I Used To Sugar Coat My Words, But People Kept Eating Them.
of 49 votes, 33% like it
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Burgers Are Always Getting Up In My Grill.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
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People Tell Me I'm Crazy. Good Thing They're Imaginary.
of 57 votes, 46% like it
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The Future: It's Getting Old.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
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I Prefer To Surf On Sound Waves.
of 52 votes, 27% like it
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The Asteroid Belt: Space's Lame Attempt At Fashion.
of 53 votes, 34% like it
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All Of My Favorite Charts Include Pie.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
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Time Travelers Are Always Getting Ahead Of Themselves.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
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Fractions: You Don't Know The Half Of It.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
|
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Walk A Kilometer In My Shoes, Then Please Explain Metric To Me.
of 52 votes, 25% like it
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It Takes Two To Tango, But It Only Takes One To Do The Robot.
of 67 votes, 40% like it
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A Musician's Living Space Always Has To B Sharp.
of 71 votes, 18% like it
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Unique: There Isn't Another Word Like It.
of 58 votes, 29% like it
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Some Of My Favorite Things Are Vague.
of 65 votes, 32% like it
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Hundreds Of Millions of People Have Told Me I Exaggerate.
of 56 votes, 32% like it
|
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MY SHIRTS ALWAYS SPEAK WITH THEIR OUTSIDE VOICES.
of 54 votes, 24% like it
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Reading My Shirt: Because Reading My Pants Would Be Awkward.
of 64 votes, 42% like it
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Travelling: It Means The World To Me.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
|
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School Buses Were More Magical When I Was Younger.
of 61 votes, 23% like it
|
50% Is Half The Battle.
of 64 votes, 25% like it
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I Am Way More Competitive Than You.
of 74 votes, 22% like it
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Going The Extra Kilometer Just Doesn't Have The Same Effect.
of 74 votes, 34% like it
|
Eternity: It's Taking Forever.
of 66 votes, 33% like it
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I'm More Average Than Normal.
of 79 votes, 32% like it
|
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In Space, No One Can Hear You Make Movie References.
of 77 votes, 32% like it
|
Most Of My Plans End With Jetpacks.
of 77 votes, 47% like it
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I Have A Long Standing Tradition Of Sitting.
of 72 votes, 50% like it
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If The Hills Are Alive, I Don't Care If They Sound Like Music.
of 68 votes, 32% like it
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I Don't Feel Like A Million Bucks. I Mostly Feel Human And Hungry
of 68 votes, 32% like it
|
Whoever Invented The Wheel Really Got Life Rolling.
of 69 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Arsonists Tend To Be Burning With Passion.
of 64 votes, 36% like it
|
I Prefer To Leave Self Motivation To Other People.
of 38 votes, 53% like it
|
Sledding: It Starts Out Really Fun, Then Goes Downhill Quickly.
of 37 votes, 65% like it
|
|
The Dark Ages: Earth's Mid Life Crisis.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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Life: The Second Most Popular Social Network.
of 43 votes, 53% like it
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When The Tables Turn, You're Probably A DJ
of 35 votes, 46% like it
|
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The Bermuda Triangle: Proof That Geometry Is Lethal
of 40 votes, 63% like it
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Small Talk Won't Survive Natural Selection
of 33 votes, 36% like it
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Rock And Roll Works Best On A Steep Hill
of 30 votes, 37% like it
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Career Fairs Have Terrible Rides.
of 38 votes, 55% like it
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Walking Got Me To Where I Am Today.
of 50 votes, 62% like it
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Zombie Cartoons Are Always Having To Be Reanimated
of 45 votes, 42% like it
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Actually, Sticks And Stones Hurt Pretty Badly.
of 48 votes, 54% like it
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Beets: The Vegetables With The Best Musical Taste
of 53 votes, 58% like it
|
Crayons Helped Me Learn Some Very Colorful Language.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
|
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My Favorite Extreme Sport Is Channel Surfing.
