of 87 votes, 39% like it
|
I LIVE THE DREAM
( my doctor called it sleepwalking )
of 87 votes, 33% like it
|
If it's inside what counts, my inner child better learn some math
of 85 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Surprisingly, Cannibals did not invented the knuckle sandwich.
of 83 votes, 41% like it
|
Living in the Past doesn't help predict the Future.
of 94 votes, 33% like it
|
There's no I in awesome but there's plenty of ME.
of 73 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Surgeons are very open minded when it comes to brain surgery...
of 80 votes, 29% like it
|
Sleepwalking, The secret of how to live your dreams.
of 95 votes, 38% like it
|
Sleeping is how I reach my dreams.
of 90 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Traveling into the future one day at a time...
of 81 votes, 49% like it
|
Poets might call it a walk in the clouds but it's only fog to me.
of 68 votes, 26% like it
|
I tried to bite my tongue but it only made me swear more.
of 77 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Being late gives me a rush.
of 90 votes, 41% like it
|
3D glasses, the coolest way to see things with a new perspective.
of 69 votes, 25% like it
|
Fire Trucks are cool... but Ice Cream trucks are cooler.
of 150 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Some priests have very dark habits.
of 78 votes, 37% like it
|
Pirates wear eye patches after some treasure caught their eyes.
of 116 votes, 38% like it
|
Why go to the gym when I can buy a 6-pack at the liquor store?
of 88 votes, 41% like it
|
|
My train of thought makes many stops for entertaining purposes.
of 77 votes, 35% like it
|
Dilemma, it might not spell trouble but it still means the same.
of 70 votes, 26% like it
|
My inner child tells me is OK to talk to myself.
of 85 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I have no beef with Vegans and Vegans have no beef with me.
of 82 votes, 44% like it
|
I usually tell Fortune Tellers to talk to the hand.
of 78 votes, 41% like it
|
Avoid coming home late at night by returning early in the morning
of 69 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Illustrators know exactly how to draw the line.
of 69 votes, 32% like it
|
The dictionary proved that cleanliness is not next to Godliness
of 72 votes, 44% like it
|
I hide my inner child to avoid paying an extra fare.
of 70 votes, 34% like it
|
|
I love stuffed animals but not those made by a taxidermist.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
|
Raise your hand if you like to take part in surveys.
of 75 votes, 36% like it
|
Algebra, proving that letters count as much as numbers.
of 95 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Archeology, there's no future In it.
of 91 votes, 44% like it
|
Actually, Exercise is a walk in the park.
of 82 votes, 34% like it
|
Don't let your mind wander off during a Zombie attack.
of 93 votes, 34% like it
|
|
It's what's inside that counts, I learned this about calculators.
of 80 votes, 33% like it
|
Sun, you make my day!
of 71 votes, 35% like it
|
The best spies are those we never heard about.
of 80 votes, 44% like it
|
|
When I have nothing to do, I do it very well.
of 77 votes, 36% like it
|
Mimes perform unspeakable acts...
of 83 votes, 52% like it
|
Breakfast always gives me a reason to toast.
of 87 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Finding a fork in the road means the picnic area is nearby.
of 74 votes, 32% like it
|
Photographers are friendly snipers.
of 77 votes, 38% like it
|
All men were created equal, women were a smarter upgrade.
of 87 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Great Dancers always have people trying to follow their footsteps
of 83 votes, 31% like it
|
My imaginary friend tends to get me into real trouble.
of 113 votes, 51% like it
|
You can do __________ with a blank space.
of 74 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Pandas have always been a favorite bear of mime
of 69 votes, 25% like it
|
Drinking Coffee might be a Sin but it makes my day less like hell
of 75 votes, 24% like it
|
Exercise is as easy as a walk in the park.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
|
|
Electricity, mankind's most shocking discovery!
of 83 votes, 34% like it
|
My love for History is a thing of the past.
of 88 votes, 50% like it
|
You can't win the race without crossing the line.
of 77 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Drills look like cool devices but they are just boring tools.
of 75 votes, 24% like it
|
Mom says the sky is the limit but I often make her hit the roof.
of 76 votes, 24% like it
|
Your 15 minutes of fame succumb to my 10 seconds attention span.
of 77 votes, 34% like it
|
|
Mathematicians are rated on a
Pi-rate scale.
of 64 votes, 30% like it
|
I might work for a living but I don't live just to work.
of 58 votes, 28% like it
|
Libraries are busy places, all the rooms are always booked.
of 73 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Patting myself in the back is one of the many joys of doing yoga.
of 89 votes, 47% like it
|
12 step recovery programs only aggravate my addiction to dancing
of 74 votes, 30% like it
|
Recycling is not Rocket Science, it's more like Plastic Surgery.
of 87 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I had a dream...
but morning killed it.
of 79 votes, 43% like it
|
According to the stars, Astrology has been wrong for a long time.
of 69 votes, 32% like it
|
I was told I have to push myself but it's pysically impossible!
of 78 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Mathematicians always amount to something.
of 86 votes, 33% like it
|
Dance instructors always try to make me follow in their footsteps
of 98 votes, 36% like it
|
Wearing a Costume gives you the ability to get free candy.
of 42 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Party like there's no 2013.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
|
Silence was born when all was said and done.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
|
This used to be a lucky shirt, until the day I bought it.
of 32 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I'm not cheap , I'm just broke.
of 41 votes, 59% like it
|
Astronauts get to see the whole world !
of 47 votes, 40% like it
|
The best dreams I ever had, took place during the day time.
of 42 votes, 52% like it
|
|
I try to stay positive but my blood type is negative.
of 47 votes, 68% like it
|
Millions of dreams die every morning.
of 39 votes, 46% like it
|
Constellations were formed by connecting the dots.
of 36 votes, 69% like it
|
|
I play soccer just for kicks.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
The key to success is not the same as the key to happiness.
of 44 votes, 59% like it
|
My book of spells is called Dictionary.
of 47 votes, 57% like it
|
|
When I was younger I used to break records, now I delete MP3's.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
|
Life is short, otherwise it would be hard to spell.
of 46 votes, 67% like it
|
I got expelled from the library for hitting the books.
of 49 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Pie turned out not to be a piece of cake after all.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
|
Microscopes help me pay attention to the little things.
