Spellcheck is more impotent than we think.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
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Hanging people is more fun when spelling is involved.
of 30 votes, 53% like it
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Vacuums can suck it.
of 34 votes, 44% like it
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According to my shower, I'm a pretty good singer.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
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When the going gets tough, cook until tender.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
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Ostriches are so emu.
of 41 votes, 59% like it
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Contrary to popular belief, believing isn't so popular anymore.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
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Pancakes think waffles are so square.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
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Confusion involves a platypus.
of 54 votes, 52% like it
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I'm a horrible storyteller. The End.
of 46 votes, 72% like it
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I'm a hypocrite but I'll never admit it.
of 36 votes, 61% like it
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Capitalism. Because lowercase-ism was not enough.
of 45 votes, 73% like it
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Grammar Jail. Where periods are the end of the line.
of 52 votes, 56% like it
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In 500 feet, please make a right. In 2.3 miles, slay the dragon.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
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Having multiple personalities makes monologues quite difficult.
of 57 votes, 70% like it
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Hide and seek is no fun as a one player game
of 49 votes, 65% like it
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Drummers always beat their way into my heart
of 53 votes, 47% like it
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Knock Knock jokes discriminate against the handless.
of 67 votes, 76% like it
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Hello Boobies is less offensive on a calculator.
of 57 votes, 74% like it
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Treadmills. Because running and moving is too much to handle
of 64 votes, 72% like it
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Periods. Good on sentences, bad on your pants.
of 56 votes, 52% like it
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My love is molecular. I'm yours until you get unstable.
of 63 votes, 78% like it
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Sweeten up a sentence with some synonym.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
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I carry light bulbs in case I have an idea.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
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I climb metaphorical mountains.
of 63 votes, 52% like it
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I'm not ticklish. Please don't test it.
of 66 votes, 62% like it
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Life is the only game I'm good at
of 56 votes, 52% like it
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I am currently competing in the human race
of 70 votes, 60% like it
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Love speaks for itself but I need subtitles.
of 73 votes, 67% like it
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Shopping carts are fun until they become homes.
of 83 votes, 60% like it
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Knives make the best points
of 73 votes, 63% like it
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Cool down, it's just Celsius.
of 67 votes, 58% like it
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Morgan Freeman just made this shirt a little more epic
of 62 votes, 53% like it
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This never happened when Zeus was running things.
of 82 votes, 74% like it
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Bringing back recess one kickball at a time
of 49 votes, 51% like it
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I gave myself to Jesus. But now he never calls
of 59 votes, 51% like it
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My presence is the best thing I can give.
of 55 votes, 62% like it
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Opportunity broke into my house
of 65 votes, 49% like it
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Time is in desperate need of a speeding ticket.
of 61 votes, 59% like it
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The Ocean. It's deep.
of 55 votes, 51% like it
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2 Birds. 1 Stone. Murderer.
of 56 votes, 52% like it
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You're thinking too loud.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
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God and Journey are asking you to believe.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
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Part-time student. Full-time procrastinator.
of 58 votes, 55% like it
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Don't mess with vegetarians. They're very very hungry.
of 68 votes, 66% like it
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Carrot Cake. Disappointing children since 1989.
of 54 votes, 50% like it
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I break dance. I fix it too.
of 72 votes, 67% like it
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