of 41 votes, 54% like it
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I Have A Great Memory, Or So I'm Told.
of 43 votes, 53% like it
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I Broke The Bank, So Now I Have To Buy It.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
|
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I Wanted To Be What I Ate, So I Ate A Superhero.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
|
Know What Sinks My Boat? Holes.
of 37 votes, 59% like it
|
I Like My Coffee How I Like My Video Games. With Zombies.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
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The Falling Star: Outer Space's Funny Drunk Friend.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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I Used To Do Things The Right Way. Then I Found Other Directions.
of 57 votes, 54% like it
|
If These Walls Could Talk, I'd Probably Be Hallucinating.
of 55 votes, 65% like it
|
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I'll Have Skeletons In My Closet Soon, But For Now They're Bodies
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
Anatomically Speaking, I'm Always Tongue-In-Cheek.
of 54 votes, 59% like it
|
I Struck While The Iron Was Hot And Burned Myself Pretty Badly.
of 57 votes, 65% like it
|
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My #1 Rule Of Thumb Is That They Aren't Fingers.
of 49 votes, 63% like it
|
I Don't Care How The Cookie Crumbles, As Long As It's In My Mouth
of 66 votes, 74% like it
|
I've Got Style, I Just Don't Have Any On Me Right Now.
of 58 votes, 74% like it
|
|
Mental Pictures: Fun To Take, Hard To Sell.
of 58 votes, 71% like it
|
Archeologists Love When Their Life Is In Ruins.
of 62 votes, 66% like it
|
I Tried Painting A Mental Picture, But I Kept Spilling The Paint.
of 49 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Oddly, Slow And Steady Is The Fastest Way To Lose A Race.
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
Zombies: Proof That Time Only Kinda Sorta Heals All Wounds.
of 50 votes, 70% like it
|
Bad Advice Is The Beginning To The Best Stories.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
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At The End Of The Day, It's About Midnight.
of 54 votes, 72% like it
|
Life On The Street Is Hard Unless You Know A Large, Yellow Bird.
of 62 votes, 73% like it
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Falling Can Be A Really Trippy Experience.
of 48 votes, 75% like it
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People Often Tell Me I'm Hard To Talk To. I Just Ignore Them.
of 53 votes, 72% like it
|
The Future: We'll Get There Someday.
of 55 votes, 73% like it
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I'm A Student Of Life, But I Skip Class A Lot.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
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I Had Amnesia Up Until That Time I Forgot About It.
of 45 votes, 51% like it
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Waiting: The Most Boring Form Of Time Travel.
of 66 votes, 74% like it
|
In The Future, This Moment Will Still Be Awkward, But With Robots
of 50 votes, 64% like it
|
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In The Land Of The Blind, Nobody Can Read This.
of 48 votes, 63% like it
|
Negative Numbers Have A Hard Time Feeling Positive.
of 45 votes, 64% like it
|
If My Life Was A Movie, It Would Be A Very Low Budget One.
of 61 votes, 77% like it
|
|
Quality Over Quantity Doesn't Apply To Candy.
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
Life: The Original First-Person Game.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
My Train Of Thought Was Recently Robbed.
of 53 votes, 60% like it
|
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Fiction: Where Being Raised By Robot Wolves Is Always Possible.
of 55 votes, 67% like it
|
Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine For Broken Ribs.
of 67 votes, 70% like it
|
Right Angles Are In My Corner.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
|
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I Traveled The Road Less Traveled And Got Really Lost.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
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I Wrote The Book On The Best Ways To Avoid Reading.
of 56 votes, 48% like it
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When Everything Is Said And Done, I'll Probably Take A Nap.
of 51 votes, 69% like it
|
|
I Used To Have Creative Juices, But Now I Prefer Soda.
of 54 votes, 70% like it
|
Geology Has An Extremely Rocky History.
of 45 votes, 58% like it
|
Science Fiction: Like Normal Fiction, But With More Lasers.
