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nathanwpyle at gmail.com
aka Nathan W. Pyle is a 27.44 year old boy, has been a member since September 29, 2008, has scored 1564 submissions, giving an average score of 3.85.
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So you think you can start a sentence with a conjunction?
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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FACT: preceding anything with the word fact makes it a fact.
of 34 votes, 62% like it
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Whoa! I have the exact same air guitar
of 44 votes, 61% like it
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LIFE. results may vary.
of 36 votes, 67% like it
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RIGHT NOW. it's the latest thing!
of 23 votes, 43% like it
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THESAURUS. don't leave home, abode, dwelling without it
of 34 votes, 74% like it
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This shirt is awesome-activated. It turns red when I'm awesome.
of 48 votes, 52% like it
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This is only a test. If it were a real emergency I'd be like AAAH
of 56 votes, 57% like it
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I like to point out the obvious. Also, this is a shirt.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
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Can I read minds? I'm glad you were about to ask.
of 74 votes, 61% like it
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I'm not immature. You are. Times infinity.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
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every year statistics kill 637 people
of 52 votes, 54% like it
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INERTIA lets the good times roll.
of 38 votes, 66% like it
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Three cheers for repetition!
of 58 votes, 69% like it
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Honesty is the best policy. Running away is a close second.
of 49 votes, 59% like it
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PANCAKES. it all works out for the batter
of 43 votes, 40% like it
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I sense your sarcasm, and I kindly reciprocate.
of 48 votes, 71% like it
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Listen to your heart! make sure it's still beating and what not
of 36 votes, 56% like it
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The HORIZON. it's something to look forward to.
of 47 votes, 66% like it
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Double negatives don't do no harm!
of 50 votes, 50% like it
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PUSH ME. I talk!
of 35 votes, 54% like it
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BRIDGES. I'm so over them.
of 42 votes, 71% like it
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coming up next... The Person Behind Me
of 50 votes, 70% like it
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Approximately a lot of people don't remember statistics very well
of 44 votes, 57% like it
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You know what they say: you can't believe what people say.
of 39 votes, 62% like it
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If my friends could see me now..I'd wonder where they're hiding
of 39 votes, 56% like it
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I'm not clumsy, everything is just in the wrong place.
of 36 votes, 64% like it
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squirrel chauffeurs drive me nuts
of 31 votes, 45% like it
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I had to choose between a watch and a shirt. So..what time is it?
of 34 votes, 62% like it
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Some say invisibility is the best superpower. I just don't see it
of 47 votes, 79% like it
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being immortal never gets old.
of 60 votes, 68% like it
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Simon says you have unhealthy dependence issues.
of 43 votes, 53% like it
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I challenge you to a duel of subtle gestures.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
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THE MOON. it's a nice place but it lacks atmosphere.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
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I'm like the Millard Fillmore of obscure historical references.
of 54 votes, 54% like it
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>:**#()% some emotions are too complex for emoticons
of 40 votes, 68% like it
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My hidden talent must have found a really good hiding spot.
of 65 votes, 82% like it
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everyone starts out as a nudist.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
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If everyone jumped off a cliff, I would do it better.
of 48 votes, 50% like it
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From now on, everything I do is abstract performance art.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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GRAVITY. that's how it all went down.
of 55 votes, 71% like it
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I've come from the future to warn you about that expired cheese.
of 42 votes, 50% like it
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You had a 1 in six billion chance of meeting me today. Lucky.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
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You should probably include this encounter on your resume.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
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I AM A GIANT TALKING BABY.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
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Sticks and stones may break my bones. That's why I stay indoors.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
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I refuse to answer any questions about my evasiveness.
of 47 votes, 55% like it
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I don't take myself too seriously.details at the press conference
of 35 votes, 54% like it
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Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a law against being melodramatic?
of 43 votes, 63% like it
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silence is golden. and by golden I mean awkward.
of 53 votes, 70% like it
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Math taught me to divide. World history taught me to conquer.
of 63 votes, 75% like it
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They say good things come to those who wait. Well. Here I am.
of 47 votes, 60% like it
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hindsight is 20-20. peripheral vision is bear/tree/not sure.
of 48 votes, 48% like it
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I would not be offended if you gave me money.
of 35 votes, 46% like it
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Animal testing is cruel. Because animals can't read.
of 58 votes, 69% like it
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I time travel to find myself
of 36 votes, 44% like it
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If it looks like I am eavesdropping, then you need to speak up.
of 49 votes, 59% like it
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I can speak six languages. Also I made up six languages.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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Some people have experience under their belts. I have pants.
of 62 votes, 77% like it
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The good news is I've forgotten the bad news.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
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Having a big vocabulary is really...um.. nice.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
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I'm trying to be more specific and what-not.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
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Spoiler alert: everybody dies. eventually.
of 42 votes, 69% like it
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I believe people of every race should play that funky music.
of 51 votes, 61% like it
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ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. also, I dented your car.
of 47 votes, 64% like it
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IT'S OK TO TALK TO YOURSELF. at least that's what I tell myself.
of 51 votes, 61% like it
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Clairvoyants unite! you know the place.
of 57 votes, 75% like it
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I took a quiz about you online. My result: 'stalker.'
of 39 votes, 46% like it
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Sorry, my back story is not that interesting. (ON BACK)
of 47 votes, 62% like it
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I MAKE MY OWN CLICHES like a fox swimmin' underwater.
