nathanwpyle at gmail.com
aka Nathan W. Pyle is a 29.97 year old boy, has been a member since September 29, 2008, has scored 10,025 submissions, giving an average score of 4.02, helping 493 designs get printed.
CAGES. They're what separates us from the animals.
of 47 votes, 64% like it
You know what they say about short term memory?
of 39 votes, 54% like it
GENETIC ENGINEERING: one giant leap for mantelopes
of 68 votes, 68% like it
Don't look now, but I'm implying you should look now.
of 89 votes, 66% like it
Over 40 trillion people are confused by large numbers.
of 79 votes, 57% like it
I'll be the FIRST to admit I'm really competitive.
of 93 votes, 72% like it
So you think you can start a sentence with a conjunction?
of 75 votes, 64% like it
FACT: preceding anything with the word fact makes it a fact.
of 94 votes, 72% like it
Whoa! I have the exact same air guitar
of 108 votes, 71% like it
LIFE. results may vary.
of 102 votes, 74% like it
RIGHT NOW. it's the latest thing!
of 66 votes, 53% like it
THESAURUS. don't leave home, abode, dwelling without it
of 81 votes, 74% like it
This shirt is awesome-activated. It turns red when I'm awesome.
of 82 votes, 56% like it
This is only a test. If it were a real emergency I'd be like AAAH
of 93 votes, 66% like it
I like to point out the obvious. Also, this is a shirt.
of 83 votes, 64% like it
Can I read minds? I'm glad you were about to ask.
of 104 votes, 64% like it
I'm not immature. You are. Times infinity.
of 97 votes, 63% like it
every year statistics kill 637 people
of 86 votes, 59% like it
INERTIA lets the good times roll.
of 70 votes, 71% like it
Three cheers for repetition!
of 83 votes, 65% like it
Honesty is the best policy. Running away is a close second.
of 77 votes, 65% like it
PANCAKES. it all works out for the batter
of 61 votes, 41% like it
I sense your sarcasm, and I kindly reciprocate.
of 79 votes, 75% like it
Listen to your heart! make sure it's still beating and what not
of 56 votes, 57% like it
The HORIZON. it's something to look forward to.
of 67 votes, 61% like it
Double negatives don't do no harm!
of 72 votes, 51% like it
PUSH ME. I talk!
of 56 votes, 54% like it
BRIDGES. I'm so over them.
of 67 votes, 72% like it
coming up next... The Person Behind Me
of 87 votes, 75% like it
Approximately a lot of people don't remember statistics very well
of 66 votes, 59% like it
You know what they say: you can't believe what people say.
of 59 votes, 58% like it
If my friends could see me now..I'd wonder where they're hiding
of 57 votes, 61% like it
I'm not clumsy, everything is just in the wrong place.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
squirrel chauffeurs drive me nuts
of 49 votes, 45% like it
I had to choose between a watch and a shirt. So..what time is it?
of 52 votes, 56% like it
Some say invisibility is the best superpower. I just don't see it
of 75 votes, 79% like it
being immortal never gets old.
of 88 votes, 73% like it
Simon says you have unhealthy dependence issues.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
I challenge you to a duel of subtle gestures.
of 72 votes, 60% like it
THE MOON. it's a nice place but it lacks atmosphere.
of 82 votes, 67% like it
I'm like the Millard Fillmore of obscure historical references.
of 80 votes, 61% like it
>:**#()% some emotions are too complex for emoticons
of 58 votes, 64% like it
My hidden talent must have found a really good hiding spot.
of 111 votes, 83% like it
everyone starts out as a nudist.
of 80 votes, 59% like it
If everyone jumped off a cliff, I would do it better.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
From now on, everything I do is abstract performance art.
of 55 votes, 44% like it
GRAVITY. that's how it all went down.
of 82 votes, 71% like it
I've come from the future to warn you about that expired cheese.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
You had a 1 in six billion chance of meeting me today. Lucky.
of 83 votes, 67% like it
You should probably include this encounter on your resume.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
I AM A GIANT TALKING BABY.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
Sticks and stones may break my bones. That's why I stay indoors.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
I refuse to answer any questions about my evasiveness.
of 65 votes, 55% like it
I don't take myself too seriously.details at the press conference
of 51 votes, 57% like it
Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a law against being melodramatic?
of 61 votes, 62% like it
silence is golden. and by golden I mean awkward.
of 78 votes, 73% like it
Math taught me to divide. World history taught me to conquer.
of 88 votes, 78% like it
They say good things come to those who wait. Well. Here I am.
of 63 votes, 59% like it
hindsight is 20-20. peripheral vision is bear/tree/not sure.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
I would not be offended if you gave me money.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
Animal testing is cruel. Because animals can't read.
of 77 votes, 73% like it
I time travel to find myself
of 47 votes, 45% like it
If it looks like I am eavesdropping, then you need to speak up.
of 65 votes, 63% like it
I can speak six languages. Also I made up six languages.
of 69 votes, 62% like it
Some people have experience under their belts. I have pants.
of 81 votes, 75% like it
The good news is I've forgotten the bad news.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
Having a big vocabulary is really...um.. nice.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
I'm trying to be more specific and what-not.
of 57 votes, 54% like it
Spoiler alert: everybody dies. eventually.
of 64 votes, 72% like it
I believe people of every race should play that funky music.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. also, I dented your car.
of 62 votes, 66% like it
IT'S OK TO TALK TO YOURSELF. at least that's what I tell myself.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
Clairvoyants unite! you know the place.
