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Brightwood
aka Laura has been a member since December 16, 2008, has scored 1969 submissions, giving an average score of 3.00.
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If money doesn't grow on trees, what are dollar bills made of?
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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Chillax:
The favorite weapon of igloo dwellers everywhere.
of 21 votes, 57% like it
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I'm unfairly unique.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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I hate words. Literally, I do.
of 17 votes, 53% like it
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No, I do not know what you are saying.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
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At the end of the day, I poop.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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Reach for the stars, and your fingers will burn off.
of 16 votes, 50% like it
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Who compared every snowflake?
Identify yourself!
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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The Dead Of Winter: National Zombie Holiday.
of 16 votes, 50% like it
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Flying over the red light district, Rudolph hung on for deer life
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Flying over the red light district, Rudolph hung on for dear life
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Boys wearing dresses is such a drag.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
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My joystick was my best antidepressant.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
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My coffee is better than your coffee.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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I wish my pencil would do some line dancing.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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Buy me presents.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
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Triumph = umph + umph + umph
of 37 votes, 46% like it
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Paranormal: Twice as frightening as just one normal.
of 38 votes, 68% like it
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Alphabet soup makes me eat my words.
of 40 votes, 68% like it
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Happy nudist grin and bare it.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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When zombies diet, they only want a piece of mind.
of 36 votes, 42% like it
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The skeletons in my closet scare the pants off the hangers.
of 44 votes, 52% like it
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Poets keep their heart in the write place.
of 31 votes, 55% like it
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Blocks make it hard to stay in your write mind.
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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Skunks: They make such a stink out of everything.
of 34 votes, 62% like it
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Need a Job? You can make a killing selling chainsaws in Texas.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
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Salmonella: The true attack of the killer tomato.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
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Dracula has so much time to kill.
of 42 votes, 48% like it
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DRAW A BLANK
(small letters)
check and hand it over.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
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For vampire dentists, the graveyard shift is so bloody late.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
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True evil is to live in reverse.
of 43 votes, 42% like it
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Brainstorms: Primary cause of Zombie indigestion
of 43 votes, 58% like it
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Artificial Intelligence
explains politicians better than robots
of 54 votes, 54% like it
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Man doesn't live by bread alone. He needs peanut butter and jelly
of 71 votes, 72% like it
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If time is money, my clock is broke.
of 64 votes, 67% like it
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Troll dolls: Masters of capitalizing on bad hair days.
of 62 votes, 52% like it
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Mix Tapes: Where my life of crime began.
of 75 votes, 59% like it
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Back in the day, I thought I'd have a jet pack by now.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
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Shouldn't The Breakfast Club include bacon?
of 58 votes, 55% like it
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The best spaceships are built one colorful brick at a time.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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I 8 infinity. My stomach hurt forever.
of 71 votes, 66% like it
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Crunching numbers is not a fun as crunching Cap'ns.
of 60 votes, 48% like it
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I only listen to pop in the corn form.
of 73 votes, 52% like it
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I'll take my eggsistential life sunny side up.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
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My TV keeps throwing bad reception parties.
of 63 votes, 51% like it
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I used to be cool.
Now I'm just cold.
of 89 votes, 63% like it
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Stereo-types:
Old Timers who haven't discovered surround sound.
of 63 votes, 51% like it
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Bipolar bears love everybody.
of 66 votes, 41% like it
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Principals have no class.
of 67 votes, 40% like it
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When it comes to school, i am apparently very D-gradable.
of 63 votes, 41% like it
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Physics: The ultimate search for, "Whats the matter?"
of 69 votes, 57% like it
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My astrology teacher was a star.
of 68 votes, 47% like it
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Artists love to draw attention.
of 91 votes, 74% like it
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It is my constitutional right to greet you with open arms.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
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Writers work their tales off.
of 75 votes, 47% like it
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Eating a dictionary will put too many words in your mouth.
of 74 votes, 41% like it
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Your two cents aren't worth a dime.
of 72 votes, 57% like it
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The fairy dust made everything look pixielated.
of 74 votes, 51% like it
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When I come to a fork in the road, I eat and run.
of 73 votes, 53% like it
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What is black and white and red all over? (b/w print on red T)
of 72 votes, 46% like it
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I'm so corny I might pop.
of 79 votes, 46% like it
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Chainshirt: Tell 10 people about my shirt or yours will explode.
of 81 votes, 68% like it
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Y wants to know why X always gets to mark the spot.
of 92 votes, 72% like it
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Scapegoat for hire.
of 66 votes, 58% like it
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I prefer to pull your leg than pull your finger.
of 69 votes, 57% like it
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Chicken was a jaywalker.
of 79 votes, 63% like it
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I escaped from the zoo with my pride.
of 73 votes, 44% like it
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Happily ever after is so once upon a time.
of 100 votes, 77% like it
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I feel like Rapunzel having a bad hair day.
of 59 votes, 46% like it
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Have you seen my fairy God Mother?
