Rembrandt: Keeping it realist since 1606.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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I masticate while eating in public
of 38 votes, 24% like it
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I go to work to make money to buy gas to go to work
of 36 votes, 39% like it
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4 out of 5 hens agree: roosters are too cocky
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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There's nothing more complicated than simplicity
of 30 votes, 33% like it
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The meaning of life is simple: make your life meaningful
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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This shirt was made with 100% cotton and child labor
of 33 votes, 33% like it
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If it wasn't as easy as pie it wouldn't be a piece of cake
of 32 votes, 31% like it
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My bipolar girlfriend really supports the love/hate relationship
of 31 votes, 19% like it
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I'm really tired of sleeping.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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My birthday suit shrank in the water so I had to wear this shirt.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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When in doubt, whip it out!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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I don't need a witty slogan, I'm already a walking joke.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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Space is like, totally far out man.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
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Knowing is half the battle, I don't know what the other half is.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
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Saturday has a morning?
of 30 votes, 43% like it
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Hair, it really grows on you.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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Apathy, it's really...eh forget it.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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My biggest pet peeve is people who complain about pet peeves.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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I'm not lazy, I'm just actively challenged
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Shit happens. Mostly to me so don't worry
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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You look even better than the secret photos I took of you
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Why yes, it is a tumor
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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I didn't do it, but I'll certainly take credit for it
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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I like drawing naked people
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Once upon a time there were three children...then they all died
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Fork with protection. Use a napkin every time
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Could you give me a hand with this? I'm kind of a cannibal
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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I only have eyes for you...I'll have to steal more later
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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I crossed swords with a Knight once...
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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Could you finish this thought for me? I'm too lazy
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Children may be our future, but they're not in mine
of 33 votes, 6% like it
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If something is too hard, then it's not worth doing
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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Would you please kindly jump off a cliff?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Please, don't touch me
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Eeenie-Meenie-Minee-Moe, the answer to life's difficult decisions
of 33 votes, 9% like it
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I'm not anti-social, I just hate stupid people
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Hey kids! Get away from me
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Calculus: When am I ever going to need this in real life?
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Why are cops always around when you don't need them?
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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I do everything half-assed
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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I read a book once...
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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Have you been slapped today?
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Who doesn't like pie?
of 35 votes, 26% like it
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I enjoy classic works of literature in Cliffsnotes form
of 33 votes, 6% like it
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I look forward to living on the streets as an art major
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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I love people with a sick, twisted sense of humor
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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Why don't you go outside and play hide and go *%@! yourself
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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I kinda hate children
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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I quote movies like it's my job
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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If ouy are reading hist ouy have dyslexia
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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Future recovering addict
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis
of 31 votes, 13% like it
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You say tomato I say go %*#! yourself
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Does this shirt make me look like I'm desperate for attention?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
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I was a Hebrew school dropout
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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Can you proofread this and make sure I didn't leave any out?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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Do you have anymore gum, more gum, more gum
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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Why do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow
of 31 votes, 6% like it
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