Hey gang,

Little bored as of late so I got to clicking around and realised that at some point, ages ago, I deleted some slogan gems, god honest gems! So I thought I'd try and ressurect a few of them and see how they'd do in today's audience.

If ya'll could have a gander and giggle over in it, that'd be super! And don't be afraid to suggest ones I should bring out of the graveyard.

Love,
Steely

Hey Threaddy-Bears!

Okay, that was lame, but guess what isn't!? Mine being so bored I'm actually trying to slogan up again! I know! Amazing right?

Yeah I didn't think so either. Anyways I've got 3 newbies up, 1 a retooling of an oldie that was bugging me. Anyways if you take a gander and are familar with my preevious works you'll note that I've recently deleted a few.

That's all from me, hope ya'll are doing awesome.

Steely

Figured I should get on this while it's still mildly warm.

Wanted to thank Threadless for choosing my slogan from the thousands of rad candidates that have been trying to get their awesome slogans printed over these years. Special shoutout to Frick and Rossmat8 for their badass OSC and Shogan clubs. I honestly don't think it could have happened without your help. And lastly, extra special thanks goes to Speedyjvw for doing such a rad custom type face that really made this slogan pop and lock like a mad rock out player.

Love you all,
Steely

I don't have much to say here, thanks largely to the fact that Twitter and Facebook have condensed me down to a 160 character wonder, but GOD DAMMIT!!! I am so sick of working late I swear I'm -this- close to just slamming a car door on my hands and demanding the time off.

I'll need help, I can't slam a door on my hands by myself.

We're friends.

Who's willing to break my hands in a car door?

I've been looking around, shirt shopping ya see?

And maybe it's due to my subpar sleuthing skills, but I've yet to find the greatest shirt ever made. I'm talking a true, balls out, greatest shirt ever. A shirt that leaves no question to both how unbelievably awesome it is and how unbelievably awesome you are for wearing it.

Recently I found something that was close to what I was looking for:

West Side Rumble


As you can see, it has a Shark, eating a freaking jet loaded with harpoons. Now in it's own right, this is a freaking awesome shirt, but for what I'm looking for, it's not enough. Unfortunetly even Dick Firestorm's submissions haven't been enough for me.

What I'm looking for is something unreal...

Picture a Monster Truck with GIANT BEER KEG in the back the has EXPLODED and is now being LAUNCHED over a thousand zombies on fire whilst they head bang to a rock concert played by Iron Man on lead guitar firing a burst of energy from his palm and exploding a Jet, with an Chewbacca bass guitarist, Abe Lincoln on vocals and Animal from the Muppets on drums, surrounded by histories greatest war scenes from WW1 to the Civil War to Ghengis Khan to Roman Gladiators to the Russians and there's twelve, FUCKING TWELVE Black Hawk Helicopters hovering overhead with troopers roping down to the stage while they shoot CROSSBOWS into SKELETONS being reanimated to life by DARTH VADER and MICHAEL BAY with VISHNU ARMS is HAVING SEX with A MOUNTAIN of SWEDISH FEMALE VOLLEYBALL TEAMS and the MASONIC ALL SEEING EYE is WEEPING overhead whilst King Kong, Godzilla and Muhammad Ali in his prime duke it out in the background on top of Mt Everest which is also now a Volcano that is EXPLODING!!!

But that's just an idea and I was wondering what you guys and gals thought.

Cheers,
Steely

So I just went through and voted on every single person that currently exists in the Slogan Shoguns. It took all morning, I missed a meeting and people are yelling at me, but dammit I did it. I went through, picked out my favourite of each persons and then voted up a butt-ton of all your slogans so that I could say that I actually contributed to a slogan that was sure to print some day on TypeTees.

