"Spread the love" is a reference to body chocolate
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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A house divided is not full and thus is useless in poker
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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A pirate's favorite pattern is arrrrgyle
of 113 votes, 47% like it
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A thousand paper cranes were a poor constructional investment
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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All's fair in carnivals and circuses
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Alliterations:
Slowly Slaying Spoonerisms
of 71 votes, 37% like it
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Apples have a peach impediment
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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As one door closes another is being rigged with explosives
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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Authors have novel ideas
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Black Ice: Proof that nature is racist
of 29 votes, 34% like it
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Canadian Bacon:
World's Biggest Poser
of 117 votes, 47% like it
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Celebrate
Perversity
of 69 votes, 43% like it
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Climate change doesn't make any cents
of 13 votes, 38% like it
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Contrary to popular belief I bear no relation to Aunt Jemima
of 59 votes, 29% like it
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Dishonesty means telling the truth
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Dishonesty means telling the truth
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Don't Rutherford B. Hayes me bro!
of 44 votes, 25% like it
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Don't shoot the messenger, he might say something important
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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Every dog has it's day. (Except the nocturnal ones).
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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Flank and Spank
of 35 votes, 6% like it
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Frosty's money is secure in a snowbank
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Guns don't kill (immortal) people.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Hitchhiking: Cheap, safe, and you meet new people
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Hitting the ground while running really slows me down
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Homeless cows prolong all events
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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I absolute value brings out the positive in me I
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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I don't preach to the choir. I sing to the congregation.
of 108 votes, 49% like it
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I don't want to hear your beef, I'm a vegetarian audibly.
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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I don't want to hear your beef, I'm an audible vegetarian.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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I express myself through flatulence
of 51 votes, 35% like it
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I ghost write books on ghosts.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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I hate people who use similes like I hate hatred
of 39 votes, 26% like it
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I pepper my food with salt
of 117 votes, 44% like it
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I reached my prime at 7 years of age
of 37 votes, 22% like it
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I took my dragon to Build-A-Lair Workshop
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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I'm a proud member of the third party and you're invited!
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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If what you don't know wont hurt you then you must know weapons
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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In experimental design it's good to be blind.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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Inconveniently the kitchen had everything but the kitchen sink
of 24 votes, 38% like it
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Indigo. Keep it in your pants.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Ironically the word you took out of my mouth was tongue
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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It's reigning cats in a dog eat dog world.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Knotty like a Boy Scout
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Kuwait up! Stop Russian!
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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My subjective opinions are superior to yours
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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Nihility means nothing to me
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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Nobles exchange peasantries
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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Party crash test dummy
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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People who are color blind can't be marooned on desert islands
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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Practice safe sex, have your pets spayed or neutered
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Pulling out all the stops in the city only resulted in a felony
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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Reduce your carbon footprint, wear a smaller shoe.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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Roofers: Single and ready to shingle
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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Sleeping dogs are often dishonest
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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Spitting images are not as gross as they appear to be
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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Sports:
Where stealing is good
of 82 votes, 40% like it
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Stir Fry: Miracle on Rice
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Strawberry you glad I didn't say watermelon?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Stubborn fashion designers are clothes-minded
of 40 votes, 38% like it
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Sun dials are always working against the clock
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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The best sex offense is a good sex defense
of 60 votes, 33% like it
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The majority of golfers think their sport is sub-par
of 102 votes, 39% like it
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The Mayans predicted the apocalypse like there's no tomorrow
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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The picture of the criminal did not do him justice.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Those who eat butterflies are usually nervous
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Traditions: Accidentally doing something multiple times
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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Underground musicians have bad acoustics
of 25 votes, 12% like it
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Vanity License Plates Are Just Coincidences
of 32 votes, 38% like it
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Wearing my heart on my sleeve makes me prone to heart attacks
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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When dealing with ladders and chutes, I prefer the latter
of 104 votes, 46% like it
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When I was your age I was roughly as old as you are now
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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Wisdom: A word to the wise
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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Words can be dangerous, explosion.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
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You are what you eat. In which case all humans are cannibals.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
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Your mom jokes are very old, just like your mother.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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Zero means nothing to me
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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