I need her to fix my pumpkin.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
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The 4th pig made his house out of windmills.
of 71 votes, 51% like it
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Crack killed Humpty Dumpty.
of 82 votes, 63% like it
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My Fairy Tale:
I see frog.
I kiss frog.
I get peed on.
of 67 votes, 43% like it
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I was born in the year 1492. Oh wait, that wasn't me.
of 77 votes, 44% like it
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Vegetarians: Murdering plants since the beginning of thyme.
of 86 votes, 64% like it
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What did Lollypop do to deserve being called sucker and dumb-dumb
of 66 votes, 58% like it
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I play a mean guitar. It picks on me and makes me fret.
of 83 votes, 69% like it
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My door got knocked up. We're expecting a delivery any day.
of 66 votes, 61% like it
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Please limit emotional baggage when flying off the handle
of 62 votes, 60% like it
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I like the illusion that I am in charge.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
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Fairies never cheat.
of 57 votes, 47% like it
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A good whine can always make you feel better.
of 66 votes, 50% like it
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Nomads...they must be so happy.
of 77 votes, 66% like it
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My bellybutton wouldn't behave, so I sent it to the Naval Academy
of 80 votes, 61% like it
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Gazelles are a lions favorite fast food.
of 73 votes, 63% like it
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I will not write on my clothes. I will not write on my clothes.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
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Frozen witches are wicked cool.
of 75 votes, 65% like it
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Insomniacs are always up for it.
of 141 votes, 81% like it
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All that glitters is not gold. Some of it is glitter glue.
of 91 votes, 60% like it
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Wrong numbers are my #1 hang up.
of 93 votes, 53% like it
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Some are born great, some achieve greatness, others grate cheese
of 82 votes, 55% like it
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If you want to give me money, please interrupt me.
of 77 votes, 45% like it
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Seaweed. Number one cause of dropouts in schools of fish
of 89 votes, 70% like it
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G-force on a G-string = Wedgies in Space
of 74 votes, 51% like it
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Space: It's so personal.
of 86 votes, 64% like it
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(written in upper right corner of shirt)
"I'm right."
of 70 votes, 54% like it
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The Milky Way. To know candy is in space makes me feel better.
of 90 votes, 60% like it
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I think. Therefor my head hurts.
of 79 votes, 49% like it
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Air kiss deflector shield activated
of 72 votes, 39% like it
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I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
of 78 votes, 42% like it
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Is holy crap omnipresent?
of 80 votes, 40% like it
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Does your mom know you are looking at my chest?
of 60 votes, 42% like it
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My frontal cortex hurts.
of 64 votes, 42% like it
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Dream big because sleep doesn't last long.
of 83 votes, 67% like it
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I was blue before you red me.
(on a purple shirt)
of 97 votes, 71% like it
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Words are a craft.
Knowing which words to use is whichcraft.
of 97 votes, 61% like it
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Jingleberry: When song lyrics are stuck on the tip of your tongue
of 83 votes, 43% like it
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Bug one another, as I have bugged you.
of 72 votes, 43% like it
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Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
#1 Zombie pick-up line, "My, your amygdala is looking divine
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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"Beginning French" sounded so much more exciting than i
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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"Please Us!" is the reason for the season.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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32 feet and 8 little tails can raise my roof any day.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
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All great minds taste alike.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
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All the conspiracy theorist are plotting against me.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Apparently school was not my best subject.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
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Artist vampires draw blood.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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Back seat driver with bird in hand.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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Bed bugs are not a cozy as they sound.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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BEGINNING FRENCH:
It wasn't nearly as exciting as it sounds.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
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Being stood up does not make me feel taller.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
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Beware: My inner ghost is seeping.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Biology makes me feel so alive.
of 44 votes, 34% like it
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Block heads are always out of their write mind.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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Brett Favre WAS cool.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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Cake: It's whats for dinner.
of 35 votes, 40% like it
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College was a bunch of B.S.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
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Corduroy is so groovy.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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Corny jokes are music to my ears.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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Do you have my marbles?
of 66 votes, 39% like it
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Do you mean dragon breath doesn't make me hot?
