Look ma, no sleeves!
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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There's no "I" in team. Or a B, C, D, F.....
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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You were a lot prettier when I was drunk
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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I'm willing to go the extra 5, 280 ft.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Holy Random Exclamation!
of 16 votes, 44% like it
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In dog years, I'd be dead.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Will Wrestle Bears for Food
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Will fight Ninja's for Food
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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What I really need from you is your absence
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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I'm too cool for AC's
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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A man's best friend would probably be a man.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Now would be the perfect time to start a slow clap...
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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Nows would be the perfect time to start a slow clap...
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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R.I.P. Mother Nature:
Died from natural causes.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Little kids look up to me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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I take it upon myself to take things upon myself.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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sdrawkcab daer nac uoy ,wow
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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Two wrongs don't make a right,but they do make things interesting
of 22 votes, 36% like it
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Its a bird! Its a plane! Its Supe-oh wait, its a bird.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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I'm gifted.
of 22 votes, 0% like it
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This shirt is really making me claustrophobic.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Back off, I'm a claustrophobe.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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I was born on a mountaintop during a thunderstorm.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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I try not to create attention.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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Is that a banana in your pocket or are you not a monkey?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Everyone appreciated my art a lot better back in pre-school.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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Ever had a Hurtz Donut?
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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I hand out Indian-Burns.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Please, call me Doctor.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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If only life were this awesome.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I'm not good with bleach.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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I'm not good with bleach (bleach spots in areas of shirt)
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Ten years from now, I see myself living with a bunch of cats.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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I create elaborate schemes for the simplest of tasks
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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I have a plan so crazy it just might work if it weren't so crazy
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Yes, No, Maybe So. (But actually No)
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Words never hurt me (in shape of gun)
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I park in the parkway and drive in the driveway
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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This is the song that never ends...(whole song all over shirt)
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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...And the people at the psychiatric ward said I was crazy!
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I don't know why, but I wish I had udders.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Meet my friend Nobody, I think he likes you.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Save water, Poop outside
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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I'm all about the capes (superheroes)
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Don't judge me by the color of my crayons
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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Imaginary friends are people too.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
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If you're ever being chased by a lion, stop, drop, and roll.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Stopping and dropping is how I roll.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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Stop. Drop. And Rock 'n' Roll.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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Time-traveling is so 3 years from now.
of 40 votes, 40% like it
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You're lucky I'm not scissor-kicking you..
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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Don't look now, but I'm looking at you.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
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I wish they paid me to think..
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Anybody else in the mood for human flesh?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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Man, I can go for some cat right now.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Maybe violence IS the answer.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
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I cut cheese. I cut cheese real good.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
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I'm like the Sun. Stare at me a lot and I'll burn your eyes out.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
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Where can one buy a bazooka?
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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What is this "life" you speak of?
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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Whoever put an "s" in "lisp" is a jerk.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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make this quick, I gotta get back in my cage by 5
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Ole ye talk funny
of 41 votes, 10% like it
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Who needs luck when you've got a gun.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Let's hope a tree doesn't fall on you *Knock on wood*
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Hate is a strong word, but honestly, I just hate you.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
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If theres a brunch, how come theres no lunner?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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My favorite times of the day are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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Breakfast: Its whats for dinner.
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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Mooses? I believe the correct plural term is "meese."
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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I'm so cool my friends talk about me behind my back!
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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I can't help laughing at people who get hurt.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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The mafia doesn't put a hit on me, I put a hit on the mafia.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
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Garlic a day keeps the vampires away
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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Has anyone seen my marbles?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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You kids and your rap music.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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its pronounced "CAR-MUL!"
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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its pronounced "CARE-A-MEL!"
of 41 votes, 15% like it
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My kind of people are the ones on fire.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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This shirt would have a design but I suck at drawing
of 34 votes, 12% like it
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Never say never.... crap!
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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Never say never unless you can't do it
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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The jury's verdict for me was guilty. They're all dead now.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Technically, I could kill you right now.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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If at first you don't succeed, brain surgery isn't for you.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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If at first you don't succeed, bungie-jumping isn't for you.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
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If at first you don't succeed, just time-travel.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
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I'm an Undercover Super Pirate Ninja Knight Zombie Warlord
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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Zombies don't make good pets
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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The Grim reaper is a cheater.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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If I had a penny for every play on word I use, I'd make cents
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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Zombies don't let zombies eat drunks.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
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I plan on surviving the zombie apocolypse.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
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Brains: A zombies alcohol.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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Cheaters never win, unless they cheat.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
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Shouldn't we have villages on the moon by now?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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Frosty likes it hot
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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In Mexico, they know me as "Americano Estúpido!"
of 39 votes, 13% like it
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Don't worry, I'm a cop
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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WWGD?
(what would godzilla destroy/do)
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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Optimus Prime drives a Sedan
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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World War II Spoiler: We won.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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I run into things
of 38 votes, 8% like it
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You afraid of heights? 'cause your zipper is.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
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Copernicus: The original nerd.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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The inside of your bathroom looks great through binoculars
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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You're setting off my Gaydar!
of 30 votes, 17% like it
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I wish I bought that bear-repellant
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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Made from sugar, spice, and everything nice
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Made from frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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You are hardly the lvl 42 wizard I thought you were
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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Face it, your ugly
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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Old people creep me out
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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My other shirt is in the hamper.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
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I'm wanted in the tri-state area.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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This shirt will blow your mind
of 37 votes, 16% like it
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Zombies need structure.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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I don't need to please you.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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I save the world from time to time.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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If life hands you lemons, then hey, free lemons!
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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Skittles don't taste like rainbows
of 42 votes, 31% like it
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Lying is too easy for me.
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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I don't finish sen
of 39 votes, 8% like it
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I SPIT DEATH IN THE FACE!
....(then quickly say sorry)....
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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In pig-latin, everything rhymes!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Former Power Ranger.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Peter Piper picked peck peckl- aw screw it
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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I time-traveled 13 times while you were reading this.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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Mutants are people too.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Silly Rabbit, the kids are jerks.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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Sorry, can't talk, saving the world.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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Doorhinge rhymes with orange.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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If I'm stuck on an island, this shirt will be my toilet-paper.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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A wiseman once told me, "Never repeat what others have said.
of 32 votes, 41% like it
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Time-traveling is such a waste of time!
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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