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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I'm so sneaky, even I don't know what I'm doing.
of 56 votes, 77% like it
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Forests are shady.
of 50 votes, 50% like it
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DON'T BE TRIPPIN'. tie your shoes.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
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lazy people unite! no hurry.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
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One day we'll look back at this moment and not remember it.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
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CONTROVERSY! discuss.
of 54 votes, 50% like it
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Sometimes I get out of line. If that happens, save my spot.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
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Loners rule! Who's with me? Anybody?
of 74 votes, 76% like it
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TORNADOES. the natural pick-me-up!
of 59 votes, 51% like it
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It's less than 365 days till my birthday!
of 54 votes, 59% like it
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MURPHY'S LOL. whatever can go wrong will be fun to watch.
of 62 votes, 68% like it
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follow me to the secret hideout
of 48 votes, 56% like it
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Let's play a game. Whoever's shirt is read first wins.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
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CURIOSITY TEST (front); Results: You are curious. (back)
of 64 votes, 66% like it
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THIS IS A DREAM. In real life, I wear pants.
of 50 votes, 44% like it
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I don't know what a rhetorical question is. So what?
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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Sometimes I gallop, just for a change of pace.
of 61 votes, 61% like it
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ECHOES. Nature's way of mocking your loneliness.
of 85 votes, 74% like it
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When I was a kid, I dreamed of owning this shirt.
of 55 votes, 60% like it
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Me, skeptical? Psssh.
of 50 votes, 62% like it
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Everyone should stand for something. I stand for 8 hours a day.
of 52 votes, 69% like it
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I make good money. But the police keep calling it 'counterfeit.'
of 65 votes, 68% like it
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Hey temporal and frontal lobes, thanks for the memories.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
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Needles to say, I'm a pretty sharp speller.
of 59 votes, 56% like it
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mixing languages is uber-cool
of 52 votes, 52% like it
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I manage my anger pretty well. I always have enough.
of 53 votes, 62% like it
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BEEKEEPING. I do it for the honeys.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
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STATIC ELECTRICITY. The best way to conduct yourself.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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I'd like to propose a toast to buttered bread.
of 43 votes, 44% like it
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Sometimes I forget to turn off the irony.
of 50 votes, 70% like it
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Commence the secret handshake
of 47 votes, 43% like it
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I assume this is the long, silent phase of our secret handshake
of 52 votes, 73% like it
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I don't believe in stereotypes. People my age never do.
of 69 votes, 83% like it
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Ask me tomorrow for predictions about today. They're always right
of 46 votes, 50% like it
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CAREERS. everyone's least favorite after-school activity.
of 59 votes, 73% like it
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Please don't move.I really like this spatial relationship we have
of 45 votes, 62% like it
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METAPHYSICS. whatever happens may or may not happen.
of 59 votes, 69% like it
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Due to economic concerns, the letter Y is discontinued. Thank ou.
of 62 votes, 74% like it
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I am NOT defensive. Or redundant. Or defensive.
of 56 votes, 73% like it
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When I have time on my hands, I lick it off. I hate wasting time.
of 67 votes, 55% like it
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I'm not afraid of the future.I'm afraid of ROBOTS from the future
of 55 votes, 64% like it
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Whoa, this is JUST like my dream. Minus the flying koalas.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
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A journey of 1,000 miles begins with one awesome mix tape
of 54 votes, 52% like it
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CAUTION: Shooting the breeze may harm innocent bystanders.
of 49 votes, 59% like it
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Word order matters. Believe me you.
of 52 votes, 71% like it
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used crayons are pointless.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
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To quote my favorite mime: '' ''
of 66 votes, 67% like it
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I don't mean to be forward. That's just the direction I'm walking
of 61 votes, 66% like it
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I have no 'best friend forever' They all compete on a daily basis
of 49 votes, 69% like it
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A pair of spurs would have made my entrance a lot more epic.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
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Narcissism is the only thing I don't like about me.
of 67 votes, 69% like it
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Whoever invented the parachute probably did it very quickly.
of 82 votes, 78% like it
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Imaginary friends are better than fake ones.
of 89 votes, 79% like it
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I often eat some of the bacon as I'm bringing it home.
of 75 votes, 61% like it
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Pirate stereotypes hurt me feelings.
of 84 votes, 74% like it
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Maybe the day doesn't want to be seized.
of 75 votes, 71% like it
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Life is a charade. And the mimes are winning.
of 60 votes, 48% like it
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Time travel is possible. You'll understand when you're younger.
of 82 votes, 67% like it
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I wouldn't call myself a superhero. I prefer to keep it a secret.
of 68 votes, 63% like it
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We all have hard choices to make. That's why God invented coins.
of 69 votes, 74% like it
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PIONEERS. They never settle.
of 57 votes, 61% like it
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NOBODY tells me what to do. Which is why I'm so confused.
of 66 votes, 71% like it
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In case I am cloned, this shirt proves I'm the real me.
of 74 votes, 77% like it
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TODAY'S ITINERARY: 1. Shenanigans. 2. Hijinks. 3. Tomfoolery.
of 69 votes, 62% like it
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PUT AN END TO VIOLENCE. Or at least seriously injure it.
of 60 votes, 68% like it
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I have issues with personal space. Let's keep it between us.