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
The chicken crossed the road just to show the frog how it's done.
of 41 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Stutterers agree, It's harder said than done.
of 51 votes, 41% like it
|
The internet, the place where everything is @
of 57 votes, 70% like it
|
Invisible ink is perfect for drawing blanks.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Seeing is believing, unless you believe that you're invisible.
of 49 votes, 49% like it
|
A Bra is the most common kind of booby trap.
of 63 votes, 52% like it
|
The message in the bottle read...
Recycle.
of 43 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Leaving things unfinished is such a
of 49 votes, 61% like it
|
Mathematicians dream about the PI in the sky.
of 61 votes, 46% like it
|
Take a shot in the dark and you might shoot yourself in the foot.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
|
|
My love affair with Fridays grows stronger every week.
of 66 votes, 58% like it
|
Nudists prefer to see things with their naked eyes.
of 56 votes, 52% like it
|
Not playing with a full deck means there is an ace up your sleeve
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Scientists take matters into their own hands.
of 69 votes, 51% like it
|
As of late, Hip-Hop has gotten a bad rap.
of 63 votes, 59% like it
|
Time travelers always end up in the present.
of 66 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The main problem with time travel is all the wardrobe changes.
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
I might not be great at sports but I'm awesome at Tailgating.
of 52 votes, 60% like it
|
I have never seen a Ghost in the flesh.
of 68 votes, 60% like it
|
|
All clones are created equal.
of 85 votes, 79% like it
|
My Alarm Clock keeps killing my dreams!
of 67 votes, 57% like it
|
I believe I can Fly but my psychiatrist disagrees.
of 67 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Electrical Toasters, the greatest thing since sliced bread.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
|
Zombies, you give them a finger; they'll want the whole hand.
of 73 votes, 67% like it
|
Pinatas are proof that eating to much candy can be bad for you.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
|
|
The last man standing was just a loser at musical chairs.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
My sweet tooth never listens to my wisdom tooth.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
Dance-aholics recovery programs have no steps at all.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
|
|
(on back of shirt) This is your chance to follow in my footsteps
of 68 votes, 60% like it
|
Photographers like to flash everybody.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
If all you need is love... Can I keep your other stuff?
of 67 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Caterpillars, the number one victims of the Butterfly effect.
of 68 votes, 68% like it
|
Words, the stuff stories are made of.
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
Ghosts must keep up appearances.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
|
The bigger picture makes a nice mural.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
|
Hurricanes are always trying to take the world by storm.
of 61 votes, 77% like it
|
I take the road less traveled in order to avoid traffic jams.
of 55 votes, 71% like it
|
|
A Writers block is usually full of graffiti.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
Actually, the whole universe runs on Solar Power.
of 57 votes, 63% like it
|
My inner child has epic battles against my inner demons.
of 67 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Money doesn't buy happiness but it does pays the bills.
of 55 votes, 60% like it
|
Retired fisherman are off the hook.
of 54 votes, 63% like it
|
Global warming is the mother of all ice breakers.
of 60 votes, 67% like it
|
|
I would be a bolder writer if I had a darker pen.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
I never seem to finish what I sta...
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
I wasn't raised on the streets, I just race on them.
of 56 votes, 52% like it
|
|
If your back is against the wall be glad it's not freshly painted
of 65 votes, 62% like it
|
Laughter is not the best medicine for uncontrollable giggles.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
|
Anything is possible...you just need a green screen.
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I had my back against the wall...
and it was freshly painted.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
|
Arsonists get fired up about everything.
of 56 votes, 64% like it
|
The Internet killed the paperboy.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Face first, it's the way most people fall in love.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
Sadly, I have no control over my invisibility powers.
of 61 votes, 59% like it
|
You call it misspelling,
I call it creative writing!
of 61 votes, 61% like it
|
|
For a Nun, dressing up becomes a habit.
of 59 votes, 54% like it
|
All plants are stalkers.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
A warm smile is the best ice breaker.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
|
My laser pen is mightier than any sword.
of 61 votes, 62% like it
|
My inner child never learned to use its inside voice.
of 54 votes, 67% like it
|
Earth, you rock my world !
of 60 votes, 62% like it
|
|
They say that ignorance is a bliss but I don't know what it means
of 59 votes, 66% like it
|
Simplified Chinese still seems very complicated to me.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
|
Arsonists get fired up about anything.
of 53 votes, 60% like it
|
|
I can walk the walk but I need an Interpreter to talk the talk.
of 55 votes, 60% like it
|
Walking on water is much easier once it's frozen.
of 66 votes, 56% like it
|
Death, it takes my breath away.
of 63 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I exercise my right to Not exercise.
of 66 votes, 64% like it
|
My train of thought makes constant stops.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
I'm not lost, I'm just going the extra mile.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Bartenders are the best at calling the shots.
of 60 votes, 58% like it
|
If all men were created equal, doesn't that make us all clones?
of 55 votes, 64% like it
|
Braille is connect the dots without having to see them.
of 53 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Having an ace in the hole sounds like a reason to go see a doctor
of 57 votes, 60% like it
|
When Giraffes try to hide, they are always spotted.
of 55 votes, 60% like it
|
Yesterday I thought today would be the future.
of 62 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Practicing yoga is how I learned to watch my back.
of 63 votes, 63% like it
|
Money is the root of all evil and you can take that to the bank.
of 57 votes, 68% like it
|
My quest for the meaning of life ended when I got a dictionary.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
|
History is easy to rewrite, it only has 7 letters.
of 73 votes, 56% like it
|
Ampersands are a pain in the a&&.
of 57 votes, 60% like it
|
When the tables turn, the drinks get spilled.
of 61 votes, 72% like it
|
|
The road less traveled... has the greener grass.
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
When it comes to numbers,
Pi takes the cake!
of 57 votes, 46% like it
|
Staying up late at night has turned me into a daydreamer.
of 66 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Robots shouldn't play sports if they have a Rifle for an arm.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
I use big words to compensate for small talk.
of 71 votes, 59% like it
|
Hummingbirds are birds that don't know the lyrics to any songs.
of 78 votes, 67% like it
|
|
When hell freeze over, there'll be an epic snow fight.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
|
Death is a once in a life time experience.
of 71 votes, 65% like it
|
Sign language is the easiest way to watch my language.
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Don't burn a bridge without getting your point across.
of 73 votes, 55% like it
|
Mimes love their art but dare not speak its name.