JoelRHale: Nostradamus: vaguely predicting similar events since 1550.
Noh_Body: I start the day off on the right foot, then left, then right...
toopersent: Maybe hyperspace should take it easy on the sugar?
Rossmat8: Supervision isn't nearly as cool as it sounds
Jeiji: Turn on that lamp, I have an idea!
bean12: BE SPONTANEOUS. (smaller font) you go first.
brentendo: Some call it being lazy, I call it energy conservation
Caleb11: The metric system makes it hard to go the extra mile
rbthatcher: On the other hand, there could be a glove.
lunchboxbrain: Boomerangs: They're Making A Comeback
PuppetMeat: I was voted 'Most likely to become a cautionary tale'.
SuperRyan: Grammar are overrated
past-tense-of-draw: I just got back from the past. You'll never guess what happened
colorfool: Every time history repeats itself the special effects get better.
morningstar1127: I've hit a point in my life where i should have leveled up by now
stalliongsta: An abacus is a tool you can really count on.
Tikimasters: Hopefully, the road to victory has prizes at the end.
Rhodescholar: Any mystery can be solved with a magnifying glass and a pipe.
wallstreet: I buy fragile things just for the bubble wrap.
GoodKarmaKid: It's lucky I own this, because today I lost my voice.
kashlen: I was on the right track…then a train hit me
FRICKINAWESOME: I Haven't Exaggerated In Like A Million Years.
JefAndLaurenRockHarderThanMost: Conspiracy theorists are out to get me.
TimScribble: Death. It runs in my family.
supertrooper74: You know what really gets my goat? Wolves.
jaywalkergraphics: I don't hold a grudge. I throw it like a deadly spear.
sakepok: There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Sam Houston: I do backflips when you arn't looking
HorsefaceDee: It's a fact that less children are eaten when the lights are on.
Simpletinrobot: I ruin group photos
Sparky the Wonderboy: Roman Numerals: Not On My Watch
MuteJoe: I f****** love asterisks!
jess4002: Don't Interrupt My Train Of Thought, It's On A Tight Schedule.
bygrinstow: Stand Back! It's time for my solo...
jayrawz: Once You Go Orange... Nothing Rhymes With Orange.
Dr MonA: The Dictionary- Keeping words in their place
poloq: If you want to catch a rabbit, make the sound of a carrot
iluvtees: I have the heart of a drummer, that's why I'm a little offbeat.
adorablepancreas: Dsylxiea rckos.
Braniel: An onion a day keeps the dentist away.
Exner83: Everything's better WITH JAZZ HANDS.
ivejustquitsmoking: 5 out of 5 monsters under the bed agree, your room needs cleaning
spacesick 2: The best defense against cat burglars is jingling car keys.
tsco809: Shadow puppets give whole new meaning to wall art.
BlueLobster: My computer beat me in chess, I beat it in boxing.
krokun: With Great Power Comes Ridiculous Costumes.
robot_activist: Designer chairs make being evil look surprisingly comfy.
staffell: I'm Open To Suggestions, But I Close Around 7:00pm.
SteveOramA: I questioned authority and I haven't received an answer yet
Steelplate: Blind Psychics have a 5th sense.
retroludo: Traffic jams don't spread well over toast.
The_Ali: I'm growing my hair until I don't have to wear clothes anymore.
Shim K: C.R.A.P Can't resist abbreviating phrases
AlexioGibbons: Interuptions are very would you like a banana?
ayearinreview: I'm using you as a shield the second things get dangerous.
chancery: The road less traveled is poorly lit and full of bad analogies.
EricaTheRed: Paint a picture: it'll take longer.
BenMayhem: Curiosity killed the cat, it also made electricity possible.
FlyYesLandNo: Keep your friends close and your enemies near bear traps.

Thankyou all for you time,
Steely

I know it maybe taken a little wrongly, but I couldn't stop laughing at this when I thought it up...

Blind Psychics have a 5th sense.

I know, I know, I'm sorry to all those that deal with blindness everyday. I can't imagine what your plight must be like, but shit, it's not like you're able to read this anyway.

Love yas!

So yeah, I decided to do an ABC Slogan Blog too. Was fun! Hard, but fun... And I'm pretty sure one or two of these have been phoned in, and some may even been outside the character limit. Ahh well, fun anyway!

Anatomically speaking, I heart you.
Being bad to the bone is a clear sign of osteoporosis.
Ceiling fans: The bedroom trampolinist’s only enemy.
Doesn’t hilarious sound funny to you?
Energy Drinks give me Wings, and chest palpitations.
Forget the Princess, I’m riding Yoshi.
G13+ is just one of my ratings.
Holy TV Show Reference!
I want to Rock n’ Roll all night, but I have to work tomorrow.
Just kidding! Oh wait, I haven’t zinged you yet.
Killer Whales: Life and Death’s never been so Black and White.
Like most, I enjoy the odd bit of word makeuperification.
My baloney had a first name, but then I ate it. I miss my baloney.
Now is the winter of our discontent. Buy a blanket.
Only really cool people wear this outfit.
Personally, I like to keep things to myself.
Quantum Fragmatic Equations are just one of the things I made up to sound impressive.
Red Light Specials are never found in Red Light Districts.
Science Fiction invented the Submarine.
To be Perfectly Frank, I’d have to stop being Clumsy Me.
Unicycling whilst juggling chainsaws is awesome. Fact.
Vampires agree, Twilight sucked.
While we’re here, let’s party.
Xylophone is a word I know starting with X.
Yuck! Vegetables!
Zipper me trousers! (in Piratey font)

Thanks for reading!

Steely

I've always wanted to have a reason to drink out of giant cups and rock a mad coat and cane combo, now I can thanks to the OSC Big Pimpin' Project! Now I can tell you all that my fine ass hos be freaky. They do all the nasty shit that you want and baby, you better get a safeword organised before hand because these Sloganeering Ho Bags will ride you til you die!

Meet my lady, Krimson...

My career as a Psychic ended due to unforeseen circumstances

Oh mama, you know she's got the goods, you better be loving. But baby, not to be out done, meet my girl Caleb11...

The metric system makes it hard to go the extra mile

Damn girl, she be fine as her fine ass allows, you know that bitch be classy. Cristol and caviar over the kitchen counter baby, she be hot you ain't need the oven!

So now you've seen the hos, and you've seen me do my pimpin'. Get to work you busy little Johns, and don't make me force my pimp hand strong.

Your Pimp Daddy,
Steelybaster Slim

Dear Slogans,

Words come down from the Steelplate Inc. offices, we need to massively reduce our staff costs. Unfortunetly we're going to have let go any employee that isn't performing above 40% by the end of the week. It's not my decision so don't get all pissy with me alright? I'm just a messenger.

But if it's any consolation, you have this week to save your jobs and stay in the running.

Sorry,
Mr. Steely

Slogan Resources Manager
Steelplate Incorporated