of 64 votes, 84% like it
|
|
My Mom Always Said I'm Unique. I Think She Meant Different.
of 48 votes, 56% like it
|
Cliffs Spend Their Whole Lives Living On The Edge.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
Getting Stoned Used To Mean Something Totally Different.
of 67 votes, 54% like it
|
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Forests: The Original Bear Market
of 45 votes, 53% like it
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I've Seen The Future. It Looks A Lot Like Now, But With Jetpacks.
of 51 votes, 63% like it
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Couches Are My Comfort Zone.
of 53 votes, 79% like it
|
|
Never Forget...Something.
of 54 votes, 74% like it
|
Elevators Bring Me Down, One Level At A Time.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
|
Amnesia: The Forgotten Disease.
of 47 votes, 70% like it
|
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Metaphors: Like Normal Descriptions, But More Confusing.
of 56 votes, 75% like it
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I Use Rock, Paper And Scissor To Make All My Important Decisions.
of 53 votes, 70% like it
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(on back) I Had To Get This Off My Chest, So I Put It ON My Back.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
|
My Cup Was Half Empty, So I Got A Smaller Glass.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
Reincarnation Gets Old. Then New. Then Old Again.
of 55 votes, 84% like it
|
Drawing Conclusions Is More Fun With Finger Paints.
of 57 votes, 75% like it
|
|
Never Look Directly Into A Bright Idea.
of 46 votes, 61% like it
|
Plagiarism, The Original Copy-Writing.
of 48 votes, 77% like it
|
I Tried Slow And Steady And I Lost Really Quickly.
of 46 votes, 72% like it
|
|
My Origami Business Recently Folded.
of 58 votes, 78% like it
|
Pi Is The Nerdiest Of All The Desserts.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
I Left My Past Behind Me. Don't Step In It.
of 41 votes, 63% like it
|
|
(front) I Always Get The Last Laugh. (back) Hahahahaha!
of 37 votes, 70% like it
|
Math: Count Me In!
of 46 votes, 52% like it
|
I Think Outside The Box By Coloring Outside The Lines.
of 35 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Truth Will Set You Free. Truth And Knowing How To Pick A Lock.
of 50 votes, 72% like it
|
Anticlimactic: How You'll Feel About This Slogan After Reading it
of 46 votes, 54% like it
|
Gorilla Warfare Is Just A Lot Of Banana Throwing.
of 39 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Putting Yourself In Someone Elses Shoes Should Be Called Stealing
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
Arsonists Can Get Fired Up For Just About Anything.
of 41 votes, 63% like it
|
I Can Change. I Just Need A Full Moon To Do It.
of 57 votes, 81% like it
|
|
I Don't Have An Imagination, But I Do Have A Space Dragon.
of 44 votes, 73% like it
|
Mountain Climbing Is A Real Uphill Battle.
of 44 votes, 48% like it
|
Eating Popsicles Is Considered Cannibalism Amongst Snowmen.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I Fell Hard For Gravity.
of 50 votes, 52% like it
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Apathy: I Don't Really Have An Opinion On It.
of 40 votes, 65% like it
|
Tackling Strangers Is How I Stay In Shape.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
|
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Cholesterol Holds A Special Place In My Heart.
of 55 votes, 65% like it
|
Mnimlsm.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
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Dreaming Is My Day Job.
of 54 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Trouble Found Me And Now I'm It
of 47 votes, 62% like it
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I Got To Where I Am Today By Walking From Over There.
of 54 votes, 72% like it
|
Carbon Dating: A Relationship Service For Basic Elements.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
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Being Happy As A Clam Would Be Pretty Depressing.
of 53 votes, 57% like it
|
Farmers Keeps It Rural.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
|
The Dark Side Wouldn't Be So Dark If They Paid The Electric Bill.
of 59 votes, 66% like it
|
|
If Great Minds Thought Alike, We'd Both Be Wearing This Shirt.
of 52 votes, 63% like it
|
I Believed I Could Fly, But Gravity Didn't.