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
My journey of a thousand miles started the moment I got lost.
of 72 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Couch potatoes are just waiting for the gravy train.
of 62 votes, 47% like it
|
Pirates are often going overboard.
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
Change is good but I prefer to have bills in large denominations.
of 71 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Musicians enjoy life without skipping a beat.
of 57 votes, 51% like it
|
Only 50% of twins are evil.
of 70 votes, 59% like it
|
I bet it all that I can stop gambling.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Mannequins, all dressed up and nowhere to go.
of 67 votes, 63% like it
|
Circles are ovals that are a bit overweight.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
|
Z's are easier to catch at night.
of 74 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Weekends are proof that happy ending do exist.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
|
A recipe for disaster usually starts with spilling the beans.
of 66 votes, 61% like it
|
The key to success opens a window of opportunity.
of 55 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I do all my camping in front of stores and movie theaters.
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
I tried to reach for the stars but I got stop by their bodyguards
of 68 votes, 44% like it
|
Soccer adds new goals to my life.
of 70 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Soccer players have many goals in life.
of 67 votes, 39% like it
|
I want to quit gambling but I heard that quitters never win.
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
Burglars see any window as a window of opportunity.
of 74 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Opportunity doesn't knock twice, that's why I got a doorbell.
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
Hot air balloons are an uplifiting mode of transportation.
of 67 votes, 43% like it
|
Artists don't have shadows, they have silhouettes.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
|
My other personalities have their own Internet accounts.
of 65 votes, 43% like it
|
The first rule about silence...
you don't talk about silence.
of 72 votes, 63% like it
|
Always looking at the bright side has seriously damaged my sight
of 78 votes, 58% like it
|
|
People are the number one cause of accidents.
of 73 votes, 60% like it
|
Actually, lefties have no problem doing the right thing.
of 72 votes, 60% like it
|
Verbs get a lot of action.
of 88 votes, 72% like it
|
|
I don't know any self defense but my shadow looks like a ninja.
of 74 votes, 46% like it
|
Everything comes to an end or in the case of movies, a sequel.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
Watchmakers work around the clock.
of 68 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Smile, everybody is doing it.
of 77 votes, 61% like it
|
According to movies Slow Motion is the best way to dodge bullets
of 85 votes, 67% like it
|
Laugh and the world laughs with you, dance and they laugh at you
of 83 votes, 64% like it
|
|
If money wasn't meant to be burn,
Why is it made out of paper?
of 57 votes, 46% like it
|
It's one small step for an elephant but one giant leap for an ant
of 67 votes, 63% like it
|
Taking everything with a grain of salt has ruined my taste buds.
of 69 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Taking everything with a grain of salt is bad for my cholesterol.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
Summer has more fans than any other season.
of 69 votes, 62% like it
|
If you are happy and you know it,
I don't want to hear about it.
of 68 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Music moves me in a weird way... I call it dancing.
of 73 votes, 64% like it
|
Mimes do unspeakable things!
of 82 votes, 73% like it
|
Dance instructors have lots of people following their footsteps.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Exterminators do have a license to Kill.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
|
Actually, The root of Evil is the Old Saxon word ubil.
of 69 votes, 67% like it
|
Earphones bring music to my ears.
of 67 votes, 72% like it
|
|
The life I'd picture for myself didn't develop the way I'd hoped.
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
Actually, all plants are Solar Powered.
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
Shouldn't lucky stars be the ones that are not falling?
of 71 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Biting my tongue will only make me swear more.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
I avoid running into people, specially when I'm driving.
of 69 votes, 58% like it
|
Divers always get the sinking feeling...
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Conclusions are the easiest things to draw.
of 66 votes, 64% like it
|
A Library is the one place where every room is always booked.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
|
Fighting fire with fire is a great way to save water.
of 74 votes, 77% like it
|
|
All the spaces at the local Library are booked.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
Mathematics is the easiest way to make a difference.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
Never trust a mime that has given you his word.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Some people meet online and just click.
of 84 votes, 74% like it
|
My body used to be 60% water, now it's 70% coffee.
of 61 votes, 61% like it
|
If pigs could fly...
It would be harder to bring home the bacon.
of 80 votes, 64% like it
|
|
The Alphabet was all fun and games until it lost an I.
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
Frogs might lack the looks but they know how to talk to a girl.
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
Falling it's a lot like flying but in a downward direction.
of 63 votes, 63% like it
|
|
People who live in glass houses only throw paper and scissors.
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
Sleeping, resting and dreaming is my idea of multi-tasking.
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
Shadows are proof that everyone has a dark side.
of 73 votes, 74% like it
|
|
Science majors experiment more than anyone else during college.
of 74 votes, 58% like it
|
If love is written in the stars, aliens are tacky graffiti artist
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
Rainy days are no picnic.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Runners never go the extra mile.
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
If time could really heal all wounds we wouldn't need hospitals.
of 73 votes, 60% like it
|
Not letting food go to waste makes it go to my waist instead.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I'm a bad cook but I have a vast knowledge of good restaurants.
of 65 votes, 48% like it
|
My computer has turned into a cookie monster!
of 69 votes, 43% like it
|
A journey of a thousand miles means Miles is a very common name.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Taking a page from my book is still plagiarism.
of 63 votes, 63% like it
|
Before cell phones I used to send text messages with a calculator
of 58 votes, 66% like it
|
Computers helped me to finally get with the program.
of 69 votes, 61% like it
|
|
If Dinos were so cool, how come they didn't survived the Ice Age?
of 63 votes, 52% like it
|
Bartenders always see my glass as half empty.
of 77 votes, 64% like it
|
If these walls could talk, this house would be haunted.
of 73 votes, 79% like it
|
|
Dinosaurs were the first victims of downsizing.
of 73 votes, 68% like it
|
If I'm driven against the wall I tend to start climbing it.
of 59 votes, 49% like it
|
I could win the gold if bar hopping becomes an Olympic event.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Don't try talking to the hand, it might raise its middle finger.
of 62 votes, 52% like it
|
Earphones, a deceptive name for a device that doesn't make calls.
of 58 votes, 50% like it
|
According to my IQ test results,
Love was not the answer.
of 57 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Jumping the gun is no safe way to dodge a bullet.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
Time might heal all wounds but it does nothing about the scars.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
|
Video games made it possible for me to be really good at sports.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
|
I pat myself on the back more often since I started doing Yoga.
of 68 votes, 63% like it
|
I need to work on my Evil laugh before I can take over the world.
of 69 votes, 71% like it
|
Live your life like you never lived before!
