I've been looking around, shirt shopping ya see?

And maybe it's due to my subpar sleuthing skills, but I've yet to find the greatest shirt ever made. I'm talking a true, balls out, greatest shirt ever. A shirt that leaves no question to both how unbelievably awesome it is and how unbelievably awesome you are for wearing it.

Recently I found something that was close to what I was looking for:

West Side Rumble


As you can see, it has a Shark, eating a freaking jet loaded with harpoons. Now in it's own right, this is a freaking awesome shirt, but for what I'm looking for, it's not enough. Unfortunetly even Dick Firestorm's submissions haven't been enough for me.

What I'm looking for is something unreal...

Picture a Monster Truck with GIANT BEER KEG in the back the has EXPLODED and is now being LAUNCHED over a thousand zombies on fire whilst they head bang to a rock concert played by Iron Man on lead guitar firing a burst of energy from his palm and exploding a Jet, with an Chewbacca bass guitarist, Abe Lincoln on vocals and Animal from the Muppets on drums, surrounded by histories greatest war scenes from WW1 to the Civil War to Ghengis Khan to Roman Gladiators to the Russians and there's twelve, FUCKING TWELVE Black Hawk Helicopters hovering overhead with troopers roping down to the stage while they shoot CROSSBOWS into SKELETONS being reanimated to life by DARTH VADER and MICHAEL BAY with VISHNU ARMS is HAVING SEX with A MOUNTAIN of SWEDISH FEMALE VOLLEYBALL TEAMS and the MASONIC ALL SEEING EYE is WEEPING overhead whilst King Kong, Godzilla and Muhammad Ali in his prime duke it out in the background on top of Mt Everest which is also now a Volcano that is EXPLODING!!!

But that's just an idea and I was wondering what you guys and gals thought.

Cheers,
Steely