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
Violence: The Original Form Of Anger Management.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Objects In Shirt Are As Close As They Appear.
of 45 votes, 58% like it
|
The Best Defense Is A Really Good Excuse
of 49 votes, 65% like it
|
Banana Peels: The Original Slip & Slide
of 39 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Buffet Style.
of 52 votes, 65% like it
|
My Constant Worrying Is Starting To Become A Concern.
of 50 votes, 76% like it
|
Apathy: Our Country's Leading Cause Of Whatever.
of 53 votes, 83% like it
|
|
Contortionists Are Always Bending Over Backwards For People.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
The Battle Between My Past And Future Is Making My Present Tense.
of 72 votes, 76% like it
|
One Day, I'm Going To Get Even With The Law Of Averages.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Math Is Starting To Become A Problem.
of 48 votes, 63% like it
|
Reality Is Fine, But Fantasy Got Me A Dragon With Laser Vision.
of 63 votes, 75% like it
|
Arrogant Chefs Never Leggo Their Ego.
of 42 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Escape Artists Can Paint Their Way Out Of Anything.
of 68 votes, 66% like it
|
This May Come Back To Haunt Me, But I'm Afraid Of Ghosts.
of 54 votes, 56% like it
|
I Didn't Escape From A Mental Hospital, I Creatively Departed.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Retyping Is The Modern Way Of Rewriting History.
of 48 votes, 56% like it
|
Dictatorship: A Game Of Follow The Leader Gone Horribly Wrong.
of 57 votes, 72% like it
|
Falling Flat On Your Face Is Fun If You're In A Bouncy Castle.
of 54 votes, 56% like it
|
|
(on back) You Don't Know It, But We're Currently Racing.
of 67 votes, 72% like it
|
Zombies: Proof That Time Kinda Sorta Heals All Wounds.
of 54 votes, 44% like it
|
Compasses Give My Life A New Direction.
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
|
The Voices In My Head Tell Me I Need To Get My Hearing Checked.
of 55 votes, 58% like it
|
Zombies Love An Open Mind.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
Easy Street Is Surprisingly Difficult To Find.
of 62 votes, 79% like it
|
|
You Call It Being Lazy, I Call It Being Patient.
of 61 votes, 84% like it
|
Imagination Is Why That Unicorn Is Standing Behind You.
of 50 votes, 72% like it
|
Science Fiction: Cause Regular Fiction Isn't Unbelievable Enough.
of 58 votes, 79% like it
|
|
A Geologists Plans Are Always Set In Stone.
of 39 votes, 56% like it
|
I Hate To Argue With You, But I'm Really Good At It.
of 58 votes, 64% like it
|
Acupuncture Used To Be Called Stabbing.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Invisibility: I'll Believe It When I Can't See It.
of 67 votes, 67% like it
|
I'm Not Pale, I Just Have A Computer Tan.
of 64 votes, 70% like it
|
Warning: Flashes Of Brilliance May Cause Temporary Blindness.
of 62 votes, 74% like it
|
|
Mummies: Layers And Layers Of Fun!
of 45 votes, 53% like it
|
Being Showered With Gifts Would Probably Hurt.
of 69 votes, 80% like it
|
I Have Friends In High Places. They're Mostly Birds.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Math Taught Me To Divide. Video Games Taught Me To Conquer.
of 71 votes, 75% like it
|
I've Found That Slow And Steady Is The Fastest Way To Lose A Race
of 52 votes, 71% like it
|
Swallowing Your Pride Is Probably A Choking Hazard.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Simon Told Me That Conformity Is Awesome.
of 63 votes, 75% like it
|
My Evil Twin Is A Lot Better Looking.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
Sadly, Meteorologists Can't Predict Brainstorming.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid! (smaller text) Of That Guy Behind Me.
of 54 votes, 59% like it
|
I'd Be More Attractive If I Were A Magnet.
of 69 votes, 83% like it
|
Modern Opportunity Rings The Doorbell.