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The first thing a Ghost must learn is how to make an appearance.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
I tell no lies.
Unless I can cover them up pretty well.
of 71 votes, 45% like it
|
I wasted my time trying to find a good way to spend it.
of 80 votes, 65% like it
|
|
I FOUND JESUS!
he was right next to Waldo.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
|
Squares are not allowed within my circle of friends.
of 69 votes, 65% like it
|
I'm a sharp dresser but my alter ego prefers a cape and shorts.
of 61 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I'm trying to go green but Mondays keep making me blue.
of 73 votes, 60% like it
|
Nice guys finish last, they let the ladies finish first.
of 70 votes, 69% like it
|
I wish my new lease on life included a rejuvenation clause.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Spelling bees would be much cooler if they were magic spells.
of 55 votes, 49% like it
|
Karma and Evolution turned Dragons into Lizards.
of 66 votes, 53% like it
|
Ovals are circles that got bent out of shape.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Ask me no questions and I won't give you a wrong answer.
of 59 votes, 56% like it
|
An apple a day...got me sick of apples right away.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
|
:D and the world :D's with you, but if : ( then you : ( alone.
of 81 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Some words are so conple... difi... intri...
Hard, to spell.
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
Technology, by the time I master its use, it has become obsolete.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
|
Squares find it impossible to think outside the box.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Tightrope, the thin line between life and death.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
|
My real life is attempting to destroy my fantasy life.
of 52 votes, 52% like it
|
The future of Archeology lays in ruins.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
|
|
My idea of a perfect future it's one where I'm still part of it.
of 60 votes, 48% like it
|
Life is unfair, that's why I'd rather play other board games.
of 63 votes, 56% like it
|
Dance-aholics love their 12-step recovery program.
of 58 votes, 59% like it
|
|
What doesn't kill you might turn you into a vampire, or a zombie
of 66 votes, 59% like it
|
I will bury the hatchet... and all other evidence.
of 83 votes, 71% like it
|
Mirrors, the original copycats.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Cat burglars turn any window into a window of opportunity.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
On the 7th day God himself rested before facing Monday.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
|
Silent movies are mimes' favorite kind of movies.
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
|
I love the future, it always brings me a present
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
Painting the town red is more difficult when you are color blind.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
In the future, time no longer flies; it Teleports.
of 71 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Don't hold me responsible for damage when I catch your eye.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
|
I will catch your eye
but don't hold me responsible for damages.
of 60 votes, 37% like it
|
Eskimos make the coolest Zombies.
of 72 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Imagination is my time machine.
of 70 votes, 64% like it
|
In the end, numbers are what counts.
of 72 votes, 60% like it
|
Not everything in life is fun and games, there's also sleep.
of 69 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Tea parties usually cause quite a stir.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
Lions tend to do everything with pride.
of 70 votes, 71% like it
|
X-ray photography has proved that beauty it's not in the inside.
of 54 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Every Human is born with a time machine, it's called imagination.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
In the future men will still joke about exploring Uranus.
of 64 votes, 69% like it
|
I damaged my vowels trying to eat my words.
of 68 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Evidently Jesus was born on a year when people lost track of time
of 51 votes, 47% like it
|
A show of hands is more amusing when it includes sock puppets.
of 76 votes, 59% like it
|
Zombies are proof that there is life after death.
of 69 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Revolving doors make everyone take part in the revolution.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
You are a cool cat, Beware of your curiosity.
of 73 votes, 44% like it
|
The future of mankind has been reduce to bits and bytes.
of 69 votes, 42% like it
|
|
The internet has allowed me to make plenty of names for myself.
of 85 votes, 72% like it
|
Mathematics did a number on me.
of 64 votes, 55% like it
|
I'd rather judge a book by its cover than by its movie version.
of 77 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Evolution, stop being lazy and get me my unicorn!
of 79 votes, 62% like it
|
I'll rather judge a book by it's cover than by it's movie version
of 61 votes, 46% like it
|
A centipede wasted his life by
doing things one step at the time
of 75 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Sleep takes me into the future in just a blink of my eyes.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
Growing up, I had plenty of friends; Mario, Sonic, Zelda...
of 74 votes, 69% like it
|
I don't have two left feet, I just dance to a different tune.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The future was here a second ago.
of 86 votes, 67% like it
|
Cannibals never eat a person toes, they hate the taste of defeat.
of 73 votes, 51% like it
|
I love attending pastry school, every test is a piece of cake.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
|
|
I love attending baking school, every test is a piece of cake.
of 81 votes, 49% like it
|
following my dreams is how I became a sleepwalker.
of 93 votes, 65% like it
|
Some people call it yoga, I call it slow karate.
of 97 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Do rainbows taste funky if you are colorblind?
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
Everything gets old but it sells better as vintage.
of 71 votes, 56% like it
|
Daylight saving, tends to confuse my five o'clock shadow.
of 81 votes, 63% like it
|
|
As our world gets older... less people want to change it.
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
The writing on the wall would make a nice mural.
of 71 votes, 49% like it
|
Zebras are the most wild strippers.
of 64 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Old buildings have plenty of stories.
of 74 votes, 53% like it
|
The early bird gets the night owl's left overs.
of 75 votes, 57% like it
|
Famous Bakers make a lot of dough.
of 74 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Daylight Saving, the # 1 cause of accidental death among vampires
of 86 votes, 67% like it
|
_______________ You are reading between the lines _______________
of 74 votes, 57% like it
|
Censorship tried to revoke my Artistic License
of 72 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Cheese is extremely photogenic.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
|
Daylight Saving day, # 1 cause of accidental death among vampires
of 74 votes, 54% like it
|
My life is a joke, the skeleton in my closet is all funny bones.
of 77 votes, 52% like it
|
|
It's easier to use cheat codes than to follow codes of honor.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
Golfers usually have a long drive ahead of them.
of 70 votes, 59% like it
|
________________ I'm reading
between the lines ________________
of 63 votes, 56% like it
|
|
You are my true friend!