of 67 votes, 63% like it
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PERSONAL SPACE. Let's keep it between us.
of 59 votes, 54% like it
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There's a healthy eater inside of me. I ate him.
of 52 votes, 63% like it
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You cant always believe your eyes.But you can count on your hands
of 52 votes, 60% like it
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Sorry to hear you were vaporized. You will be mist.
of 71 votes, 72% like it
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PLEASE REMEMBER ME. I may need an alibi.
of 65 votes, 72% like it
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Do you want me to do what you just asked me to do?-love, computer
of 38 votes, 39% like it
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German pun contest! Mein is the wurst.
of 49 votes, 59% like it
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Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Settle for average.
of 55 votes, 55% like it
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I______ have_____ a______ fear______ of_______ small_____spaces.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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Help contain claustrophobia.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
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My mood is consistent. It changes every single hour.
of 56 votes, 52% like it
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There's a 0.27% chance it's my birthday. We better play it safe.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
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Chivalry isn't dead. It got stuck holding the door.
of 75 votes, 77% like it
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SPOONS. They're causing a stir.
of 54 votes, 46% like it
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Variety is the spice of life! Monotony is the bland, chewy part.
of 53 votes, 70% like it
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I'm just legit enough to quit.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
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Sorry to change the subject, but...I'm awesome.
of 57 votes, 44% like it
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I'm accurate 24/7/365.25
of 53 votes, 66% like it
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Forget plane geometry. I can do FANCY geometry.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
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I'm going to mentally check out now. Could you cover for me?
of 41 votes, 41% like it
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The expressway to my heart will require an emotional toll.
of 38 votes, 55% like it
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If my calculations are correct, you'll finish reading this....now
of 42 votes, 45% like it
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I throw my hands in the air, but when I wave them, I still care.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
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It's hard to be a dime because everyone turns on you.
of 45 votes, 47% like it
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I found myself in a parallel universe. And then I found myself.
of 40 votes, 43% like it
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Does anyone know where the field trip group went?
of 51 votes, 55% like it
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DESTINY CALLS. Fate usually sends an email.
of 43 votes, 63% like it
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All my bodyguards are disguised as oblivious strangers.
of 66 votes, 76% like it
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VAMPIRES. good at taking your pulse. bad at giving back.
of 43 votes, 42% like it
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It's not easy being green. And it's even harder being chartreuse.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
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I am bad at telling stories. the end.
of 59 votes, 49% like it
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When the Earth makes one full rotation,I'm ready to call it a day
of 55 votes, 47% like it
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Sometimes I want attention.Other times Im just clearing my throat
of 55 votes, 58% like it
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> a feeling
of 52 votes, 44% like it
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I have this nightmare of bananas in pajamas coming down my stairs
of 49 votes, 33% like it
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If 90º angles are wrong, I don't want to be right.
of 44 votes, 59% like it
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Cannot be held liable for accidents that occur while reading this
of 50 votes, 66% like it
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Theres no time like the present.Except right now which is similar
of 60 votes, 73% like it
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I believe nature beats nurture. Cause nature's got WOLVES.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
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I'd rather be a happy camper than a sad winnebago
of 53 votes, 57% like it
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I finally admitted to myself that I have multiple personalities.
of 44 votes, 41% like it
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I threw caution to the wind and it blew into my eyes. It stings.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
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WORD PROBLEMS. nice try, math. we know it's you.
of 102 votes, 77% like it
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I'll take Roman Numerals for D, Alex.
of 51 votes, 41% like it
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Things have been really vague and ominous ever since THE INCIDENT
of 51 votes, 45% like it
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When you used the word plethora, it meant a lot to me
of 56 votes, 57% like it
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The perfect tense has arrived.
of 51 votes, 51% like it
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My mom said monsters aren't real. And now I'm lonely at night.
of 64 votes, 72% like it
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And how does 'not knowing how you feel' make you feel?
of 51 votes, 41% like it
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Boring stuff happened. Nobody wrote it down. The rest is history.
of 59 votes, 54% like it
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You stay out of this.This is between me and the person behind you
of 53 votes, 55% like it
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Everyone watch. I'm about to be awesome.
of 61 votes, 48% like it
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If by 'push up' you mean a frozen treat then yes I can do several
of 66 votes, 73% like it
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BUDDY SYSTEM! Please keep track of my whereabouts.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
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Alright, so I mix up prepositions sometimes. Get above it.
of 50 votes, 42% like it
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It's hard to say goodbye. It's even harder to say rural.
of 58 votes, 64% like it
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Rocking around the clock is a 12 step process
of 53 votes, 47% like it
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There is nothing supreme about covering a pizza with vegetables.
of 55 votes, 62% like it
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Surveys show 40% of people lie half the time. So really it's 20%
of 50 votes, 46% like it
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Here's someone who hates it when people talk in third person.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
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I think we've all made a generalization once or twice.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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Trophies are cool. But participation ribbons are MULTI-COLORED.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
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Llamas: Nature's most lovable typo.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
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So far today, I have
1. Started a list
of 60 votes, 62% like it
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Sometimes I let my guard down. Other times he stays in the tower.
of 66 votes, 70% like it
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Short people! Be long together!
of 49 votes, 49% like it
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Spell check fixes all your typos. Accept for some.