of 73 votes, 77% like it
I took a quiz about you online. My result: 'stalker.'
of 48 votes, 44% like it
Sorry, my back story is not that interesting. (ON BACK)
of 57 votes, 58% like it
I MAKE MY OWN CLICHES like a fox swimmin' underwater.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
I'm so sneaky, even I don't know what I'm doing.
of 72 votes, 75% like it
Forests are shady.
of 60 votes, 52% like it
DON'T BE TRIPPIN'. tie your shoes.
of 63 votes, 59% like it
lazy people unite! no hurry.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
One day we'll look back at this moment and not remember it.
of 75 votes, 59% like it
CONTROVERSY! discuss.
of 65 votes, 51% like it
Sometimes I get out of line. If that happens, save my spot.
of 67 votes, 63% like it
Loners rule! Who's with me? Anybody?
of 90 votes, 76% like it
TORNADOES. the natural pick-me-up!
of 67 votes, 49% like it
It's less than 365 days till my birthday!
of 65 votes, 57% like it
MURPHY'S LOL. whatever can go wrong will be fun to watch.
of 73 votes, 67% like it
follow me to the secret hideout
of 57 votes, 54% like it
Let's play a game. Whoever's shirt is read first wins.
of 68 votes, 53% like it
CURIOSITY TEST (front); Results: You are curious. (back)
of 75 votes, 64% like it
THIS IS A DREAM. In real life, I wear pants.
of 58 votes, 41% like it
I don't know what a rhetorical question is. So what?
of 60 votes, 52% like it
Sometimes I gallop, just for a change of pace.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
ECHOES. Nature's way of mocking your loneliness.
of 102 votes, 74% like it
When I was a kid, I dreamed of owning this shirt.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
Me, skeptical? Psssh.
of 60 votes, 62% like it
Everyone should stand for something. I stand for 8 hours a day.
of 61 votes, 67% like it
I make good money. But the police keep calling it 'counterfeit.'
of 76 votes, 67% like it
Hey temporal and frontal lobes, thanks for the memories.
of 59 votes, 58% like it
Needles to say, I'm a pretty sharp speller.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
mixing languages is uber-cool
of 60 votes, 50% like it
I manage my anger pretty well. I always have enough.
of 61 votes, 61% like it
BEEKEEPING. I do it for the honeys.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
STATIC ELECTRICITY. The best way to conduct yourself.
of 58 votes, 55% like it
I'd like to propose a toast to buttered bread.
of 54 votes, 48% like it
Sometimes I forget to turn off the irony.
of 61 votes, 69% like it
Commence the secret handshake
of 58 votes, 45% like it
I assume this is the long, silent phase of our secret handshake
of 65 votes, 71% like it
I don't believe in stereotypes. People my age never do.
of 88 votes, 81% like it
Ask me tomorrow for predictions about today. They're always right
of 55 votes, 49% like it
CAREERS. everyone's least favorite after-school activity.
of 71 votes, 70% like it
Please don't move.I really like this spatial relationship we have
of 54 votes, 59% like it
METAPHYSICS. whatever happens may or may not happen.
of 71 votes, 69% like it
Due to economic concerns, the letter Y is discontinued. Thank ou.
of 74 votes, 70% like it
I am NOT defensive. Or redundant. Or defensive.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
When I have time on my hands, I lick it off. I hate wasting time.
of 78 votes, 54% like it
I'm not afraid of the future.I'm afraid of ROBOTS from the future
of 65 votes, 63% like it
Whoa, this is JUST like my dream. Minus the flying koalas.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
A journey of 1,000 miles begins with one awesome mix tape
of 65 votes, 54% like it
CAUTION: Shooting the breeze may harm innocent bystanders.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
Word order matters. Believe me you.
of 61 votes, 66% like it
used crayons are pointless.
of 59 votes, 54% like it
To quote my favorite mime: '' ''
of 78 votes, 64% like it
I don't mean to be forward. That's just the direction I'm walking
of 72 votes, 63% like it
I have no 'best friend forever' They all compete on a daily basis
of 62 votes, 63% like it
A pair of spurs would have made my entrance a lot more epic.
of 73 votes, 58% like it
Narcissism is the only thing I don't like about me.
of 76 votes, 66% like it
Whoever invented the parachute probably did it very quickly.
of 96 votes, 76% like it
Imaginary friends are better than fake ones.
of 104 votes, 77% like it
I often eat some of the bacon as I'm bringing it home.
of 84 votes, 60% like it
Pirate stereotypes hurt me feelings.
of 96 votes, 73% like it
Maybe the day doesn't want to be seized.
of 85 votes, 68% like it
Life is a charade. And the mimes are winning.
of 68 votes, 47% like it
Time travel is possible. You'll understand when you're younger.
of 96 votes, 68% like it
I wouldn't call myself a superhero. I prefer to keep it a secret.
of 80 votes, 61% like it
We all have hard choices to make. That's why God invented coins.
of 78 votes, 71% like it
PIONEERS. They never settle.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
NOBODY tells me what to do. Which is why I'm so confused.
of 77 votes, 69% like it
In case I am cloned, this shirt proves I'm the real me.
of 85 votes, 74% like it
TODAY'S ITINERARY: 1. Shenanigans. 2. Hijinks. 3. Tomfoolery.
of 78 votes, 63% like it
PUT AN END TO VIOLENCE. Or at least seriously injure it.
of 68 votes, 68% like it
I have issues with personal space. Let's keep it between us.