(glow in dark) If you are still here.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
|
Taking everything with a grain of salt killed my sugar cravings
of 72 votes, 49% like it
|
The odds of a Cat outliving a dog are 9 to 1.
of 88 votes, 67% like it
|
|
X- rays showed me that skeletons don't hide in the closets.
of 68 votes, 51% like it
|
Deja Vu, when a little piece of history repeats itself.
of 86 votes, 78% like it
|
To a mime a picture is worth one thousand gestures.
of 66 votes, 71% like it
|
|
A match made in heaven would light up the sky!
of 66 votes, 58% like it
|
Geysers are Mother nature's way to let off some steam.
of 74 votes, 59% like it
|
My train of thought doesn't get derailed just sidetracked.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
|
|
After a Jerk crosses a river it still comes across as a Jerk.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
|
I was so reckless as a kid I used to wish upon a ninja star.
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
I thought I knew my ABC's but algebra has changed the variables.
of 74 votes, 72% like it
|
|
What good is a time machine, if history keeps repeating itself?
of 99 votes, 69% like it
|
Earth is a troublesome planet. Everyday it starts a revolution.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
|
I tried to catch a fairy but it left me in the dust.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Scissors have their work cut out for them.
of 79 votes, 65% like it
|
There are two kind of people in the world, those that can't count
of 71 votes, 51% like it
|
Mark my words!
(highlighters are recommended )
of 83 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Circles always get around.
of 78 votes, 63% like it
|
I laid the rules but later I tripped over them.
of 69 votes, 57% like it
|
I don't make excuses! There's plenty already made to choose from.
of 84 votes, 70% like it
|
|
No T's have been hurt in the making of this Tee shirt.
of 77 votes, 49% like it
|
I don't procrastinate, I simply run out of time.
of 84 votes, 64% like it
|
Ode to minimalist = A
of 69 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Evolution, adding a new twist to my DNA.
of 84 votes, 57% like it
|
The current was so strong it made the river bend.
of 66 votes, 47% like it
|
Train conductors have a tendency to blow the whistle.
of 67 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Yoga, same as Karate but much slower.
of 77 votes, 69% like it
|
Vampires never look at the bright side.
of 85 votes, 66% like it
|
Scissors wish they could have their work cut out for them.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Hours always have to wait until the last minute.
of 75 votes, 67% like it
|
All books have the same ending. Period.
of 134 votes, 84% like it
|
Life has been so hard on me...It only gave me lemon seeds.
of 77 votes, 69% like it
|
|
The pen is mighter than the sword but no match for a ligthsaber
of 75 votes, 69% like it
|
Rainbows are an adorable stairway to heaven.
of 66 votes, 59% like it
|
Texting, the privacy of a phone booth in the palm of your hand.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Hi, I'm a Ventriloquist.
I talk to dummies.
of 72 votes, 57% like it
|
Zombies hate brain teasers!
of 73 votes, 73% like it
|
I'm learning to bake fortune cookies so I can make my own luck.
of 86 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I tried to join the revolution but I got dizzy really quick.
of 79 votes, 67% like it
|
Tornadoes make it easier to see which way the wind is blowing.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
in geography as in grammar i always forget the capitals
of 69 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Giraffes live in the neck of the woods.
of 61 votes, 66% like it
|
Your 15 minutes of fame will now contain 14 minutes of comercials
of 86 votes, 77% like it
|
Kung-Fu masters have the best side kicks.
of 90 votes, 76% like it
|
|
I seldom show this side of me (to be wear and printed inside out)
of 70 votes, 66% like it
|
Circles are another way to cut corners.
of 78 votes, 77% like it
|
Circles are always making ends meet.
of 76 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Blankets make my bed go undercover.
of 67 votes, 55% like it
|
(front)I do not have multiple personalities!
(back)Me neither!
of 86 votes, 74% like it
|
I think the chip in my shoulder is actually a tracking device.
of 83 votes, 71% like it
|
|
The tooth fairy taught me a sore lesson about the value of change
of 63 votes, 52% like it
|
Earthquakes move us all.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
|
The customer is always right unless he already left.
of 84 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Bonsai... family trees for smaller families.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
A musician's heart never skips a beat.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
|
Talk is cheap, unless you are talking to a psychiatric.
of 76 votes, 63% like it
|
|
When looking for something fun to do, trampolines spring to mind.
of 62 votes, 58% like it
|
Mondays are not a good way to start the week.
of 66 votes, 64% like it
|
B Negative, the pessimist's blood type.
of 86 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Video games turned me into a player.
of 81 votes, 73% like it
|
Evolution, taking care of God unfinished work.
of 70 votes, 59% like it
|
Pictures are worth about a million abbreviations.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
|
|
B positive is the blood type of Optimists.
of 151 votes, 81% like it
|
Due to my accent my side of the story will include close captions
of 68 votes, 62% like it
|
Ice is just water playing it cool.
of 81 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Science made moonwalking a possibility, music made it a reality.
of 86 votes, 66% like it
|
To make a long story short, use abbreviations.
of 86 votes, 78% like it
|
Taking candy away from kids, one of the joys of being a dentist.
of 83 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Actually, Moses was the first one to break all ten commandments.
of 78 votes, 69% like it
|
Spoiled Milk is the most notorious Cereal Killer.
of 77 votes, 64% like it
|
I'm not hitchhiking, I'm giving thumbs up to cool passing cars.
of 80 votes, 78% like it
|
|
I reflect on a lot of things...usually shiny, glassy things.
of 90 votes, 63% like it
|
(huge)HEY
(very small letters)
you are now within hugging range
of 86 votes, 67% like it
|
I run with scissors, sometimes paper and rock tag along too.
of 74 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Everything is cooler during winter
of 65 votes, 58% like it
|
I found Jesus and he helped me find Waldo.
of 74 votes, 65% like it
|
Bacteria tends to be cultured.
of 66 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Sometimes change makes a lot of cents.
of 69 votes, 68% like it
|
I used to live near church, It's the closest I ever been to God.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
|
Astronauts can never have enough space.
of 67 votes, 66% like it
|
|
The lack of a parking space leaves a lot to be desired.
of 69 votes, 67% like it
|
Nudists eat their salads without dressing.
of 86 votes, 76% like it
|
The early bird catches the worm that partied all night long.