of 54 votes, 52% like it
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If I had to choose one superpower, I'd take INSTANT OATMEAL.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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Hypochondriacs are like magazines. A new issue every month.
of 43 votes, 42% like it
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The word LOVE shouldn't be tossed around. Too many sharp corners
of 47 votes, 45% like it
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Be kind to animals. Most of them don't want to kill or maim you.
of 50 votes, 52% like it
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Once as I was walking to England, I realized I have to stop lying
of 59 votes, 58% like it
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Catching a falling star would actually be pretty unlucky.
of 70 votes, 80% like it
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DNA: everyone has a twisted double life.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
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'Money problems' implies having money. I just have problems.
of 64 votes, 69% like it
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I've been around the block a few times. In other words, I am lost
of 79 votes, 77% like it
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The secret to being a spy is creating a diversion. Thank you.
of 52 votes, 56% like it
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Today's been very productive. At least in terms of carbon dioxide
of 57 votes, 37% like it
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Your frolic needs more whimsey!
of 47 votes, 55% like it
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If I were you, I'd think about not calling me passive aggressive
of 52 votes, 65% like it
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This is the second best way to start conversations.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
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I dont know howthe world ends.But it will involve special effects
of 47 votes, 49% like it
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GENETIC HYBRIDS:1 small step for man. 1 giant leap for mantelopes
of 49 votes, 41% like it
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Cubism causes multiple side effects.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
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Knowing who to trust is hard. But usually the music gives it away
of 50 votes, 60% like it
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We've all made mistakes. But what you did. Wow. That was bad.
of 62 votes, 58% like it
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Children should just grow up.
of 46 votes, 50% like it
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SAFETY SEAL: the sworn enemy of the danger walrus.
of 48 votes, 50% like it
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I HATE GOODBYES. So let's just act like we don't know each other.
of 55 votes, 44% like it
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Let's make awkward eye contact in 3..2..1..
of 55 votes, 67% like it
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I hope this common Earth garment makes me inconspicuous.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
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Let's make brief, awkward eye contact in 3..2..1..
of 49 votes, 67% like it
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You're never going to get away with this predictable ending!!
of 45 votes, 44% like it
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I think one synonym for adequate is enough.
of 48 votes, 58% like it
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I'm beginning to suspect some things on TV are fake.
of 54 votes, 61% like it
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Real bears don't care.
of 60 votes, 77% like it
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SOMEBODY CALL THE LOCKSMITH. MY CAPS LOCK IS BUSTED.
of 35 votes, 40% like it
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MY LOVE IS NOT FOR SALE. But my friendship is reasonably priced.
of 52 votes, 63% like it
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Good friends show you their heart. Good ninjas show you YOURS.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
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Say what you said yesterday! My comeback is ready now.
of 63 votes, 46% like it
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I'm not saying I'm shy. I just hope that someone says it for me.
of 50 votes, 44% like it
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Remember that one summer when there were two asteroid movies?
of 61 votes, 36% like it
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Universal Remotes probably won't work in other galaxies.
of 70 votes, 76% like it
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Liquid nitrogen is cool. If that's what you're N2 (subscript)
of 54 votes, 65% like it
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DRAMATIC PAUSES MAKE EVERYTHING THAT. MUCH. BETTER.
of 64 votes, 63% like it
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UNNECESSARY PAUSES MAKE EVERYTHING THAT. MUCH. BETTER.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
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When opportunity knocks, don't say "Opportunity who?"
of 54 votes, 57% like it
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I can translate Italics. I just tilt my head a little.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
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Mountains are inclined to make it harder for climbers
of 65 votes, 62% like it
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OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS. Spontaneity rings the doorbell and runs away
of 58 votes, 45% like it
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When I had to choose my favorite bird, I decided on a lark.
of 52 votes, 40% like it
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Youre more likely to be struck by a shark than eaten by lightning
of 62 votes, 66% like it
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Quit playing games with my heart. You cruel Aztecs.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
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I clap ambidextrously
of 67 votes, 60% like it
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The only currency I carry is solid gold bars. Made of gold.
of 56 votes, 34% like it
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People who can't stop quoting movies have a problem. Houston.
of 60 votes, 53% like it
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VIKINGS are strong to the finnish
of 50 votes, 48% like it
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If we do battle, I will jump on your head three times to win.
of 53 votes, 45% like it
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My new year's revolution is to improve my vocabulary.
of 53 votes, 40% like it
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I get a buzz from onomatopoeias
of 50 votes, 44% like it
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Actors are hot. But reactors are hotter.
of 56 votes, 48% like it
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Poseidon keeps his seashell collection on his continental shelf
of 58 votes, 53% like it
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How does a cricket know if his jokes are going over well?
of 54 votes, 41% like it
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I drove 88 mph in a DeLorean and all I got was a speeding ticket.
of 63 votes, 49% like it
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This will end up in a thrift store someday.
of 74 votes, 51% like it
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I love the words 'now' and 'ever.' Now more than ever.
of 54 votes, 41% like it
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People who forward chain emails should have their kidneys stolen
of 71 votes, 42% like it
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There comes a life in everyone's time when you sense making stop
of 50 votes, 38% like it
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@#$% happens when you try to capitalize numbers.
