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Wheelie Weird
Wheelie Weird aka Scott Nelson is a 45.08 year old boy, has been a member since October 24, 2008, has scored 62 submissions, giving an average score of 3.31, helping 1 designs get printed.
URL: http://WWW.ScottNelsonandSon.com
Two can play at that game but three is sexier.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
I feel a stink eye coming on.
of 22 votes, 45% like it
Catchup goes good on Catchup
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I agree to NOTHING!
of 16 votes, 38% like it
Resist the urge to hug me.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I'm here for the cake
of 29 votes, 38% like it
I've come this far. I might as well criticize something.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I juggle invisable objects very well.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
I'm having a "I'm here" moment.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Bad habit commencing in 4, 3, 2,....
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Human Being on Duty.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
It's a Cake Walk? Well that sounds yummy.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Living without consequence has consequences.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
My nightmares have commercials.
of 11 votes, 55% like it
Want to jump on my sinking ship?
of 14 votes, 36% like it
I'm bad at remembering names but good at remembering body parts
of 16 votes, 50% like it
Excuse me... I didn't order this.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Just about everything is over my head.
of 16 votes, 44% like it
I like to impress people with my BIG words.
of 18 votes, 44% like it
Puppets: gloves on steroids
of 15 votes, 33% like it
I was cool in the 80's. Ask my closet.
of 21 votes, 57% like it
"Splat" is never a good sound.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Representing Geek quite well.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
The rest of my time here will be without commercial interuptions.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I shouldn't have come here today.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Logic left the room after your last statement.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
My cookbook doesn't have a recipe for disaster.
of 19 votes, 58% like it
While you're waiting, please enjoy the music.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I've asked for permission to rebel.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
A telemarketer made me do it.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
You're watching my life happen.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
People with bad taste also have bad breath?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Professional onlooker.
of 17 votes, 41% like it
I stared at you first.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I Choreograph uncontrolled sleep spasms
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Can you save your questions until I'm done checking you out?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I accomplished very little today.
of 24 votes, 46% like it
I can offer you feedback but you won't like what I have to say.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
I remember names by using word association. So, hello loser.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Rational thoughts are of little interest to me.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
Running in place confuses the ground.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
All in a days unemployment.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I'm an opportunist that hasn't had the right opportunity.
of 35 votes, 43% like it
Sorry...I'm Hip-Hip Hoorayed out.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Your kitchen counter may be Counterfeit.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
I don't "take" chances because that would be stealing.
of 24 votes, 58% like it
My friend isn't here. The computer power cord wasn't long enough
of 22 votes, 41% like it
I'm living proof that I'm alive.
of 25 votes, 52% like it
Hand Sanitizer keeps me sane.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
You caught me daydreaming. I was thinking about Tuesday.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Keep your conversations private... Use Parenthesis
of 35 votes, 31% like it
This is off the record, but yes...I did what you think I did.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I'm OK with being an idiot.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Going to Work isn't bad. It's staying there that is.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Cats litter... yet are never fined. Why?
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Air. Natures way of keeping you alive.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
There are alive things in my yogurt!
of 26 votes, 42% like it
Come on! If all was going well, would I even be here right now.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Pizza! It's what for dinner.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I know I'm going places. Dark, weird places.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
Boredom is boring.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I've acted like this ever since I ate paste.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Anything I add to a conversation is usually edited out.
of 30 votes, 47% like it
Uninformed but OK with it.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Who is resting in the Rest room?
of 38 votes, 24% like it
I'm not following you. I'm just part of your Cellular Network.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
If I hug you but you don't hug back, is it an assault?
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Everything I'm doing is unscripted.
of 33 votes, 33% like it
I'm awesome at feeble attempts!
of 29 votes, 28% like it
My Mom offers encouragement in the form of false confidence.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
What a relief. I thought I'd be the only one underdressed.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
When I leave, you'll note that my exit plan must have worked.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
Remember me? I'm that sudden right turn from the left lane guy.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
This is just like I dreamed my life would be. Sad huh?
of 26 votes, 27% like it
This is the most creative way I could get your attention.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Now you see me. Now you... see me over here.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
Maybe a doctor can remove your obnoxious.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
This blank stare... Not an act.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Girls have Hernias Boys have Himnias
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Yeah, you made it! Now leave.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Mobile ATM. This location accepts deposits only.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
I ran the numbers... and honestly, they're out of shape.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
My probation officer warned me about people like you.
of 26 votes, 46% like it
The term "Babysitting" is just wrong
of 26 votes, 23% like it
You're watching a World Record attempt in progress.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I challenge you to a nap!