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I tought I was an only child, until I learned about Big Brother.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
|
I know plenty of great jokes but my timing is awful, knock knock.
of 82 votes, 63% like it
|
Cartoon characters have a hard time keeping their ideas secret.
of 66 votes, 73% like it
|
|
A penny save... It's me ignoring your thoughts.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
|
If I learn by error...I'm on my way to perfection!
of 56 votes, 64% like it
|
Sitting bull was secretly afraid of sitting shotgun.
of 61 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Hand shadows are puppets that crossed over to the dark side.
of 67 votes, 72% like it
|
Spam, the real reason super heroes have a secret identity
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
My selective memory always chooses to forget.
of 65 votes, 71% like it
|
|
I'm 100% Awe and then some.
of 117 votes, 80% like it
|
Clowns get involve in a lot of funny business
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
Thumb wars: when the fingers got tired of the rule of thumb.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
|
|
The fingers are tired of the rule of Thumb.
of 74 votes, 65% like it
|
Dropping the subject tends to break the conversation
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
I would pour my heart out to you, but it will make a bloody mess.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
|
This shirt goes very well with my birthday suit!
of 65 votes, 60% like it
|
Having a diary makes me feel like I have a hidden agenda.
of 61 votes, 59% like it
|
All organ donors agree:
what matters is on the inside
of 71 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Scientist have found the missing link and it's off the chain.
of 74 votes, 59% like it
|
Video games, the easiest way to get a life.
of 74 votes, 62% like it
|
Your browser keeps trying to hit on my server.
of 74 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Dinosaurs entertained the idea of a fossible comeback.
of 73 votes, 62% like it
|
Roman numbers= Algebra for dummies.
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
A bird's eye view made me realize why they poop the way they do
of 70 votes, 66% like it
|
|
If looks could kill, mirrors would be scary to look at.
of 71 votes, 70% like it
|
The vacuum of space contains a lot of stardust.
of 75 votes, 67% like it
|
Fighting fire with fire it's how flame wars got started!
of 68 votes, 62% like it
|
|
If looks could kill, mirrors would be scary.
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
The giraffe, an animal worth looking up to.
of 79 votes, 61% like it
|
I learned all my survival skills while watching horror films.
of 84 votes, 55% like it
|
|
The dish ran away with the spoon, until it met a fork in the road
of 78 votes, 62% like it
|
Orchestra conductors always face the music.
of 82 votes, 72% like it
|
The spoon ran away with the dish, until it met a fork in the road
of 73 votes, 62% like it
|
|
7, 8, 9 proves there's no safety in numbers.
of 76 votes, 59% like it
|
Losing the race against the turtle that's the worst hare day!
of 58 votes, 62% like it
|
I don't know karate but I'm deadly at Karaoke.
of 98 votes, 69% like it
|
|
The chicken came first, the egg cracked under pressure.
of 74 votes, 65% like it
|
Connecting the dots involves dashing encounters.
of 63 votes, 63% like it
|
The skeletons in my closet always have a bone to pick with me
of 67 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Origami Masters don't understand how a story unfolds.
of 64 votes, 61% like it
|
Origami Masters always fold when playing poker!
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
Insomnia is killing my dreams.
of 78 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Comic book collectors have many issues.
of 94 votes, 76% like it
|
Hitting the bull's-eye promotes animal cruelty.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
Zombies are misunderstood creatures,They only want peace of mind!
of 72 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Pirates usually go overboard when they meet someone at sea.
of 66 votes, 64% like it
|
As mad as I am, I still won't give Zombies a piece of my mind
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
"Typos happems"
of 78 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Elevator attendants are always pushing people's buttons.
of 85 votes, 69% like it
|
NEVER moon a werewolf !
of 84 votes, 73% like it
|
Math teachers are as nice as PI
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
|
If your mind is in the clouds, you must have castles in the sky.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
I cast a long shadow... late in the afternoon.
of 63 votes, 67% like it
|
Mood swings are nothing compared to emotional rollercoasters
of 78 votes, 73% like it
|
|
Mood swings, the prototype of emotional Rollercoasters.
of 65 votes, 63% like it
|
Nine times out of ten someone feels excluded.
of 85 votes, 76% like it
|
I shredded the newspaper so I could break the news!
of 65 votes, 68% like it
|
|
I had a brush with the law while I was painting the town.
of 76 votes, 72% like it
|
While I was painting the town I had a brush with the law.
of 67 votes, 60% like it
|
Sorry, but blind people do live in the dark side.
of 63 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Beware, Truckers are radio active!
of 72 votes, 64% like it
|
I'm not childish, my inner child happens to fear enclosed places
of 66 votes, 74% like it
|
Arsonists spend their time at work dreaming about getting fired.
of 72 votes, 69% like it
|
|
The Optimist and the Pessimist agree, Things could be worse!
of 75 votes, 72% like it
|
I have a life!
I just forgot my password to it.
of 78 votes, 73% like it
|
Zombies always work the graveyard shift.
of 75 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I got in trouble at the library by hitting the books.
of 89 votes, 67% like it
|
I joined the dark side thinking I would glow in there.
of 75 votes, 60% like it
|
Meltdowns, the number one cause of death among snow mans.
of 78 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Curiosity killed the cat once, then repeated behavior took over.
of 67 votes, 67% like it
|
Social networking sites let me continue having imaginary friends
of 80 votes, 68% like it
|
_________________ (Iv ink/glow ink)read _________________
of 55 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Lasers know how to make their point.
of 74 votes, 59% like it
|
Knives get discarded when they don't make the cut.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
Could I claim my inner child as a dependent for my income tax?
of 75 votes, 75% like it
|
|
Math how do I hate you!