of 75 votes, 51% like it
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OUR BORDERS ARE INSECURE. And our coasts are socially awkward
of 84 votes, 71% like it
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Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
1 in like 3 or maybe 4 people don't remember statistics very well
of 19 votes, 37% like it
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A coffin? That's the last thing I need.
of 9 votes, 44% like it
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A lot of people confuse me with that one person you don't know
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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A ninja is just a life coach who takes you out of the game.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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A ninja's favorite plant is an ambush.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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Act like a pirate! just don't go overboard.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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Adding LY turns any adjective into an adverb. Guaranteedly.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Age is not a number. It is a word.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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all the cool people are going this way
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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All the latest research suggests that research is expensive.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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All the latest research suggests that research is overrated.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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Alright, so I mix up my prepositions. Get on it and move over.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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Am I persuasive? I'll put you down for yes.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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Ambidextrous clapper
of 27 votes, 37% like it
|
AMBIGUITY. so what if I do?
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
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AMNESIA. you never forget your first time.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
|
AMNESIACS ANONYMOUS. your secret is safe with us.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
Anonymous people unite!
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Anti-commercialism™
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
APPLE FARMERS ARRESTED IN CIDER TRADING SCAM
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Are the giant robots still right behind me? (If so, nod slowly)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Are we friends now? (I will take silence as a yes)
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
ARE YOU CRAZY?? if so, we should be friends.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
Bad short term memory? I get that a lot. I think.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Being short keeps me on the edge of my seat.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Being shot through makes it surprisingly hard to sing.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
Being shot through the heart makes it hardto sing or assign blame
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Being subjective works for me!
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
BOOKS! they're like really long subtitles
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
BORED. You too, huh?
of 8 votes, 38% like it
|
|
BRAINSTORMS. they're mind blowing!
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
BREVITY. it is.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
Bubbly personalities upset my stomach.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
|
cartoons are unrealistic.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
Certain words cause panic. Like Run. Or else.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
|
CHICKS DIG with their tiny claws.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
|
circles are hot. 360° to be precise.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
CIRCULAR REASONING. it is what it is.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
CONGRATS. you made it past all of my bodyguards.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
|
CONSTRUCTION PAPER. surprisingly bad choice for home construction
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
COOKIE DOUGH. it's like cookies but batter.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
COOKIE DOUGH. like cookies but open source
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
CRAMMING. you learn something new every May.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
cubism has some crazy side effects
of 27 votes, 37% like it
|
DANGER FIRST on opposite day
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
|
DANGER. it's dangerous.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
|
DARKNESS. it's an overnight sensation!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Dentists can get on my nerves. But there are no hard fillings.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
|
DINOSAURS. pics or it didn't happen.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
Do I believe in monsters? Not Yeti.
of 46 votes, 35% like it
|
Don't be afraid. It's you. (backwards)
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Don't believe cliches. I lost a fortune on a hotcake shop.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
EARTH. everyone I know lives there.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
End the cruel use of multiple dogs in schoolyard dares.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Every kiss begins with K. Every diabolical laugh begins with BW.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
|
Everyone else has stopped calling me passive aggressive. And you?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
EXCLAMATION MARKS. one is enough!!!!
of 2 votes, 100% like it
|
|
EXCLAMATION MARKS. one is enough!!!!
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
EXERCISE your right to eat bacon
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
FAMILY. they're like family.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
|
fate brought us together. this shirt will do the rest
of 34 votes, 32% like it
|
Fight moves are 60% more deadly if you shout the name first.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
Forget gravity, I defy logic.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Forget reusable bags. I need reusable groceries.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
Forget the bills, I can hardly pay attention.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
French subtitles will appear here when I speak.
of 56 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Friends are just strangers you have yet to lose touch with.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
GENETIC HYBRIDS: one giant leap for mantelopes
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Give gambling a chance!
of 10 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Go with your heart! you kind of need it.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
Good friends show you their heart. But ninjas show you YOUR heart
of 47 votes, 30% like it
|
Good friends show you their heart.Good ninjas show you YOUR heart
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
|
GRAVITY: how it all goes down.
of 19 votes, 42% like it
|
Guess what kind of underwear I'm wearing! answer on back. (blank)
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
Hackman is a dominant Gene.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Haha! Babies can't read this.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
Haha! I have a jacket on so you can't read this!
of 53 votes, 30% like it
|
haha. good one, life.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
he who hesitates
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
He who hesitates is lost. He who hibernates is like, a bear.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
HEALTHY WEIGHT. I'm so over it.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Help! I'm trapped in a story problem and can't find point B.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
Helvetica shot the serif
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
Hey! It's national don't ignore me day.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Hey, good talk.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
HISTORY IS EASY. This is an historical reenactment of yesterday.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
hold on. coherent thought is loading.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Honesty is the best policy, but ambiguity leaves you more options
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
Honesty is...the best policy. Sure, we'll go with that.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
How to improve a Chick Flick:replace 1 character with molten lava
of 40 votes, 25% like it
|
|
HUMAN INTERACTION. this is the part where I always mess up
of 18 votes, 39% like it
|
hypochondria kills. probably.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
|
I am < pleased
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I am fluent in any language that I made up.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
I am historically reenacting yesterday.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
I beg to differ. Please please let me differ.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I believe in the chaos theory. That's why I hate butterflies.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
I believe it's bad luck to walk under things that are falling.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
I believe there's something out there. just beyond those trees.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I believe there's something out there. like just past those trees
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
I bet you couldn't catch me. If I ran. Or was thrown to you.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
|
I bought a universal remote. I hope it works in other galaxies.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I can has 15 minutes of fame?
