UFOs alienate people
of 39 votes, 31% like it
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7 billion people in the world and I have to run into you
of 49 votes, 51% like it
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Atoms are single because they're always splitting
of 29 votes, 62% like it
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Subtraction will never amount to anything
of 28 votes, 57% like it
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Wrong, use of commas creates confusion.
of 38 votes, 55% like it
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I've been off the hook since I disconnected my phone
of 26 votes, 58% like it
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Hieroglyphics: When words aren't enough to express how you feel
of 36 votes, 64% like it
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Sleeping is so easy, I can do it with my eyes closed
of 46 votes, 67% like it
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I come from a long line of people who hate lines.
of 39 votes, 69% like it
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My tendency to exaggerate is legendary
of 61 votes, 67% like it
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I knew this day would come; I saw it on a calendar.
of 71 votes, 59% like it
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Call it what you want, but homonyms all sound the same to me
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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I have had it up to HERE with those theme park height limits
of 69 votes, 62% like it
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My circle of friends includes squares
of 71 votes, 62% like it
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Halloween: making it OK to receive candy from strangers.
of 78 votes, 62% like it
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Polka dots make me want to grab a pen and connect them.
of 80 votes, 55% like it
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First things first, second things second, and so on.
of 82 votes, 55% like it
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Earth. It means the world to me.
of 98 votes, 59% like it
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I thought the world revolved around me. It was just vertigo.
of 88 votes, 64% like it
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I tried line dancing, but I just kept going in circles.
of 76 votes, 59% like it
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Leave a strong impression: punch harder.
of 74 votes, 54% like it
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The truth shall set you free, as soon as it finds the keys.
of 79 votes, 63% like it
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Cloning: It's a whole new you.
of 83 votes, 58% like it
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I only eat food that I know how to spell.
of 78 votes, 59% like it
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1 out of every 4 musketeers feels left out.
of 91 votes, 64% like it
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Dining with cannibals can cost you an arm and a leg.
of 81 votes, 62% like it
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Whatever floats your boat is usually buoyancy.
of 77 votes, 66% like it
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Sleepwalking is cool unless you live on a boat.
of 76 votes, 61% like it
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Is it still homicide if you were just killing time?
of 69 votes, 52% like it
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I'll worry about climate change when hell freezes over.
of 89 votes, 62% like it
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Yes, I've got some nerve; I've got some veins and arteries too.
of 80 votes, 59% like it
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Nitrous Oxide: It's No Laughing Matter.
of 67 votes, 54% like it
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Back seat drivers are spooky if you're driving a hearse.
of 84 votes, 62% like it
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Putting the best foot forward is quite challenging for centipedes
of 71 votes, 55% like it
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Dyslexia makes me sacred.
of 75 votes, 51% like it
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Banks are just in it for the money.
of 73 votes, 51% like it
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I'm not odd; I'm just uneven.
of 84 votes, 56% like it
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Nothing ruins a sex joke like a premature punchline
of 76 votes, 54% like it
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Clowns: The carpool professionals.
of 89 votes, 51% like it
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