of 76 votes, 62% like it
PERSONAL SPACE. Let's keep it between us.
of 66 votes, 53% like it
There's a healthy eater inside of me. I ate him.
of 60 votes, 62% like it
You cant always believe your eyes.But you can count on your hands
of 62 votes, 60% like it
Sorry to hear you were vaporized. You will be mist.
of 87 votes, 70% like it
PLEASE REMEMBER ME. I may need an alibi.
of 74 votes, 70% like it
Do you want me to do what you just asked me to do?-love, computer
of 46 votes, 39% like it
German pun contest! Mein is the wurst.
of 60 votes, 60% like it
Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Settle for average.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
I______ have_____ a______ fear______ of_______ small_____spaces.
of 74 votes, 58% like it
Help contain claustrophobia.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
My mood is consistent. It changes every single hour.
of 64 votes, 50% like it
There's a 0.27% chance it's my birthday. We better play it safe.
of 64 votes, 55% like it
Chivalry isn't dead. It got stuck holding the door.
of 87 votes, 77% like it
SPOONS. They're causing a stir.
of 58 votes, 45% like it
Variety is the spice of life! Monotony is the bland, chewy part.
of 61 votes, 66% like it
I'm just legit enough to quit.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
Sorry to change the subject, but...I'm awesome.
of 66 votes, 42% like it
I'm accurate 24/7/365.25
of 61 votes, 66% like it
Forget plane geometry. I can do FANCY geometry.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
I'm going to mentally check out now. Could you cover for me?
of 46 votes, 41% like it
The expressway to my heart will require an emotional toll.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
If my calculations are correct, you'll finish reading this....now
of 51 votes, 47% like it
I throw my hands in the air, but when I wave them, I still care.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
It's hard to be a dime because everyone turns on you.
of 49 votes, 45% like it
I found myself in a parallel universe. And then I found myself.
of 49 votes, 47% like it
Does anyone know where the field trip group went?
of 56 votes, 54% like it
DESTINY CALLS. Fate usually sends an email.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
All my bodyguards are disguised as oblivious strangers.
of 76 votes, 74% like it
VAMPIRES. good at taking your pulse. bad at giving back.
of 50 votes, 40% like it
It's not easy being green. And it's even harder being chartreuse.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
I am bad at telling stories. the end.
of 68 votes, 49% like it
When the Earth makes one full rotation,I'm ready to call it a day
of 63 votes, 48% like it
Sometimes I want attention.Other times Im just clearing my throat
of 65 votes, 58% like it
> a feeling
of 60 votes, 43% like it
I have this nightmare of bananas in pajamas coming down my stairs
of 56 votes, 36% like it
If 90º angles are wrong, I don't want to be right.
of 53 votes, 57% like it
Cannot be held liable for accidents that occur while reading this
of 56 votes, 63% like it
Theres no time like the present.Except right now which is similar
of 69 votes, 72% like it
I believe nature beats nurture. Cause nature's got WOLVES.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
I'd rather be a happy camper than a sad winnebago
of 61 votes, 54% like it
I finally admitted to myself that I have multiple personalities.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
I threw caution to the wind and it blew into my eyes. It stings.
of 70 votes, 63% like it
WORD PROBLEMS. nice try, math. we know it's you.
of 111 votes, 77% like it
I'll take Roman Numerals for D, Alex.
of 56 votes, 39% like it
Things have been really vague and ominous ever since THE INCIDENT
of 60 votes, 45% like it
When you used the word plethora, it meant a lot to me
of 63 votes, 56% like it
The perfect tense has arrived.
of 58 votes, 48% like it
My mom said monsters aren't real. And now I'm lonely at night.
of 73 votes, 68% like it
And how does 'not knowing how you feel' make you feel?
of 57 votes, 40% like it
Boring stuff happened. Nobody wrote it down. The rest is history.
of 66 votes, 53% like it
You stay out of this.This is between me and the person behind you
of 59 votes, 54% like it
Everyone watch. I'm about to be awesome.
of 65 votes, 46% like it
If by 'push up' you mean a frozen treat then yes I can do several
of 75 votes, 71% like it
BUDDY SYSTEM! Please keep track of my whereabouts.
of 62 votes, 47% like it
Alright, so I mix up prepositions sometimes. Get above it.
of 54 votes, 41% like it
It's hard to say goodbye. It's even harder to say rural.
of 64 votes, 64% like it
Rocking around the clock is a 12 step process
of 57 votes, 46% like it
There is nothing supreme about covering a pizza with vegetables.
of 60 votes, 58% like it
Surveys show 40% of people lie half the time. So really it's 20%
of 56 votes, 46% like it
Here's someone who hates it when people talk in third person.
of 64 votes, 58% like it
I think we've all made a generalization once or twice.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
Trophies are cool. But participation ribbons are MULTI-COLORED.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
Llamas: Nature's most lovable typo.
of 59 votes, 61% like it
So far today, I have
1. Started a list
of 64 votes, 59% like it
Sometimes I let my guard down. Other times he stays in the tower.
of 72 votes, 68% like it
Short people! Be long together!
of 55 votes, 49% like it
Spell check fixes all your typos. Accept for some.
of 59 votes, 51% like it
If I had to choose one superpower, I'd take INSTANT OATMEAL.
of 50 votes, 50% like it
Hypochondriacs are like magazines. A new issue every month.
of 48 votes, 42% like it
The word LOVE shouldn't be tossed around. Too many sharp corners
of 51 votes, 43% like it
Be kind to animals. Most of them don't want to kill or maim you.