of 45 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I'm Not Arrogant, I'm Just Really Really Good At Lots Of Things.
of 66 votes, 73% like it
|
I Tried Whistling While I Worked. I Was Quickly Fired.
of 57 votes, 58% like it
|
I Often See A Lot Of Myself In Mirrors.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Violence Is The Answer If The Question Is About Boxing.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
My Imagination Isn't As Good As My Pet Dragon's.
of 55 votes, 67% like it
|
Ventriloquists Always Talk To The Hand.
of 61 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Reincarnation: Deja Vu's older, more complicated cousin.
of 61 votes, 77% like it
|
Fashion Designers Are Jeaniuses
of 42 votes, 48% like it
|
I Get All My Energy From The Sun. And Candy.
of 68 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I Don't Rarely Not Contradict Myself.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
|
I Am Unstoppable. Unless You Count Walls And Locked Doors.
of 68 votes, 68% like it
|
I Hear Things Through Grapevines, But They Usually Just Whine.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
|
|
The War On Drugs Is Disoriented And Full Of Pretty Colors.
of 66 votes, 74% like it
|
Bowling: Where It's Always Cool To Go On Strike.
of 53 votes, 62% like it
|
The Apple Falls Farther From The Tree If You Throw It.
of 45 votes, 60% like it
|
|
My Favorite Part Of Underground Movements Are The Tunnels.
of 45 votes, 62% like it
|
The Final Stage Of My Life Will Probably Involve A Boss Battle.
of 66 votes, 68% like it
|
The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side, But This Side Has Cake.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
|
|
The Beginning Of The End Is An E.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
Men Of Steel Only Have One Fear: Magnets.
of 71 votes, 73% like it
|
Proof Reading: Like Regular Reading, But With More Typos.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Explosions Are The Funnest Way To Learn From Your Mistakes.
of 65 votes, 75% like it
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I'm In The Business Of Finding Alternatives To Working.
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
What Doesn't Kill You Is Possibly Edible.
of 67 votes, 60% like it
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I Draw The Line At Making Hypothetical Invisible Barriers.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
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The Long And Winding Road Leads To Horrible Gas Mileage.
of 62 votes, 58% like it
|
Pirate Parties Are Rarely Off The Hook.
of 66 votes, 76% like it
|
|
Video Games Keep Me Prepared In Case Of Alien Invasion.
of 66 votes, 71% like it
|
When History Repeats Itself, Math Will Still Be Stupid.
of 53 votes, 57% like it
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(on bright colored shirt) I'm Terrible At Blending In.
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I Have A Photographic Memory. Unfortunately, I Ran Out Of Film.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Curiosity Killed My Cat. As Did The Car That Ran It Over.
of 67 votes, 64% like it
|
If At First You Don't Succeed, Try An Easier Difficulty Setting
of 77 votes, 77% like it
|
|
Video Games Took My Life To A Whole Different Level.
of 70 votes, 67% like it
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Life Would Be More Interesting If It Rained Unicorns And Centaurs
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
Take It From Me, Don't Take Stuff From Other People.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
|
|
My Eyes Always Have Something To Look Forward To.
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
Making Up Mythical Animals is as easy As Tyranodragoncat.
of 59 votes, 44% like it
|
Dance Like You Believe The Government Isn't Watching.
of 67 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I Give The Best Self-Compliments
of 64 votes, 48% like it
|
Stealing The Spotlight Is A Good Way To Be Caught Stealing.
of 75 votes, 67% like it
|
Back In My Day, Philosophy Was Just Called Thinking.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Blink Once If You're Really Into Secret Codes.
of 70 votes, 51% like it
|
(on back) I Put My Past Behind Me.
of 59 votes, 41% like it
|
Pushing The Limits Is Easier Than Pulling My Weight.
of 56 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Mythology: I'll Believe It When I Get My Unicorn.
of 70 votes, 53% like it
|
People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Do Anything Illegal.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
|
Physics: It Really Is Rocket Science.