I won't count the ways!
of 78 votes, 72% like it
|
To sum things up... use a calculator.
of 71 votes, 66% like it
|
There's plenty of fish in the sea...But I'm a vegetarian.
of 68 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Crossing the line is a requirement in order to win the race!
of 72 votes, 71% like it
|
I don't need a jail sentence in order to write with conviction.
of 69 votes, 61% like it
|
There's plenty of fishes in the sea but I'm vegetarian.
of 73 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Opportunity knocked on my door only to ask for directions.
of 116 votes, 84% like it
|
The pen is mightier than the sword but I upgraded to a Lightsaber
of 90 votes, 60% like it
|
The spacebar is where all the other keys have an open tab
of 73 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Don't speak ill of video games, they babysat me back in the day.
of 67 votes, 61% like it
|
I completed my sexual education using the Internet
of 78 votes, 51% like it
|
I don't see myself as overweight, I'm just expanding my horizons
of 72 votes, 68% like it
|
|
the story of my life is lame I better add great special effects
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
hav no mny 2 by vwls
of 74 votes, 53% like it
|
The rooster crossed the road but they still called him chicken
of 78 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Circles think they are so hot with their 360 degrees
of 77 votes, 60% like it
|
We could discuss my apathy but I just don't feel the need.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
|
I show off my strength by breaking chain letters.
of 80 votes, 74% like it
|
|
Chess...it keeps me in check.
of 68 votes, 72% like it
|
The chicken came before the egg,
Alphabetically speaking
of 78 votes, 69% like it
|
If Words Could Cut, I'd Have Some Sort of Combat Skill
of 67 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Your train of thought is so old fashion it runs on an eight track
of 73 votes, 62% like it
|
I don't care anymore, I'm out of curiosity
of 73 votes, 62% like it
|
I keep my mind blank in case I need to draw a picture on it.
of 80 votes, 74% like it
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Computers aren't that smart, they only understand 0 and 1
of 69 votes, 59% like it
|
Video games taught me the effects cause by certain mushrooms
of 65 votes, 60% like it
|
You'll tilt your head by the power of my shirt(on tilted letters)
of 72 votes, 67% like it
|
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3.14 out of 5 people agreed, they love PI
of 74 votes, 58% like it
|
Fog, proving that a walk in the clouds is not as fun as it sounds
of 67 votes, 66% like it
|
I love the night time it allows me to embrace my dark side
of 68 votes, 66% like it
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It's not fun if it doesn't leave a scar
of 66 votes, 67% like it
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People with two left feet don't wear their shoes right
of 63 votes, 63% like it
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Mary had a little lamb...It gave the mid-wife quite a fright
of 73 votes, 71% like it
|
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If life gives you lemons, you got the beginning of a juicy story
of 71 votes, 63% like it
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I laugh in the face of danger, a very nervous unconvincing laugh
of 90 votes, 62% like it
|
My lamp used to go off with a clap now it wants standing ovations
of 74 votes, 51% like it
|
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I don't square pie, I divide it into fractions
of 63 votes, 59% like it
|
My other shirt won't come out of the closet
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
Sleepwalkers are just following their dreams
of 96 votes, 76% like it
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There's a flat line between life and death
of 83 votes, 67% like it
|
In some parts of the world getting Stoned is no fun at all.
of 76 votes, 63% like it
|
Having a open mind has allowed strange thoughts to enter my head
of 79 votes, 65% like it
|
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Who is fastest at drawing a sword, a ninja or an illustrator?
of 82 votes, 63% like it
|
Being number 2 is the best Pencils can hope for.
of 82 votes, 72% like it
|
If there's a fine line between two numbers, it must be a fraction
of 69 votes, 67% like it
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Love is a chemical reaction, alcohol its catalyst
of 70 votes, 59% like it
|
Invisible ink is perfect for drawing blanks
of 70 votes, 66% like it
|
An Optimist invented the wheel, A Pessimist Invented the brakes
of 95 votes, 79% like it
|
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The shortest distance between two points of view is an agreement
of 79 votes, 53% like it
|
An apple a day...got me bored of apples after a couple of years
of 60 votes, 55% like it
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Sometimes I let my silence speak for me
of 88 votes, 75% like it
|
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Life reaches different levels...
specially in video games
of 62 votes, 56% like it
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I don't mind dying, as long as I get alternative endings.
of 84 votes, 73% like it
|
I'm not stalking you, I'm just trying to follow in your footsteps
of 91 votes, 76% like it
|
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My luck is so bad, my fortune cookies are always blank
of 70 votes, 57% like it
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Writing in cursive is not as satisfying as yelling in cursive
of 81 votes, 74% like it
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Warning! Contents under pressure, do not puncture, flammable...
of 60 votes, 47% like it
|
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White clothes are canvas of an impending creative mess
of 61 votes, 62% like it
|
the warm feeling of christmas is melting the North Pole's cap
of 80 votes, 55% like it
|
Revenge is a dish that's no longer on my menu
of 92 votes, 74% like it
|
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The best way to keep Yourself together.. is writing it in cursive
of 82 votes, 55% like it
|
Video games taught me that high scores are the secret of lifes
of 75 votes, 67% like it
|
Pirates wore baggy pants to better conceal their booty.
of 92 votes, 65% like it
|
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After years of trying to find Myself... I finally bought a mirror
of 91 votes, 66% like it
|
A match between two painters usually ends in a draw
of 85 votes, 64% like it
|
Verbs get tense with so much action
of 88 votes, 63% like it
|
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I'll Die a happy person even if it is the last thing I do!
of 82 votes, 59% like it
|
My writing gets edgy if the verbs are tense.
of 82 votes, 54% like it
|
Cats love climbing trees in spite of their bark
of 82 votes, 67% like it
|
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I believed I could reach the stars but
Gravity told me otherwise
of 80 votes, 61% like it
|
Tree's bark but never bite
of 83 votes, 54% like it
|
The End is Near.
The End
of 119 votes, 80% like it
|
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Constellations are the biggest connect the dots game ever played
of 97 votes, 69% like it
|
Pharaohs were the creators of the pyramid scheme
of 90 votes, 63% like it
|
If I were U... a lot of thungs would be spell dufferent
of 115 votes, 54% like it
|
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Always looking at the bright side, has seriously damage my eyes.
of 118 votes, 68% like it
|
Stop Animal Testing!