of 54 votes, 50% like it
Once as I was walking to England, I realized I have to stop lying
of 66 votes, 56% like it
Catching a falling star would actually be pretty unlucky.
of 79 votes, 80% like it
DNA: everyone has a twisted double life.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
'Money problems' implies having money. I just have problems.
of 71 votes, 66% like it
I've been around the block a few times. In other words, I am lost
of 87 votes, 77% like it
The secret to being a spy is creating a diversion. Thank you.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
Today's been very productive. At least in terms of carbon dioxide
of 63 votes, 37% like it
Your frolic needs more whimsey!
of 51 votes, 53% like it
If I were you, I'd think about not calling me passive aggressive
of 57 votes, 61% like it
This is the second best way to start conversations.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
I dont know howthe world ends.But it will involve special effects
of 53 votes, 49% like it
GENETIC HYBRIDS:1 small step for man. 1 giant leap for mantelopes
of 54 votes, 41% like it
Cubism causes multiple side effects.
of 66 votes, 56% like it
Knowing who to trust is hard. But usually the music gives it away
of 55 votes, 58% like it
We've all made mistakes. But what you did. Wow. That was bad.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
Children should just grow up.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
SAFETY SEAL: the sworn enemy of the danger walrus.
of 54 votes, 50% like it
I HATE GOODBYES. So let's just act like we don't know each other.
of 60 votes, 43% like it
Let's make awkward eye contact in 3..2..1..
of 62 votes, 65% like it
I hope this common Earth garment makes me inconspicuous.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
Let's make brief, awkward eye contact in 3..2..1..
of 56 votes, 64% like it
You're never going to get away with this predictable ending!!
of 51 votes, 43% like it
I think one synonym for adequate is enough.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
I'm beginning to suspect some things on TV are fake.
of 61 votes, 59% like it
Real bears don't care.
of 69 votes, 74% like it
SOMEBODY CALL THE LOCKSMITH. MY CAPS LOCK IS BUSTED.
of 40 votes, 40% like it
MY LOVE IS NOT FOR SALE. But my friendship is reasonably priced.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
Good friends show you their heart. Good ninjas show you YOURS.
of 57 votes, 56% like it
Say what you said yesterday! My comeback is ready now.
of 70 votes, 47% like it
I'm not saying I'm shy. I just hope that someone says it for me.
of 56 votes, 45% like it
Remember that one summer when there were two asteroid movies?
of 66 votes, 36% like it
Universal Remotes probably won't work in other galaxies.
of 78 votes, 74% like it
Liquid nitrogen is cool. If that's what you're N2 (subscript)
of 61 votes, 64% like it
DRAMATIC PAUSES MAKE EVERYTHING THAT. MUCH. BETTER.
of 70 votes, 61% like it
UNNECESSARY PAUSES MAKE EVERYTHING THAT. MUCH. BETTER.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
When opportunity knocks, don't say "Opportunity who?"
of 61 votes, 57% like it
I can translate Italics. I just tilt my head a little.
of 66 votes, 62% like it
Mountains are inclined to make it harder for climbers
of 71 votes, 61% like it
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS. Spontaneity rings the doorbell and runs away
of 67 votes, 48% like it
When I had to choose my favorite bird, I decided on a lark.
of 57 votes, 40% like it
Youre more likely to be struck by a shark than eaten by lightning
of 70 votes, 66% like it
Quit playing games with my heart. You cruel Aztecs.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
I clap ambidextrously
of 77 votes, 62% like it
The only currency I carry is solid gold bars. Made of gold.
of 60 votes, 35% like it
People who can't stop quoting movies have a problem. Houston.
of 68 votes, 54% like it
VIKINGS are strong to the finnish
of 56 votes, 48% like it
If we do battle, I will jump on your head three times to win.
of 59 votes, 46% like it
My new year's revolution is to improve my vocabulary.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
I get a buzz from onomatopoeias
of 60 votes, 45% like it
Actors are hot. But reactors are hotter.
of 63 votes, 49% like it
Poseidon keeps his seashell collection on his continental shelf
of 65 votes, 54% like it
How does a cricket know if his jokes are going over well?
of 62 votes, 42% like it
I drove 88 mph in a DeLorean and all I got was a speeding ticket.
of 71 votes, 52% like it
This will end up in a thrift store someday.
of 80 votes, 51% like it
I love the words 'now' and 'ever.' Now more than ever.
of 60 votes, 42% like it
People who forward chain emails should have their kidneys stolen
of 78 votes, 44% like it
There comes a life in everyone's time when you sense making stop
of 57 votes, 39% like it
@#$% happens when you try to capitalize numbers.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
OUR BORDERS ARE INSECURE. And our coasts are socially awkward
of 92 votes, 70% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
1 in like 3 or maybe 4 people don't remember statistics very well
of 19 votes, 37% like it
A coffin? That's the last thing I need.
of 9 votes, 44% like it
A lot of people confuse me with that one person you don't know
of 26 votes, 23% like it
A ninja is just a life coach who takes you out of the game.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
A ninja's favorite plant is an ambush.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
Act like a pirate! just don't go overboard.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Adding LY turns any adjective into an adverb. Guaranteedly.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Age is not a number. It is a word.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
all the cool people are going this way
of 17 votes, 12% like it
All the latest research suggests that research is expensive.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
All the latest research suggests that research is overrated.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
Alright, so I mix up my prepositions. Get on it and move over.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Am I persuasive? I'll put you down for yes.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Ambidextrous clapper
of 27 votes, 37% like it
AMBIGUITY. so what if I do?
of 15 votes, 7% like it
AMNESIA. you never forget your first time.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
AMNESIACS ANONYMOUS. your secret is safe with us.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Anagrams are het ebst!