of 25 votes, 44% like it
Big Fan of Little Pastries.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
That little voice in my head... talks with a lisp.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I have multiple personalities. None of them like you.
of 26 votes, 50% like it
"Shoplifters" must be wicked strong.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
Lunch for Kindergarteners Crayons Paste Boogers +Warm Milk
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Yes, I've received my fair share of Dodge Balls to the head.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
You've just entered my constantly relocating personal space.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
You may have once saw me on a milk carton.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
I'm not where I told my mother I was going.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
This shirt is in forclosure.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
I'm the one who bruises all the fruit at the grocery store.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I get uncomfortable in uncomfortable situations.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
See, up close I'm not so so creepy.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
I clean think tanks.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
Words to live by.... "Stay Alive."
of 32 votes, 34% like it
I still sit at the kids table.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Interesting Me Fact #84: I'm actually rather boring.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
Interesting ME fact #7. I open public restroom doors with my foot
of 26 votes, 23% like it
The Dewy Decimal System made me who I am today.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I can do hand stands... with my feet!
of 28 votes, 32% like it
I don't fall asleep. I kinda stumble into it.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
I'm the result of a good time gone to far.
of 41 votes, 39% like it
My watch broke so times are tough.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
Bring back Dewy and his delighful decimal system.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
My mouth gets me in trouble. My feet save me.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Can I be the recent activity on your account?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Watch me! There's a good chance I'll do something stupid.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
3 easy payments? How about 1 simple one and we're done with it?
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Physically I'm working out. Mentally I'm eatting Bon Bons.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
My brain leaks valuable information at an alarming rate.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
An electric razor Shaved my life!
of 33 votes, 18% like it
If Time will tell.... then time is a Tattle tale!
of 31 votes, 19% like it
I'm full of additives and preservatives.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Voted most likely to look like this.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
This entire conversation is off the record.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
Very little of what I say means anything
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I wholesale sea shells to Sally who in turn marks them up
of 36 votes, 22% like it
People like you make people like me look at other people
of 35 votes, 26% like it
I'm part of the problem around here.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
I need a hug but I'll settle for an annoyed look
of 34 votes, 24% like it
Look here to avoid direct eye contact
of 37 votes, 41% like it
I'm that friend of a friend you always here about.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
I have Mathlete's Foot
of 37 votes, 27% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
#1 Fan of Fans!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
"Ughing" people since 1994.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
(music note.) EAR FUEL.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
1 2 3 4, I declare a toe war.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a nap war.
of 19 votes, 0% like it
134 washes from now, this Tshirt will just be a rag.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
A Salt and Battery
of 29 votes, 7% like it
A Stairway to Heaven should still have handrails.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
All I need to know about LIFE I learned from Mikey.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
All right all ready!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
And I'm outta here.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
And to think my teachers said I'd never amount to anything
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Apparently my butt does it's best showing off with a wedgie.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Arrogance got me here. The police will then escort me from here.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
At least I haven't yacked yet."
of 21 votes, 5% like it
At least I haven't yacked yet."
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Attention seeker doing my thing.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Average people are aweome.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
B.O. force field.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Back it down a notch.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Barbers cut Public Hairs.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Be kind ... don't whine.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Be nice to me. I'm having a bad life.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Beer doesn't care.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
Big liquidation sale. Can I buy you a drink?
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Brain Matters
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Buddy of a Fuddy Duddy
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Bully twins unite. Form of an Oil company.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Buy me a drink--- I'm dehydrated.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
C.O.G. creepy old guy
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Can you tell me if my fly is down?
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Can you tell me if my fly is down?
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Can you update me?
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Caution. I tend to blurt stuff out.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Chick-Chick-Chick-Chick Chicken Dance HighSchool
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Clearly I started this without much of a thought process.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Clue'less: a. 1. A person without a board game about murder.
of 11 votes, 0% like it
Come to think of it..... what was I saying?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Compliment me and I'll compliment you.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Compliments accepted at this location.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Dancing fools welcome.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Dear Mom: Your TIME OUTS caused me emotional trauma.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Directions? OK. Take four lefts and then ask someone else.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Do Brain Farts smell?
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Do submariners join the mile low club?
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Do you Know me? Well say Hi then!
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Does someone speak pantomime?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Dogs are good at the hind lick maneuver.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Don't be a hater. Let me do that for you.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
DON'T give this person anymore sugar!