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
I can live without constant attention. Just watch me.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
I can make friends. But it's cheaper to find ones already made.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I can predict what will happen today!But you have to ask tomorrow
of 8 votes, 25% like it
|
I can read music. It sounds like do-do-do-DO-do.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
I can recognize Japanese characters. Like Mr. Miyagi.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I can see the writing on the wall.Theyre about to take my crayons
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
I can't just sit by and do nothing. I'm gonna need a magazine.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
I can't keep a secret. And everyone knows it.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I cannot afford both a watch and a shirt. Also what time is it?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
I carry my groceries in this reusable shirt.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
|
I challenge you to a duel of subtle glances.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I could never stay on my carpet square
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
I could outrun a horse. If we both ran on two legs.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
I create my own contractions. Deal with't.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I create my own theme music.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
|
I dare you to put safety first.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I did my calculus homework. But I have no proof.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
|
|
I don't believe in coincidences. So stop following me.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
I don't care who started the fire. Who brought the marshmallows?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
I don't know how empathy feels
of 4 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I don't mean to be forward. I just tend to walk that way.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I don't need anesthesia. I'm naturally insensitive.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
|
I don't talk to myself but sometimes he talks to me
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I don't understand emoticons. sad face.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
I enjoy using archaic words whilst being unsure of their meaning
of 30 votes, 33% like it
|
I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS (would really improve my life)
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
|
I feel like most people shouldn't operate heavy machinery anyway
of 30 votes, 33% like it
|
I feel like no one ever acknowledges my inferiority complex
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I forgot to turn off the irony and burned down a firehouse.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I found a lot of cool stuff in the lost and found.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
|
I found myself in a parallel world and then I found myself.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
I found this in the lost and found.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I get my vitamins by eating 1small brightly colored caveman a day
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
I got cut from the Knife Fighting Team.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
|
I got cut from the knife fighting team. It really hurt.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I had a job as an alligator wrestler. but i couldn't hold it down
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
I had an accident in which I lost my sense of style.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
I hate saying 'I'm sorry.' So consider this shirt my apology.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I have a bad short term memory. also a bad short term memory.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
I have cat-like reflexes. In the sense I swat at shiny things.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
I have no ideal posterior size,and I see no need to lie about it.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I hope my Universal Remote works in other galaxies.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
I interact in real time
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
I killed curiosity and freed the cat.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I know we said red carnations,but all I could find was this shirt
of 30 votes, 30% like it
|
I like a thin layer of cake under my icing.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
I like to imply ambiguous things. And you're next.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I like to keep my options open and my captions closed.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
I like to take a crack at everything. except drugs.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
I liked the phrase 'before it was cool' before it was cool
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I love people watching. Apparently so do you.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
I love superlatives. Now more than ever.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
I love to meet new people everyday. Partly because I'm a fugitive
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I love watching the sun rise and set. Also I need a job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
I made my password 'invalid' so I get a clue if I get it wrong
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
I may be bad at spelling, but I have the heart of a loin.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I may look tough on the outside, but I have a soft, nougat center
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
I NARRATE MY OWN LIFE (underneath) I said quietly
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I need to improve my glistening skills. or something like that
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I need to update my slang somethin' fierce.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
I never back down from danger. That's what turning/running is for
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
I NEVER BACK DOWN. that would be dangerous to walk backwards
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I never compare myself to others. I'm better than that.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
I never forget a face. I put one on every morning.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I NEVER LOOK BACK. so let me know if someone's behind me.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I NEVER REGRET ANYTHING. There are some things I gret though.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I never run from danger. I back away slowly.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I often bite off more than I can chew. Also I spit out food a lot
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I only mock turtle necks
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
I passed anatomy by the skin of my teeth.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
I PUMP IRON EVERYDAY. through my bloodstream.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I put a lot of stuff on my resume. Now I can't find it.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I put the PRO in impromptu dance party.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
I run like the wind. In the sense that the wind doesn't run.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I SEE NATURE! What do I do?
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I see you're still pretending not to know me.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
I see youre still pretending theres no suprise party for me today
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I speak a secret language using only subtle gestures. Oh you too?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I SUPPORT THINGS. especially things that are about to tip over.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I tend to blame others for my failure. Runs in the family.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I TEND TO KEEP EVERYTHING INSIDE.It makes it hard to park the car
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
I tend to make illogical assertions. Blame it on the applesauce.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
I tend to over-explain. (like I explain too much)
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I tend to overthink things. I mean I guess I do. Maybe.
of 6 votes, 67% like it
|
I think this is where we line up and say 'good game.'