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Anonymous people unite!
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Anti-commercialism™
of 19 votes, 26% like it
APPLE FARMERS ARRESTED IN CIDER TRADING SCAM
of 27 votes, 26% like it
APPROXIMATE is a 20 letter word
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Are the giant robots still right behind me? (If so, nod slowly)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Are we friends now? (I will take silence as a yes)
of 15 votes, 27% like it
ARE YOU CRAZY?? if so, we should be friends.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Bad short term memory? I get that a lot. I think.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
Being short keeps me on the edge of my seat.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Being shot through makes it surprisingly hard to sing.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Being shot through the heart makes it hardto sing or assign blame
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Being subjective works for me!
of 13 votes, 15% like it
BOOKS! they're like really long subtitles
of 24 votes, 29% like it
BORED. You too, huh?
of 8 votes, 38% like it
BRAINSTORMS. they're mind blowing!
of 17 votes, 35% like it
BREVITY. it is.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Bubbly personalities upset my stomach.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
CAGES. They're what separate us from the animals.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
cartoons are unrealistic.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Certain words cause panic. Like Run. Or else.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
CHICKS DIG with their tiny claws.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
circles are hot. 360° to be precise.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
CIRCULAR REASONING. it is what it is.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
CONGRATS. you made it past all of my bodyguards.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
CONSTRUCTION PAPER. surprisingly bad choice for home construction
of 19 votes, 32% like it
COOKIE DOUGH. it's like cookies but batter.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
COOKIE DOUGH. like cookies but open source
of 11 votes, 18% like it
CRAMMING. you learn something new every May.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
cubism has some crazy side effects
of 27 votes, 37% like it
DANGER FIRST on opposite day
of 3 votes, 33% like it
DANGER. it's dangerous.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
DARKNESS. it's an overnight sensation!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Dentists can get on my nerves. But there are no hard fillings.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
DINOSAURS. pics or it didn't happen.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
DISTRACTION is a 15 letter word
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Do I believe in monsters? Not Yeti.
of 46 votes, 35% like it
Don't be afraid. It's you. (backwards)
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Don't believe cliches. I lost a fortune on a hotcake shop.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
EARTH. everyone I know lives there.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
End the cruel use of multiple dogs in schoolyard dares.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Every kiss begins with K. Every diabolical laugh begins with BW.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
Everyone else has stopped calling me passive aggressive. And you?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
EXCLAMATION MARKS. one is enough!!!!
of 2 votes, 100% like it
EXCLAMATION MARKS. one is enough!!!!
of 2 votes, 50% like it
EXERCISE your right to eat bacon
of 14 votes, 21% like it
FAMILY. they're like family.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
fate brought us together. this shirt will do the rest
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Fight moves are 60% more deadly if you shout the name first.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Forget gravity, I defy logic.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
Forget reusable bags. I need reusable groceries.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Forget the bills, I can hardly pay attention.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
French subtitles will appear here when I speak.
of 56 votes, 30% like it
Friends are just strangers you have yet to lose touch with.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
GENETIC HYBRIDS: one giant leap for mantelopes
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Give gambling a chance!
of 10 votes, 40% like it
Go with your heart! you kind of need it.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Good friends show you their heart. But ninjas show you YOUR heart
of 47 votes, 30% like it
Good friends show you their heart.Good ninjas show you YOUR heart
of 14 votes, 29% like it
GRAVITY: how it all goes down.
of 19 votes, 42% like it
Guess what kind of underwear I'm wearing! answer on back. (blank)
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Hackman is a dominant Gene.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Haha! Babies can't read this.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
Haha! I have a jacket on so you can't read this!
of 53 votes, 30% like it
haha. good one, life.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
he who hesitates
of 25 votes, 20% like it
He who hesitates is lost. He who hibernates is like, a bear.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
HEALTHY WEIGHT. I'm so over it.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Help! I'm trapped in a story problem and can't find point B.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Helvetica shot the serif
of 12 votes, 42% like it
Hey! It's national don't ignore me day.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Hey, good talk.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
HISTORY IS EASY. This is an historical reenactment of yesterday.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
hold on. coherent thought is loading.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Honesty is the best policy, but ambiguity leaves you more options
of 10 votes, 30% like it
Honesty is...the best policy. Sure, we'll go with that.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
How to improve a Chick Flick:replace 1 character with molten lava
of 40 votes, 25% like it
HUMAN INTERACTION. this is the part where I always mess up
of 18 votes, 39% like it
hypochondria kills. probably.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
I am < pleased
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I am fluent in any language that I made up.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I am historically reenacting yesterday.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I beg to differ. Please please let me differ.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
I believe in the chaos theory. That's why I hate butterflies.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I believe it's bad luck to walk under things that are falling.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
I believe there's something out there. just beyond those trees.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I believe there's something out there. like just past those trees
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I bet you couldn't catch me. If I ran. Or was thrown to you.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
I bought a universal remote. I hope it works in other galaxies.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
I can has 15 minutes of fame?