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Don't leave me hanging like a Yo Yo.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Don't stanza so close to me.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Don't you think I'm wicked Humble?
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Drive carefully reckless.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Encounter me!
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Everything I do is funny.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
Fake Friend at your service.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
Fighting back an urge.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Flying solo. My wingman sucked a bird into his engine.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I hurt you
of 31 votes, 10% like it
FORK SPOON!!!!!
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Freakishly good looking.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Friends Change......... (guess that's why they make hangers.)
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Get new Male here.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Given notice that I'm officially Perturbed!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Go ahead. Ask me for directions. I dare you.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Go down two streets and take a left
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Go Green idea #745: Make wood products from FAKE trees?
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Go old school and give me a call.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Good luck with the you know what.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Good times aren't all they're cracked up to be
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Gratuities accepted at this location
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Ha Ha Ha! (damp) Opps!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Having Psychopathic feelings right now. Actually,sorry. Just Gas
of 19 votes, 0% like it
Hello. I'm ambiance
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Hello. May I annoy you?
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Help me grow some skin. Make fun of me!
of 40 votes, 8% like it
Hey Look! It's Me in 3D
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Hey! Did you just do the sprinkler?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Hospitals are for wussies
of 30 votes, 10% like it
How come cats are fined for cat littering?
of 5 votes, 20% like it
How come cats aren't fined for cat littering?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
How's the Num Nums here?
of 31 votes, 6% like it
Hug a "Hugger" first. It'll throw them for a loop.
of 37 votes, 8% like it
I "Donut" what to say.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I agreed to WHAT?
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I always fall Jelly side down.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I appreciate you as my audience.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I ate paste in school.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I before you except after me.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I brake for... people without brakes.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I can be franchised.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I can be unstable with the best of em
of 31 votes, 16% like it
I can run amok with the best of them.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I can utilize you.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
I can't tolerate toleration.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I cheated my way through sckool.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
I couldn't give two poopies.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I do all my Stunts for my own Stuntdouble.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I don't agree with Popular Demand!
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I don't do icky.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I don't play the lottery. It plays me.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I don't understand you. Speak Zoom!
of 23 votes, 4% like it
I forgot my muzzle.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
I get uncomfortable in uncomfortable situtations.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
I go to the gym to get hissy fit.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I have no cash value.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I have O.C.D. (Overly Cranky Days)
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I have operators standing by right now.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I have tucked and rolled.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I heard this same drivel the last time we talked.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I know. On paper I look better then this.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I know... I'm in your way right?
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I know...It's like you've seen me before.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I like to mud things up.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I LIKE YOU.......... (when you tell me how great I am.)
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I look at you... I hear Bow Chicka Waow Waow music.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I lost my personal battle resisting fun t-shirts
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I love you more and smore each day.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
I make fun of myself at your expense.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
I normally wear a Parisian nighsuit.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I received a bill. Is that a mailfunction?
of 31 votes, 6% like it
I rub people the wrong way. Should I take off the spiked gloves?
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I said "no" and I meant "of course"!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I saw you coming but couldn't duck fast enough
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I see you're holding back evacuating the Bats in your cave.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I still live with myself.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I survived a Dingo attack when I was just a baby.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I think I pulled a hammy.
of 39 votes, 5% like it
I think that I thought to much
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I think we're in line right now but we should organize better.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I time travel but only in Easter Standard Time
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I took a Lawn Dart for that person and this is the thanks I get.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I vomit therefore I'm sick
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I was an All State Wind Passer
of 23 votes, 4% like it
I was looking for my lost sock but found sleep.
of 42 votes, 7% like it
I wear waterwings when I shower.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
I went to Mexico and got the jogs.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I will love you and walk behind you while you shop.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I'd invest in you.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
I'd like a Good Time but I also like Happy Days
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I'll Pillow Fight yah for it.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I'll take philanthropy for 500
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I'm #*^@# Considerate!
of 11 votes, 0% like it
I'm 100% sure that I'm 50% sure
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I'm a good judge of character. I get that mouse right 9-10 times.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I'm a Hater Hater!
of 22 votes, 5% like it
I'm a key witness.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I'm a no hit wonder.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
I'm a nobody. Come join the fun.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I'm a Runner Up
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I'm a runner up to last place.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm a shopping cart mechanic by trade.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
I'm a telemarketer. I sell "Interrupt your meal time."