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
I think we were separated at birth. Say hi to mom and dad for me.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I tried to be more transparent, but all my organs got in the way
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
I try to meet new people everyday. In other words, I'm a fugitive
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
I want to one day possibly be a bit more confident* (* I hope)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I was a major in nursing until I started to hit the bottle.(kids)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
I was the first to hate it when people claim they were first.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I wear this costume to premieres of movies set in modern times
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I went to the edge of the universe. Nothing to look forward to.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I wish I had lived with no regrets
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
I would eat sushi if it weren't raw. and also fish.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I would exfoliate if I could just find my foliate.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I would talk to strangers more if I knew them.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
|
I would watch chick flicks if one lead was played by molten lava
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I wrote a short story about climbing a mountain. I made it up.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
I'd like to take a look at the kids menu
of 58 votes, 33% like it
|
I'd take a stress test if they didn't make me so anxious.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I'M A MODEL (citizen)
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
I'm addicted to quitting. But I can quit whenever I want.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
I'm an ambidextrous clapper
of 42 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I'm an elastic hydrocarbon polymer, and you're a liquid adhesive.
of 17 votes, 41% like it
|
I'm arguably the greatest arguer ever.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm beginning to suspect some things in movies are fake.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
|
I'm good at keeping secrets. that's why I'm a secret agent.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
I'm mad. about science. bwaa ha ha
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
I'm not as redundant as people say I am redundant, but I'm not.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I'm not gullible. And I bought a certificate that proves it.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm not home right now. Please don't steal anything.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
I'm not saying I'm socially awkward. I'm kind of afraid to say it
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I'm often a little apprehensive.You know, if that's okay with you
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I'm on an epic quest to find the narrator.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
I'm only cryptic when the crow flies at midnight over black hills
of 35 votes, 37% like it
|
|
I'm pretty active on the world wide interspace!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I'm pretty good at detecting patterns. Your underwear is plaid.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm pretty sure I'm invincible
of 49 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I'm rehearsing to play myself in the movie about my life.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
I'm starting to see a pattern to this 'days of the week' thing
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I'm telepathic. It sounds like you are too.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I'm the one who took the user name you wanted.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
I'm way less creepy than the constant phone calls make me sound
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
I've been bad at estimating for like 100 years.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I've been looking for you all my life! Now what do I do?
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I've granted everyone permission to speak freely.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
I've never won a fight. But I have been runner up a few times.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
|
If everyone in the world held hands, we could put an end to blogs
of 51 votes, 37% like it
|
If I were a shapeshifter, I'd make myself a sandwich.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
If life is a highway, then friends are the rumble strips.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
|
If this shirt is floating, you are a vampire. (backwards)
of 49 votes, 33% like it
|
If we are held hostage, send me out for the pizzas.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
If you don't answer the call of nature, it will leave a message.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
|
|
If you want to see my profile, go here or here. (with arrows)
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
IMMORTALITY: it never gets old
of 5 votes, 40% like it
|
In some countries staring is offensive. Good thing we're here!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
INDIGO didn't want to be in your stupid cartoon rainbow anyway.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
International capture the flag! (ours is on the moon.)
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
is everything . timing
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Is that a parenthetical colon or are you just happy to see me?
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
It's bad luck to walk under certain things. Like falling things.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
It's hard to write a story on sandpaper. Unless it's non-friction
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
|
It's not whether you win or lose. It's just not. Leave me alone.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
Its not whether you win or lose.Stop looking at me.I'm not crying
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Je voudrais le kids menu si vous plait
of 44 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Job hunting is a lot easier if you carry a spear.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
KINETIC ENERGY. That's how I roll.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
Kitten attack! Shield your eyes!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
knowing people on drugs is my anti-drug
of 12 votes, 8% like it
|
LEATHER PANTS. they're hard to pull off!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
Leave all these people alone. I'm the one you're looking for.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Let's make awkward eye contact.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
|
Let's make awkward eye contact. Ready? Go!
of 21 votes, 38% like it
|
life is short. liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffe is long.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Life with opposable thumbs is a snap.
of 41 votes, 34% like it
|
LIGHTHOUSES are surprisingly heavy
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
LIGHTNING. The 'tsk tsk' of mother nature.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
LITERASY!
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
LLAMA: Nature's typo.
of 23 votes, 52% like it
|
LLAMAS: nature's typo
of 22 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Loners rule! Who's with me?
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
Look out world, I'm a young person!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
LUNCH. my time to shine!
of 29 votes, 34% like it
|
|
Magic carpets can't really fly. Nor do much to cushion your fall.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
Make everything soft and no one gets hurt!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
My arms are about this long. (gesture included)
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
|
My narcissism is the only thing I don't like about myself.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
My worst fear: a mutant clown-spider asking me to speak in public
of 39 votes, 26% like it
|
Narcissism is my only negative quality.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Nature called. It left you a message.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
Never ask a cannibal if he wants a knuckle sandwich.Cause he DOES
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. They prefer eye contact.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Ninjas don't get jokes. Ninjas get even.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
Ninjas don't get knock-knock jokes. Cause they don't use doors.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
Ninjas don't get knock-knock jokes. They dont use doors. or jokes
of 5 votes, 40% like it
|
|
No one ever said life wouldn't not be confusing
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
Not my shirt. Just had a torso transplant.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
NUCLEAR FUSION. it's hot.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Oh snap! I just remembered I have opposable thumbs.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
Ostracize villains. Penguinize super villains.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
Our whole lives have led up to this moment.Sorry I didnt dress up
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
|
PANGEA. pics or it didn't happen
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
parachute pants: probably not a good way to slow your descent
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
PAY ATTENTION. my shirt will only say this once.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Peering through a keyhole is not as fun as it used to be
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
PEOPLE WHO SAY 'GOOD.' they mean well
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Pessimists unite! (yeah, like this is going to work)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Pinky swears surprisingly do not hold up in a court of law.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
Please direct me to the free samples.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
Press here to refresh. (ON BACK)
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
|
PRESS HERE TO REFRESH. (scratching works too.) - ON BACK
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
Psssst. I'm leaking.