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I can live without constant attention. Just watch me.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
I can make friends. But it's cheaper to find ones already made.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I can predict what will happen today!But you have to ask tomorrow
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I can read music. It sounds like do-do-do-DO-do.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
I can recognize Japanese characters. Like Mr. Miyagi.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
I can see the writing on the wall.Theyre about to take my crayons
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I can't just sit by and do nothing. I'm gonna need a magazine.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I can't keep a secret. And everyone knows it.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I cannot afford both a watch and a shirt. Also what time is it?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I carry my groceries in this reusable shirt.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
I challenge you to a duel of subtle glances.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
I could never stay on my carpet square
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I could outrun a horse. If we both ran on two legs.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I create my own contractions. Deal with't.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
I create my own theme music.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I dare you to put safety first.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I did my calculus homework. But I have no proof.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
I don't believe in coincidences. So stop following me.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I don't care who started the fire. Who brought the marshmallows?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I don't know how empathy feels
of 4 votes, 50% like it
I don't mean to be forward. I just tend to walk that way.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I don't need anesthesia. I'm naturally insensitive.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
I don't talk to myself but sometimes he talks to me
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I don't understand emoticons. sad face.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I enjoy using archaic words whilst being unsure of their meaning
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS (would really improve my life)
of 11 votes, 36% like it
I feel like most people shouldn't operate heavy machinery anyway
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I feel like no one ever acknowledges my inferiority complex
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I forgot to turn off the irony and burned down a firehouse.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
I found a lot of cool stuff in the lost and found.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
I found myself in a parallel world and then I found myself.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I found this in the lost and found.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I get my vitamins by eating 1small brightly colored caveman a day
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I got cut from the Knife Fighting Team.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
I got cut from the knife fighting team. It really hurt.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I had a job as an alligator wrestler. but i couldn't hold it down
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I had an accident in which I lost my sense of style.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I hate saying 'I'm sorry.' So consider this shirt my apology.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I have a bad short term memory. also a bad short term memory.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
I have cat-like reflexes. In the sense I swat at shiny things.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
I have no ideal posterior size,and I see no need to lie about it.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I hope my Universal Remote works in other galaxies.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I interact in real time
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I killed curiosity and freed the cat.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I know we said red carnations,but all I could find was this shirt
of 30 votes, 30% like it
I like a thin layer of cake under my icing.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I like to imply ambiguous things. And you're next.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I like to keep my options open and my captions closed.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I like to take a crack at everything. except drugs.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I liked the phrase 'before it was cool' before it was cool
of 16 votes, 31% like it
I love people watching. Apparently so do you.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I love superlatives. Now more than ever.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I love to meet new people everyday. Partly because I'm a fugitive
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I love watching the sun rise and set. Also I need a job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I made my password 'invalid' so I get a clue if I get it wrong
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I may be bad at spelling, but I have the heart of a loin.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I may look tough on the outside, but I have a soft, nougat center
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I NARRATE MY OWN LIFE (underneath) I said quietly
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I need to improve my glistening skills. or something like that
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I need to update my slang somethin' fierce.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
I never back down from danger. That's what turning/running is for
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I NEVER BACK DOWN. that would be dangerous to walk backwards
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I never compare myself to others. I'm better than that.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I never forget a face. I put one on every morning.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I NEVER LOOK BACK. so let me know if someone's behind me.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I NEVER REGRET ANYTHING. There are some things I gret though.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I never run from danger. I back away slowly.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I often bite off more than I can chew. Also I spit out food a lot
of 20 votes, 30% like it
I only mock turtle necks
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I passed anatomy by the skin of my teeth.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I PUMP IRON EVERYDAY. through my bloodstream.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I put a lot of stuff on my resume. Now I can't find it.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I put the PRO in impromptu dance party.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I run like the wind. In the sense that the wind doesn't run.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I SEE NATURE! What do I do?
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I see you're still pretending not to know me.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I see youre still pretending theres no suprise party for me today
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I speak a secret language using only subtle gestures. Oh you too?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I SUPPORT THINGS. especially things that are about to tip over.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I tend to blame others for my failure. Runs in the family.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I TEND TO KEEP EVERYTHING INSIDE.It makes it hard to park the car
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I tend to make illogical assertions. Blame it on the applesauce.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I tend to over-explain. (like I explain too much)
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I tend to overthink things. I mean I guess I do. Maybe.
of 6 votes, 67% like it
I think this is where we line up and say 'good game.'
of 12 votes, 25% like it
I think we were separated at birth. Say hi to mom and dad for me.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I tried to be more transparent, but all my organs got in the way
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I try to meet new people everyday. In other words, I'm a fugitive
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I want to one day possibly be a bit more confident* (* I hope)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
I was a major in nursing until I started to hit the bottle.(kids)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I was the first to hate it when people claim they were first.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I wear this costume to premieres of movies set in modern times
of 16 votes, 31% like it
I went to the edge of the universe. Nothing to look forward to.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I wish I had lived with no regrets
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I would eat sushi if it weren't raw. and also fish.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I would exfoliate if I could just find my foliate.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I would talk to strangers more if I knew them.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I would watch chick flicks if one lead was played by molten lava
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I wrote a short story about climbing a mountain. I made it up.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I'd like to take a look at the kids menu
of 58 votes, 33% like it
I'd take a stress test if they didn't make me so anxious.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
I'M A MODEL (citizen)
of 11 votes, 18% like it
I'm addicted to quitting. But I can quit whenever I want.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
I'm an ambidextrous clapper
of 42 votes, 26% like it
I'm an elastic hydrocarbon polymer, and you're a liquid adhesive.