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I'm actually naked (under this shirt)
of 30 votes, 27% like it
I'm all "rip roared" out.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
I'm allergic to hangovers.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I'm an Out of work Streaker.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I'm at critical mass
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I'm at my best when I look the most awkward.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
I'm at that "in between sleep and awake stage" right no
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm being held for randsom. I'm just on break right now.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I'm currently being held for ransom. I'm just on break right now.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
I'm currently sequestered.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I'm currently without parental supervision.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I'm doing someone a favor right now.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm embracing my self loathing.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I'm full of secrets.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
I'm gifted at regifting.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I'm going for spiffy.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I'm going for the opposite of dapper.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I'm going through a phase in which you can't phase me.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I'm good at Chatter, Banter or Small talk. Example: What smells?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I'm good at telling you I'm good at.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I'm good at telling you...I'm good at that.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
I'm got to much time on my feet.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I'm Happy to be here....... (when my meds kick in.)
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I'm here because I can tolerate.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I'm here to create ambiance.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I'm here to witness your 15 seconds of fame.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I'm in the BANNED
of 13 votes, 0% like it
I'm in the middle of a scenario right now.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I'm Lackluster on a Good Day
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I'm Leery of texters.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I'm mild mannered. Now *$#% leave me alone.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I'm new to this area..... although I've been in this room before
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I'm NOT here to THINK.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I'm not normally this ambitious.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
I'm not scared anymore. I need to find "aghast" statio
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I'm not scared anymore. I'll need to find an "aghast" s
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I'm ok with NO!
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I'm on "In Bar Arrest"
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I'm on "In School Arrest"
of 28 votes, 4% like it
I'm on a quest to find maps!
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I'm on break right now
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I'm one fake trip and fall away from being rich!
of 23 votes, 4% like it
I'm one of those "Where are they now" people
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I'm part Aloof.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I'm Popular Demand and I don't recall wanting you back.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I'm President of the A.V. club!
of 23 votes, 4% like it
I'm probably saying the same drivel as the last time we did this
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I'm salty.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I'm scared of text that go beep in the night.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I'm so excited I had a Enthusigasm!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I'm somewhat annoying on the eyes.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
I'm that "go to" person when you've got nobody else
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I'm that bad Influenza your mom warned you about.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
I'm tired of being tired!
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I'm to nervous to talk to you.
of 43 votes, 5% like it
I'm under priced. Buy me.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
I'm wearing bandaids on my nipples right now.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I'm whatshisface.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I'm why you wear helmets
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I'm your paparazzi.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I've acknowledged you. What more do you want?
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I've already had my 15 seconds of fame.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I've armed myself with Glamour.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I've been ignored by better ignorers than you.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I've been mislead by better infomercials then this.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I've come this far. I might as well criticize something.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I've done time for my Buzz Kills.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I've got baggage.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I've had an emotional fender bender.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I've had four concussions this week alone.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
I've having a good day because I just_______ someone.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I've parked my butt here before.
of 14 votes, 0% like it
I've removed myself from situtations just like.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I've succumbed to less pressure than this
of 30 votes, 10% like it
If found... return me to the person who threw me away.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
If I nickle and dime yah enough, I'll be rich.
of 14 votes, 0% like it
If I owned my own THEME PARK it would be... Geek.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
If I was rolling in the money--- I'd cover myself in honey
of 17 votes, 18% like it
If I'm here and you're here, shouldn't one of us be there?
of 14 votes, 7% like it
If privates were so private, why do they make a grand entrance?
of 15 votes, 13% like it
If there is cup cakes, why isn't there cup pies?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
In my own head, I'm cool. In reality it's actually damp.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
In my past life I sold life insurance.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Interpretive dance troop coming through any minute.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Is it apparent I'm a parent?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
It it's worth waiting for, I don't bother.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
It's a freaking Wicked Pisah!
of 30 votes, 10% like it
It's as easy as One, Two, Pee
of 28 votes, 4% like it
It's gosh darn Rid ick u louse
of 23 votes, 0% like it
IT'S NONE OF YOUR (going out of ) BUSINESS!