of 71 votes, 56% like it
|
|
I Would Show You My Invisibility Cloak, But I Can't Find It.
of 87 votes, 64% like it
|
Curiosity: Murdering Cats Since The Beginning Of Time.
of 72 votes, 51% like it
|
Imagination Turned My Towel Into A Cape
of 83 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Firing Squads Rarely Aim To Please.
of 81 votes, 54% like it
|
Cliffhangers Often End Without Warni
of 72 votes, 57% like it
|
Will Work For Employment Opportunities
of 73 votes, 49% like it
|
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My #1 Goal In Life Is To Stop Prioritizing.
of 72 votes, 56% like it
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I'm Prepared For Anything. Except The Unexpected.
of 79 votes, 51% like it
|
Archaeologists Party Like It's 1999 B.C.
of 73 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Don't Bust A Move That You Can't Replace.
of 91 votes, 53% like it
|
Fish Always Get Into The Best Schools.
of 78 votes, 51% like it
|
Burning Your Bridges Is More Fun When Explosives Are Involved.
of 73 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Sadly, Sitting Never Stood A Chance.
of 83 votes, 59% like it
|
If You're Happy And You Know It, You Don't Need Therapy.
of 82 votes, 56% like it
|
I Grabbed Life By The Horns, But It Trampled Me Anyway.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Fractions Help Me Divide And Conquer.
of 84 votes, 52% like it
|
If You're Living The Dream, You Should Probably Wake Up.
of 83 votes, 71% like it
|
If I Were Undercover, I'd Probably Be In Bed.
of 77 votes, 51% like it
|
|
The Fountain Of Youth Tastes Like Fruit Punch.
of 75 votes, 56% like it
|
Carpentry: Where It's Always Hammer Time.
of 76 votes, 58% like it
|
I Brought A Pen To A Sword Fight. It Ended With A Draw.
of 97 votes, 72% like it
|
|
Justice Is So Judgmental.
of 70 votes, 43% like it
|
School Taught Me There Are Many More Exciting Things Than School.
of 84 votes, 56% like it
|
I Learned How To Read From A Rainbow.
of 82 votes, 61% like it
|
|
High School Would Have Been More Fun If It Was Set To Music.
of 73 votes, 53% like it
|
Fairy Tales Should Always Have A Beginning, Middle, And Dragon.
of 81 votes, 68% like it
|
Prophecy: It's Ahead Of It's Time.
of 61 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Rainbows Always Pass Their Tests With Flying Colors.
of 75 votes, 57% like it
|
Fairy Tales Taught Me That Pigs Make Horrible Architects.
of 87 votes, 44% like it
|
Follow The Leader Is Just Creative Stalking.
of 75 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Spontaneous Combustion Blows My Mind.
of 86 votes, 57% like it
|
Fairy Tales Are The Frog's Main Source Of Hope.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
|
The Internet: Making It Easier To Rewrite History.
of 82 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Hyperspace Is Like Regular Space With A Sugar Addiction.
of 79 votes, 66% like it
|
Commas: Helping Perfect The Awkward, Um, Moment.
of 78 votes, 65% like it
|
700 Years Ago, This Shirt Would Have Been A Suit Of Armor.
of 75 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I'm Constantly Procrastinating. I'll Explain Later.
of 88 votes, 64% like it
|
Pyromaniacs: The Literal Trail Blazers.
of 70 votes, 51% like it
|
I Broke The Law. It Was Surprisingly Fragile.
of 86 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Falling Apart: It's How The Cookie Crumbles.
of 75 votes, 55% like it
|
I'm Not Losing, I'm Just Preparing For A Dramatic Comeback.
of 113 votes, 80% like it
|
I Went Against The Grain, And Now Wheat Is Out To Get Me.
of 76 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Being Ignorant Is None Of My Concern.
of 85 votes, 58% like it
|
Taking Candy From A Baby Is Like Taking Anything From A Baby.