of 17 votes, 41% like it
I'm arguably the greatest arguer ever.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I'm beginning to suspect some things in movies are fake.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I'm good at keeping secrets. that's why I'm a secret agent.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
I'm mad. about science. bwaa ha ha
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I'm not as redundant as people say I am redundant, but I'm not.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I'm not gullible. And I bought a certificate that proves it.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I'm not home right now. Please don't steal anything.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I'm not saying I'm socially awkward. I'm kind of afraid to say it
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I'm often a little apprehensive.You know, if that's okay with you
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'm on an epic quest to find the narrator.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I'm only cryptic when the crow flies at midnight over black hills
of 35 votes, 37% like it
I'm pretty active on the world wide interspace!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I'm pretty good at detecting patterns. Your underwear is plaid.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I'm pretty sure I'm invincible
of 49 votes, 29% like it
I'm rehearsing to play myself in the movie about my life.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
I'm starting to see a pattern to this 'days of the week' thing
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I'm telepathic. It sounds like you are too.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
I'm the one who took the user name you wanted.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
I'm way less creepy than the constant phone calls make me sound
of 13 votes, 23% like it
I've been bad at estimating for like 100 years.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
I've been looking for you all my life! Now what do I do?
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I've granted everyone permission to speak freely.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I've never won a fight. But I have been runner up a few times.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
If everyone in the world held hands, we could put an end to blogs
of 51 votes, 37% like it
If I were a shapeshifter, I'd make myself a sandwich.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If life is a highway, then friends are the rumble strips.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
If this shirt is floating, you are a vampire. (backwards)
of 49 votes, 33% like it
If we are held hostage, send me out for the pizzas.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
If you don't answer the call of nature, it will leave a message.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
If you want to see my profile, go here or here. (with arrows)
of 13 votes, 15% like it
IMMORTALITY: it never gets old
of 5 votes, 40% like it
In some countries staring is offensive. Good thing we're here!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
INDIGO didn't want to be in your stupid cartoon rainbow anyway.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
International capture the flag! (ours is on the moon.)
of 7 votes, 14% like it
INVISIBLE SWORDS? I don't see the point.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
is everything . timing
of 13 votes, 46% like it
Is that a parenthetical colon or are you just happy to see me?
of 16 votes, 31% like it
It's bad luck to walk under certain things. Like falling things.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
It's hard to write a story on sandpaper. Unless it's non-friction
of 28 votes, 29% like it
It's not whether you win or lose. It's just not. Leave me alone.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Its not whether you win or lose.Stop looking at me.I'm not crying
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Je voudrais le kids menu si vous plait
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Job hunting is a lot easier if you carry a spear.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
KINETIC ENERGY. That's how I roll.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Kitten attack! Shield your eyes!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
knowing people on drugs is my anti-drug
of 12 votes, 8% like it
LEATHER PANTS. they're hard to pull off!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Leave all these people alone. I'm the one you're looking for.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Let's make awkward eye contact.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Let's make awkward eye contact. Ready? Go!
of 21 votes, 38% like it
life is short. liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffe is long.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Life with opposable thumbs is a snap.
of 41 votes, 34% like it
LIGHTHOUSES are surprisingly heavy
of 9 votes, 22% like it
LIGHTNING. The 'tsk tsk' of mother nature.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
LITERASY!
of 2 votes, 50% like it
LLAMA: Nature's typo.
of 23 votes, 52% like it
LLAMAS: nature's typo
of 22 votes, 41% like it
Loners rule! Who's with me?
of 14 votes, 36% like it
Look out world, I'm a young person!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Look! There's a ninja behind you too late he is gone.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
LUNCH. my time to shine!
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Magic carpets can't really fly. Nor do much to cushion your fall.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Make everything soft and no one gets hurt!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
My arms are about this long. (gesture included)
of 10 votes, 10% like it
my favorite color is dark black.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
My narcissism is the only thing I don't like about myself.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
My worst fear: a mutant clown-spider asking me to speak in public
of 39 votes, 26% like it
Narcissism is my only negative quality.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
Nature called. It left you a message.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Never ask a cannibal if he wants a knuckle sandwich.Cause he DOES
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. They prefer eye contact.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
Never underestimate redundancy.Never.Underestimate it(redundancy)
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Ninjas don't get jokes. Ninjas get even.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Ninjas don't get knock-knock jokes. Cause they don't use doors.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Ninjas don't get knock-knock jokes. They dont use doors. or jokes
of 5 votes, 40% like it
No one ever said life wouldn't not be confusing
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Not my shirt. Just had a torso transplant.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
NUCLEAR FUSION. it's hot.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Oh snap! I just remembered I have opposable thumbs.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Ostracize villains. Penguinize super villains.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Our whole lives have led up to this moment.Sorry I didnt dress up
of 24 votes, 25% like it
PANGEA. pics or it didn't happen
of 16 votes, 13% like it
parachute pants: probably not a good way to slow your descent
of 15 votes, 27% like it
PAY ATTENTION. my shirt will only say this once.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Peering through a keyhole is not as fun as it used to be
of 26 votes, 19% like it
PEOPLE WHO SAY 'GOOD.' they mean well
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Pessimists unite! (yeah, like this is going to work)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Pinky swears surprisingly do not hold up in a court of law.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Please direct me to the free samples.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Press here to refresh. (ON BACK)
of 13 votes, 15% like it
PRESS HERE TO REFRESH. (scratching works too.) - ON BACK
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Psssst. I'm leaking.