of 22 votes, 41% like it
|
pun lovers you night!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
REACH FOR THE STARS! now you're just like 4 light years away.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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READING. it's like movies with subtitles and no pictures
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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REAL HEROES put on their own oxygen mask first.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
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Red eye reduction software is useless on EVIL CYBORGS.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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remind me to improve my memory
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Remind me to take more initiative.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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SCHOOL: it's the word on the street. in front of schools.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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sentences without verbs. so cliche.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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service temporarily unavailable.please look again in afew minutes
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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Setting a new goal for myself got me kicked off the soccer team
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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SHAPESHIFTERS. make me a sandwich.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Shoot for the stars! Burning up instantaneously=awesome way to go
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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Shoot for the stars! But try not to actually hit one.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Shoot for the stars! no one gets hurt that way.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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sign me up for anonymity!
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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SLEEP. it's the least I can do!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Snide remarks don't pay the rent. But then neither does my job.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
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So this one time, I was born.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Solar wind blows my mind.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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Some electricians replace the wiring. But I refuse.
of 43 votes, 30% like it
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Sometimes I act sad to balance outlaughter at inappropriate times
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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Sometimes I am jealous of people who get to look at me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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Sometimes I can't think of a word. Thesauruses know what its like
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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sometimes I don't know what to say. now, for instance.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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Sometimes I give too much information. Also I sweat a lot.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
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Sometimes I pretend I'm not an international rock star.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Sometimes I push the envelope. Sometimes they let me lick stamps
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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Sometimes I stop and explain things to the viewers at home.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
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Sorry I ran over your mutant fish-dog. Freak accident.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
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Sorry I'm trying to listen, but theres something shiny behind you
of 20 votes, 35% like it
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SPANISH. it's the language du jour!
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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SPOILER ALERT: I end up being the awesome one.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
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Spoiler alert: your favorite character dies.
of 2 votes, 100% like it
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spread delicious jams. not diseases.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
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spread delicious jams. not rumors.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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STAND BACK. I often take jokes too far.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
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STATUS UPDATES. still not doing anything. but now everyone knows
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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Sticks and stones may break my bones. This is why I stay indoors.
of 25 votes, 40% like it
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STORY PROBLEMS. nice try, math. we know it's you.
of 30 votes, 43% like it
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Subtlety: it
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Ten second staring limit. And your time is up...........now.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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That rumor about me isn't true. I mean mostly. I mean I was young
of 24 votes, 38% like it
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The Earth's Core.
I'm so over it.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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The key to life is probably hidden under a fake rock somewhere
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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The letter N. it's always the center of attention.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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The modern period .
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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The more you know, the more friends you'll have!
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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THE SUN. it's going down tonight.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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There are 88 keys to being a great pianist.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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therefore I am. I time travel
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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THESAURUS. it's chillin' like an evildoer.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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Thesauruses. They know what it's like.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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This is a retraction for the erroneous shirt I wore yesterday.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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This isn't my shirt. I just had a torso transplant.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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this thin layer ofcloth hides a world of inner angst.also mytorso
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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Three cheers for mindless repetition!
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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today is my favorite episode
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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TODAY. the New Jersey of tomorrow.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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TOMORROW: the much anticipated sequel to TODAY.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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Top 3 fears: 3.Rejection 2.Clowns 1.Being rejected by clowns.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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Tuck in children not t-shirts
of 58 votes, 33% like it
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TV learns me good.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
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UNPREDICTABLE. as always.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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VIKINGS. Strong to the Finnish.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
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VOWELS. whr wd w b wtht thm?
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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water is good for you. clearly.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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we have a lot in common! 1. we're right here. 2. we can read
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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We shouldn't test animals. Because animals can't read.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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We shouldn't throw the word LOVE around. Too many sharp corners.
of 36 votes, 31% like it
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what happens in quicksand, stays in quicksand.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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What I lack in looks I make up for in penmanship.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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WHAT TIME IS IT? (this is cheaper than a watch)
of 4 votes, 50% like it
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When going gets difficult, the cliches also get difficult.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
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When I give the signal,do what we practiced at the secret meeting
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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When I was your age, we had a name for our decade.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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When the going gets tough, the cliches get silly.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
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when zombies hold hands, they REALLY HOLD HANDS
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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whenever I see people litter, a single tear runs down my cheek.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Whenever things get tense, I break for a commercial.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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Whoa! Does anyone else feel like this whole planet is spinning?
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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WHOA. I'm way past three houses down. don't tell my parents.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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You can't trust the news! (details at 11)
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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You just made a cameo in my life movie.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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You need to download the latest version of reality
of 58 votes, 34% like it
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You should never make decisions when you're tired. or stupid.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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You should probably put meeting me on your resume.
of 9 votes, 33% like it
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You think I can't live a day without constant attention? Watch me
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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Youre about to see a completely different side of me (BACK-tada!)
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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zombies and cannibals like to hold hands.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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http://threadless.com/profile/809791/nathanwpyle_at_gmail_com
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I haven't submitted any photos. I guess I don't want free money.
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