of 83 votes, 63% like it
|
My Learning Curve Is Actually A Circle.
of 81 votes, 64% like it
|
|
The Call Of The Wild Sounds A Lot Like An Angry Bear.
of 77 votes, 62% like it
|
Everything Becomes More Official Once It's Laminated.
of 91 votes, 70% like it
|
Extra Terrestrials Are The Leading Experts In Alienation.
of 65 votes, 52% like it
|
|
I Choose To Row My Boat Aggressively Down The Stream.
of 94 votes, 73% like it
|
Warning: The Road Less Traveled Is Now Closed Due To Traffic.
of 91 votes, 74% like it
|
My Spine: It Has My Back.
of 79 votes, 65% like it
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Free Falling Is A Lot Cheaper Than Sky Diving.
of 85 votes, 61% like it
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(upside down) If You Can Read This, Something Has Gone Wrong.
of 75 votes, 65% like it
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I Walked A Mile In Someone Else's Shoes, And Now I'm Lost.
of 80 votes, 55% like it
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Being Caught Red Handed Is More Fun If You're Finger Painting.
of 102 votes, 70% like it
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Street Fighting Is A Lot Harder In Real Life.
of 81 votes, 53% like it
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Clouds Are Always Stealing My Thunder.
of 82 votes, 57% like it
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I Brake For Large, Unmovable Objects.
of 101 votes, 77% like it
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I'm Not Wandering, I'm Searching For Hidden Treasure.
of 82 votes, 60% like it
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Reality Would Be Less Boring If It Had Dragons And Time Travel.
of 97 votes, 54% like it
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Flamethrowers: Making All Other Weapons Seem Boring Since 1901.
of 86 votes, 65% like it
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Rainy Days Would Be Better If It Rained Gumdrops.
of 87 votes, 56% like it
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Halloween: A Happy Occasion For Both Children And Dentists Alike.
of 81 votes, 47% like it
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Gingerbread Men: Making Cannibalism A Family Activity.
of 86 votes, 59% like it
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Never Trust A Zebra. They Only See The World In Black And White.
of 78 votes, 44% like it
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If Your Pants Are On Fire, Being A Liar Becomes Less Important.
of 109 votes, 78% like it
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Black Holes: Murdering Light Since 1783.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
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Live Dangerously. Walk Backwards.
of 78 votes, 68% like it
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Fiction Writers Keep It Faux Real.
of 86 votes, 60% like it
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Unfortunately, My Lucky Stars Have Recently Gone Supernova.
of 89 votes, 69% like it
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This Moment Would Taste Better If It Were Sugar Coated.
of 79 votes, 53% like it
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Taking The Easy Way Out Is Always Possible If You Wear A Jetpack.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
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Don't Break Even. It's Surprisingly Expensive To Replace.
of 78 votes, 64% like it
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Fighting Fire With Fire: Proof That Anything Can Become A Saying.
of 80 votes, 64% like it
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My Claim To Fame Is Still Pending.
of 83 votes, 58% like it
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Reaching For The Stars Will Leave You With Badly Burned Hands.
of 74 votes, 55% like it
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Gravity: Making Orbits And Water Slides Possible Since 1687.
of 70 votes, 56% like it
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The Word On The Street Is Graffiti.
of 109 votes, 76% like it
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This Shirt Is Only A Monocle And A Top Hat Away From Being Formal
of 63 votes, 49% like it
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Walking Down A Dark Alley Is More Fun If You're Bowling.
of 65 votes, 43% like it
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Why Take Your Time When You Could Take Someone Else's?
of 69 votes, 52% like it
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Large Black Cauldrons: Where Magic Happens.
of 82 votes, 56% like it
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Shooting Stars: Proof That Space Is Trying To Kill Us.
of 117 votes, 73% like it
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1000 Monkeys Using Typewriters Wrote This Shirt.
of 87 votes, 49% like it
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Reading A Book Is More Fun When It's A Movie.