of 22 votes, 41% like it
pun lovers you night!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
REACH FOR THE STARS! now you're just like 4 light years away.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
READING. it's like movies with subtitles and no pictures
of 21 votes, 29% like it
REAL HEROES put on their own oxygen mask first.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
Red eye reduction software is useless on EVIL CYBORGS.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
remind me to improve my memory
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Remind me to take more initiative.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
SCHOOL: it's the word on the street. in front of schools.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
sentences without verbs. so cliche.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
service temporarily unavailable.please look again in afew minutes
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Setting a new goal for myself got me kicked off the soccer team
of 22 votes, 27% like it
SHAPESHIFTERS. make me a sandwich.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Shoot for the stars! Burning up instantaneously=awesome way to go
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Shoot for the stars! But try not to actually hit one.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Shoot for the stars! no one gets hurt that way.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
sign me up for anonymity!
of 3 votes, 33% like it
SLEEP. it's the least I can do!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Snide remarks don't pay the rent. But then neither does my job.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
So this one time, I was born.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Solar wind blows my mind.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Some electricians replace the wiring. But I refuse.
of 43 votes, 30% like it
Sometimes I act sad to balance outlaughter at inappropriate times
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Sometimes I am jealous of people who get to look at me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Sometimes I can't think of a word. Thesauruses know what its like
of 6 votes, 17% like it
sometimes I don't know what to say. now, for instance.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
Sometimes I give too much information. Also I sweat a lot.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Sometimes I pretend I'm not an international rock star.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
Sometimes I push the envelope. Sometimes they let me lick stamps
of 27 votes, 30% like it
Sometimes I stop and explain things to the viewers at home.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
Sorry I ran over your mutant fish-dog. Freak accident.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Sorry I'm trying to listen, but theres something shiny behind you
of 20 votes, 35% like it
SPANISH. it's the language du jour!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
SPOILER ALERT: I end up being the awesome one.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
Spoiler alert: your favorite character dies.
of 2 votes, 100% like it
spread delicious jams. not diseases.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
spread delicious jams. not rumors.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
STAND BACK. I often take jokes too far.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
STATUS UPDATES. still not doing anything. but now everyone knows
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Sticks and stones may break my bones. This is why I stay indoors.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
STORY PROBLEMS. nice try, math. we know it's you.
of 30 votes, 43% like it
Subtlety: it
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Ten second staring limit. And your time is up...........now.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
That rumor about me isn't true. I mean mostly. I mean I was young
of 24 votes, 38% like it
The Earth's Core.
I'm so over it.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
The key to life is probably hidden under a fake rock somewhere
of 11 votes, 27% like it
The letter N. it's always the center of attention.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
The modern period .
of 13 votes, 31% like it
The more you know, the more friends you'll have!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
THE SUN. it's going down tonight.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
There are 2 kinds of people. Those that make sense.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
There are 88 keys to being a great pianist.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
There is a ninja behind you. Too late he's gone.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
therefore I am. I time travel
of 21 votes, 10% like it
THESAURUS. it's chillin' like an evildoer.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Thesauruses. They know what it's like.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
This is a retraction for the erroneous shirt I wore yesterday.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
This isn't my shirt. I just had a torso transplant.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
this thin layer ofcloth hides a world of inner angst.also mytorso
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Three cheers for mindless repetition!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
today is my favorite episode
of 15 votes, 20% like it
TODAY. the New Jersey of tomorrow.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
TOMORROW: the much anticipated sequel to TODAY.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Top 3 fears: 3.Rejection 2.Clowns 1.Being rejected by clowns.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Tuck in children not t-shirts
of 58 votes, 33% like it
TV learns me good.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
Two words: minimalism.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
UNPREDICTABLE. as always.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
VEGETABLES. nature's way of saying 'Don't eat me.'
of 7 votes, 29% like it
VIKINGS. Strong to the Finnish.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
VOWELS. whr wd w b wtht thm?
of 26 votes, 27% like it
water is good for you. clearly.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
we have a lot in common! 1. we're right here. 2. we can read
of 23 votes, 30% like it
We shouldn't test animals. Because animals can't read.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
We shouldn't throw the word LOVE around. Too many sharp corners.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
what happens in quicksand, stays in quicksand.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
What I lack in looks I make up for in penmanship.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
WHAT TIME IS IT? (this is cheaper than a watch)
of 4 votes, 50% like it
When going gets difficult, the cliches also get difficult.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
When I give the signal,do what we practiced at the secret meeting
of 18 votes, 33% like it
When I was your age, we had a name for our decade.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
When the going gets tough, the cliches get silly.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
when zombies hold hands, they REALLY HOLD HANDS
of 1 votes, 100% like it
whenever I see people litter, a single tear runs down my cheek.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Whenever things get tense, I break for a commercial.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Whoa! Does anyone else feel like this whole planet is spinning?
of 20 votes, 20% like it
WHOA. I'm way past three houses down. don't tell my parents.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
You can't trust the news! (details at 11)
of 19 votes, 26% like it
You just made a cameo in my life movie.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
You need to download the latest version of reality
of 58 votes, 34% like it
You should never make decisions when you're tired. or stupid.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
You should probably put meeting me on your resume.
of 9 votes, 33% like it
You think I can't live a day without constant attention? Watch me
of 15 votes, 33% like it
Youre about to see a completely different side of me (BACK-tada!)
of 17 votes, 18% like it
zombies and cannibals like to hold hands.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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