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Don't go postal: 1-Think outside box. 2-Don't push the envelope
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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Don't make me huff and puff and come blow your house down.
of 45 votes, 38% like it
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Donkey didn't see the Beware of Crack sign. Now he's jacked up.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Double Dutch was fun before it was an economic dating strategy.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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DRIVING:
It's all the rage nowadays.
of 76 votes, 38% like it
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Due to evolution, the human head will be a phone in the future.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
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Eggvolution: Chicks will be boneless and breaded before hatching
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Emotional baggage will be charged by the bag.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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Every man has his price. Every woman has his credit card.
of 66 votes, 41% like it
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Everyone melted when Wicked Witch lost the spelling bee.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Fairies never cheat, they just use magic.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Fairies never cheat. If they did we'd call them cheaties.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Fly away from me you stupid pig.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your beer
of 38 votes, 26% like it
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Frogs give you warts? At least they don't give you warthogs.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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Frogs with briefcases have more fun.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Fudge tastes better than a grudge.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
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Genetically altered for fun.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
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Gobbledygook:
Left over Thanksgiving scraps.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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Grin and bury it.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
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Grumpy was a little short on humor.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
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Hang Ten: A fun way to say your toes are shark bait.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
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Happily ever after is so long, long, ago.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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HDT-Me, digitally woven for excellence.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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Hogwash:
When your toes take a bath.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
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Horses were born to run. Ask the Gallop Poll.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
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Husbands can be called lots of things.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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I am a hopeless Romantic Comedy.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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I can't cut the mustard, but I'm great a cutting class.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
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I can't cut the mustard, but I'm great at cutting class
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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I found light at the end of the funnel cake.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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I graduated toe of my class.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
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I guess pride is a summer thing, since it comes before the fall
of 64 votes, 41% like it
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I have more luck than cents.
of 46 votes, 35% like it
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I killed my drawing more by accident than design.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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I like to keep the moon in my pants.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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I make up my mind as often as I make up my bed.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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I prefer the bark of a dogwood. It doesn't wake me up.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
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I saw Santa buying beer.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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I shall enjoy today.
Tomorrow I must return to my home planet.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
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I stuck my foot in my mouth. Then I swallowed my soul.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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I type off key.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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I'd rather leave a legacy than an armory.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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I'm a smart cookie. Will you except me?
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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I'm so tired of being a loan," said the deficit.
of 60 votes, 37% like it
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I've been touched by an angle.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
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If you're crappy and you know it clap your hands.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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Isn't a space cadet like such a cool thing to be?
of 59 votes, 39% like it
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JOB WANTED:
Beneficiary.
Employee found within.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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Let's be checkbook friends.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Meteorites are the true rock stars
of 8 votes, 50% like it
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Monkeys bite back.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
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Mosquitoes always start from scratch.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
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Mosquitos: Proof that God has temper tantrums.
of 48 votes, 35% like it
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Much doo doo about nothing.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
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My axle is wheely supportive.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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My briefcase was more fun when I was a frog.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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My cat's name is Tattoo. He loves Ricardo Meowtalban.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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My couch knighted me Lord of the Springs.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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My credit score is better than pi.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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My favorite softwear is 100% cotton.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
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My nest egg cracked. I got broke.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
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My personal bibliography includes:
diary
memo pad
post-it note
of 56 votes, 36% like it
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My shirt is smarter than your shirt.
of 66 votes, 39% like it
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My train of thought is under construction.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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NIGHTMARES:
A secret herd of vampire horses.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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Official H1N1 deflector tee.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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One day my luck will run out.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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One screw loose is the only way to roll.
of 61 votes, 39% like it
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PAPER CUTS:
2 against 1. Rock doesn't have a chance.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Plastic surgeons are the real cut-ups.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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Pollytician:
Publicly elected parrot.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
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Pop is the same, coming or going.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Professional Hooky Player
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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Proud graduate of the School of hard Knock Knocks.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
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Receiving pity is no bowl of cherries
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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RECHARGEABLE!
But first they have to catch me.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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Righting my rough draft left me all tapped out.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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ROYAL FLUSH:
They poop.
Everyone looses.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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Rulers are measured in inches, not bombs.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Santa is a red faced spy.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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School never cliqued for me.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
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Slash and burn is the real nightmare for Elm street.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Tango: It happens to me every winter.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Tee for two is more fun than tea for two.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Tee for two.
Come on in.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
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Textbooks have nothing to do with texting. Weird!
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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The 4th pig made his house of of windmills.
of 18 votes, 50% like it
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The corporate life makes me want to commit cubicide.
of 44 votes, 32% like it
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The Space Bar.
Why can't it launch me into the cosmos?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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This tee is before you...just like the alphabet.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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Tomboy fairies fly by the seat of their pants.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Too much awake can result in a wake.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Triumph requires UMPH 3 (3 in superscript for 3rd power)
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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University of Salem Tailgating Tradition: She burned the steak.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
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Upgrade your antenna to HDTeeMe if this shirt is unclear.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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WARNING: Thinking outside the box may result in...
of 24 votes, 33% like it
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When God eats does he create holy crap?
of 51 votes, 27% like it
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When I grow up, I want to not live in my parents basement.
of 41 votes, 44% like it
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Where's the mystery meat?
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Why wasn't the Funny Farm funny?
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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Yes, I do have morning breath.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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Yo' mama's a goose.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
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http://threadless.com/profile/853669/Brightwood
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