of 102 votes, 61% like it
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(in UV ink) If You Can Read This, We're Safe From Vampires.
of 106 votes, 70% like it
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This Shirt Doubles As A Cape When I'm Fighting Evil.
of 93 votes, 66% like it
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I'm Noticing My Observational Skills Aren't What They Used To Be.
of 98 votes, 76% like it
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Looking On The Bright Side Is Impossible For Vampires.
of 86 votes, 59% like it
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Hitting A Milestone Wrecked My Car.
of 92 votes, 64% like it
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All Work And No Play Makes For A Surprisingly Interesting Story.
of 76 votes, 59% like it
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Failure Is Actually About Half Of The Options.
of 86 votes, 57% like it
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Hidden Messages Are So Cliche.( uv/glow) But Finding Them Is Fun.
of 85 votes, 65% like it
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You'd Be Surprised How Many Hypothetical Situations I've Been In.
of 87 votes, 62% like it
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The Musical: Because Frolicking At The Office Is Weird.
of 80 votes, 40% like it
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Seeing Dead People Is Less Interesting If You're An Undertaker.
of 91 votes, 59% like it
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The Tenth Layer Of Hell Is An Eternity Of Watching Reality TV.
of 81 votes, 47% like it
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The Pen Is Only Mightier Than The Sword If You Draw A Dragon.
of 105 votes, 56% like it
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A Big, Red, Jovial Dog Ate My List Of Excuses.
of 81 votes, 59% like it
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My Shirt Says You Should Probably Stop Getting Advice From Shirts
of 92 votes, 42% like it
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Puppeteers Always Have Their Hands In Something.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
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Reality Is What I Do When I Run Out Of Lives.
of 83 votes, 54% like it
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Fearing Fear Itself Made Me Afraid Of Everything.
of 87 votes, 48% like it
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My Career As A Crash Test Dummy Has Recently Hit A Wall.
of 98 votes, 67% like it
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I Fight All My Battles With Buttons And A Directional Pad.
of 86 votes, 45% like it
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Dragons: The Original Jet-Pack.
of 82 votes, 41% like it
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The Monsters Under My Bed Think I'm Paranoid.
of 89 votes, 55% like it
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Video Games: Because Life Doesn't Have Enough Alien Invasions.
of 89 votes, 62% like it
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I Enjoy Doing The Impossible.
of 81 votes, 43% like it
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I Settle My Disputes With Sword Fights.
of 81 votes, 53% like it
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Condescension Is For People Less Awesome Than Me.
of 83 votes, 58% like it
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Sticks And Stones May Break Bones, But Nun-chucks Are Faster.
of 95 votes, 49% like it
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My Superpowers Include Palindrome Radar And Ironic Phrasings.
of 81 votes, 48% like it
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I'd Rather Be Rescuing The Princess.
of 104 votes, 47% like it
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My Side Effects Include Awkward Silence And Staring Contests.
of 98 votes, 55% like it
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Raise Your Hand If You Often Do What A Stranger Tells You To.
of 101 votes, 55% like it
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This Shirt: Making You Waste Your Time Since 12 Seconds Ago.
of 103 votes, 53% like it
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I Like To Think Outside The Quadrilateral Parallelogram.
of 144 votes, 81% like it
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Being A Vegetarian Won't Stop A Bear From Eating You.
of 154 votes, 75% like it
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My Talents Are So Well Hidden, I Have Yet To Find One.
of 135 votes, 68% like it
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I Want To Be Less Apathetic, But What's The Point?
of 124 votes, 65% like it
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Life isn't a competition, but I'm still going to win.
of 140 votes, 56% like it
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It's not called Pale anymore, it's called a Computer Tan.
of 139 votes, 63% like it
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Caution: I randomly tackle strangers.
of 114 votes, 48% like it
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I'm more impressive in high-def.
of 122 votes, 49% like it
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I'm more successful on the internet.
of 114 votes, 47% like it
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I'm only visible when people look at me.
of 130 votes, 55% like it
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