of 30 votes, 10% like it
It's not Rocket P.E.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
It's Odd that you'd think I'm Odd.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
It's totally different circumstances today right?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
It's vending machine time
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Keep both hands inside the car. Your feet? Couldn't care less.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Keep it short and simple... make me laugh.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Kid Tested and Mother Approved my foot.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Lay down your weapons and tell them a bedtime story
of 31 votes, 19% like it
LET THE GAMES BEGIN..then get rained out
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Let's be frankfurtures with each other.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Let's hit the ground running..... so we immediately face plant.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Let's Hunker down.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Let's lickity split.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Lets focus on me for a minute.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Lets focus...... on me!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Lets go over the basics........ We're done.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Lets have a sleep over and build Blanket Houses.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Lets mix it up
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Life is no picnic... but rather a trip through the drive thru.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Look at me!!! I'm out and about.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
LOVE is never having to say I love you.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Lunch for Kindergarteners Crayons Paste Boogers +Warm Milk
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Make up my mind.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Mature people not tolerated in this vicinity.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Me in 3 D
of 20 votes, 20% like it
monkey see monkey throw poop.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Multiple Vortices concern me.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
My band was behind me a minute ago.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
My belly button is lint free today
of 30 votes, 7% like it
My bologna has a middle name and it's NASTY lunch meat
of 27 votes, 15% like it
My brain is tired. (Art: shows a tire for a head.)
of 10 votes, 0% like it
My cause is providing unicyclist with another wheel.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
My clothing gets frustrated with me.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
My day could use a Recess.
of 30 votes, 3% like it
My dew point is rising.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
My entusiasm for life will inevitably kill me.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
My goldfish has Balls of Seal.
of 29 votes, 3% like it
My GPS brought me here. Now where actually am I?
of 38 votes, 18% like it
My heart was recently broken but I don't want anyone to know.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
My hips don't lie but my lips do.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Ingredients: Sugar, Fructose and Sweeteners
of 31 votes, 10% like it
My Magic Marker doesn't pull rabbits out of a hat or card tricks
of 19 votes, 5% like it
My mind is weak because it works out by watching TV.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
My napkin wants to suck face.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
My options are leave now or... leave now.
of 11 votes, 0% like it
My other shirt has collars.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My pants got an F so I guess they aren't so smarty.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
My parents aren't divorced...but they should be.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
My shirt has a stained past.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
My shoes are made with toe nails?
of 37 votes, 0% like it
My Silhouette lies.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
My skin was a bit thicker before I talked to you.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
My skinny was squashed by my fat.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
My Social Network isn't sociable.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
My THUMB earned a purple heart fighting in a thumb war- Hang Nail
of 11 votes, 0% like it
My week could use a Field Trip.
of 29 votes, 3% like it
Never been dished.
of 13 votes, 0% like it
No Germmys No Germmys. Sneeze!!!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
No sprain no pain.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
No sudden moves or I stain this T-shirt!
of 30 votes, 7% like it
No time for small talk. JUST BIG TALK!!!
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Normally I wouldn't talk to you.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Not sure what you're doing there.... but its dreadful.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Nothing worth waiting for is ever as good as you'd hoped.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Now's we're in a pickle.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Oh well. I might as well criticize something.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
OK, I've confirmed your presence.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
One good grocery cart to the heel will smarten you up.
of 12 votes, 0% like it
Paper- Rock -Don't run with Scissors.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Paying my Bills is good. Paying some mean guy named Bill is not.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
People have heard about what you've done
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Permanent Markers lie.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Peter picked a peck of Pickled Peppers? Who cares!
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Phew, I'm tired. I just ran amok.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Pick your words wisely. Pick your nose like an idiot.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Pimp my Dirigible.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
Pizzeria: Something you get when you eat pizza in Mexico.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Please stand by for an important announcement.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Please try back later.
of 15 votes, 0% like it
Porn Star Day Off Attire
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Professional Nitpicker
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Proud member of the population.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Pssst, I don't close my shades.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Psych ward graduate Class of 09
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Puppets: gloves on steroids
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Put the car in sex drive.
of 42 votes, 10% like it
Quit your snivlin'
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Re-gifting. It's all in the packaging.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Rear view mirrors must really like butts.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
RED means STOP GREEN means put stuff in the recycle bin.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Remote controls are made in a remote location.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
Resist the temptation to pamper me.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Rock, Paper, Scissors? Such violence!
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Rules shumules
of 30 votes, 10% like it
See Craig list. See Craig sell. See Craig take meds for his OCD.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Self mutilation is selfish
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Shaking hands is like a restained physical assault.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Show Off Off Duty
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Sickening Thud coming up.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Silver Medalist in the Zinger Olympics
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Sleeping has a lot of down time.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
Slow down. Let's not end this good time with sawdust.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Slow motion is still to fast for me.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Slow motion replay in effect
of 30 votes, 13% like it
SOCCER MOM (Why would I hit a mom?)
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Solve all of lifes problems with a hug.... or a gun.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Someone is at my door with an oversized check and ballons
of 31 votes, 6% like it
Sometimes I need to be rocked.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Sorry. I was dropped on my head as a child!