They don't know the answers!
of 187 votes, 88% like it
|
Rubber Bands are the only bands I've been able to play with
of 94 votes, 64% like it
|
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Rubber Bands: The only bands I ever play with
of 77 votes, 51% like it
|
Save the animals,
If they go extinct we will all be vegetarians
of 98 votes, 64% like it
|
Planes travel back and forth in time almost every day
of 75 votes, 52% like it
|
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Frustration is the mother of profanity
of 96 votes, 75% like it
|
Sometimes a man has do to...What his woman tells him to
of 93 votes, 47% like it
|
A starving Lion has to swallow his pride
of 110 votes, 70% like it
|
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In reality, if they throw rocks at u paper n scissors are useless
of 92 votes, 59% like it
|
When Fruit is taken for a drive It usually ends up in a jam
of 84 votes, 50% like it
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I tried to kill time But it just flew away
of 89 votes, 52% like it
|
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Latitudes are great
they make time travel a reality
of 74 votes, 49% like it
|
Time travel is as simple as moving to a different time zone.
of 90 votes, 54% like it
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(front) I'm only human (back)Decoy message sent, human deceived
of 106 votes, 71% like it
|
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Sleeping is the easiest, most effective way to follow your dreams
of 111 votes, 68% like it
|
according to my clock...
times are changing
of 100 votes, 60% like it
|
Santa, the original big brother.
of 94 votes, 61% like it
|
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I will start my diet cold turkey right after thanksgiving
of 108 votes, 53% like it
|
When tortoises are about to die, life crawls before their eyes
of 95 votes, 56% like it
|
Boys will be boys;
unless they rather be girls
of 98 votes, 55% like it
|
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I wish my life had a hidden level
of 104 votes, 64% like it
|
Love is a chemical reaction, alcohol just accelerates the process
of 94 votes, 64% like it
|
My hairstylist believes that any day is a good day to dye
of 102 votes, 53% like it
|
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The Rubik's cube has proved that segregation is only for squares
of 103 votes, 64% like it
|
Go to hell... you'll get a warmer welcome over there
of 113 votes, 61% like it
|
Stamps are always trying to make a good impression
of 108 votes, 53% like it
|
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The only time I want to serve in court is when I'm playing tennis
of 86 votes, 53% like it
|
A bunch of clowns can think inside one box
of 102 votes, 64% like it
|
My keyboard lost Ctrl
of 120 votes, 58% like it
|
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Nothing is under ctrl on my keyboard.
of 107 votes, 54% like it
|
I am a profound individual,
I always kept anything I found
of 98 votes, 61% like it
|
Mathematics only uses a fraction of my brain
of 107 votes, 68% like it
|
|
Change...
It's essential to the tooth fairy
of 95 votes, 59% like it
|
Time travel is possible,
It's just a matter of time
of 99 votes, 56% like it
|
Nudists often reveal a lot about themselves
of 115 votes, 64% like it
|
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I intend to be unique,
just like everyone else
of 106 votes, 57% like it
|
Your displays of affection are making me grumpy
of 88 votes, 49% like it
|
Read the back of this shirt find out how gullible you are
of 103 votes, 58% like it
|
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Everybody knows the drill and that makes the other tools jealous
of 123 votes, 69% like it
|
The wheel,
first revolution in History
of 101 votes, 53% like it
|
We all been getting out of tight spots from the day we were born
of 110 votes, 59% like it
|
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I would try to be cool if I wasn't so Damn hot
of 101 votes, 56% like it
|
I can't keep track of time
If it keeps changing every second.
of 124 votes, 67% like it
|
Patience is my middle name and I just can't wait to change it.
of 122 votes, 75% like it
|
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I haven't been able to find all the time I seem to have lost.
of 99 votes, 60% like it
|
I could live a fairy tale life,
if not for the midnight curfew
of 104 votes, 59% like it
|
Oxygen, when you're not here I'm blue"
of 127 votes, 65% like it
|
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The whole mermaids' concept seems fishy to me.
of 101 votes, 55% like it
|
I just came from the other side, There's no grass there anymore.
of 112 votes, 70% like it
|
Most dreams are killed by alarm clocks
of 144 votes, 78% like it
|
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I ate a spam sandwich but I think it gave me a virus
of 97 votes, 56% like it
|
Frowns are just sleepy smiles
of 98 votes, 65% like it
|
More dreams are killed by alarm clocks than any other way combine
of 100 votes, 57% like it
|
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I tried to sculp a bust but only got ahead of myself
of 106 votes, 55% like it
|
Nightmares, training grounds for monsters
of 103 votes, 58% like it
|
Falling, men's first attempt at flying
of 105 votes, 57% like it
|
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Everyone has a point of view but only a few have perspective
of 132 votes, 74% like it
|
Caveman Paintings man's earliest attempt at texting
of 90 votes, 61% like it
|
recycling: making boomerangs out of every day objects
of 104 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Mathematicians don't eat cake, they prefer PI
of 102 votes, 65% like it
|
Zombies check the weather hoping for a brainstorm
of 108 votes, 64% like it
|
I tried.
It's impossible to push myself
of 120 votes, 65% like it
|
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Spiders invented the Web
of 106 votes, 58% like it
|
Spring killed winter but summer took the fall
of 115 votes, 65% like it
|
History, please make your point and stop repeating yourself
of 132 votes, 77% like it
|
|
The other vowels agree
U and I
make a very cute couple
of 129 votes, 71% like it
|
a blessing in disguise shouldn't come in the middle of halloween
of 93 votes, 62% like it
|
Surviving a zombies attack is kind of a no brainer
of 109 votes, 65% like it
|
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Brunch was invented to confuse the cereal killer
of 97 votes, 58% like it
|
If life gives you Lennons you may have to worry about beetles
of 98 votes, 55% like it
|
I have kill a lot of time but in the end it will get me back
of 90 votes, 53% like it
|
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Time travel would be possible soon, It's only a matter of time
of 97 votes, 55% like it
|
am not afraid to fly.
Crashing, well, that's another issue.
of 99 votes, 56% like it
|
Hell is not a cool place to visit
of 102 votes, 60% like it
|
|
ancient civilizations enjoy plenty of pastimes
of 99 votes, 55% like it
|
Turtles make great pets, but taking them out for a walk is drag
of 141 votes, 73% like it
|
There was a time when I couldn't wait to get older...
of 87 votes, 57% like it
|
|
My Spanish vocabulary can be describe in one word "Nada"
of 99 votes, 60% like it
|
Went out to find myself, got lost deep in thoughts
of 99 votes, 57% like it
|
T-shirts, ensuring my constitutional right to bare arms
of 108 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Marriage, the number one cause of divorce among couples.
of 112 votes, 63% like it
|
Everyone has a point of view...
But only a few have perspective
of 99 votes, 58% like it
|
The end of the world is so 1999
of 115 votes, 60% like it
|
|
I DEVOUR BOOKS
THEY TASTE
LIKE CHICKEN
of 102 votes, 50% like it
|