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Sorry. I'm sold out.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Sounds like a Country song.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Stationary bikes are frustrated.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Sticks and Stones may break my bones..? Well dah!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
Sticks and Stones not "MAY", they "Will" brea
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Sticks and stones not "MAY", they actually "WILL&q
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Stuff bugs me.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Subliminal Message.... LOOK AT ME!
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Sure... you can walk the walk but can you text the text?
of 26 votes, 19% like it
T shirt to you. Germ Shield to me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Tag... You're adITz
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Taking up space with style!
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Text for the memories.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Thanks for stopping by.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
That funny jerk you do right before you fall asleep.....Weird.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
That was weak!
of 26 votes, 12% like it
That's it. Drink me in. I'm really this geeky.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
The last time I was here, the couch was over there right?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
The more things change, the more they stay INSANE!
of 13 votes, 0% like it
The music in my head is skipping.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
The word "Lackluster" lacks luster.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
There are No scholarships with my name on it
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Things might get ugly.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Think before you stink!
of 24 votes, 4% like it
This is a Premature Turtleneck.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
This is a Sneeze Guard for my nipples.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
This is my Back Hair Cover Up
of 23 votes, 4% like it
This is my hair on a "good" day.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
This is my I'm bored face.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
This is my Weather Resistant attire.... (until it gets wet.)
of 12 votes, 25% like it
This shirt will sustain me for now.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Time tested and mother approved my foot.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
Tolerate___ Don't hate.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Tools of my trade: A pillow, a blanket and a cup of warm milk.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Tucked in? I'm trying to impress. Hanging out? Just chilling out.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Underwear with attitude.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Underwear: Nakeds one last line of defense.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Unemployed Tycoon!"
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Using safety scissors? I don't see the point.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Waffles vs. Pancakes! May the best breakfast win.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Wanna copyright me?
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Wanna do "lurk" sometime?
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Wanna hibernate with me?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Wanna take a look at that again in slow motion?
of 16 votes, 13% like it
WATCH.Arrogance got me here.The police will escort me from here.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
We all sell out in the end.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
We had a moment, then you called the police
of 31 votes, 16% like it
We might be looking at jail time.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
We've got to stop meeting like this.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
What you perceive as being creepy, I call being sociable.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
What's past the nose bleeds seats?
of 23 votes, 4% like it
When I leave you'll talk about me.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
When I wish upon a star.... they usually end up in rehab.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
While you wait, enjoy the music you can't get out of your head.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Who is Luke and why is he always warm?
of 39 votes, 8% like it
Who wins in a bad apple vs. bad banana fight?
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Why are TRENCHES so important they have a COAT named after them?
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Why this shirt? It smelled the cleanest.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Would you like to speak to my owner?
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Would you like to speak to the owner?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Wrinkle Wrinkle Hollywood Star...
of 6 votes, 0% like it
WWW.Idon't care.com
of 23 votes, 0% like it
Yeah, I've done time! My mother gave me Time Outs a lot!
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Yeah, I've done time. Time outs.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
YES I know how to Kiss Ya wear makeup,play guitar + blow stuff up
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Yes I would.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
Yes... they're supple.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
You are Awesometastic!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
You are my opponent. I just haven't figured out how yet.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
You can tell I care because I stare.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
You ever get bit by a litterbug?
of 13 votes, 0% like it
You had me at Snorkel
of 12 votes, 8% like it
You sought me out. Now what?
of 18 votes, 11% like it
You want demented? You've come to the right place
of 31 votes, 16% like it
You're in my path.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
You're now just a little bit dumber having talked to me.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
You're only moments away from witnessing me do something awkward
of 11 votes, 18% like it
You're out of focus. Can you get closer?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
You're part of an infommercial right now.
of 32 votes, 3% like it
You're saving the same drivel as the last time we talked.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
You're the water on top of my catchup.
of 29 votes, 3% like it
You've just entered a No Hate Zone.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
You've just entered a Spontaneous Hug Zone.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Your Copyright is Copywrong.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Your mouth could use sneakers because it runs so much.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Your now in my "time line".
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Yup! You're Obnoxious. Your doctor should take a look at that.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Yup! You're Obnoxious. Your doctor should take a look at that.
of 19 votes, 16% like it

My gallery photos

I haven't submitted any photos. I guess I don't want free money.

All about me

Professional Freelance illustrator/Cartoonist/Illustrator

Mountain biking, dirt biking, surfing, running, soccer-----being a dad and husband!!!